Raven: Soundtrack Of My Life
by CasaNova73099
Summary: This is a songfic which looks into what led to the birth of Raven as well as her personal view on the events that eventually led up to her final fight with Trigon. Rated T for brief strong language, some adult situations and some action-adventure violence
1. Chapter 1: Missing

**A/N: First fanfic ever! I hope you guys enjoy it. But whether you do or you don't, please read and review anyway. That's the only way I can progress as a writer. **

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**CHAPTER 1**

**Can you stop the fire? (Please… please…)  
Can you stand to fight her? (Please… please…)  
You can't stop the fire (Please… please…)  
You won't say the words (Please… please…)  
Please...**

It was an atypical Friday afternoon in Gotham City, USA. The sky was of a golden orange hue and there was a bit of a chill to the autumn air. Minutes ago, the school bell over at Rockaway High School rang, signaling the end of the school day, and the hundreds of teens instructed here thundered out of the school in noisy cacophony, apparently raring to go and start the weekend.

**Please, please forgive me  
But I won't be home again  
Maybe someday you'll look up  
And barely conscious you'll say to no one  
Isn't something missing?**

That is for all except one student it seemed. Standing idly towards the top of the landing of the stairs that led to the school, was a timid young girl: Angela Roth. She looked to be no older than seventeen, and was fairly easy on the eyes, what with her long black hair pulled up into a messy ponytail, and icy blue eyes that seem to stare right through you. She also wore a striped bluish-green and white shirt under a khaki colored jacket along with a pair of faded denim jeans rolled up to the knee and a pair of white tennis shoes. Angela's eyes nervously darted around the schoolyard as if in search of something or someone, and eventually after several minutes, she slowly made her way down the stairs and through the crowd of her 'beloved peers' …

**You won't cry for my absence, I know  
You forgot me long ago  
Am I that unimportant?  
Am I so insignificant?  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?**

Angela was never really popular in school. Actually, she wasn't that popular at all, and many did all in their power to avoid her. Some had heard of the rumors that Angela was regularly beaten by her father (it was even speculated that this was also the reason why her mother had died so suddenly.) and therefore were afraid to befriend her for fear of their own personal safety. Others however were reluctant to befriend Angela simply because she was what they considered to be 'weird'. Not surprisingly, as she walked by, no one did as much as bat a eyelash to acknowledge that she was even there…

**Even though I'm the sacrifice  
You won't try for me, not now  
Though I die to know you love me  
I'm all alone  
Isn't someone missing me?**

As she neared the bus stop, Angela spotted several of the preppy kids talking loudly and prattling on about their so-called lives. Not wanting to hear their mindless chatter (and not in such a great hurry to head home anyway), Angela opted to take the scenic route on foot over the twenty-minute bus ride. About an hour later, she arrived in front of a dingy and tiny two-story house whose front yard was littered with trash and other debris. _'Home sweet home'_, she thought to herself as she quietly opened the gate and crept up the stairs. Angela neared her apartment door and gingerly used her keys to unlock it.

**Can you stop the fire? (Please… please…)  
Can you stand to fight her? (Please… please…)  
You can't stop the fire (Please… please…)  
You won't say the words (Please… please…)  
Please...**

When she entered, the apartment was unusually still. There was no TV or radio blaring in the background and all of the lights were turned off. However, Angela didn't need the lights to see how filthy the apartment was or to see where she was going. Concluding that either her father was not home or fast asleep (she earnestly prayed for the former), Angela swiftly but silently made her way up the stairs that led to the bedrooms in the dark, just in case he really was asleep.

Thirteen steps later, Angela was almost home free. As she neared the landing, her bedroom door was a mere seven footsteps away and once on the other side of that door, she would be safe. In all the years of the verbal and physical abuse, Angela's father never once dared to harass her while she was in her bedroom. This was discovered the first few times she ran for sanctuary within those four walls, and found it odd when he would stop in the middle of his rampage right at the doorway. But now, she simply used it to her advantage. Her room, as it should, was her only safe haven from the world…

"Where have you been?"

Angela practically jumped 2 feet into the air and whirled around to find a burly man of six feet even leaning up against the doorway to the master bedroom. His normally gray eyes were bloodshot red and his face was scrunched up into a menacing scowl.

"I'm just getting home from school," stuttered Angela, cautiously backing away and towards her bedroom door. From where she was standing, she could smell the alcohol on his person, and in his present state, he was more irrational and dangerous than usual.

"Why did it take you so long to get here then?" slurred Mr. Roth. He attempted to rise from the door way, but then staggered back from lack of balance.

"I missed the bus," fibbed Angela, eyes still locked with his and blindly reaching for the bedroom door.

**Please, please forgive me  
But I won't be home again  
I know what you do to yourself  
I breathe deep and cry out  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?**

"Liar!" Mr. Roth bellowed, and for a drunken man of a husky 280 pounds, surprisingly bounded from the doorway and towards her. Angela hurriedly reached for the doorknob and slid into her bedroom. She twirled around and with her body weight shoved the door closed. However, Mr. Roth was already by the door at this time, and at only a scant 100 pounds, Angela was thrown back by the force of the older man crashing into the door. Angela tried to kick the door close, but instead her father reached out and grabbed her by the leg, dragging her out into the hallway. Angela wiggled free and frantically crawled back into the room, screaming bloody murder and with tears streaming down her face. When she neared the foot of her bed, Mr. Roth was right behind her, and with a swift blow, Angela found herself crashing head on into the wooden frame. As she laid there on the floor with this juggernaut looming over her, Angela winced, knowing all too well of the onslaught soon to follow …

**Even though I'm the sacrifice  
You won't try for me, not now  
Though I die to know you love me  
I'm all alone  
Isn't someone missing me?**

Hours passed and Angela finally came to. She was quite surprised that she did really, for it seemed that the violence intensified each and every time she was beaten. The stinging cuts on her head, lip and arms and the soreness that engulfed her petite body were proof of it. But the thing that bothered Angela the most was the fact that her father no longer viewed her room as a sort of neutral zone. What was she to do now? Social services seemed to constantly turn a deaf ear on the whole matter. No one in school cared about her. She had no older siblings to run to, no aunts or uncles, and her paternal grandparents were in bad standing with her father, so she couldn't rely on them to save her. And her maternal grandparents died several years back from a heart attack and terminal illness.

**And if I bleed, I'll bleed  
Knowing you don't care  
And if I sleep just to dream of you  
I'll wake without you there  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't something...**

Frustrated and exhausted, Angela reached out with her left arm (since she was lying on her right hand side) and feebly waved it until it finally pushed the bedroom door closed. It was then when she noticed the enormous bruise on her left hand and moaned in displeasure. She then forced herself off the floor and locked the door. Slowly making her way to her dresser, Angela opened the topmost drawer and took out the usual: rubbing alcohol, bandages, cotton balls and gauze, and set to mending her wounds.

When she was all cleaned up, she stared into her reflection in the vanity mirror and frowned in disgust. There was once upon a time when others would say that she greatly favored her late mother. Both of them had the same blue eyes and the same sweet face. And in a way, they still looked like one another, only now, they both had inherited black and blue eyes and nicks and cuts to decorate their bodies. And unless something was done, Angela would also share the same fate as her mother: beaten and strangled to death by a man who claimed to love her for better or for worse.

**Even though I'm the sacrifice  
you won't try for me not now  
Though I died to know you love me  
I'm all alone  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?**

When this crossed her mind, something inside of Angela clicked. The soft-spoken wallflower had witnessed and endured quite a lot in her life, but the one thing that she would absolutely not permit to happen was the loss of her life and possibly even her innocence, especially to that monster of a man who dared to call himself a father, and she was sure that she was not going to wait around to found out. It was now official. With no place to call home, hardly any money to her name and no moral support from family and friends, Angela Roth vowed on that night to find a place to which she truly belonged, someplace far away from this home sweet home…

**Can you stop the fire? (Please… please…)  
****Can you stand to fight her? (Please… please…)  
****You can't stop the fire (Please… please…)  
You won't say the words (Please… please…)  
Please...**


	2. Chapter 2: Exodus

CHAPTER 2

**My black backpack's stuffed with broken dreams  
20 bucks should get me through the week**

It was a little after midnight and the overcast sky foretold of rain. It had been nearly two hours since Angela came to the conclusion that she indeed had to leave home in search of refuge. Step by step, bit by bit, Angela crept back and forward throughout her room, carefully combing through every drawer and box for anything of importance and value. Eventually she had a little pile of items lying on her bed: a worn-out old teddy bear that her mother had given her as a child, several photos of Angela and her mother, a flashlight, batteries, a mini first-aid kit and her journal.

Angela then headed back towards her dresser and fumbled around for a change of clothes that was comfortable yet warm. She wasn't having much luck, since most of her fall and winter clothes were still boxed up in the basement, and Angela really didn't want to waste time or risk tipping off her father, so she instead chose a few sweat suits thinking that they could work as extra layers. As she pulled some out of the drawer, a tiny black pouch tumbled out of one of the pockets and onto the floor. Curious, Angela unzipped it and was surprised to find twenty dollars and some loose change. She then stuffed the pouch into her jacket pocket and proceeded to pack her bag.

**Never said a word of discontentment  
Fought it a thousand times but now I'm leaving home**

When she was done, her eyes fell upon the alarm clock over on the other side of the clock for what seemed like the thousandth time today, and once again, anxiety consumed her. True she was unhappy and downright miserable with the way things were, but at the same time this place and this life was the only thing she ever knew, and the thought of going it alone in the world terrified her almost as much as a beating from her dad. Where would she go? What would she do for food, money and shelter? The longer Angela sat on her bed pondering these things, the more she contemplated on staying put. But then her sad eyes would fall on the framed picture hanging on the wall, that one hypocritical picture of a dream family lost forever. In the center of the picture was a much happier Angela at about age 10 standing beside a very sober looking and clean-shaven Mr. Roth and a beautiful woman with dark brown hair and shimmering blue eyes. Although the picture was taken of the three from the waist up, it was evident that the woman was pregnant, 5 months to be exact.

"God how I wish you were still here," whispered Angela. "The both of you. Then maybe things wouldn't be so bad."

Eventually after much debating, Angela summoned the courage to take that first step and she carefully crept to her bedroom door and opened it. As she peered through the opening, she could see that her father's bedroom door was closed. Leery, she waited for what seemed like an eternity before proceeding any further. Down the staircase she crept and she was almost out the front door when a snort was heard coming from the living. For the second time that day, Angela nearly jumped out of her skin and instinctively threw her arms up to protect her face from the inevitable...

And was surprised when nothing ever came...

Lowering her arms to see, there was Mr. Roth, as was expected. However, he was passed out in his recliner, with a Jack Daniels bottle at his feet. Relieved, Angela exhaled the breath she didn't ever realize she was holding and without a second thought or glance, she raced out of the apartment and into the unknown…

**Here in the shadows - I'm safe, I'm free  
I've nowhere else to go but I cannot stay where I don't belong  
**

Within the first few weeks, Angela drifted through the slums of Gotham and burned through her meager funds. Although she was only spending her money on necessities, she really had no idea just how expensive life in Gotham was, and even more so in her current predicament. In time, she sought out job openings that would pay minimum wage, but no one really seemed too keen on hiring a high school drop-out with virtually no skills. And although desperate, Angela wasn't desperate enough to resort to petty thievery or solicitation. Therefore, she had no choice but to go with panhandling…

**Two months pass by and it's getting cold  
I know I'm not lost, I am just alone  
**

Winter set in, and by late November the city was blanketed in frost and snow. For several nights now Angela had been seeking refuge in one of the local homeless shelters, and by day had been panhandling to try and make ends meet. Every once in a while, some kind-hearted person would spare what they could, but for the most part, everyone was in too much of a hurry to care about a homeless victim of abuse. _'So much for the holiday spirit,'_ though Angela, fighting back tears as she walked through the heart of town one blustery evening. _'Then again, I'd rather be cold and hungry than warm and full and beaten on a regular basis.'_

**But I won't cry, I won't give up, I can't go back now  
Waking up is knowing who you really are  
**

Overhead, the all too familiar sound of police helicopters droned by and searchlights danced across the streets in search of some lowlife.

_'However, living day to day from shelter to shelter and out on the streets isn't exactly an upgrade. I need to find a more permanent solution. I'd try anything before I even consider going back…'_

Angela continued her aimless walk through the catacomb-likes streets of Gotham until she stumbled upon a gothic-styled cathedral that she never recalled seeing before. It was a massive building too, one built of red brick and clay with huge multi-story stained glass windows and surrounded by a tall black wrought iron fence. On the sign that hung nearby, the faded words "Faith through Scath Christian Tabernacle" were painted in red.

"Scath?" asked Angela to no particular one and headed over to investigate. She climbed the concrete steps and knocked on the huge castle-like doors. After several knocks later with no response, Angela pressed all of her weight against the heavy door, which opened with a squeaky groan.

**Here in the shadows  
I'm safe, I'm free  
I've nowhere else to go but I cannot stay where I don't belong  
**

Inside, the cathedral was dimly lit by the numerous candles set upon the candelabras and prayer racks, and its walls and windows were decorated with the traditional Christian religion icons. Surprisingly however, there was absolutely no one in attendance, not one person sitting in the pews or anyone attending to the upkeep of the cathedral. Angela found this quite strange, but as she slowly began to gain the feeling in the tips of her fingers and toes, she dismissed the thought and closed the door behind her. Heading deeper inside, Angela slowly walked down the aisle staring in wonder at the decorations and soaking in the ambience of the room. As a little girl, she could vaguely remember attending church with her parents. Those of course, were much better times. But as things at home grew worse, the visits grew less, until finally Angela stopped attending all together. To be perfectly honest, today was the first in almost four years since Angela last set foot inside of a church.

As she neared a statue of Christ upon the cross, Angela humbly knelt before Him, bowed her head in respect, and began to pray:

"Our Lord and Heavenly Father, I, Angela Rosalina Roth, a lowly meek speck of dust, comes before you today, seeking your guidance and mercy. I know I've been neglectful of you and your word, and though I know you are much too kind of a god to punish me now for doing so, it in truth is only a sign of how much I really need you now. I can't go on living this way, day to day running the streets. And I certainly can't go back home, at least not with the way things were when I left it. Please, give me some sign that you haven't forgotten me. I would do anything you'd ask of me if it would help me find some peace on this earth…"

"That was truly touching…"

Angela gasped and turned towards the source of the voice. Standing behind her was a middle-age woman with long fiery red hair tied up into a neat ponytail wearing a long scarlet red tunic and robe. The most captivating thing about her though was her eyes, which were an unearthly violet…

"I'm sorry if I've interrupted something," said Angela nervously, hastily trying to fix her hair and make herself look more presentable.

"Not at all, not at all," said the woman, slowly circling Angela and looking her up and down. She then smiled lightly. "If anything, it should be I to apologize. It's not everyday that someone attends our church and even more so when it's a youth. So, out of curiosity, I came forth to listen, and I became merely entranced by your heartfelt words."

"Uh, thank you?"

"Tell me dear. Things haven't been exactly going well for you as of late, have they?"

"You have no idea."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Perhaps. In time…"

"I understand." The woman then took Angela by the hand and began to lead her away. "Now then, come along."

**Here in the shadows  
I'm safe, I'm free  
I've nowhere else to go but I cannot stay here, oh**

"Wait a minute. Where are you taking me?" asked Angela nervously, pulling back.

"Upstairs to one of our bedchambers." The woman noticed Angela's bewildered face and laughed softly.

"You look tired and hungry, and it's entirely too cold for you to be outside. You will stay here with us until you can get back on your feet."

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to inconvenience you or your…brethren, and you hardly even know me…"

"Nonsense. How could I call myself a Christian and turn someone clearly in distress away? Besides if the thought of charity bothers you so much, we could pay you to do little odd jobs here and there to help upkeep the building. It wouldn't be much of course but…"

"It would be fine, Miss…"

"Moriah. Sister Moriah. And you, little sister?"

"I'm Angela Roth."

"Angela. How positively _divine."_

**Show me the shadow where true meaning lies  
So much more dismay in empty eyes…**

Angela smiled and allowed Moriah to lead her through the nearby archway. Since it was much darker in the inner halls, Moriah picked up a miniature candelabrum and the two marched on. Along the way, Moriah and Angela passed other members of the order, each of them dressed in scarlet tunics, gowns and robes, and each with a very detached look upon their faces. Angela also noted that the more they walked on, the more the décor changed from being warm and inviting to dark and ominous. The change in the atmosphere was beginning to worry Angela, but with the occasional gentle smile from Moriah, she dismissed her paranoia.

_'I did ask for a sign,'_ she thought to herself as they rounded a corner. _'Perhaps He really is heeding my prayer. And maybe, just maybe, this shows that God must really love me…'_


	3. Chapter 3: Bring Me To Life

**Wow! Over 120 hits and it hasn't even been a week yet!**

**Now for a few 'head's up's. This is a rather long chapter, but I think that all the dialogue is necessary in order to explain some things. Also I'm going on a mini-break, since I have to do some more research on Raven's past and find some more Evanescence songs appropriate for the story. But in any event, please read, review, and enjoy…**

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CHAPTER 3

"God…must…_**really**__…_hate me…"

Angela sat on top of the Glass Tower, one of the tallest buildings in Gotham City. World-renowned and a popular tourist attraction, Angela would sometimes come here to remember the good old days and the tender mother-daughter moments she and her mom once shared here…

"_Look, Mom," said a younger Angela, smiling and bouncing excitedly as she looked over the railing. Her mother, with a careworn face, sunglasses and a noticeably flatter stomach smiled and walked over to join her daughter. Before them was a marvelous sight to behold. Gotham may have held the reputation of being a gloomy city overrun with crime and corruption, but by night it seemed to portray a different feel. With the skyline shimmering with countless lights, it easily resembled a starlit sky, and to some this offered the faint hope of a brighter and safer Gotham City._

"_It's like you can see the whole world from up here, huh?" said Mrs. Roth, standing behind her and taking her into her arms. Angela nodded enthusiastically and then turned to look at her mother, who at this time was staring down at the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "Mom?" asked Angela, taking her mother by the hand. Mrs. Roth snapped out of her trance and looked up at her daughter. While she tried to put on a brave front, it was evident even with sunglasses on that she was crying._

"_I'm ok," she said, wiping away the tears that strayed from behind the cover of the glasses. "I'm ok. Especially since he didn't hurt you..."_

_Angela looked at her mother who was now clutching her stomach, and waited until the other visitors out on the observatory were gone to speak further. _

"_Is Daddy upset at us about Connor?"_

_Mrs. Roth winced at the sound of his name. "I'm not sure, baby. But we have to remember that was no one's fault that he died. Connor was a very sick baby, and the doctors did all that was humanly possible to save him. And there was a lot going on between your father and I so…"_

"_That still didn't make it right for him to hit you! Bad things happen here in Gotham all the time. What makes us any different?"_

_Mrs. Roth dropped her head in defeat, and after a brief moment of silence, removed her sunglasses, revealing the black eye she was sporting underneath. _

_"You're right. Nothing makes it ok for his behavior. But hopefully and with God's help, things will get better for us. The pain from losing your brother will lessen; your Dad will find work; and things will go back to normal…We will get through all this…together…"_

_'If you only knew,'_ thought Angela, shaking away the memory from her mind. She then threw back her head, whipping the hair out of her face. And upon Angela's face were the signs of an overly unsympathetic life finally taking its toll. Her bright blue eyes were dull and listless; her ebony black hair had lost its sheen and was in a sorry bedraggled state; and her sweet young face seemed aged and cheerless. All in all, Angela Roth was a mere shadow of the girl she once knew.

"Why did I ever do to deserve this!?" she screamed into the heavens, though her voice was probably lost in the recurring thunderclaps that rolled across the sky. "I've always been a decent person! I tried to save my mother, and I tried to give my father time to come to his senses. When I left home, I never stole from anyone and whenever I could, I worked to make my keep. I even sought refuge and comfort in one of your houses. So…why is it, during all those weeks that I stayed there, that you never warned me once…that those people really weren't who they claimed to be?"

Angela then began to pace back and forth along the roof observatory. "A cult," she spat. "I was stupid enough to enroll myself into a _cult_. Bastards never cared about me at all, only wanted to use me in their little ritual. And what's worse is that _thing _that they managed to conjure up and how he…"

Angela's voice trailed off and she gasped for air, trying her best not to break down any further. "I mean, it's one thing to be raped by a perfect stranger. But to be raped and raped _repeatedly_ by an evil incarnate? And now I know that I'm **pregnant** with his…_child_?"

Lightning danced across the sky and in a flash, Angela withdrew the knife she had been long concealing in her pocket. "Mankind has done nothing but make my life miserable. Yet at the same time I couldn't live with myself knowing that the being inside of me has a possible chance of destroying us all."

Angela held the knife up so that it was within striking distance of her stomach and then closed her eyes. "But at least now I can undo the damage I've done. This child won't have to suffer and neither will I. And hopefully, through my sacrifice, I can be with Mommy and Connor…"

She then quickly thrust the blade toward her body. Just at that moment, the sound of something crashing into metal caught her attention. As her eyes popped opened, Angela was surprised to watch the knife shoot from out of her hand, go sailing through the air and landed with a noisy clank onto the floor a few feet away.

_'Someone else is here,'_ she thought, and slowly turned to the doorway to face her 'rescuer'. Standing aways from her by the doorway was a man with chestnut brown hair and a long beard. He wore a long royal purple under tunic with an embroidered black hooded cloak trimmed in silver and in his hand was a staff of some sort. He also had strikingly blue eyes just like Angela's.

"Why do you do this thing?" he shouted to her, his voice surprisingly both powerful yet charming. He then slowly began to make his way toward her.

"Keep away from me!" shrieked Angela, racing for the knife and brandishing it at him. "I've had a rough three months and I will not tolerate someone hurting me again!"

"I have no such intentions," he continued, stopping in his tracks. "I only wanted to keep you from doing something you'll regret and cannot undo."

"You have no idea what you're talking about or what I've been through!"

"Is that so, Miss Roth?" he said calmly.

Angela's eyes widened, and out of shock, dropped the knife back onto the floor. "Who…are you?" she asked.

"My name is Coman, and my people and I have been watching you."

"Watching me?"

"Yes. I come from a magical realm that isolated itself from Earth centuries ago. Back in the Dark Ages, there were many people of different tribes and tongues who wanted to escape the violence and evil that plagued our world, but none of us knew exactly how to accomplish this. In time, word got around that there was a mage by the name of Azar, who had been exploring the boundaries of time and space and through his studies, he had stumbled upon an entire new world uninhabited and untouched by man. Willingly forsaking our material possessions and ties with this world, we were able to make the transition and in time, we built a world to our liking. Azar soon became leader and founder of our land, and he as well as many others well-schooled in the Heraldic or in your terms Magic Arts taught us all that they knew."

"And you're telling me all this because…"

"When we left Earth for what is now called Azarath, we vowed to use our knowledge and our powers only for the sake of peace and to ensure that evil would not overtake our new home. And after your unfortunate run-in with Trigon and his followers…"

"Trigon? Is that the name of…"

"Yes that creature that brutally attacked you is Trigon, although throughout the years, his followers have been using the assumed name of Scath to remain undetected by those who opposed him."

"I see…But what does this have to do with me?"

"You are with child, and with his seed, are you not?"

"Yes. I have… been… with no other…"

"Then you carry a great burden within you, dear child. Ages ago, Trigon as well as many of his demon brethren were banished from both heaven and earth. But before his exile, Trigon swore revenge upon all living things, and he decreed that the first woman to successfully mate with him would become pregnant with his offspring. When the child reaches the age of sixteen, he or she would be at the most powerful and at the same time the most vulnerable point in their short life. At this time, he or she would easily be persuaded to join Trigon, and through this union, a portal would open, allowing Trigon permanent entry to Earth. And once back on Earth…"

"Everything and everyone would fall at his hand…"

Coman nodded slightly and Angela looked down sadly. Coman looked at the young girl with sympathy, searching for any words to ease her anguish. Eventually, Angela looked back up at him and their eyes met for the first time since the conversation started.

**How can you see into my eyes like open doors?**

"Deep down, I always knew that nothing good could come from Trigon taking me," stated Angela. "But, this is still a human life - if not half of one - inside of me. This child…_my child_…has literally the weight of the world on his or her shoulders. What am I to do with such a paradox hanging over me?"

**Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb**

"Come with me…"

"What?"

"Come with me. That is why I'm here. When Azarath picked up on what had befallen you, Azar, Azar the first's granddaughter and current leader of our people, felt certain that something could be done to reverse the effects of Trigon's plan."

"How?"

"By coming to Azarath. Our people could protect you and the child from harm, and you would be out of reach from Trigon. After all, he can't overtake the Earth if you and the child are no longer on Earth, yes? He would have to search every land and dimension to find you, and thus allowing us more time to counteract."

"Well, that does make sense…"

"You would come to live among us, learning our way of life. And as the child grows, we can come up with a plan to stop Trigon once and for all. There's just one catch."

**Without a soul; my spirit sleeping somewhere cold**

"And that would be?"

"Like those before you, you will have to forsake everything you have on Earth. Also, because of the matter at hand, you would have to adopt a new identity…"

Angela closed her eyes and things grew silent between the two of them. After a few minutes of thinking, she opened her eyes and spoke four simple words...

"Then so be it."

**Until you find it there and lead it back… home**

Coman nodded and extended his hand toward Angela. He then pounded his staff several times on the floor, closed his eyes and began to speak:

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos...Carazon Rakashas Endere..."

As the incantation continued, flashes of bluish light began to surround the two. Naturally apprehensive, Angela clung to Coman's right arm, and soon a cylinder-like aura enveloped them.

"Vaserix Endrien… Azarath...Azarath…AZARATH!"

**(Wake me up) Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)**** Wake me up inside  
(Save me)**** Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)**** Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)**** Before I come undone  
(Save me)**** Save me from the nothing I've become…**

With that final declaration, Angela and Coman began to float off of the floor and towards a swirling vortex of light overhead. Startled, Angela screamed and closed her eyes as she and Coman were sucked into a fiery like tunnel with blinding mystical lights rushing throughout the area. As they flew forth, Angela frantically clung to Coman's body, who blushed at the contact.

"Do not fear," shouted Coman to the panic-stricken teen. "This is only a safeguard for any who may try to break into Azarath. Rest assured that you will not be harmed."

Hearing this, Angela relaxed a little and she and Coman continued to fly throughout the mysterious portal. In time the two reached the end of the tunnel where a large circular pattern traced in pink light arcs and triangles at the center, with runes inscribed around the perimeter laid before them. Angela looked on in wonder as Coman held out his staff and touched the crest. It disintegrated upon contact and with a blinding light, the two fell forth through its opening and onto a patch of grass.

"Are you ok?" asked Coman, extending a hand to her. Angela simply nodded and rose from off the ground. After dusting herself off she then walked to the edge of the clearing and gazed off into the horizon. Several miles away, Angela caught sight of a fairly large city with numerous towers and building of varying architecture and design. At the center and overlooking the entire city stood a tall tower of ivory with several gold accents and on the front of the tower was a golden icon of an eagle.

"Welcome…to Azarath…" said Coman to awe-struck Angela.

**Now that I know what I'm without  
You can't just leave me**

A few hours later, Angela sat alone on the balcony of the tallest tower feeding breadcrumbs to the doves that congregated at the garden terrace. Having freshened up and had a change of clothes, she was in a much calmer mood, and when she had asked Coman for a little time alone, it was willingly granted. And this worked out fine; Angela after all she had been through needed a moment to gather her thoughts, and Coman and his colleagues needed time to plan the next step. Inside of the central tower, Coman stood with several members of the ruling magistrate of Azarath inside of a grand courtroom. Azar, the leader of the land and the woman responsible for Coman retrieving Angela watched on intently from her throne as the debate of the century raged on…

"This is disastrous!" cried one member in particular. He was a middle-aged man with shoulder-length blond hair and green eyes. He, like Coman and many of the others present wore a long purple tunic with a black hooded cloak trimmed in silver. "Having that girl here is probably the worst thing for the well-being of Azarath!"

"But Juris," replied a female magistrate. "Azar wouldn't have made such a decision if there was no possibility that Trigon could be defeated."

"Indeed," voiced an elderly male magistrate. "The foremost duty of Azarath is to ensure peace for all and if left alone to his own devices, who knows what Trigon could do? It would be disastrous on _our_ part to ignore such a problem."

"So it's better to have a walking time-bomb live amongst us?"

"I have to agree with Juris," reasoned another magistrate.

"I second it," replied another. "I feel sorry for the girl, and for the child. But it's asking a lot of our people to be launched into a war that they not only didn't start, but didn't ask to be in."

"Here, here!"

"Juris speaks the truth!"

"Well, now that you put it that way…"

"SILENCE!"

And the room fell silent indeed. Everyone turned to Azar, who at this point levitated from her seat and slowly glided towards them, her long snow white hair blowing in the breeze. She gracefully landed in front of her peers and narrowed her cloudy gray eyes. "Do you even hear yourselves?" she hissed. "You are talking about basically condemning a girl that has nothing left to call her own, her unborn child, and all life as we know it to death! If she was left on Earth, it would be all the more easier for Trigon to get to them, and heaven knows that is the last thing we need right now."

"But Your Majesty," trembled yet another magistrate. "What are we to do?"

"Well, given the reaction I have witnessed today, it would be best if both the girl and the child is kept as isolated from everyone else as possible. The less people that know about the situation, the better." Several of the magistrates and Coman nodded in agreement.

**Breathe into me and make me real  
Bring… me… to life**

"Send for her," she decreed. And moments later Coman whisked Angela before Azar and her peers. "Please sit," said Azar warmly. "Yes, Ma'am," answered Angela meekly and sat down upon a simple wooden bench.

"I'm certain you are aware of the circumstances surrounding your child's conception?"

"Yes."

"Then you are also aware of the uneasiness others are sure to feel towards you and the child?"

"Yes, though I can't say that I blame them."

"So you understand that it is necessary to conceal your real identity?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Very well then. Let it been known that starting today, you will be taken to live at one of my family's villas located at the outskirts of Azarath. It is nicely secluded there, and you and the child will be most comfortable living there. You will never have to work to make a living and you will also be assisted by Gayla. She is the housekeeper there and has great experience as a midwife. Lastly, you will no longer be known as Angela Roth. Rather your new name here in this world…is Arella."

"Arella?"

"It means 'messenger of God'."

"I see…Well, thank you, your Grace."

"Take care, young Arella. We will be in touch, and welcome to your new home…"

**(Wake me up) Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)**** Wake me up inside  
(Save me)**** Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)**** Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up)**** Before I come undone  
(Save me)**** Save me from the nothing I've become****  
Bring me to life(I've been living a lie - there's nothing inside)****  
Bring me to life...**

With the passing of time, Angela (now known as Arella) came to grow fond of this new world she called home. Back in Gotham, Angela often felt uneasy and a tad claustrophobic from all of the towering buildings, smog and the constant threat of crime and violence. But here and as Arella, such things seemed like mere illusions. And as Azar promised, Arella was truly free to walk about on the villa grounds and Gayla, a sweet and elderly woman proved to be her dearest friend and confidante. At times the two of them would journey to the local marketplace, which pleased Arella much. It was always full of such life and interesting people – quite a contrast to what she had once known...  
**  
Frozen inside without your touch (Frozen inside without your touch)  
Without your love, darling  
Only you are the life among the dead (Only you are the life)**

The months quickly came and went, and on one overcast summer afternoon, a heavily pregnant Arella stood in the villa's courtyard. She was seven days overdue and she had received word today that Azar and several others were making the journey to both assist and witness the birth. And like the countless other first-time mothers, Arella nervously contemplated how much her life would change once she delivered...

"When I was young, I had hoped that you would be here when I had my first child," she said to no one in particular, tenderly caressing her swollen belly. "But I still thank you for being the best mother there ever was. I only hope I can be half as good as you; for my baby's sake."

"Arella!" said Gayla, the hefty woman standing in the doorway to the villa. "Whatever are you doing out here? It looks as if it's going to rain any minute. Come inside."

"Just thinking. And thanking Mother." Arella then turned to face the older woman.

"Do you think she's proud of me, Gayla?"

"Honey, mothers are _always_ proud of their child. And they will always love them, no matter how special they are or how lost they may seem. You'll see. The minute you're holding that baby, you'll see what I'm talking about."

Arella smiled. "You're right. I supposed I'm just being nervous and…" Arella let the sentence drop as she gasped, and seconds later she found herself standing in a puddle of fluid…

**All of this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me****  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
Got to open my eyes to everything  
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul**** _(Don't let me die here)  
_There must be something more****  
Bring me to life  
**  
Hours later, a summer rainstorm was raging outside and inside of the villa, Arella, Gayla and several others was deep in the midst of delivery, while Azar and Coman anxiously waited outside of Arella's bedroom door. "I can see the head" cried Gayla, who was positioned in front of Arella. "Just a few more pushes, Arella!"

"I can't!" she wailed. "I can't, I can't. Just kill me now."

"Don't talk like that. You can do this!"

"Well maybe I don't want to _do_ this anymore!"

"Arella…"

"Sweetheart, the worst is almost over," cooed a nursemaid. "And it'll be over so much sooner if you just work with us."

Arella moaned and slowly repositioned herself, grabbing the hands of two nearby nurses for support. "Ok, let's try this again," she said through clenched teeth. Gayla nodded and Arella screamed as she pushed once more…  
**  
(Wake me up)**** Wake me up inside  
(I can't wake up)**** Wake me up inside  
(Save me)**** Call my name and save me from the dark  
(Wake me up)**** Bid my blood to run  
(I can't wake up) ****Before I come undone  
(Save me)**** Save me from the nothing I've become**

"Ok, this is it! Prepare the blankets and a clean wash basin!"  
**  
**"Someone fetch the scissors!"

_"_One more push, love, and then it's all over!"

**Bring me to life  
****Bring me to life (I've been living a lie - there's nothing inside)**

Arella screamed at the top of her lungs one last time and in that instant a baby's cries filled the room. As Azar and Coman rushed in, the nurses and Gayla fussed over the baby and quickly set to cutting the umbilical cord and cleaning up. "It's a healthy baby girl!" cried Gayla, cradling the infant and then holding her up into the air for all to see as she had found The Holy Grail itself.

**Bring me to life…**

But Arella didn't hear her, or much else for that matter. Fatigue had consumed her whole, and the exhausted eighteen year old collapsed back onto the bed. Gradually, everything around her, from the sight of all those shuffling around the room to the sound of the tiny infant wailing in Gayla's arms simply faded to nothing...

* * *


	4. Chapter 4: Goodnight, October

**215 hits?! Thanks you guys! **

**You'll be happy to know that I've pretty much compiled together a list of songs for the story, so updates should come pretty regularly from now on. But let's keep our fingers crossed – the last time I said that, my computer went down on me and now I'm behind on my story over on FictionPress. Please also note that in this latest installment, there'll be an appearance of two of Evanescence's songs: 'October' and 'Goodnight'. Both songs are among many of the group's older pieces (like 'when Ben Moody was still in the group' old.), so chances are that some of you haven't even heard any of these. If you're interested in hearing them, several folks over on Youtube has them featured…**

* * *

CHAPTER 4

Skin as pale as moonlight. Eyes and hair a majestic were some of the many words used to describe Arella's pride and joy. As the infant lay in her crib, Arella, who had recovered gracefully from the pangs of childbirth, peered over the railing to stand at her tiny little wonder.

"She's such a sweet baby," said Arella.

"All the better for you, honey," chuckled Gayla, opening a nearby window for some fresh air. "Some babies are colicky and your little one hasn't shown any signs of it or any other major problems. Then again, she hasn't started crawling or walking yet. That will be the big test.

Arella laughed as her little girl made the discovery that she had feet and promptly placed her left foot in her mouth.

"Do those actually taste good, baby?" she cooed.

"By the way, whatever are you going to call her? 'Baby' and 'sweetie' are not going to cut it, and it's been five months."

"I know, Gayla. I know. I'm just trying to find the name that best suits her. Something natural, beautiful and mysterious..."

Gayla nodded. Just then, the sound of a horse-drawn carriage was heard coming down the dirt path leading to the villa.

"Were you excepting company, Gayla?" asked Arella.

"I was just about to ask you," came Gayla's reply as she stared out of the window. As the mystery coach neared the villa grounds, a golden crest of an eagle was visible along the side doors.

"It's Azar!" exclaimed Gayla. "I'll be right back, love." She then hurriedly exited the room to let in their guest. Minutes later, the wise leader of all of Azarath entered the room and promptly closed the door behind her. Arella gracefully curtsied before her and smiled warmly.

"Good day, Azar. To what do I owe the pleasure of being in your company?"

"Good afternoon, Arella. I apologize for just dropping by like this, but I had some pressing news that needed to be discussed."

"I see," said Arella, taking a seat. "Well, please continue."

Azar simply nodded and exhaled a deep breath.

"It has to do with your daughter."

"My daughter? What about her?"

"Well namely the…strange occurrences that have befallen those who have been in her presence. I'm certain you've become aware that she possesses…great power?"

"Yes. Gayla and I both found this out the hard way during the first month or so. Whenever she would cry, random things from around the room would break, float or fall out of its place. Now, we make it a point to always have on hand whatever she may need and whenever she may need it, and this has helped her mood a great deal."

"But this method isn't definite. While keeping the child calm is imperative, as she gets older, she could easily become spoiled. And a child with such power who is spoiled and used to having things her way can be very dangerous to be around."

"Yes, I know…" said Arella sadly.

All of a sudden, Azar gasped, her eyes locked onto something over by the window. Arella turned to see what it was and perched on the windowsill sat a lone raven. It was a rather small and a rather ordinary bird, with chocolate brown eyes, black plumage and a dark bill. And yet this tiny creature was able to make one of the strongest mages of all of Azarath go completely pale in the face.

"Azar?" questioned Arella, seeing the older woman's reaction to the uninvited guest.

"It's…a…raven," said Azar in a hushed voice, gripping her staff.

"So?"

_"So? _Ravens are an icon of dread, Arella. They're known to feed off of dying flesh and there are numerous stories surrounding the belief that being in the presence of ravens or in this case being visited by one, is a most ominous sign!"

Arella raised an eyebrow and turned to the window once more. With its dark feathers and beady little eyes, the bird did in fact understandably emit a sense of fear towards all who saw it. Yet at the same time, the raven seemed just as nervous of Arella and Azar as they were of it. And with that, Arella found a sense of pity for it.

"Perhaps it's lost its way?" inquired Arella.

"Well it needs to_ find_ its way out of this room. We have enough troubles on our hands as is without that thing bringing more bad luck."

The raven now cocked its head and cawed at Azar, who was slowly making her way towards the window, gripping her staff as if it were a baseball bat.

"Azar, what are you…"said Arella, hesitantly.

"Casting this accursed creature off," she replied, her eyes still focused on the unsuspecting bird.

"You're not going to kill it, are you?"

Azar stopped and turned to Arella, who had an unusually sad face. She then lowered her staff and sighed.

"I only had intentions to scare it away."

Whether Arella believed this to be true or not is still a mystery, for without a word, she walked over to the window and extended her hand toward the raven. The raven looked at the outstretched limb in confusion, apparently trying to make out what was happening here but eventually, it gathered that it was safe to trust the strange creature and gently perched itself on Arella's arm. Azar watched in wonder as Arella gently stroked the raven's feathers. She then leaned out of the window and gestured for the raven to take flight,and obediently, the bird took off and flew into the horizon. Arella then shut the window and went to take a seat over by the baby's crib.

"Well, then," said Azar, who visibly looked most relived that the bird was gone. "As I was saying, simply pacifying the child every time she cries won't always work. What if she falls down during play and you or Gayla is not there? Or, what if you tell her something that she doesn't want to hear or do? Her destructive behavior if left unchecked could hurt innocent bystanders and more importantly, could alert her father as to her whereabouts."

"I understand that, Azar. But I only have but so much experience in the Heraldic Arts, and with my baby's…heritage, I wouldn't have much influence over her."

"Which is why I feel that she must come to live with me..."

**I can't run anymore  
I fall before you  
Here I am  
I have nothing left**

Arella looked at Azar as if she had two heads.

"Excuse me?"

"Now before you go and get upset, Arella, I think this is for the best."

"You're taking my baby away from me?!"

"Arella, please. I only suggested this because I would be able to train her to both use and control her powers more effectively. At the same time, I can come to a full knowledge of what she can and cannot do and thus we'll be that much closer to defeating Trigon."

**Though I've tried to forget  
You're all that I am**

Arella turned away from Azar and stared at the opposite wall. "She would still be your daughter, Arella. I'll only take her on as an apprentice. And she can stay with you here until she's old enough to understand that she has unique powers that require additional training to master. Not a day sooner…"

Arella remained silent, and Azar sighed once more. She then turned and started to walk out of the room.

**Take me home  
I'm through fighting it  
Broken, lifeless  
I give up  
You're my only strength  
Without you I can't go on anymore  
Ever again**

"...I will bring her to you when I feel that she is ready," replied Arella finally. Azar turned back around and nodded.

"I understand. I will await your visit, and good day to you."

Arella nodded and Azar left the room. The young mother then turned to her daughter's crib once more. The infant, now sleeping soundly on her back, let out a little sigh of contentment. Arella smiled and lovingly caressed her baby's head.

"Sleep well…my little Raven…"

**My only hope (All the times I've tried)  
My only peace (To walk away from you)  
My only joy, My only strength (I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power, My only life (And love is where I am)  
My only love**

Time waits for no man, and this couldn't prove any truer for Arella. It seemed like all she did was just blink and Raven was already nearing her first birthday. Being highly inquisitive, Raven enjoyed many a day just crawling about through the villa and its garden and exploring the big world around her. And always standing not too far off from her was Arella, who keenly observed every little thing she did. At times Arella would laugh at the way Raven would stumbled across certain things and she would fawn over how the simplest things in life, like the passing of a butterfly, would both fascinate and delight her.

"She's very studious and observant of her surroundings," said Arella to Gayla one day. "She's going to be very involved in learning and books one day."

Gayla looked at the little toddler, who was now investigating a nearby flowerbed and smiled.

"She sure will," she replied.

**I can't run anymore  
I give myself to you  
I'm sorry, I'm sorry  
In all my bitterness I ignored  
All that's real and true  
All I need is you**

Two years passed and as Arella predicted, Raven often found herself flipping through books and pleading with Arella to read her stories. And Arella being the doting mother that she was would often agree to the task. One day, she searched high and low for Raven's favorite storybook which had gone missing earlier that day, and after several attempts (and several overturned objects later) she returned back to her daughter empty-handed. Understandably disappointed and yet strongly determined, the three-year-old's eyes soon began to glow white and the red chakra stone that now sat on the center of her forehead glowed red. Surprised, Arella jumped back and watched in amazement as the 'lost' storybook slide from out of its hiding place - which was under the bookcase - floated across the room and into Arella's hands. Arella looked down at Raven, who smiled smugly.

"Found it!" she squealed. Arella could only laugh at her little declaration.

"Yes you did. Now how did you get to be such a smart girl? I would've never guessed to look under there for it."

**"**I don't know," she shrugged. "I just felt that the book was there. And it was!"

Arella smiled and took a seat on the floor in front of Raven. "Well then, shall we?" she said, opening the book and turning the pages...

* * *

Hours later, when both Raven and Gayla were fast asleep in their rooms, Arella crept outside to the garden to be by herself. There, under the cover of a large weeping willow, Arella thought back to the day when she came so close to taking both hers and Raven's life. And here within her solitude is where she wept silently.

_'I can't believe how selfish I was,'_ she thought to herself. '_I had once reasoned that God was ignoring my cries for help. But in truth, he must have heard me, because he went and sent Coman to my side. And if it hadn't been for Coman, I would've lost what has to be most important thing in my life. Cursed or born of the purest blood, I see now what Gayla was talking about. Raven is all I have left in this life, and I wouldn't trade her for anything. And as her mother, I will do all in my power to ensure that her life is not full of the same sorrow and pain that mine was…even if it means giving her to Azar…'_

**When night falls on me  
I'll not close my eyes  
I'm too alive  
And you're too strong  
I can't lie anymore  
I fall down before you  
I'm sorry, I'm sorry  
**

"Raven?" called Arella as she wandered the halls of the villa. Raven, now five years old, had decided upon herself to play a game of hide-and-seek – just when Arella needed to have a talk with her. Things were getting to the point where Raven was simply too much for her and Gayla to handle. With Raven's powers steadily growing and with both Gayla and Arella having very little power to curb the outbursts, Arella sadly knew that the time had come for her and Raven to make the inevitable journey to Azar's tower.

"Raven?" cried Arella once more, entering the main study, and surprisingly she found it empty. _'I was positive that of all places I'd find her in here'_ she thought to herself. Suddenly a swirling vortex of black energy appeared in front of her. Arella screamed as Raven flew in through the self-made portal, grinning all the way.

"Got you, Mommy!" she laughed.

"Raven, please," murmured Arella, a bit annoyed. As the child continued to laugh, one of the bookshelves collapsed and several tomes and scrolls tumbled forth. Arella rushed over to catch the ancient writings.

"Raven, calm down!" she cried. Eventually, the little girl's laugher subsided and noticing her mother struggle, her head drooped.

"Sorry, Mommy," she whispered. "Let me help you…"

"It's alright, Raven. Just…"

But Raven had already summoned her powers and with the wave of her hand, she conjured up a wave of black energy which covered the materials still on the floor. Raven then began to telekinetically lift the documents from off the floor but was having trouble maintaining both her concentration and grip. She eventually settled with a nearby table as her destination and dumped her catch on top.

"That was…" started Arella.

"That was horrible!" cried Raven. "I can't do anything right!"

With that outburst, the table cracked in two and all of the books and scrolls tumbled back onto the floor. "It's fine, darling, really," said Arella, trying to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible, since Raven's temper was starting to cause other items to levitate and fall to the floor.

"How?!" sobbed Raven. "Everything I do is bad! I break things! I make things fall over! I can't even pick stuff up with my mind right!"

**My only hope (All the times I've tried)  
My only peace (To walk away from you)  
My only joy, my only strength (I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power, my only life (And love is where I am)  
My only love**

"But Raven, think about it. Mommy nor Gayla can make things move with their mind. And for you to be able to do it just a little is really saying a lot about you."

With that little revelation, Raven stopped crying and looked up at her mother.

"Really?" she said hoarsely.

"For really really."

Raven wiped her face and was silent for but a moment. She then looked up at her mother again.

"Why were you upset?"

"...Why was I upset?"

"I...heard your thoughts."

Arella's eyes widen. "You…heard my thoughts?"

"Well, sort of. I can hear thoughts and feel what others feel. I knew you were sad about something, so I figured by playing a game with you would make you happy again. But that didn't work. So tell me what you were sad about…"

**Constantly ignoring  
The pain consuming me  
But this time it's cut too deep  
I'll never stray again**

Things between mother and daughter grew exceptionally silent for the remainder of the day. While Arella was far too kind to divulge to Raven the truth about her father and of her destiny, she did explain to her that because of her powers she would soon have to go to stay with Azar. And as was to be expected, Raven didn't really take the news well, and she stormed out half-way in the middle of her mother's explanation. In the days leading up for the trip, an iron curtain of sorts hung over the villa: Raven pretty much kept to herself in the garden, while Arella pretty much remained in her bedroom chamber. Then on the night before their departure, Arella received a visitor to her chamber. Thinking it was Gayla, Arella in only her nightgown casually walked to the door and pulled on the door handle – and was most surprised to see Raven.

"Raven?" asked Arella, covering up her chest and reaching for her robe. "Is something wrong? What are you doing still up?"

"Yes," replied the child in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. Arella then stared at the young girl, trying to feel out where exactly this conversation was going.

"I'm…sorry…I'm not perfect…" she replied. "If I was, then I wouldn't have to go away."

Arella felt as if her heart had just broken in two and she took Raven into her arms.

"Oh, Rae-Rae," she sighed. "I couldn't care less if you were perfect or not. No one is perfect anyway. It's just that Mommy doesn't have the skills to teach you what you need to know. And like I said, my friend Azar will do just that."

"Would I get to see you again?"

Arella smiled. "I don't see why not. But you have to realize that it might not be right away. It all depends on your lessons."

Raven nodded and seemed pleased with this answer. "I'm ready for bed now."

"Come along then," replied Arella, taking her by the hand…

**My only hope (All the times I've tried)  
My only peace (To walk away from you)  
My only joy, my only strength, (I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power, my only life, (And love is where I am)  
My only love, my only hope (All the times I've tried)  
My only peace (To walk away from you)  
My only joy, my only strength (I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power, my only life (And love is where I am)  
My only love…**

With the sense of uneasiness now gone between the two, Arella and Raven began to settle in for the night, and in Raven's bedroom, Arella knelt at Raven's bedside as Raven struggled to put on her nightgown.

"So, are you ready for tomorrow?" asked Arella, pulling back the sheets.

"Yes. And I'm going to be a big girl. I'm going to learn how to control all of my powers."

"I'm glad to hear it."

Raven then raced over to her bed and crawled under the covers, while Arella tucked her in.

"Try to stay under the comforter, love. It's a cold one tonight. Pleasant dreams, and I'll see you at early light." And with that Arella began to exit the room.

"Mommy?" called Raven.

"Yes?" answered Arella, stopping in her tracks.

"…I know I had told you that I was too old for this, but could you sing me the bedtime song tonight?"

Arella turned to face Raven. "Really?"

"For _really_ really. For old times sake."

Arella laughed. _'A five-year-old going on fifty'_ she mused. But deep down, Arella was quite pleased that Raven had made such a request. Arella promptly returned to Raven's bedside and knelt down beside her once more. Raven meanwhile quickly made herself comfortable and patiently awaited her mother's lullaby...

**Goodnight, sleep tight  
No more tears  
In the morning I'll be here  
**

Raven smiled lightly as her eyelids grew heavy and soon closed. Arella brushed back the stray strands of hair from Raven's face and blinked back the hot stinging tears wielding up in her eyes all the while doing her best to not let her voice waver.

**And when we say goodnight,  
Dry your eyes  
Because we said goodnight,  
And not goodbye…**

She then carefully rose from Raven's bedside and slowly began to creep out of the room. As she neared the bedroom door, Arella stared at her sleeping daughter's figure for what could probably be for the last time. She then blew out the candle that she was holding and then slowly closed the bedroom door.

**We said goodnight  
And not...goodbye…**

* * *


	5. Chapter 5: Give Unto Me

**300 hits and counting! **

**I know some of you are wondering why I make such a big deal about announcing the total number of hits each time I update. And the reason for that is because (1) As a new writer it just fascinates me how many times my story is viewed and (2) I have a story over on FictionPress that's nearly four months old and which only has had like a hundred of readers view it. It just totally blows my mind and is proof that Raven is and always will be more popular than any character I can create…**

* * *

CHAPTER 5

Raven stood alone in the villa's garden, her head tilted up towards the heavens and her eyes watching as the dark misty purple hues of the night slowly gave way to the golden rays of the sun peeking over the horizon. The five-year-old had been up for a short while, and was already dressed and packed for the journey to the center of Azarath. And while she knew the trip was mandatory, Raven still wished she could stay at the only place she ever knew as home.

A door was heard opening behind her, and Raven turned to see her mother and Gayla standing in the doorway. Arella wore a long billowing gray-blue cloak which greatly concealed her form and had her hood up shielding her face. Gayla on the other hand appeared to have just woken up, her white hair all askew, and was wearing a robe she had managed to grab to cover up herself.

"Have a safe journey, love," smiled the older woman.

"Thank you, Gayla," replied Arella, embracing her. "I'll see you soon."

Arella then turned to Raven, who was watching the display of affection and looking very much like a fish out of water. "Come, Raven," coaxed Arella. "Aren't you going to say goodbye to Ms. Gayla?"

Hesitantly, Raven approached Gayla and looked up into her careworn face.

"Bye Ms. Gayla," she said in almost a business-like manner. "Thank you for taking care of me and my mommy. I hope to see you soon."

"So do I," said Gayla, leaning over to hug the little mage. "So do I."

Just then, a horse-drawn carriage bearing the crest of Azar pulled up in front of the villa and Arella and Raven looked at each other.

"Well," said Arella, picking up one of Raven's bags. "I guess we'll be off now."

Gayla and Raven nodded, and both mother and daughter exited the villa's courtyard and descended down the cobblestone path. When they reached the carriage, a footman climbed down from the side and politely opened the coach door for them. "Thank you," whispered Arella as he took the ladies' bags and helped Raven climb onboard. She then boarded the carriage and the footman closed the door. He then whistled shrilly to the driver and with a shout and crack of the reins, the carriage was off. For the majority of the ride, Raven and Arella rode in silence, practically because neither one really didn't know what to say to the other at a time like this. But eventually it was Raven who broke the deadlock and approached her mother.

"What is Azar like?"

Arella turned to look at her daughter and smiled. "Well Azar isn't like me or Gayla. She's very serious and diligent about her studies so don't expect there to be much fun and games while with her. But at the same time, she's also a very nice woman. If it weren't for her, we wouldn't have had a place to live."

"Really? Why is that?"

Arella sat there stone-faced, and tried her best not to convey to Raven how distressed she was that she'd asked such a dreaded question. But she also knew that lying would only make matters worse.

"Well, some time ago and before you were born, I was all alone," she started, choosing her words carefully. "I had no parents and no family, no money and no job. I had absolutely nothing and had nowhere else to go. And then I met Azar who felt sorry for me and for you. She offered up one of her family's vacation homes to stay at and was even willing to pay to feed and clothed us."

Raven looked as if she wanted to ask another question, but repressed the notion and simply nodded at her mother's answer. For the remainder of the ride Arella busied herself with a rather large and thick novel while Raven peered out of the carriage window. In time, Raven noted how the scenery was slowly changing from dense woodlands, to rolling plains, and then to small farms and vineyards. And then, not too far off in the distance, Raven's violet eyes fell upon the glorious sight that was the central city of Azarath and gasped.

"This…is Azarath?" she whispered.

"Indeed," smiled Arella, looking up from her book. "This here is the marketplace and when many people live and work and go to school."

Raven continued to watch in fascination at the throngs of people walking about the square. To the youth who had lived her entire life in isolation, it amazed her to see so many different people of shapes, sizes, ages and colors. In fact, Raven became so lost in window watching that she didn't even realize that they had arrived at Azar's tower.

"Come on, Raven," called Arella as she dismounted the coach.

Raven snapped out of her trance and then exited the coach where Arella stood with bags in tow. Arella gestured with her head (since her hands were full) for Raven to walk ahead of her, and the two entered the massive building. Once inside of the tower, Arella left the bags with Raven to watch, and the young adult approached the reception desk to inquire on where to find Azar. From where she stood, Raven watched as her mother stopped to talk to the two men at the front desk. After speaking for a few minutes, the men proceeded to stare at Raven, who immediately sensed their discomfort. But before she could tap into their thoughts to see what was wrong, Arella started back towards her.

"Raven," she murmured, knelling down so that she was at her eye level. "These men here will take you and your things up to Azar's room.

Raven nodded and her eyes started to water.

"Please don't cry," said Arella, who wasn't doing much better than she was. "Remember your powers. You'll have to be strong because you're a big girl now."

Raven blinked back the tears and threw herself into Arella's arms.

"I'll miss you," she sobbed.

"I know, honey," whispered Arella, stroking her hair. "But I'll be back to visit. I promise. And be sure to listen to Azar and do as you're told."

"I promise…"

Eventually, Arella forced herself to release Raven, and she slowly rose from the floor. She then nodded at the clerks at the front desk and one of the men began to make his way over to them. Arella then leaned over and gave Raven a kiss on the cheek. "Until next time, my little birdie," she smiled weakly. Raven returned the same faint smile and the clerk placed his hand on Raven's shoulder.

"Milady, if you'll come with me?" he replied plainly. Raven reluctantly allowed herself to be lead away by the clerk and watched as the distance between her and Arella grew larger and larger, until eventually she could see her mother no longer.

"I will send for someone to get your things," said the clerk as the two walked up a winding staircase. Raven however never responded, heavy in thought of the things soon to come. Eventually the two reached the top of the tower which was heavily guarded. The clerk gestured to the guards, and they stepped aside and allowed him and Raven to proceed further.

"Azar is waiting for you in the chamber just up ahead," he replied, and with that disappeared back downstairs. Raven then turned to look at the massive multistoried door before her and slowly approached it. Her tiny little hand rapped on the door so faintly, she was positive no one would hear her. Then, just as faintly, a voice from inside was heard…

"Enter…"

Raven then pushed the colossal door opened and entered the chamber of her soon-to-be teacher.

Raven's jaw dropped upon the sight of Azar's chamber. It was a huge room with emerald green marble walls and flooring and large two–story windows. It was decorated in the finest of nouveau art and furniture and virtually every space of the room was covered with plants, bookshelves and scroll racks. Completing the imperial setting was a large Zen garden towards the center of the room with a water fountain at each corner. And there hovering in a lotus position was an elderly woman with long snow white hair wearing a deep purple medieval styled gown…

**I've been watching you from a distance **

Raven silently approached the lone woman who remained in her stance. "It is good to see you again, Raven," she said calmly, though not once did she ever open her eyes.

"How can you see me with your eyes closed?" inquired Raven.

Azar chuckled. "Well, you know what I meant." The older woman then broke out of her meditation, slowly landed on the ground and opened her eyes.

"Let me have a look at you," she said, getting up from the floor. She then slowly circled Raven while looking her up and down, all the while Raven silently stood her ground. The wise old ruler then looked upon Raven's face and upon it saw so many different emotions that seemed to haunt her.

**The distance sees through your disguise **

"For someone so young and full of life, you seem so serious," she said, standing in front of Raven.

"That is because of my powers."

"What exactly about your powers?"

"That I don't understand them. I can't control them…"

"Well, that is why you are here. Tell me, what can you do exactly?"

"Well, I can move things with my mind. I know how to fly and go through walls. And I can…read other people's minds..."

At this, Azar's eyes widened. "I can also feel people's emotions," continued Raven. "But a lot of times things just go wrong and people get hurt."

"I see," said Azar, still surprised at what Raven just told her. "Well let's see if we can figure out what exactly happens each time you lose control. Tell me about the last time this happened."

"I was playing Hide and Seek with my mommy and we were in the library. I made some books fall off of the bookshelves and I tried to help Mommy picked them up with my powers. But it was too hard so I dropped them somewhere else…"

"How did all this make you feel?"

"Well it was fun hiding and scaring Mommy, but then I got sad when I realized I broke the shelf and made a mess. And then I got real sad when I couldn't move the books where I wanted them to go. Then the table broke, and I got mad at myself…"

**All I want from you is your hurting  
****I want to heal you  
I want to save you from the dark**

While Raven spoke, several of the potted plants began to rock in place. "Raven, stop!" shouted Azar. Raven instantly stopped talking and the pottery grew still. Azar looked around the room and then at Raven.

_'It's happening again,'_ thought Azar to herself. _'And it's definite proof that there's a connection between the two.'_

"What?" asked Raven.

"I think I know what the focal point of your powers is," answered Azar. "It's your emotions."

"My emotions?"

"I have reason to believe so, yes. Sadness and anger caused you to lose focus, while things such as happiness caused a surge or a sudden increase in power. Somehow, everything that you can do is affected by how and what you're feeling."

"But what about me hearing thoughts and feeling emotions?"

Azar grew silent again. _'That is a mystery. Perhaps it's because of your father?'_

"I do not know," said Azar out loud.

"Is it because I'm…different?"

Azar cursed to herself and looked up at Raven once more. "What is wrong with being different?" she reasoned. "I have different hair and eyes than your mother, and your mother's a different race and body type from Gayla."

"But I'm _really _different," said Raven pitifully. "I'm the only person in all of Azarath who looks the way I do, and no one else seems to have the same powers I do!"

Azar looked at the young girl sadly. "You poor thing. Having to go through so much and not understand why."

"What do you mean?"

"You were born different from us, Raven. That's for certain. But always remember that being different is not always a bad thing. You were bestowed very special powers, and I believe that someday when you're older, you will actually be the one to save us all from a most unspeakable evil."

"But, I'm no hero, Azar…"

"No one is born a hero, child. Heroes are made, and you wherever you realize it or not, have the makings of one. But, you also need training to both master your emotional and physical strength. One cannot handle a matter correctly if he lets his personal thoughts and insecurities get the better of him, and this is why you are here today."

Raven smiled lightly. "Now then, let's have a little something to eat," said Azar, motioning at the trays of snacks and finger food being brought in by two servants. "You must be hungry after your long journey. After lunch, we will begin your training…"

**Give unto me your troubles  
I'll endure your suffering  
Place onto me your burden  
I'll drink your deadly poison**

"The first thing we must resolve is your controlling your temperament," said Azar to Raven one day while outside in Azar's garden terrace. "You must find a way to stay as calm and collected as possible and at all times. I personally use meditation for that. Managing a small country will make you want to pull your own hair out at times."

A man is heard chuckling and Raven turned to see Coman standing off by the doorway.

"Good day, Mr. Coman," smiled Raven.

"Good day indeed," said Azar, somewhat annoyed with the intrusion.

"Good afternoon ladies," he chirped. "I was in the area, and I wanted to see how Raven's lessons were coming along."

"Well, you're free to sit in if you like," said Azar gesturing for him to have a seat at one of the stone benches. Coman nodded and went to find a seat.

"Now then," continued Azar and Raven quickly returned her attention to her mentor. "Mediation helps by blocking out all outside and inner distractions and thereby it can help you to keep control of your powers."

With that, Azar assumed a lotus position and within moments began to levitate off the ground.

"Servatis a pereculum…" she droned. "Servatis a maleficum…"

"What does that mean?" asked Raven, who then quickly clasped her hands over her mouth. "I'm sorry," she squeaked. "I forgot! I shouldn't have interrupted."

"That's fine," said Azar, opening her eyes. "How else will you learn? Anyway in regards to your question, I was chanting my mantra. A mantra is a word or sound used during meditation. It helps to ease stress and the flow of power and consciousness. The words I've chosen are of the Latin tongue. Loosely translated, it means 'protect us from harm' and 'protect us from evil'."

"What words should I use for my mantra?"

"It can be any sound, word or expression with importance to you."

"Well…how would I say that my power comes from Azarath?"

"Your power comes from Azarath?"

"Yes. 'My power comes from Azarath'. All of my friends and family live here in Azarath. And Gayla always said that one can draw strength from family and friends. So, my power comes from Azarath."

"Well, there was an incantation I once used years ago," interjected Coman. "It's from a dead language and it roughly translates to 'my power comes from Azarath'. Repeat after me: Azarath…"

"Azarath…"

"Metrion…"

"Me..tee…rion.."

"Meh-_tree_-on…"

"Metrion…"

"Zinthos…"

"Zin…thos…"

"Now put them all together."

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos?"

"And there you have it."

Raven smiled. "Now let's combined the mantra with mediation," said Azar. Raven nodded and sat on the floor in a lotus position.

"Find your center…and concentrate…" continued Azar. Raven closed her eyes and things grew silent. Then, ever so slowly, Raven started to levitate off the floor.

"Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos…" she chanted. Azar and Coman simply smiled.

**Why should I care if they hurt you  
****Somehow it matters more to me  
****Than if I were hurting myself  
****Save you (Save you)  
I'll save you**

Time slowly passed by and Raven, now eight years old, was getting close to successfully mastering her powers. Sure there was the occasional random flying book or exploding vase, but it was nothing compared how things once were. And with this achievement, Raven was allowed to freely walk about Azar's Tower and take in the sights. Raven would often journey down to the Grand Study Hall on the ground level of the tower. It was here where several scholars who had mastered the Heraldic Arts taught the younger ones of Azarath, and Raven, a lover of books and history often crept in to listen in on their studies. On one particular afternoon, Raven was on her way down to the Grand Study Hall when she overheard a fierce conversation between Azar, one of the teachers and two students.

"I will _not _apologize to her!" screamed the male student. He had carrot-red hair and green eyes and looked to be a few years older than Raven. "Why should I when our so-called grand leader is protecting a murderer?"

Raven grimaced. _'Who is he talking about?'_ she questioned. _'Azar would never do something like that.'_

"Magnus, control your tongue!" barked the teacher. "Regardless of whatever grudges you hold, that gives you no right to insult Her Majesty and those she keeps company with."

The boy called Magnus snarled and folded his arms. The other student, a girl of about ten years of age and with blond hair and blue eyes stepped forth, her bangs sweeping across her forehead and covering her face.

"I apologize for upsetting everyone," she said timidly, never once looking up at the women of authority.

"As long as you realize why what you did was wrong and why you will be punished," continued the teacher.

The girl nodded while Magnus continued to refuse to make any response. "Very well then," spoke the teacher. "The two of you will serve detention after studies for one entire week. You are to assist with the cleaning and tidying up of the Grand Study Hall."

The girl nodded slowly, and Magnus scoffed.

"You have to be kidding me!" he shrieked.

"Does it look like I'm jesting? Now then, you two are free to go."

And with that, Magnus and the girl raced off away from Azar and their professor. "The gall of those two!" he said harshly to his classmate. "How can Azar call herself a great leader and still defend the likes of that _girl_?"

As they rounded the corner, Magnus in all his haste crashed into Raven, who because of her pallid complexion grew red in the face.

"I'm sorry," she stuttered, both embarrassed and worried to be discovered for eavesdropping.

"Ugh! It's _you_!" hissed Magnus.

Raven raised an eyebrow. "What are you _talking_ about?" she asked.

"Stupid witch," he murmured and briskly brushed past her. "Come on, Ariel," Magnus called to the girl. Ariel looked at Raven sadly and quickly followed after him. Raven watched as the two raced off out to the outer courtyard and sighed deeply.

"Don't let Magnus's words bother you," said Azar, walking up behind her.

"But I can't help it," replied Raven. "What does he have against me? Up until today I never even knew he existed."

"It's a long story, and one that is entitled for another day."

Raven looked at her mentor's face, which was etched in sadness and distress. "Why did you let him say such things about you?" asked Raven. "You're a good person. You'd never associate yourself with murderers!"

Azar smiled lightly. "Because I know it not to be the truth. Magnus is feeding off a lot of negative feelings and misplaced animosity. If he only knew the truth about what really happened eight years ago, he'd understand better. More importantly, he and his sister had to understand that spreading slander and enciting to riot will not under _any _circumstances be tolerated, especially when directed towards me and my friends."

"Does that include me?"

"Of course it does. You're like the daughter I never had…"  
**  
(Fear not the flame of my love's candle)Give unto me your troubles  
(Fear not the flame of my love's candle) I'll endure your suffering  
(Let it be the sun in your world of darkness) Place onto me your burden  
(Give unto me all that frightens you) I'll drink your deadly poison  
(I'll have your nightmares for you if you sleep soundly)  
**  
Ever since that one fine day, the master and her apprentice grew closer to one other. Up until that point, Raven never realized how much Azar valued her. Having never married and have born no children of her own, Raven in essence really was like the daughter Azar never had. And although Azar had brothers and sisters and in-laws, it always seemed to be Raven that she was the closest with. Perhaps it was because in some ways Azar saw an earlier form of herself in Raven, a young powerful mage with a great deal expected of her but with no real friends to support her. And Raven soon realized how much she needed Azar. While Arella would on occasion come to visit, it was often Azar who Raven would approach with her deepest concerns and her brightest of dreams. And it was Azar who taught Raven how to manage her power and emotions. Azar as far as she was concerned was Raven's second mother, and thought the world of her loving mentor.  
**  
Give unto me your troubles (Fear not the flame of my love's candle)  
I'll endure your suffering (Let it be the sun in your world of darkness)  
Place onto me your burden (Give unto me all that frightens you)  
I'll drink your deadly poison (I'll have your nightmares for you if you sleep soundly)  
**  
As the years slowly drifted by, Raven soon reached her tenth birthday, and as was the custom, a small private celebration was held in Azar's chamber. Among the invited guests were Arella, Gayla, Coman and a small host of others who'd come to know and love Raven. As Raven blew out the birthday candles, Azar stood aways off from the celebrating group out on the terrace. She smiled wearily as the men and women she'd come to know as her second family laughed and enjoyed one another's company despite the age and cultural differences among them. It was the very scene of what her grandfather had set out to create for his family and friends several hundreds of years ago when he first journeyed to Azarath. Realizing that she finally made his dream come true, Azar wept silently.

"I've finally completed your mission, Grandfather," she whispered to herself. "I hope you are proud of what I've tried to do for your people."

The elderly mage then slowly approached her family and friends, who now were enjoying Raven's birthday cake and other fine cuisines.

"I'm feeling a bit fatigued," she said softly. "I'm going to retire for the night."

**Fear not the flame of my love's candle  
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness**

The others bid Azar a pleasant night, and the elderly ruler opened an inner door and entered the corridor that led to her bedroom chamber. Before she disappeared from view, Raven raced up to her and cried out, "Until the morn, Azar!"

Azar smiled lightly. "Until the morn…"


	6. Chapter 6: My Last Breath

**400 hits. I repeat: 400 hits.**

* * *

CHAPTER 6

"_Azar, what happens to us when we die?" _

Raven sat in her bedroom chamber in total darkness, the preteen haunted by floating words from a conversation she'd had long ago…

"_No one really knows for sure. Some believe that if you've lived a good life, you get to go to Heaven or are reborn into an individual destined for a blessed life. If you've lived a bad life, you're condemned to burn in Hell or reborn in a person destined for much suffering. And if you fall somewhere in-between, you're confined to some sort of ambiguous realm where nothing exists and where one can easily lose his or her mind…"_

Raven squinted her eyes closed to try to keep the tears from falling, and amiss the darkness she heard something topple over onto the floor…

"_Well what do you believe?"_

Raven got up off from the floor and drifted over to her bedroom window. The moon was out and in the distance a shooting star could be seen racing across the sky. But Raven knew there was little hope that any amount of wishing could undo the curse that so unexpectedly struck so close to home…

"_Well, I believe that when we die, that's pretty much it: the end. We lose all consciousness and all ties with this world, and thus we are put to rest eternally in peace. After all, life isn't easy and sadly for some, death is sometimes awaited with open arms."_

"_So all the friends that we make, we lose them forever?"_

"_Forever in body, yes, but never in spirit and mind. People die, Raven. That is a cruel reality of life. But even in death, love- real love - goes on forever …"_

"Forever…" whispered Raven to no one, and closed her eyes once more. Since the evening of Raven's tenth birthday, Azar had fallen ill with a most unpleasant and unknown illness, and for the past two weeks, the beloved monarch laid bedridden in her chamber. Many doctors and faith healers professed that she would in time become well again, and great optimism hung over the entire land. However to one lone girl with the gift of empathy and telepathy, it was easy to tell that it was all a mere ruse. To make matters worse, Raven - while searching for answers on how Azar became sick so quickly - had recently stumbled across the fact that her mentor had in truth been ill for quite some time…

"Why did you hide this from us?" continued Raven to herself. "We could've helped you. Did you think of yourself as being a burden?"

Once again, the sound of something toppling over in the darkness was heard, but Raven was too beside herself to care. However, she also knew that if she didn't get her act together, her anxiety over Azar's welfare could do a lot of harm. Raven then quickly assumed a lotus position and began to mediate…

"Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos…" she droned as she slowly began to levitate off the floor. And in that moment, Raven felt a great deal calmer than she had been.

_'Perhaps I was being too negative'_, she thought to herself. _'After all, I would be able to sense when…'_

A surge of energy coursed through Raven's body and with a yelp, she tumbled back onto the floor. With eyes as large as saucers, Raven panted as she dwell upon the frightening omen that swept across her very being…

"Azar!"

Raven gasped and bounded for the door. As she burst through the door and throughout the tower, several others cried out in shock as both the momentum and speed of the young girl literally knocked them off their feet. But Raven didn't care. Their injuries, if any, wouldn't be life-threatening and she would see them tomorrow.

But not Azar. Azar couldn't wait. And neither would Raven...

The unnerved girl reached Azar's chamber in record time and as she burst through the door, a most unsettling sight laid before her. There were numerous nursemaids and those of the royal magistrate class in the room, all of them standing in silence as if they were at a viewing. And beside Azar's grand king-size bed was a a holy man of some sort reciting the Last Rites. But the most troubling sight was that of Azar. The stern yet loving 'mother' to all of Azarath laid lifelessly on top of the sheets to her bed, her hands interlocked with each other, her long white hair which normally flowed gracefully behind her all askew and a face which seemed to have aged so rapidly over the past few days.

"Raven!" gasped one of the nursemaids, and rushed over to her side. "I…"

"Why did anyone tell me that she was dying!" screamed Raven. "You know I would have wanted to be here!"

"Raven, please…" said the nursemaid, trying her best to pacify her. "We knew how upset you'd be and we thought it was best…"

"I don't believe this!" Raven shrieked and pulled on her hair. "Oh, Azar!" she moaned.

"What is it, dear child?" said a tired voice. Everyone stopped and turned to Azar, who wearily opened her eyes.

"She lives!" cried out one of the magistrates.

"Raven, please come closer," Azar whispered. Raven left the doorway and slowly approached Azar's side and it wasn't until then when she realized just how frail her loving mentor was.

**Hold on to me love  
****You know I can't stay long  
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid**

"Oh Azar," said Raven, extending her hand and gingerly touching the older woman's arm.

"It's alright, Raven," Azar said hoarsely. "Calm down."

"How can I when you're leaving us? When you're leaving _me_?"

"No one lives forever, Raven. Even if I wasn't sick, I would eventually have to go."

"It still isn't fair!"

"It may seem so, but at the same time maybe it's not. I've lived a full life, and I've done all I could to ensure the safety of my people. And as I stand at the gateway to greet Hades himself, I know have no reason to be afraid, knowing I did the best that I could and made the best out of my life."

**Can you hear me?  
****Can you feel me in your arms?**

Raven sniffled. "Come here," whispered Azar, gesturing for her to come closer. Raven hiccupped between sobs and reached over to embrace Azar. Her grip was somewhat strong for Raven feared that the second she'd let go, so would Azar on her hold for life. But Raven also wanted to make sure that she wasn't hurting Azar as well.

**Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you  
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight  
**  
"Dear Raven, and fellow noble people of Azarath," murmured Azar. "It has been a privilege to both befriend and lead you over these past seventy some odd years. I know that I can rest easily knowing that the future of our world rests in such capable hands..."

The other guests in the chamber nodded and some did their best to repress the tears. Raven meanwhile had begun to daydream, and dreamt of the more happy times when everything was just right…

****

I'll miss the winter  
**A world of fragile things  
Look for me in the white forest hiding in a hollow tree ****(Come find me)**

_A young Raven raced through the wintry wonderland known as the Great Woods of Azarath. Every once and a while, Raven, Azar, and in some cases Arella and Gayla, would journey to this isolated stretch of woodland to enjoy both the beauty of nature and each other's company. On this special occasion, Raven flew ahead of Azar, who followed her at a distance to monitor her speed and agility._

"_Raven!" called Azar to her ward. Raven however smirked and suddenly disappeared. Azar stopped and looked around, the snow silently falling around._

"_She loves to do this," said a voice from behind. Azar turned to find Arella standing not too far off from her._

"_I swear that girl must inherit her stealth from you," smiled Azar. _

"_Sorry," laughed Arella. "But, I'm surprised at you, Azar. You're out here playing games with her?"_

"_You make me sound like an old prude, Arella. Raven's a child, and children need a little time now and then to burn off steam. And whether she realizes this or not, this seemingly innocent game of Hide and Seek is really training her to be able to outmaneuver her enemies."_

"_Ah, the old 'two birds with one stone' tactic. That's the Azar I know and love."_

"_Oh shut up…"  
__  
T__he two women walked about the woods in search of Raven, their footsteps crunching in the pristine white snow. "I have to say that I envy you a little," said Arella looking up into the trees._

"_You envy me?"_

"_Yes. I can tell how fond Raven is of you."_

"_Oh Arella. Raven_ is_ like the daughter I never had, but you will always be her mother."_

"_I know. But you two have that special bond. You both understand the Heraldic Arts so well, and the time and effort you two spent honing in on her powers..."_

"_Yes, I suppose so."_

"_But still, I'm happy that she has someone else to look out for her."_

_Azar smiled and upon nearing a hollowed willow tree, she motioned for Arella to be silent. She then crept up and leapt out around the left-hand side of the tree – only to find no one there. Azar looked around in bewilderment while Arella laughed to herself. Raven then phased in from the ground and stood before her loving matriarchs. _

"_That was pretty clever," said Azar. "You're getting better at this."_

"_Thank you," said Raven, walking alongside of her mother…_**  
**

**I know you hear me  
I can taste it in your tears  
****Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you  
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight**

Raven snapped out of her trance and found herself back in Azar's arms. She blinked back tears, though some of them proved to be far too stubborn and they ran down the side of her face.**  
**

"I really wished you'd stay here with me," said Raven softly. "We're all so lost without you."

**Closing your eyes to disappear  
You pray your dreams will leave you here  
**  
Azar sighed softly, and Raven cringed when she felt her very life force begin to fade away. "Azar?" she whispered.

Much to her dismay, Raven got no response.

**But still you wake and know the truth  
No one's there**

"Azar?!" said Raven more forcefully. And still her cries went without a response. "AZAR!"

**Say goodnight  
Don't be afraid  
Calling me, calling me as you fade to black**

"Raven," said Coman, stepping forth and pulling the bawling girl away. "God, no…" she said, almost inaudibly. "Not her…why her…" she began to babble incessantly. Coman then took Raven into his arms and began to carry her out of the room.

"Send a messenger," he announced to one of the servants present. "Ring the vespers and proclaim to all: Our dear Lady Azar is no more."

He then exited the room, with Raven crying and sobbing all the way. All throughout the tower, random objects broke and flew out of their place, and in one instance, a portrait of Azar herself fell from the wall, its brass frame cracking upon impact with the stone floor…  
**  
(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath  
(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself  
(Calling me, calling me as you fade to black) Are all my thoughts of you  
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight**

Three days passed, and outside of one of Azarath's largest temple, the grand funeral of Azar was being held. Not one soul dared to be absent, and even those lame and bedridden made an effort to attend. As the funeral procession marched through the heart of the city, numerous people shouted out their condolences and blessings towards the friends, family and their beloved fallen ruler. Azar's casket, which was made of white cedar and stained ivory white and gold, was carried by six of Azar's closest friends, and following the pallbearers were Azar's surviving family, Coman and the remainder of the Royal Magistrate, Arella, Gayla, and of course Raven. The funeral procession eventually made its way to the outskirts of the city where a vast field of poppies – Azar's favorite flower- grew, and it was here when Azar was to be buried. The hole was soon dug up and after the priest and Azar's family and friends have had their final say, the casket was lowered and all in attendance partook of the tradition of leaving a solitary rose on top of the casket.

**Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you  
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight  
****Holding my last breath…**

When it was Raven's turn, the young dark mage approached the opening in the earth and stared at the casket, silently wishing that this day and the many that led up to it was all a cruel joke. Eventually, Raven worked up the nerve to finally let go of the rose, but not before deliberately pricking her finger on one of the many thorns. As the rose silently floated down onto the casket, Raven walked away with an unreadable look upon her face. Coman, Gayla and Arella stood with bated breath and were ready to offer a shoulder to cry on, but Raven didn't even acknowledge their presence.

"Aren't you going to say at least goodbye to her?" asked one observer.

Raven slowly turned to him and frowned. She then brushed past the man and began to walk off into the distance, silently singing to herself:

"We say _goodnight_, and not _goodbye_… We say _goodnight_…and not _goodbye…_"


	7. Chapter 7: Field of Innocence

**-500 hits-**

**A/N: In this chapter, Raven experiences a lot of flashbacks, and some of these repressed memories run one right after another so I hope things doesn't get too confusing for you all...**

* * *

CHAPTER 7

A frigid wind blew across the land, and a lone figure stood out on a barren field of weeds and dead grass. Every spring and summer, the field was abundant with numerous shades and hues of poppies. But now that winter had arrived, it seemed lonely and desolate – just like its visitor - a teen-aged girl with pale gray skin, her long dark blue cape fluttering in the wind, and her somber violet eyes staring over into the horizon. Many had come to know of this girl as Raven, the daughter of Arella and ward of the late Azar. However, she had most recently come to claim another identity amongst her people…

_It had been three years since Azar's passing and Argus, Azar's nephew, became the successor to the throne. While Argus was an adequate ruler, things just weren't the same for Raven. For one thing, she noted how often others now would stare at her with distrust and on some occasions when Raven would enter a room, conversations would suspiciously and suddenly stop. But the most noticeable change was the way others would deal with Raven in general. After Azar's passing, almost no one would talk to the young girl or attended to her needs and if it weren't for the kindness of Coman, (who would come occasionally to train with Raven in his spare time), and the love of Arella, (who eventually moved into Azar's tower), the young mage often found herself spending many a day all alone, hiding in her bedroom chamber and meditating to keep her focus. _

_On one particular day, Raven had ventured down to the Grand Study Hall to find some new stories to read. It was late afternoon, and classes had ended for the day nearly an hour ago, so Raven blissfully awaited the chance to fully enjoy a vast bounty of knowledge with no distractions. She entered the grand classroom and surveyed her surroundings. In the center of the room was the actual classroom itself, with numerous small desks, several larger desks (presumably belonging to the teachers'), and several mobile chalkboards erased and wiped clean in preparation for the following day. Lined up along the perimeter of the room were several bookshelves and racks, each teeming with countless books and scrolls. Raven smiled lightly and glided across the room and towards the library. She landed in front of one of the bookshelves silently and began to walk around in search of what she came for. As she walked among the rows and rows of towering bookshelves, Raven's ears picked up the low hum of someone's voice and raised an eyebrow._

'_Classes ended an hour ago,' she thought. 'Who is back there?' Raven began to glide across the floor again, trying to ensure that whoever it was lurking in the library wouldn't hear her, and drifted towards the back of the room…_

"_Magnus, you're crazy!" came the hushed voice of a girl._

_Raven stopped dead in her tracks. 'Oh god, not those two again,' she mused sourly. 'And what are you up to this time?' _

_Raven then thought it would be best to try a stealthier approach, and promptly phased down into the floor. No sooner than she did, a teenaged boy with carrot-red hair and green eyes stormed by. Racing behind him was another teenaged boy and two girls, one of them being the same girl Raven had seen him with a few years ago._

"_Magnus, wait!" said the girl once more. "You're being irrational!" _

"_I'm being irrational?!" bellowed Magnus, whipping around so suddenly that the others crashed into each other in an attempt to not crash into him. "I'm trying to seek justice for our father, Ariel, and I'm looking out for the safety of all of Azarath."_

"_But violence is not the answer. What you're suggesting goes against our very way of life!"_

"_Your sister has a point," replied the other girl. She looked to be the about same age as Magnus and had long black hair and brown eyes. "And isn't choosing such a course of action what got your father killed in the first place?"_

"_You have no idea what you're talking about, Winter," spat Magnus. "Sometimes, laws are silent in times of war. It's either 'kill or be killed'. That crazy old bat Azar did nothing but endanger the lives of many just to spare the lives of two people! My father was simply the first of many destined to fall and now is the time to act before it's too late!"_

_By this point the quartet of teens was nearing the exit to the Grand Study Hall. "But murder, Magnus?" questioned his male friend, a stocky boy with coarse dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. "Surely you can think of something else. Listen to Winter…"_

_Suddenly, the doors to the Grand Study Hall slammed closed, and all in attendance jumped back in shock. Then slowly before them, a peeved off Raven phased in from the floor and in front of them, all the while her eyes fiercely locked with Magnus's. _

"_Indeed," she said coolly. "Listen to your friends. You shouldn't speak so bitterly about someone who is deceased. It's just not nice."_

"_What do you know about nice?!" screamed Magnus. "It's all your fault my father's dead!"_

"_Magnus, cool it," murmured the boy. _

_"Back off, Augustus," warned Magnus. "This battle's between me and her."_

"_As if," said Raven calmly, clearly showing that the much taller teen did not intimidate her. "I don't have a bone to pick with you, but I do have a problem with that attitude of yours. And this whole thing with your father: really, what are you talking about?" _

_Hearing this, Ariel and her friends looked on with puzzled looks while their cocky ringleader scoffed. _

"_Don't play dumb, you witch! It's because of your freakish powers!"_

_Raven's eyes faltered slightly, but she never broke her stance and she folded her arms. _

"_How can that be?"_

_Magnus scowled. "Are you trying to tell me that you've never heard of Juris Oryx?"_

_Once again, Raven raised an eyebrow. _"_He's your father?"_

"_Then you _are _aware of the heinous crime you committed!"_

"_Don't be absurd. Everyone knows that there was an error in an incantation he was performing and the misfire is what killed him. And even if you insist that it was because of me, that happened nearly thirteen years ago. I was only a baby."_

"_Didn't matter. You were just as dangerous then as you are now. My father foresaw this and was trying to banish you and your mother away from Azarath. But then you retaliated and caused the spell to kill him instead!"_

"_Impossible! It's not like I would've had knowledge of the Heraldic Arts at that age."_

"_It's possible if you're not human!"_

_Ariel hissed, alarmed at Magnus's lack for tact, and she cowered behind the others, who stood with mouths agape. Raven's stone-cold face melted and she looked at her attacker in alarm._

"_N…not human?" she stuttered._

"_Yes, not human," said Magnus, sharply enunciating every syllable. "Just look at you: gray skin; purple hair and eyes, and that gem on your forehead?"_

"_I just thought I was different. Everyone is born a little different than each other."_

"_And not everyone is born a demon!"_

"_Ah, Jeez," moaned Augustus. _

_"Magnus!" shrieked Winter. Ariel said nothing. Raven meanwhile stood frozen in place, silently soaking in Magnus's cutting words._

"_You're lying…" she said, trying to maintain her cool._

"_It's a fact. You're a demon whose only purpose is to kill, and what's worse is that your father is the legendary evil incarnate Trigon!"_

"_You're lying!" screamed Raven. Nearby, a bookshelf collapsed and its contents spilled onto the floor. The others looked on in horror as Magnus continued to verbally attack Raven. _

"_It's true! Everyone knows it! That's why no one wants to be around you or that whore of a mother of yours! Who knows when you're going to turn on us all?! It's all in the history books, and it's been prophesied for centuries! Your mere presence is the sign of the end of all life as we know it!"_

_As Magnus went on in his tirade, Raven's grip on her control slowly began to crumble. Candelabras fell over, furniture began to hover and books flew around in the air. At this point, Winter and Augustus began to race for the door while Ariel, petrified as she was, tried to convince Magnus to stop._

"_YOU"RE LYING!" screeched Raven, her voice becoming eerily dark. Suddenly, her eyes began to glow an ominous red, and seeing this, Magnus's jaw dropped. The brother and sister looked on in terror as Raven's crimson eyes were soon joined with a second pair of evil red eyes and she slowly levitated off the floor._

"_THE ONLY PERSON HERE CAPABLE OF SUCH AN EVIL IS YOU!" said Raven, who sounded __as if a being not of this world was saying the words along with her. Magnus stood dumbfounded as a crackling wave of black energy engulfed him and he was lifted clean off the floor. "Raven, stop!" screamed Ariel, running over to Raven. But her pleads fell on deaf ears, and Raven in her angered state began to violently shake Magnus as if he was only a rag doll. __"Raven!" cried Ariel, once more and grabbed Raven by the arm in an attempt to stop her. Suddenly, Ariel cried out as a second force of energy sent her flying across the room and into a table. Her screams was just enough to jar Raven back to reality and her eyes slowly went back to normal and the inanimate objects fell to the floor. Just then, Arella, Coman and several others bursted into the room, closely followed by Winter and Augustus. Without even looking behind her, Raven looked up into the air, only to see a very queasy-looking Magnus hovering in a sphere of black energy. She gently set him down and looked across the room at Ariel's weak form trying to struggle to her feet._

"_Raven, what.." gasped Arella. But Raven didn't let her finish her thought. She glided across the room, (and pass a much frightened Magnus), and over to Ariel who looked at her uneasily. It was then when Raven noticed that Ariel had sustained a rather bad injury to her leg from the flight across the room and was bleeding._

"_Oh, Azar…" murmured Raven when she saw this. "Ariel, I didn't mean…"_

_Ariel nervously limped back from Raven, using the broken table as a sort of blockade. _

"_Ariel…"_

_Ariel slid to the floor, the weight of her body too much for her wounded leg to bear. Raven rushed over to her side and placed her hands on the leg. Ariel flinched from the contact but then relaxed a bit. _

"_Why?" was all she could manage to get out._

"_I didn't mean for this to happen," said Raven, her voice breaking. "Magnus just made me so upset. You weren't to get hurt." Raven then turned to look at the others. "No one was to get hurt. I…just lost it…"_

_Raven then looked back down at Ariel's leg. "I wish I could fix this." _

_Ariel gritted her teeth from the pain. "It's not that bad, I suppose. A trip to the infirmary will make it right."_

"_Will it?"_

_Ariel looked back up at her and her blond hair swept across her face. Suddenly, a mysterious blue aura began to emit out of Raven's hands. Ariel yelped and started to back away from Raven. _

"_What are you doing?" screamed Magnus, obviously worried about what may happen next._

_"Raven, what in the name of Azarath is going on?" cried Coman, rushing forth. _

"_I don't know!" screamed Raven. "This has never happened before!" _

_The blue aura continued to glow and much to everyone's surprise, the gaping wound on Ariel's leg slowly began to heal on its own. In a matter of seconds, it completely closed and Ariel immediately leapt up from the floor. Meanwhile, everyone, including Raven, looked on in wonder. __"My god," said Magnus, rushing over Ariel, who was swinging her leg as if to test if it really was good as new. She then looked at Raven, a light smile etched on her face._

"_Raven…" she started. _

_But Raven didn't let her finish. Instead she tearfully turned to Arella and Coman. _

_"Well, is it true?" she said, once again while trying to maintain her cool._

"_What?" said Arella._

_Raven frowned. "Is what Magnus said true? Am I really not human? Am I really a demon…and Trigon's daughter?"_

_Magnus looked at the inquisition before him in puzzlement. Arella and Coman on the other hand nervously looked at each other and then turned back to Raven._

"_To be frank, you're only half-human," answered Coman. "But yes, you do have demonic lineage, and..."_

"_My sole purpose is to destroy all life as we know it," said Raven glumly. __Coman stood at a loss of words with his mouth wide opened and then slowly closed it. Arella looked on sadly and lowered her head. Raven then shook her head bitterly and without another word simply phased through the floor and out of the room…_

* * *

The life-turning events that besieged Raven just a mere few hours ago had the troubled teen's mind in a whirlwind. Ever since learning the truth of her destiny, she fled to Azar's burial ground, since she had often come here in times past to clear her mind and ask for guidance from her sleeping mentor. But now, all that plagued her were memories of the past that at the time seemed insignificant and insecurities of the bleak future so quickly impending upon her…

**I still remember the world from the eyes of a child  
Slowly those feelings were clouded by what I know now  
****Where has my heart gone?  
An uneven trade for the real world  
Oh, I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all**

"_Azar, who is this great evil that you say that I'm to fight some day?" asked a much younger Raven. Azar looked down from her book at the young girl who lay on her back watching the billowy clouds above._

"_Well," started Azar. "He is called Trigon. Trigon was punished for his crimes long ago by being banished from a place called Earth, your mother's actual home. As he was being banished, this great monster swore that he would later use his child…"_

"_His own child?"_

"_His very own child to do bad things to others. However, I think we can keep him from doing this by helping you to get stronger. Your powers are more than likely very similar to his, and this'll be to our advantage."_

"_Well, what is the child's name?"_

_Azar grew silent and then looked back up at her pupil. "I'm afraid I can't tell you yet. You see, the child doesn't know yet themself, and if we were to tell them, they would most likely be sad. It's better for them to learn when they're older and can handle the news better."_

"_I understand…"  
_**  
I still remember the sun always warm on my back  
****Somehow it seems colder now  
****Where has my heart gone?  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
****Oh, I want to go back to believing in everything…**

_Raven stood along on a stretch of beach combing for seashells and other trinkets. Arella, who had taken Raven for a weekend mother-daughter getaway was sunbathing and lying on her back not too far off from her. Eventually Raven made her way over to Arella and looked down at the older woman._

"_Mom, are you awake?" she said softly. But Arella, who apparently was asleep didn't hear her. Raven then took another beach blanket from the basket and went to lay it down on the sand a few yards away. She then just like her mother laid down on her stomach and enjoyed the warmth of the summer sun beaming down on her back. Or, at least it felt warm at first. Suddenly a bone-chilling wind began to blow and the sky went from sky-blue to a stormy and cloudy dark gray. Alarmed at the sudden change of the weather, Raven leapt up and began to race back towards her mother, who surprisingly appeared to still be fast asleep. _

"_Mother!" cried Raven. But it was to no avail, and a huge gust of wind blew so hard that the young girl found herself struggling to walk against it. Eventually, Raven lost the battle with the natural element and staggered back towards the coastline and there towards the surface of the water was an unusual reddish light. Being curious, Raven slowly approached the strange light and as she neared it, a strange and hideous creature appearing to be made completely of fire erupted forth. Raven screamed but strangely found it impossible for her to run away. _

"_What you have concealed, you shall become," the being hissed. _

"_I don't understand," stuttered Raven, still frozen in place._

" _You have no other choice," it continued and slowly began to loom over her. _

_"Stay back!" screamed Raven. "Mother!"_

"_Your destiny _will _be fulfilled!" it shrieked as flames shot forth and began to lick at Raven's body. _

"_Mother! Azar! Help me!" she screamed as she was slowly consumed whole. _

_"The portal _must_ be opened!" said the being one last time and then everything went black…_

"_Raven?" said Arella softly, leaning over Raven's body. The young girl had broken into a sweat and was mumbling to herself. "Raven?" she said once more. Raven suddenly shot up from her stupor, panting heavily and her eyes were wide from fear. _

"_Mother, you're alright!" she sobbed. _

"_But of course I'm alright," smiled Arella. "I was here the whole time. Did you have a bad dream?"_

_Raven's face went blank and she studied the beach. The sky was still sky-blue and the sun was still shining bright. In fact, it appeared as if nothing had ever happened here at all._

"_A…bad dream? You mean…you didn't…you mean I was only…"_

_Arella looked at her in confusion and Raven shook her head. _

"_Nothing," she murmured and stood up. "It was nothing."_

"_Are you sure?" inquired Arella. Raven nodded and turned to watch the rolling waves. "Perhaps we've had enough sun for one day," said Arella gathering their things. "Let's head back to the villa."_

_Raven nodded and slowly began to follow behind her mother. As they walked off, Raven turned back to study the beach once more, questioning her sanity and wondering if she really had dreamt up what she had seen. And in the back of her mind, a low, ethereal voice was heard:_

"_The portal _will_ be opened…"_

**Iesu, Rex amirabilis (O Jesus, King most wonderful)  
Et triumphator nobilis, (Thou Conqueror renowned)  
Dulcedo ineffabilis (Thou Sweetness most ineffable)  
Totus desiderabilis (In whom all joys are found)  
**

Raven sighed deeply and lifted the hood on her cloak so that it covered her head. "Perfect," she murmured. "I'm the offspring of a provoked demon hell-bent in destroying the descendants of all those who banished him and his kind from the world," she murmured. "I'm am the offspring of a being with so much power and such a twisted mind, he can make all of the civil and world wars that ever occurred look like children quabbles in a playground. What's even worse is that I know that Mother wouldn't willingly have allowed herself to…be with him...so I must be a product of rape as well…"

**As the years pass by before my face  
As wars rage before me  
Finding myself in these last days of existence  
****This parasite inside me I forced it out  
In the darkness of the storm lies an evil  
**

"I knew I was different from everyone. I always knew that. But I never anticipated it in such a way…And I struggled so desperately to try and fit in. I wanted to be normal, to be loved, and as Azar proclaimed, I was to be everybody's hero from this ultimate evil…"

**But it's me…  
**

"…only to learn that it's been me the whole time…"

**Where has my heart gone?  
An uneven trade for the real world  
Oh I, I want to go back to believing in everything  
****Oh where, where has my heart gone?  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
Oh I, I want to go back to believing in everything…**

Suddenly, Raven sensed the presence of a massive energy coming from Azar's tower and the sharp drop of another person's life source.

A very familiar person's life source at that…

"Mom?!"

**I still remember…**

And with that, Raven instantly teleported herself to Azar's tower, oblivious to the horror that was unfolding at that very moment…


	8. Chapter 8: Thoughtless

**590 hits**

**Nothing new. Simply read and review…**

* * *

CHAPTER 8

"I'm the worst mother in the history of mankind…"

Coman turned to Arella, the woman who had voiced her opinion so fluently and who was now sitting on the floor in tears. It had been about two hours since Raven's outburst, and Coman and several others had successfully cleared out the Grand Study Hall of its spectators and were currently accessing the damage done: ten completely destroyed bookcases, five partially bent scroll racks and chalkboards, three cracked tables, and countless tomes and scrolls either ripped, unfurled or simply lying on the floor. While several others worked feverishly on the repairs and clean-up (since it was easily a week's worth of work), the wise magistrate fourteen years her senior made his way over to Arella's fallen form and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Let's go for a walk," he said kindly, and after a moment's hesitation, Arella rose from the floor and followed him out of the room. The duo walked about for some time in total silence and eventually came to one of the private garden terraces of the Tower. Coman, like the gentleman he was, graciously allowed Arella to exit first and held the door. Arella blushed slightly and timidly went to find a seat on one of the wooden benches and was shortly joined by Coman after he insured that the two of them were alone.

"Please don't feel that you're to blame for all this, Arella," said Coman, after a moment of silence.

"Oh, Coman…"

"Please, Arella. It's not fair to you, and Azar and I are just as guilty. We all have been trying to protect Raven from learning something far too cruel for any child to bear, but in the end, putting it off for so long simply had the adverse effect."

Arella sighed deeply and lowered her head, allowing the hood to her robe to fall down and conceal her face.

"And of course, thanks to the tireless efforts of Magnus Oryx, things are only worse now. We of Azarath are pacifists by nature, but I ought to have a mind to go right upside that boy's head for talking about you and Raven in such a manner."

"But can you blame him?" said Arella, brushing back the hair that had fallen into her face. "I mean what he's saying is true."

"Not entirely. You weren't and will never be a whore, and although a victim of circumstances, there is a chance that Trigon can be defeated."

"It's so eerie, Coman. Standing there and listening to the children recount what had happened…It was like déjà vu and Juris was still here, only that he was speaking through Magnus."

"It's like I said before: whether male or female, young or old, rich or poor, everyone who lives in Azarath knows that violence towards others of any means is simply not tolerated. And if both the boy and his father weren't being so fanatical, they might have realized that Raven's powers are at their strongest and most dangerous when she is provoked. That's what really got Juris killed."

"Well in any event, what are we to do now? Raven knows the truth about her destiny, and knowing that she'll soon be the pawn of Trigon's …God, what are we to do?"

"Arella, Raven has reached the pinnacle of her power, and it'll be another three years until the threat of contact is at its greatest. I have no doubt than even someone as young as she is ready for the task soon to be at hand. But with the recent turn of events, Raven may be skeptical of her abilities, and that's the last thing we need now. We must simply endeavor to continue to train her, to encourage her and to help manage her temperament. If she loses hope now, then all will be lost."

He then touched Arella's chin and tilted her head up so that he could see her concealed face better from under her hood. "And the same thing goes for you. Such a face should not be weighted down by constantly thinking of the negative. Hope is the very thing that keeps us going in times like this and hope is what got you where you are today. And, if I may be so frank, I'm most grateful for that."

Arella blushed slightly. "Thank you, Coman," she said sweetly. "You've always known just what to say."

"Well, someone has to," he smiled. "There are a lot of things wrong in life. No one can overlook that. But we also need reminders from time to time of the best things in life as well.

Arella nodded and slowly rose from her seat. "Are you going to be alright now?" asked Coman.

"Yes. I'm just going to find Raven. There's a lot that we need to talk about."

"Very well. If you are in need of anything, Milady, you know where to find me."

Arella nodded and she and Coman parted ways. The slender woman then gracefully made her way up to Raven's bedroom chamber and knocked on the door. "Raven?" she called out. "Honey, I need to speak with you."

However, Arella got no answer.

"Rae-Rae?" she called once more. Still total silence.

Several knocks later and after much deliberation, Arella entered her daughter's room and found it to be unoccupied. _'Not again,'_ she thought to herself and continued on into the room. Inside, numerous books lay throughout upon the tables and the floor and a simple bed with a redwood bed frame and matching armoire were pushed up alongside of the far wall. Lining the stone walls were several scones with lit candles. Arella stopped in the center of the room and looked around nervously.

_'Mother or not, she'll probably kill me for being in here. What is it with teenagers and not wanting anyone in their room?'_

Arella then shook out the thought from her head and went about with the task at hand. Instinctively, she headed for Raven's bed and lifted the mattress, only to find a purplish rucksack underneath. Arella then took out a sealed scroll from the folds of her robe and then placed it inside of the bag. Arella found no need to rummage through the bag, because there wasn't anything of a mystery to her inside. In fact, Raven was the one to tell her about the bag in the first place. Ever since she came to live with Azar, Raven kept little mementos, such as sketches and poems and a few books and ancient manuscripts from the time she lived with Arella and Gayla up until the present day.

"Spying, Arella?" said a rumbling male voice from out of nowhere. "How very deceitful of you…"

Arella's face paled at the sound of his voice, and she whirled around in search of the source of it. "Oh good god…no…" she gasped, suddenly finding the room to be unbearably hot.

"What's wrong?" he continued. "You haven't missed me after all these years?"

"This is impossible!" Arella voiced out loud, still searching for the speaker that taunted her so.

"My dear, nothing is impossible for me…"

The room shook with a terrible groan and in a barrage of smoke, fire and sulfur, a large muscled satyr-like being with red skin and black stripes and long flowing white hair phases in front of her. He had four creepy yellow eyes and donned a grayish loincloth with a jeweled belt, steel wristbands and a brooch upon his neck. The foul mystic being emerged out of the smelly fog with a throaty growl and upon seeing Arella, smiled wickedly. This being was the very essence of evil itself: the legendary Trigon the Terrible…

"Long time, no see, my dear _angel_," he chortled. "Did you really think leaving Earth would do you any good?"

"How can you be here?! You were banished!"

"Ah, ah, ah. I _was _banished: banished from _Earth. _But any other world or dimension is exempt from the expulsion. I must admit that Azar's ancestors' plan to dispose of me was rather half-baked, and your leaving merely hindered my efforts in finding you…and the child. However, like all things, it was only a matter of time until I would catch up to you two, and after that little temper tantrum she displayed earlier..."

"Oh …no…"

"Oh, yes. It was like watching a little blimp on a radar screen. Only someone with my blood running through their veins could cause such a rush in cosmic power."

**All of my hate cannot be found  
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming**

Arella growled and dropped the rucksack onto the floor. She then kicked it out of her way and drew herself into a fighting stance. Trigon meanwhile smiled devilishly, revealing his gleaming fangs.

"And what do you call yourself doing?" he said, folding his arms. "I thought violence was barred from this world."

Arella rolled her eyes. "Sometimes when you want peace, you must prepare for war, and there's no way in hell I'm going to let you near Raven!"

**So you can try to tear me down  
Beat me to the ground, I will see you screaming **

"How very amusing. Not very smart on your part, but still, it's just as amusing."

"Bastard! You'll only take her over my dead body!"

"Now _that _can be arranged…" he grinned, cracking his knuckles. The two mortal enemies stared each other down and an uncomfortable silence filled the room. And in the back of Arella's mind, dark memories slowly began to overwhelm her…

"Daddy?" came the timid voice of a preteen girl and right before Arella, the all too-familiar form of Mr. Roth slowly began to appear.

"This isn't real…" said Arella to herself, closing her eyes. And in that moment, Arella wished she hadn't for almost instantly she was flooded with memories of her father's abuse.

"Stop messing with my mind!" she screamed. "I know it's you!" Trigon however simply laughed.

"It's amazing how much the human mind can wreak havoc on itself once long suppressed memories and fears are reintroduced," said Trigon smugly as he slowly approached the unraveling woman…

**Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies  
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down  
****I wanna see you try to take a swing at me  
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground**

Arella staggered away from Trigon, her mind in disarray from all the voices and images attacking her sanity. Everywhere she looked, she envisioned herself as a child once more and that her father was looming over her and taunting her feeble attempts to protect herself. And somewhere within the chaos and deep inside her being, something snapped within Arella. For so many years she had had the displeasure of having an abusive father and living with the all the fear and misery that came with it. But in the end, she eventually came to terms that she didn't have to stand for his actions any longer and that she had to act if things were going to change. And here, with an ultimate evil dangerously closing in on her, Arella realized that she once again was at a crossroads in her life. She could sit back and let Trigon have his way, or she could do what she could to ensure that everything and everyone that mattered most would live to tell the tale. Arella then cried out and swung out at Trigon, the haunting visions dissipating from view and with only thing on her mind:

_'I've had to endure so much because of my father, but I'll make sure that you can't do the same to Raven! And just as my mother died trying to protect me, if things must come to that, I'll await Death with open arms!'_

Trigon smiled as the woman with a newfound fire in her eyes and soul thrust her hand out and unleashed what was to be a deadly wave of energy towards him. He simply fanned it away as if it were a mere mosquito and counteracted with an attack of his own, sending Arella flying across the room and through the wall. Arella tumbled down onto a terrace directly below herself and most fortunately into a fountain whose waters broke her fall. Arella shot of the bone-chilling water with a gasp and climbed out of the fountain, only to see Trigon hovering over her, and that incessant grin plastered on his face…

"Oh come on, Angela," scoffed Trigon. "Thirteen years and you still can't hold a candle to me?"  
**  
Why are you trying to make fun of me?  
You think it's funny? What the fuck you think it's doing to me?  
You take your turn lashing out at me  
I want you crying with your dirty ass in front of me  
**  
Enraged, Arella released a volley of attacks at Trigon, who simply avoided them and counteracted with some of his own. The terrace garden slowly became decimated and eventually the fight reached the ground level of the Tower. As the battling duo crashed onto the ground floor, all those in attending ran screaming from the fray…

"It's Trigon the Terrible!"

"That heathen has brought about our death!"

"The apocalypse is nigh!"

"Someone alert Lord Argus and the Magistrate!"

Trigon chuckled at the sight of the fleeing people and after chucking Arella to the side, turned his wrath onto them. "I will have my revenge on you, people of Azarath," he bellowed, and sent rippling waves of energy at the throngs of people. "Your ancestors are the very ones to encase me in that prison, and you and all mankind are to be the ones to pay!"

Arella slowly came to and watched in horror as Trigon's attack literally sent several innocent bystanders up in flames. Several of the Royal Guards finally made their way through the stampeding crowds and boldly stormed towards Trigon. But before they could do much of anything, Trigon released another wave attack and caused all but one of the guards to fall dead at his feet. When the lone guard miraculously parried through the deadly attack, Trigon reached out and grabbed him by the neck…

**All of my hate cannot be found  
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming  
So you can try to tear me down  
Beat me to the ground , I will see you screaming**

As the guard struggled for breath, Coman and several other guards and those of the Magistrate raced into the lobby. While the others took to Trigon, Coman ran to Arella's side to help her up.

"Coman?" she said in a daze.

"Arella! Where is Raven?"

"I don't know. I was about to go look for her when Trigon showed up. He sensed Raven's outburst earlier and that's why he's finally found us."

"But _where's_ Raven!?"

"I…I don't know. I have to assume that Trigon hasn't approached her yet, for there would be no need for him to be here."

"Gods help us," murmured Coman. He then grabbed Arella by the shoulder and firmly looked into her eyes.

"You have to get Raven off of Azarath, and now! We can't chance Trigon using Raven to return to Earth."

"But I can't leave you to fight this monster alone!"

"And I can't risk letting anything happen to you!"

Coman suddenly cried out as he shot across the room and into a wall. Arella gasped and turned to find Trigon with his index finger pointed at her. He then wagged it at her and chuckled.

"I can read, hear and see all," he boomed. "You'd really think I would go through the trouble of coming here just let you whisk my portal away?"

Arella frowned and turned to Coman, who was struggling to get up. Relived that he was alright. Arella charged at Trigon once more, but was startled when he froze her in her tracks and drew her closer to him. And once again, Arella's mind slowly drifted towards yet another dark memory of the past…

_A teenaged Angela stood within a horrifying situation. It had been several weeks since she sought refuge at the Faith through Scath Christian Tabernacle, and Sister Moriah and her brothers and sisters had, much to Angela's dismay, revealed their true colors. Posing as those of good nature and heart, Moriah and her clan were fervently searching for a virgin who could be consider of purest heart for their ritual. When Angela realized that something was amiss, she ran, only to be captured and then dragged to the innermost chamber of the cathedral where the congregation and several signs of evil intentions could be seen occuring. Incantations were recited, etheral music was played, and Angela herself was tied down to an altar as if she was a mere animal offering. Not long afterwards abd with many pulsing lights and bursts of flame, a vortex opened up from the floor and a red and black striped hand emerged from below. _

"_He has returned!" screeched Moriah, and the congregation went into a frenzied uproar. Angela, like any sane person in such a situation, desperately struggled with her restraints and to escape this madness. Then suddenly, a member of the congregation cried out as he fell dead to the floor. The others stopped and looked on in confusion as the being began to speak:_

"_Foolish mortals," he thundered. His hand had ceased to exit out of the hole for a series of pulsing energy columns appeared and served as guardrails. "All caught up in your greed and scheming. If you paid nearly as much attention to the ancients writings you've consulted on the Mark of Scath as you had in retrieving a noble sacrifice, you would have realized that the spell you recited is worthless!"_

"_But sire," cried Moriah._

"_Silence, thoughtless creatures! No mortal man has the power to dispel this crest of banishment. Only a being of otherworldly descent can do so. And for your careless actions, you are to be punished!"_

_Overwhelmed by fear, Angela fainted, and in the background the piercing cries of those who betrayed her slowly faded to nothing. When she came to, Angela found herself in a strange place surrounded by a mysterious mist. How she got there would remain a mystery, since she recalled being bound to the altar before she lost consciousness, but Angela was positive that this was no improvement. All around her was a purgatory of immense darkness. There was no beginning and there was no end to the space and Angela after several minutes of running around, realized that she was trapped and with no way out. Suddenly, Angela felt the warm breath of someone along her neck and screamed as she bolted away, knowing that whoever or whatever it was had no intentions of making nice with her… _

**Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies  
I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown  
****I wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me  
And I'll pull the trigger and you're down, down, down **

_Trigon __watched amusingly as the teenaged girl tried to run away from him. He knew that it was a futile effort, for the two of them were trapped in an alternate dimension. And while he was confined to this realm, the portal that his followers had managed to conjure up would eventually reopen and allow Angela to return to Earth. But, as he mentioned, the foul demon had a trump card that would allow him to change his fate, and that would include the assistance of Angela._

_Angela stumbled for what was the umpteenth time and fell to the 'floor'. Trigon loomed over the frightened girl and smiled devilishly. _

_"You're in luck, child," he cackled. "Your life will be spared today. All in exchange for something else, something else that only you can give me..."_

_Angela looked at Trigon uneasily, her stomach growing queasy from the thought that his proposition would not be in her favor._

"_And what exactly is that?" she asked, somehow finding her voice again._

_Trigon stood over her fallen form and smiled. He then reached forth and tugged on her dress, which for a being of his power, ripped clean off of her. Angela immediately went to cover herself as best as she could and her eyes widened as Trigon uttered two simple and yet ominous words…_

"_An heir…"_

**Why are you trying to make fun of me?  
You think it's funny? What the fuck you think it's doing to me?  
You take your turn lashing out at me  
I want you crying with your dirty ass in front of me  
****All of my hate cannot be found  
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming  
So you can try to tear me down  
Beat me to the ground, I will see you screaming**

Arella awoke from the glimpse of the past and growled. She had managed to push away the memory of the rape for so many years, but at the same time, Trigon's assault on her completely marred her. Being that she in effect lost her virginity to him, Arella was very short and distrusting of any man, even Coman, whom which she in time grew to care for very much. And this she was never able to let go. Trigon then grunted as a volley of attacks streamed from Coman who was racing toward him. His grip on Arella weakened and she fell to the floor once more.

"Arella, find Raven and get yourselves out of here now!" Coman shouted. "I'll hold him off!"

"Insolent bug!" shouted Trigon and lunged at him.

"Coman!" screamed Arella.

**All my friends are gone  
****They died  
****They all screamed  
****And cried**

But Coman more than likely never heard her. Trigon was instantly upon him and with a swift sleigh of hand effortlessly managed to crush the noble man's windpipe. He then held Coman's motionless body as if it were a piece of trash and threw him at Arella's feet. As he fell to the ground, Coman's head turned so that it was facing Arella, and his normally warm and inviting blue eyes now gave a cold and lifeless stare. Arella fought back tears and tenderly closed Coman's eyes. She then turned to Trigon with a glare that would rival even Raven's and spoke a mere five words…

**Gonna take you down  
Gonna take you down  
Gonna take you down  
Gonna take you down**

"I'm going to kill you!"

**All of my hate cannot be found  
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming  
So you can try to tear me down  
Beat me to the ground , I will see you screaming  
****All of my hate cannot be found  
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming  
So you can try to tear me down  
Beat me to the ground , I will see you screaming…**

And with that, Arella lashed out at Trigon, who never seemed the least bit worried by her threat. The enraged woman repeatedly sent attack after attack on him but it had no effect on him, all the while each blow from Trigon was making her weaker and weaker.

"This was most amusing, but I grow tired of this game," Trigon said in a matter-of-fact like tone of voice. "It's time to end this!"

Arella gasped and was met with a blinding light. She never saw the attack itself, but it clearly left its mark on her. Feeling her lifeblood pour out of her was evidence enough that she was in trouble. As she stumbled to the ground and closed her eyes, a familiar voice rang in her ears…

"Mom!?"

"...Raven…"


	9. Chapter 9: I Must Be Dreaming

* * *

CHAPTER 9

"_This was most amusing, but I grow tired of this game. It's time to end this…"_

Raven appeared in the courtyard of Azar's Tower and was alarmed at the sight and smell of blood. Scattered about the neatly trimmed lawn, the pruned shrubs and the colorful assortment of flowers and plants were what appeared to be the remains of some unlucky individual.

Or was it _individuals_?

It was really hard to tell. All in all, it was a sickening sight to behold and Raven cringed as she slowly and unsurely walked about in the courtyard.

"What in the name of Azar has happened here?"

_Arella gasped and was met with a blinding light. She never saw the attack itself, but it clearly left its mark on her. Feeling her lifeblood pour out of her was evidence enough that she was in trouble… _

Raven heard the sharp cry of Arella and saw a great light emanate from inside the lobby. Not giving it a second thought, the teen raced inside, but nothing could prepare her for what laid within…

**How can I pretend that I don't see  
****What you hide so carelessly?  
****I saw her bleed**

Raven looked on in horror at the bloodbath around her, for what she had seen outside was minuscule compared to this. Everyone that she had come to know laid mangled and lifeless on the lobby of her beloved mentor's home. Coman, the only man she could trust and had called her surrogate father was 'incapacitated' to say the least. The strange mythical and terrifying being before her was most likely the infamous Trigon the Terrible: and thus _was_ her father and the very cause of all this senseless violence. More importantly, lying at his feet, and bleeding heavily from her abdomen was Arella.

**You heard me breathe  
****And I froze inside myself and turned away  
****I must be dreaming**

Raven let out a gasp. Upon hearing her, Trigon grunted and grinned wickedly.

"Raven…" gasped Arella and closed her then slowly began to turn to Raven, who was in a state of shock and stood frozen in place.

_'Raven…'_

Raven gasped and looked towards Arella.

_'Mom?'_ replied a skeptical Raven telepathically.

_'Raven… I'm glad that you could hear me. There isn't much time… for any of us, really. You have got to get out of here. If Trigon gets a hold of you…'_

_'But, but this is all so sudden!'_

_'I know, I know, and I'm sorry. I wish things didn't have to come to this.'_

_'Well w…what am I supposed to do now?!'_

_'Hurry to your room, and retrieve your rucksack. There's something in there that'll help you.'_

_'Mom…'_

_'Go now! And don't…look back'_

**We all live  
****We all die  
****That does not begin to justify you**

The mental connection between mother and daughter broke and Raven awoke from her trance to find Trigon nearly at arms length away from her. Raven screamed and subconsciously threw up her arms. When Trigon lashed out at her, a black aura shielded Raven from his grasp. Trigon recoiled back and shook his sore hand in anger, while Raven looked on in shock.

"I must say that I'm rather impressed…Raven, was it?" replied Trigon. "What a fine first impression you've made, and such a grand display of power…"

"What?"

"Oh come now, don't be coy. That fit of rage from this afternoon? It led me right to you."

It didn't seem humanly possible, but Raven grew three shades paler at hearing this. "And what an…interesting little trick of yours," he hissed, apparently referring to his hand. "But it's not going to help you. _Nothing_ can help you now and _nothing_ can stop me!"

Raven frowned and gazed upon her mother's body. She then turned and hurriedly raced away.

"But I can try!" she shouted, never looking back and phasing through the floor.

Seconds later, Raven arrived in what was left of her bedroom and quickly located the rucksack in all the debris; all the while her mind and emotions were in a tizzy, since all that she had come to know was now obsolete and her future looked hazy and bleak. And to make matters worse, she was going to have to endure all of this on her own…

**It's not what it seems  
****Not what you think  
****No, I must be dreaming  
****It's only in my mind  
****Not real life  
****No, I must be dreaming**

_'Oh Azar, what am I going to do now?!'_ thought Raven, as she frantically rummaged through the bag for something of assistance. _'What did Mom mean?'_

Raven took a deep breath and exhaled deeply. 'I've got to relax. Got to relax. Can't think of a plan Raven if you're not calm…'

The room shook tremendously, a clear indication that Trigon was fast approaching, and Raven gasped.

'_Ok, don't relax! Don't relax! Uh, run! Running is a good idea right now!'_

Raven closed the rucksack back up and promptly phased out of the room. When she phased back in, Raven found herself in the town square where it was a total scene of chaos. There were a lucky few that had somehow managed to escape the melee at Azar's Tower and had brought it upon themselves to warn the masses. And now, as Raven could clearly tell, a stampede had broken out. Raven took to the air and began to fly above and with the crowd. She hadn't gotten far when she heard a terrible rumble from behind her. When Raven and several others turned back, they looked on in fear as a side of Azar's Tower blew out and an enraged Trigon appeared in the opening. What was even more disturbing was the fact that he had in that short amount of time grew in size and instead of standing at a 'mere' nine feet tall, appeared to be at least twice if not three times that size…

And that moment is when all hell broke loose...

The crowd of onlookers went into an absolute frenzy. Vendor carts were overturned, objects flew here and there, and everyone who wasn't trampled over immediately began to race towards the outskirts of the city. "Oh God!" gasped Raven and dropped back into the crowd. She was very uncomfortable in large crowds, but she also reasoned that mingling with the crowd might make it harder for Trigon to pick up on her exact location, and therefore buy her more time to come up with a plan. When she landed, she was instantly swept up into the current of the crowd.

_'I have to keep moving, and I have to find a way to stop him!'_

Just then and somehow among all the chaos, Raven's sixth sense picked up on a person in distress. Although terrified and keen on getting to safety, Raven couldn't help but feel guilty that if it weren't for her causing Trigon to come here in the first place, Azarath wouldn't be in its current state. Setting aside her anxiety for only a moment, she quickly phased out of the crowd and elsewhere in the city…

**Help, you know I've got to tell someone  
****Tell them what I know you've done  
****I fear you, ****but spoken fears can come true**

Raven reappeared in what could be called the higher class section of the city, but just like the town square, the sector was in a state of uproar. Several hundred civilians had taken to the streets and some by horse and carriage. And there, sitting in the middle of it all was a screaming toddler, who had apparently had gotten separated from his parents amid all the chaos. Seeing that the boy was clearly at risk on being stepped on or worse, Raven quickly summoned her powers and in an instant, a black aura engulfed the baby boy. Raven then maneuvered the black sphere with its precious cargo toward her and when he was close enough, Raven dissolved it. The baby boy squealed as he landed in Raven's arms, but upon looking into Raven's stern face, started to cry even louder than ever.

"Now, now," said Raven hesitantly. She had had little dealings with other people and even more so with babies, so she was at a complete loss on what to do. "You're ok," she said and started to rock him. "Everything's going to be fine."

But her words did nothing to soothe the toddler and he continued to bawl. Just then, a rather obnoxious woman dressed in the finest in garments raced up to Raven and snatched the toddler from her arms.

"Unhand my son!" she shrieked, her blue-green eyes cutting into Raven.

"It's alright, Ma'am," replied Raven, trying to shrug off the woman's impoliteness. "I only took him to keep him from getting hurt."

"And a _splendid_ job you've done of that!" she said sarcastically. "The world's all about to come to an end thanks to the likes of you!" And with that, the woman shoved passed Raven and into the crowd.

"Hm, _some_ people…"

Raven turned to find Magnus and Ariel standing behind her and rolled her eyes.

_'Why am I being punished today?'_ she thought to herself.

"I hope you're happy with yourself!" snapped Magnus. "That monster has come to destroy us all, and now you're going to have to live with the fact that our blood is upon your hands. Why don't you…"

Magnus was cut off by a slap upside his head and turned to face Ariel who still had her hand up in the air.

"Are you stuck on stupid?!" she cried. "If you weren't going around being the prick you are, Raven wouldn't have blown her top, and therefore, Trigon wouldn't be here!"

Magnus, apparently speechless by his sister's newfound voice, fumbled for words and Raven, who seemed both hurt and grateful by her comment, lowered her head. Realizing how harsh she must have sounded, Ariel's face softened and she cleared her throat.

"So, uh, what are you doing here?"

"I fled the tower," said Raven, who reopened her bag and started to search through it. "Everyone there who could protect me is dead and everyone else _will_ _be_ dead unless I find something in here and figure out how to stop Trigon!"

Raven then stopped as a thought crossed her mind. "_Why_ are you guys still doing here?"

"We got separated from our traveling party, who by now is probably half-way out of the city. A lot of good that'll do us, though. Trigon is ruining everything in his path. Even if we got out of the heart of Azarath, where would we go from there? The only real means of escape would be to leave Azarath altogether, and only a few of us know spells to travel from dimension to dimension. But, at a time like this…"

"People start showing their true colors," said Magnus, finally finding his own voice. "I doubt that many of those who do know the spells will be considerate enough to help others to escape… A lot of people are going to end up dying today..."

"But not you," replied Raven.

Magnus and Ariel turned to look at her.

"What?"

"You're not going to die. I found it."

"Found what?"

Raven then pulled out an unfurled scroll and turned it to the brother and sister. "Do you recognize this?"

Magnus took the scroll from Raven's hands and studied it, while Ariel read over his shoulder.

"It's one of Coman's scrolls," said Ariel in disbelief.

"Exactly. I studied with Coman intimately for several years, and he had a number of spells and experience in traveling from dimension to dimension. And this particular one here is the one he used to help bring my mother from Earth to Azarath."

Ariel's eyes sparkled. "So, there's a chance we can escape this alive?"

"Yes, but according to this, we would have to go to the exact location where Coman and my mother arrived here. And we have to hurry. I'm sure Trigon has discovered me by now and is well on his way here."

"But…what about our family?"

Raven looked at Ariel, whose eyes seemed to plead with Raven and then at Magnus, who looked very curious to see how Raven would respond to this development.

"We can't leave without insuring that my mother and grandparents are safe!"

Raven sighed. "Paper and quill," she simply replied.

Magnus and Ariel raised an eyebrow. "Paper…and…quill," she reiterated, in a much firmer tone. Magnus stuttered and fumbled through his bag and quickly took out the requested items. Raven nodded and used her powers to cause the scroll to float in midair. She then took the paper and quill and set off to copying the spell. Minutes later, Raven gave the fresh document to Magnus, who cradled it in his hands.

"Here," said Raven. "Find your family and take them to the field just outside where Azar was buried. Follow these instructions to the letter, and all should be well."

"And just what do you plan on doing?" asked Magnus.

"I have to make the journey alone. I can lead Trigon away and buy you some time. It's me he's chasing after all. But you two _have_ to be quick about it! If he catches you, he will not give it a second thought to spare you."

And with that, Raven phased out of view. But, it was all too soon. Had she remained but only for a few seconds more, she would have heard a short and almost silent comment:

"Thank you…Raven…"

**We all live  
****We all die  
****That does not begin to justify you  
****It's not what it seems (Not what it seems)  
****Not what you think (Not what you think)  
****No, I must be dreaming (I must be dreaming)  
****It's only in my mind (Just in my mind)  
Not real life (Not real life)  
****No, I must be dreaming (I must be dreaming)**

When she reappeared, Raven found herself a few hundred yards from Azar's grave. She rushed over to the edge of the cliff and from it, Raven had a good view of the city of Azarath. In the distance, the sky was of a fiery red-orange, since it reflected both the flames now ravishing the city and the air was filled with the anguished cries of the countless innocent ones Raven simply could not save. "I really hope that there isn't life after death," said Raven, facing Azar's gravestone. "Because I would hate for you to see what my carelessness has done to our home. What has taken you and your family centuries to achieve has gone up in smoke in a matter of minutes. And it's all because of me…"

**We all live  
****We all die  
****That does not begin to justify you**

Raven looked on worriedly when she heard the faint shout of Trigon and saw him in the distance speedily making his way toward her. She then gulped and a bead of sweat trickled down the side of her head as she hurriedly prepared for the spell, knowing that her very life depending on her getting it right and that she only had one shot at it. Raven took her foot and drew in a nearby dirt patch the image of a crest looking very similar to the one that Coman and Arella had to pass through on their journey to Azarath. When she finished, Raven put on her rucksack, sat down into a lotus position, and closed her eyes.

"Gayla… Coman…Azar… Mother… I'm so sorry…" She then took a deep breath and began to utter the spell.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos...Carazon Rakashas Endere..."

"Wretched girl!" he bellowed.

As she spoke, a familiar flash of bluish light began to surround her and soon a cylinder-like aura enveloped her. Realizing what was about to happen, Trigon increased his speed and began to close in on Raven…

"You cannot prevent the inevitable!"

"Vaserix Endrien…" she continued, as a swirling vortex of light opened up overhead.

**It's not what it seems (Not what it seems)  
****Not what you think (Not what you think)  
****No, I must be dreaming (I must be dreaming)  
****It's only in my mind (Just in my mind)  
Not real life (Not real life)  
****No, I must be dreaming (I must be dreaming)**

"Terra matris …Terra matris …TERRA MATRIS!"

With that, Raven floated off of the ground and towards the vortex. She turned back to see Trigon shouting at her and the burning remains of her beloved Azarath. As she disappeared into the portal, Trigon roared in anger, for his daughter, his portal and his only means of total conquest had managed to escape right through his very fingers.

That is, at least for now…

_**Not what it seems  
**__**Not what you think  
**__**I must be dreaming  
**__**Just in my mind  
**__**Not real life  
**__**I must be dreaming…**_

_

* * *

_

**FYI:**_** Terra matris**_**, (if I translated it correctly), is Latin for "Mother Earth".**


	10. Chapter 10: Weight of the World

**Whew! Got so excited with how well this story's going, I totally forgot to mention the hit count in the last chapter. So as of now, SOML has received a total of 780 hits.**

**In other news, some folks have inquired about what exactly did I based Raven's origin on. In part, her origin is compiled from some facts and trivia from the comic book series (dating back to the mid 60's, not the comics based on the 2003-2006 animated series) courtesy of Wikepedia and TitansTower. Everything else I really had to guess at and recreate for the sake of the story and to line up with the lyrics. And in regards to the Titans themselves, don't worry. They'll finally cross paths with Raven in Chapter 11.**

**Oh, and as before, please read and review…**

* * *

CHAPTER 10

Raven found herself sitting in a public library within Jump City. She had only been on Earth for about a month, and in that short window of time she was dumbfounded by everything this new world had to offer. There were devices of science and technology that she had never imagined to exist, and the foods, customs and cultures were surprisingly similar to those of the people of Azarath. And the number of people! Why, the very number of people Raven saw in Jump City easily outnumbered the entire population of Azarath!

Yes, this 'Earth' was truly a fascinating place to behold. But at the same time, Raven had also begun to see why her mother, as well as the people of Azarath had forsaken it. She discovered that some parts of the world were simply far too dangerous for any man to live, such as her starting point in Gotham City. Raven also learned that despite the many progresses in science, medicine and technology, many people still suffered from poverty, pestilence and hunger. Then there were those who were so greedy, heartless and manipulative, they would bring ruin to others and the environment to get whatever they wanted. As a matter of fact, it seemed like the majority of people Raven met were most unpleasant – very impatient and ill-tempered. If she had to compare some of them to Magnus, in Raven's mind her would have appeared as a noble gentleman, the type who would willingly throw down his coat to allow a lady to cross a troublesome mud puddle.

Yes, what a scary thought indeed. But it was also something that was painfully true, and as Raven sat all alone in the nonfiction section, she was at a loss on what to do or where to go from here. She was rather exhausted from her long journey, and she was becoming rather depressed because of her current circumstances. She had drifted for weeks from city to city, from east of the States to the west, desperately looking and hoping for some means of refuge. But all of this was to no avail. Each promising lead soon led to a dead end and here she was at the very brink to having a serious nervous breakdown.

Raven slammed the book she was reading closed and promptly marched out of the library. It was getting rather late anyway – it was almost 8:00 - and she still needed to find a place to crash for the night. Making sure to stay incognito, Raven drifted among the shadows of Jump City in search of a place to camp for the night. As she floated along, Raven noted that this city in particular seemed to favor young people, for there were many arcades, cafes, fast-food restaurants and other 'hotspots' lining the streets where teens and young adults could hang out. Eventually, Raven came to a local park and found a park bench shaded by a grand willow tree. She quickly made herself comfortable and in minutes she fell into deep slumber…

"Hey you! Up n' at 'em!"

Raven awoke about an hour later to something poking her in her side and to something shining brightly in her face. When she sat up, she stared into the cold eyes of a police officer holding a nightstick. His partner was standing opposite of him holding a flashlight and was monitoring her every move.

"Move along, young lady," he barked. "You can't stay here."

Raven glared at him. _'I'd love to give you a real reason to complain,' _said something inside of her.

"Honestly, Miss," said the other officer. "This part of town isn't safe at night, let alone for a girl who's on her own. And I'm certain your parents must be worried about you."

Raven cringed at hearing this. Then without another word, she quickly departed from the park bench and raced out of the park before the policemen could get in another word. Raven ran until she was back in the commercial part of Jump City. As she neared a condemned building, she noticed that some of the boards to the ground floor windows appeared loose. Raven sighed, but then set off to maneuvering the planks until she gained access. Inside, the building was dark, cold, and dank. It appeared to be an old robot assembly factory, and the air smelled of iron and soot. Reasoning that she would be warmer on the higher levels of the factory, Raven floated onto one of the catwalks and collapsed onto her knees.

"So, this is what it's come to," she said to herself. "I'm spending the night in a cold, abandoned factory with no means to support myself and with no ideas as to defeat Trigon."

She then flopped over onto her back so that she was staring up at the ceiling.

"I'm so weak…"

"That's because you're allowing petty human inclinations control you…"

Raven sighed and rolled her eyes. "Not again," she moaned.

Ever since her exile from Azarath, Raven was constantly beleaguered by voices. Others from the outside looking in at her would have diagnosed her as insane or schizophrenic but in truth, Raven knew that this was caused by her unusual powers. Along with the telepathy, empathy, and telekinesis, Raven also had the rare gift of being able to converse with her very own emotions and personalities. And as of late, she was often visited by what could be referred to as her dark side, her wrath, and all of her rage in its purest form...

"You don't know what you're talking about," Raven said to herself.

"You should've blown those inferior men to kingdom come!"

"I'm not listening to this…" said Raven covering her ears as if that would really help.

"You know it would have been very easy for you to do. After all, you've done it before…"

"Shut up!"

"Why deny it, Raven? It's in your blood…"

"Quiet!"

"Darkness…hatred…death and destruction… you crave it, and you live for it…"

"Oh, Azar! Make her stop!"

"Listen to yourself. 'Make _her_ stop?' I _am _you. And I will always _be_ a part of you…"

Raven sat up abruptly and panted. Her eyes then fell upon the rucksack lying over by her feet.

"Not for long…"

Raven then opened up a secret compartment in the rucksack and took out a heavy wrought iron hand mirror. However, this was no ordinary mirror. It was as Coman called it, a meditation mirror, given to her as a gift. Coman reasoned that such a gift was necessary for Raven to control her emotions in times of stress, and this proved most helpful shortly after Azar's passing. Raven sternly gazed into the mirror and upon her reflection. Suddenly two pairs of glowing red eyes superimpose themselves onto her reflection. They soon vanish and a wave of red and black energy shot straight up from the mirror, shaping itself into an arm. Undaunted by all of this, Raven gently sets the mirror down on the catwalk and allowed the 'arm' to take hold of her, and she disappeared into a vortex of dark energy…

When Raven resurfaced, she found herself in the space known as the depths of her mind. It resembled something that you would probably see in a science fiction movie. Raven stood on a sizeable island floating in an infinite space, and the sky was of a celestial midnight blue and purple hue with numerous stars twinkled in the background. And there, floating quite aways off from Raven and circling her little island was a round stone pathway, and positioned every few hundred feet was a massive door. In total, there were eight of these doors.

Raven calmly watched as a cloaked figure phased in front of her. It was a teenaged girl, who surprisingly looked just like her. The only difference was that her shoes and cloak were of a bright yellow and that she wore glasses. She was in essence Raven's intelligence and common sense, and in all respects, her very sanity. And Raven was most relived that it was the most sensible of all her emotions that she would meet first.

"Salutations," said Intelligence. "I deduced that you would be visiting soon, since things are becoming rather disruptive in here and I can't maintain order."

"So I've noticed. Can you assemble the others here? There's something of great importance that I need to discuss with you all."

"As you wish," said the yellow doppelganger, pushing her sliding glasses back toward the bridge of her nose. She then assumed a lotus position and began to mediate. The red gemstone upon her forward began to glow, and slowly but surely, other facets of Raven's mind began to appear. The first was a pink clad 'Raven' and she represented Raven's joy and happiness. She bounded towards Raven enthusiastically and gave her the mother of all bear hugs.

"Hey, Rae-Rae!" she chirped. She was practically glowing and was grinning from ear to ear. "It's so good to see you again! I haven't seen you in awhile."

"I wonder why…" said Raven, rolling her eyes. Just then, two more sides of Raven's personality appeared. One was clad in green and stood proudly with her hands on her hips while the other was dressed in gray and seemed quite nervous to be standing in such a crowd. They were without a doubt Raven's bravery and timidity.

_"_Yeah! A group huddle!" cried Bravery. "So what's the sitch, Boss?"

"I rather wait until everyone is here," said Raven. Bravery pouted and folded her arms.

"This sucks," she said and turned to face the doors. "Hey you, slow-mos! Move it! Don't make me come in there to get you!"

As Bravery prattled on, Happiness giggled at her boldness, while Timidity stood off to the side by herself. "I m-must have done something wrong," she was heard at one point saying to herself. Just then, three more sides of Raven's personality appeared. One was dressed in purple, and she smiled lightly when she saw the others. The second was dressed in brown, and surprising enough, she seemed more skittish that Timidity. This was made even more apparent when she screamed and jerked her cloak away from the third emotion: an orange-clad Raven who was slovenly in appearance. She had apparently dozed off while leaning up against her brown counterpart and had proceeded to drool.

"You cretin!" she screeched. "Now I'm going to have to disinfect this."

"What's this about croutons?" said the orange-clad Raven lazily.

"I said _'cretin'_, you ignoramus!"

"That's not nice," said Happiness, who was still smiling. "Sloth looks nothing like a hippopotamus!"

That did it. Before Raven even knew it, almost everyone was talking at once. The purple-clad emotion, Raven's affection and love was standing in between Happiness and Neurotic, the brown-clad Raven, who was desperately clawing and trying to get to Happy. Bravery stood behind Neurotic egging her on. Sloth had taken it upon herself to go back to sleep and had ventured over to Timidity's corner, who because of all the bickering was now practically hysterical. Raven moaned and turned to Intelligence who awoke from her trance.

"Good heavens, what's all this now?"

"Complete and utter chaos. And surprisingly, my rage hasn't surfaced yet."

"Typical. She always likes to provoke people and then refuses to come out when summoned. I was going to persist, but I couldn't concentrate with all of this clamor."

"No need to. She'll rear her ugly head soon enough."

Intelligence nodded and Raven turned to her still arguing emotions. "HEY!" she screamed, loud enough to wake even the dead. The room fell silent and everyone turned to her.

"Front and center," she said sternly, walking to the center of the island. "I didn't gather you here to watch you fight with each other."

The other emotions grumbled to themselves (although Happiness giggled and Timidity sniffled), and each of them promptly went to stand in their assigned place in a circle. Timidity meekly went to stand in between Neurotic and Intelligence, while Happy skipped over to her place between Intelligence and Affection. Bravery went in between Affection and Sloth, and Sloth strolled over to stand beside Bravery. The circle of emotions was all but complete, but Raven decided to proceed anyway.

"Ladies, we have a serious problem here," she started. "One that I've been trying to control for all my life... I've finally come to terms about my heritage and that because of such; I was born with special abilities…"

"Then why is this meeting even being held?"

The others turned to the source of the voice. Hovering in the space between the island and the walkway to the doors was a red-cloaked Raven, who grinned maliciously.

"Find your place, Rage" said Raven. "I will explain myself then."

Rage scoffed and 'stood' her ground. Timidity and Neurotic looked on uneasily at this act of defiance, while Intelligence and Bravery looked at Rage exasperated. Raven rolled her eyes, since she was clearly not in the mood to go into it with her evil side (at least not right now anyway). Therefore she simply ignored her and continued to speak…

**Feels like the weight of the world  
Like God in Heaven gave me a turn **

"In any event, as of late, things have reached a breaking point. I allowed myself to get carried away by your 'influence', and because of this…"

"By _our _influence?" quipped Bravery. "You need to be directing that to the messenger of death over there."

"What was that?!" bellowed Rage, her eyes quickly turning crimson.

"You deaf or something? You're the one…"

"Girls, please," said Affection tenderly. "Let Raven finish."

The two emotions stopped quarreling. Raven nodded, giving her thanks to Affection for diffusing the situation and continued.

"To be blunt, your power over me is having rather adverse effects on what happens in the real world. And now, not only am I most likely banned from Azarath forever, but now I'm on the very planet I'm destined to destroy."

**Don't cling to me  
I swear I can't fix you  
Still in the dark, can you fix me?**

"Permission to speak?" asked Timidity, raising a hand. Raven nodded, and the meek emotion slowly lowered her hand.

"So, what exactly does this suggest for all of us? R-restrictions?"

"In a word, yes…"

The other emotions begin to murmur to one another lowly, and Intelligence was the first to speak.

"Restrictions? Certainly, there has to be another way."

"I'm at the end of my rope here. And you know the drill: the more I feel, the more power I unleash. I'm already walking on eggshells here and I can't risk Trigon finding me again."

**Freefall, freefall  
All through life  
****If you love me  
Then let go of me  
I won't be held down  
by who I used to be  
She's nothing to me**

The majority of the emotions present looked on sadly and understandably. Rage, Bravery and Intelligence however were at all not pleased by this news. "Raven, I strongly advise against this," Intelligence said. "If you totally block us off, it can have just as bad an effect if you let us flow freely. In some ways, what you're suggesting is far worse."

"The bookworm's right," said Bravery. "Hiding like a coward from the things you feel won't work. No offense, Timidity."

"T-that's alright," said Timidity, fidgeting with her cape.

**Feels like the weight of the world  
Like all my screaming has gone unheard**

"Well I say that this is the way we ought to go," snapped Raven, who was getting a headache. "You all will have to be isolated, assigned a new domain which you are to stay in at all times, and you will have limited control over my actions. This way, I can stay undetected here on Earth while I figure out a loophole or a solution for this alleged prophecy hovering over my head."

"Well… if this is what you want," said Affection sadly. "I won't stand in the way."

Timidity nodded, and Sloth rolled her eyes. Apparently, she was both indifferent and annoyed by Raven's decree, but she also knew well enough that she really had no choice and had to go along with the others. Meanwhile, Neurotic was looking as if she was having convulsions from all the stress and Happiness actually looked a little depressed.

**And oh, I know you don't believe in me  
Safe in the dark, how can you see?**

Raven turned to face each of her opposing three emotions. While it appeared that she had the majority backing her, there was no way she could set out to place the blockade. It had to be a unanimous decision.

"You're awfully quiet over there," said Raven to Rage.

"Go to hell," she hissed.

"You first."

"I'm still not going for this," said Bravery, stomping her foot. "I guess I'm the only one _brave_ enough here to take a stand against this."

"You're not being brave," retorted Raven. "You're being stupid. Stupid and impulsive. If I let you all have your way, Trigon will be able to contact me and then the end will come for sure. I may have failed my mother and my mentors, and all the people of Azarath, but I'll be damned if I let it happen again. You think I'm looking forward to this?! I'll basically be a hollow shell after all this, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to take for the good of all."

Bravery was silent, taken aback from Raven's outburst. Intelligence looked to be in deep thought. Rage continued to sulk and hovered in her one spot. Eventually, she glided over to the island and joined the others, finally taking her place in between Neurotic and Sloth.

"I'll go along for the ride," she cackled. "Just for the hell of it. This will be an interesting bout to watch."

"This is not a game, Rage" said Raven. "In the long run, my actions here today will benefit us all."

"In the long run, rage will consume you whole…"

**Freefall, freefall  
All through life**  
**If you love me  
then let go of me  
I won't be held down  
By who I used to be  
**

Raven frowned and turned back to Bravery and then Intelligence. "Well?" she said.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" asked Intelligence. "Is this really what you want?"

"You of all people should understand where I'm coming from."

Intelligence sighed and once again, she pushed back her sliding glasses back to the bridge of her nose. She then nodded. All eyes at that moment turned to Bravery. Feeling very much like a fish out of water, Bravery's eyes nervously darted around the room. On occasion, she would glare at the others, but when her eyes met with Raven's, all of the pride, confidence and courage she felt within seemed to vanish.

"You're the only one left," said Raven. "And you're the only one standing in the way."

Bravery frowned at her. "And you'll be the only one standing off to the side watching life pass you by. But if you want to blow _us_ off at _your_ time of need, be my guest."

**If you love me  
then let go of me  
I won't be held down  
By who I was**

Raven sighed. Next to Rage, Bravery always felt that she had to get the last word in. Raven then crossed her arms in front of herself as a sudden gust of wind began to blow. Her eyes began to glow white, and slowly, Raven and all of her emotions rose into the air hovering several feet above the ground. The eight emotions started to spin around Raven, and steadily increased in speed, moving faster and faster until they appeared to be a blur of colors. In the background, the changes from Raven's decision were becoming evident. The pathway and the doors leading to each of the individual emotion's realms began to crumble and fall into oblivion. The island in which the nine once stood turned into an asteroid-like rock, and the sky went from a mystifying blue-purple to a murky crimson-black. Elsewhere in the realm, individual asteroids of varying shape and size began to litter the space and on top of the five largest asteroids, a large stone archway appeared. The swirling vortex of emotions suddenly broke in four groups, and Happiness and Affection were hastily swept into one archway (which apparently concealed a portal of some sort), while Intelligence and Sloth were swept into the second, Bravery and Timidity into the third and Neurotic and Rage into the fourth. Raven then gracefully landed in front of the last stone archway and watched as it slowly transformed into a stone like door. Raven touched the door and it morphed to reveal a portal.

**If you love me  
then let go of me  
I won't be held down  
By who I used to be…**

"God, I hope I've done the right thing," she said to herself and disappeared into the vortex. When she resurfaced, Raven found herself back on the catwalk. Exhausted both mentally and physically, Raven stretched out on the gritty metal surface and slowly closed her eyes.

"Perhaps this won't be so bad", she said to herself, although now she sounded unusually monotonous in tone. "I've pretty much spent all my life on my own, and I already feel empty on the inside. So now, my emotions can reflect that. I don't need a family to raise me and I don't need friends to watch my back."

Suddenly, a deafening roar followed by the sounds of crashing and people screaming could be heard from outside. Raven shot up and looked towards a nearby plated window. It was covered in dirt and dust and Raven could only make out an eerie green glow coming from outside.

"Dear Azar! Has he found me after all?"


	11. Chapter 11: Where Will You Go?

**870 hits…**

**In regards to the previous chapter, I got the breakdown of Raven's emotions and personalities from the Wikipedia, but then I changed a few things that didn't work for me (IE: Originally, the brown cloaked Raven was supposed to represent fear, and 'Timidity' as we already know is pretty meek and fearful of others already. I didn't want two emotions that were virtually identical, so I reassigned 'Fear' and changed her into 'Neurotic'.) **

**Anyway, please read and review…**

* * *

CHAPTER 11

As the sun peeked over the horizon, Raven stood along the shoreline of a lone island in the middle of Jump City Bay. Standing beside her were three teenaged boys. The first was a couple of inches taller than Raven and looked to be maybe a year or two older than her. He had spiky jet black hair and wore a black mask that concealed his eyes. His costume was 'interesting' to say the least. He wore green gloves and tight-like pants, a yellow cape, and some heavy-looking combat boots with steel toes. Completing his ensemble was a sporty utility belt, and a red vest with the letter 'R' embossed onto it in yellow and black. The second boy had green skin, green eyes, green hair and elfish ears. He looked to be about Raven's age, (if not a year younger) and was much shorter than the first boy (in fact, he was even shorter than Raven.) He wore a black and magenta purple outfit with matching boots and gloves. The third boy was the tallest of all of them, he definitely stood at least at six feet . He had a chocolate complexion and was bald. He was also primarily composed of bluish computerized circuits and gray and white metallic parts. He also had a metal plate in his head and one of his gray eyes was replaced by a robotic eye.

"That's quite a view," said Raven. And it was a spectacular view. The island was just in the right spot to overlook much of the city which had about nine hours ago faced a great threat…

_Late last night, a loud crash and the sound of people running for their lives had roused Raven from her sleep. After much debating on whether to investigate or not, Raven eventually ventured outside to see what all the commotion was about. And it was then when she met a strange girl. She had an orange complexion, crimson red hair, and strangely enough, emerald green eyes _and_ sclera. She was also dressed in a black battle suit-like outfit with armored undergarments and metal-colored accents. Completing her look was a matching face-framing crown on top of her head. The girl, (who after reading her thoughts Raven learned was actually an alien called Koriand'r) was a prisoner of war and was actually en route to her captors' home planet. Koriand'r had managed to escape her cell, but was burdened by the heavy duty restraints that bounded her arms and hands. She then set off to looking for ways to remove the shackles, but in her frightened and angered state, she mostly succeeded in just demolishing half of downtown Jump City. Koriand'r's rampage eventually drew out two superheroes of Earth: Robin, the Boy Wonder, and Beast Boy, a former member of a superhero team called Doom Patrol. The ruckus also drew out a local boy by the name of Vic, although after seeing his cybernetic parts, Beast Boy aptly nicknamed him 'Cyborg.' In time, the boys learned the real purpose for Koriand'r's destruction, and Robin with the help of his handy tool belt, freed the captive alien. _

_Of course, like most tales of chivalry and derring-do, shortly after crossing paths with Koriand'r, her captors, an alien race called the Gordanians, appeared in Jump City to reclaim their 'prize'. Raven and the others were easily able to ward off several waves of invading Gordanian troops, but at the same time they also succeeded in angering their leader, Trogaar. He bitterly declared that he would now destroy the city for their insolence, and the destruction would be due to the massive laser canon docked on the Gordanians' warship. However, Trogaar never counted on the idea that Raven and the others, despite their differences would band together to stop him. His troops were scattered, the doomsday device was destroyed, and all of Jump City was saved…_

"Yeah," said Cyborg, nodding his head to Raven's comment. "Somebody oughta build a house out here."

"Yeah, if you like sunshine and the beach," quipped Beast Boy, the shortest of them all. He playfully elbowed Raven in her side and she laughed softly.

"You know, you're kind of funny," she smiled.

"You think I'm funny? Dude! I know some jokes!"

_'Dear Azar what have I just done?'_ thought Raven to herself, looking at Beast Boy nervously.

"Please," said a gentle female's voice from behind them. The others turned to see Koriand'r. Raven had forgotten how tall she was– only a few inches shorter than Cyborg - and she now wore a violet outfit with lavender accents that exposed her arms and midriff. She also wore an armband and long matching violet boots that came up to her thighs.

"I look…nice?" she asked.

"I still don't know your name," said Robin, the boy with the spiky black hair.

"In your language, it would be 'Star Fire.'"

"Welcome to Earth, Starfire."

"I thank you all for your bravery and help, and I wish to ask permission…to remain here, where the people are most strange, but also most kind."

The two blushed at this last statement and Raven shrugged her shoulders.

"You don't need our permission."

"But if you want our friendship, you've got it," replied Robin.

"Guess we could all use some new friends," said Cyborg.

"Besides, we kind of made a good team," said Beast Boy.

"I thought we might want to keep in touch," said Robin, fishing in his utility belt. "So Cyborg and I designed these..."

He opened his hands to reveal three round yellow devices. They were apparently communicators of some sort and Raven, Beast Boy and Starfire each took one.

"Made 'em outta my own circuits," said Cyborg, proudly.

"And when there's trouble," said Robin. You know who to call."

The three nodded. Robin returned the nod and raised a fist towards Cyborg. Cyborg smiled and met his fist with one of his, and Robin started to walk away. Just then, the communicator attached to his belt went off. Puzzled, he took it out and opened it.

"Excitement!" squealed a familiar voice. "The tiny circle that resembles the sun has made contact!"

Robin smiled and turned around. Starfire had used her communicator to call him and was happily waving at him. Robin walked back over to the group to find Beast Boy and Cyborg now talking to one another and Raven standing off to the side observing everyone.

"Robin, If I may…" said Starfire, floating a few inches off the ground.

"Sure, go ahead."

**You're too important for anyone  
There's something with everything you see**

"I am confused for I have no residence. Where will I stay, and what actions do I perform to support myself?"

Robin was at a lost of words. What _was_ she to do and _where_ was she to go?

"Well, you could hang out with me and Cy!" said Beast Boy. "We can all be roomies!"

"Glorious!" beamed Starfire, clapping her hands.

"Hold on, hold on," said Robin. "Where exactly _are _you guys staying?"

Beast Boy stopped and turned to look at Cyborg, who shrugged. "I had a falling out with my dad, several weeks ago and I left home. Been pretty much out on the streets ever since. I just invited Beast Boy along so I could have some company."

Beast Boy's ears drooped. "Yeah. Besides, the going solo as a teen superhero isn't exactly going according to how I planned."

"You're a _teenager_?"

"Yes I'm a teen…in about five months..."

Raven rolled her eyes. "So… basically we all have no where to go," said Robin.

The others nodded.

"Well, then… maybe we should stick together."

"What happened to you 'not really looking to join a team?' "said Cyborg, referring back to Robin's resolution from when they initially met.

"A lot has changed in the past few hours. Plus, there's safety in numbers. If we stick together, we could probably figure out a means for food, money and shelter. In fact, let's go see if we can find something to eat. My treat."

Starfire giggled and flew beside Robin, who once again started to walk off. Cyborg and Beast Boy cheered and raced off behind them. Robin then stopped and turned back. There, still standing in the same spot as before was Raven, who was staring down at her reflection in the water.

"Raven," he called, and she looked up at him. "You want to come with us?"

**But I, I know who you really are  
You're the one who cries when you're alone**

Raven narrowed her eyes and lowered her head once more.

"No, thank you. I think I'll just be going now." She then slowly but gracefully took to the air and started to glide away from the island.

"Come on, Raven," called Beast Boy.

"Join us for the partaking of Earthly gastronomy!" chirped Starfire.

Raven stopped, but didn't dare to look back.

"I really shouldn't," said Raven, her voice slightly wavering.

Robin looked on sadly. "We'd really like the company…" he said demurely.

Raven was so relieved that her back was still turned and that her hood was up, for her cheeks were now of a healthy reddish hue. After she had composed herself, she turned back to face them. Raven drifted back over to Robin, who smiled lightly at her.

**Where will you go  
With no one left to save you from yourself  
You can't escape, you can't escape **

"So, where are we off to?" she said, trying to sound as serious and levelheaded as possible.

"No clue. But let's get back to town and walk around a bit. We're bound to run into something that's open this time of day."

Raven nodded and began to summon up some of her powers to teleport the group from the island. Suddenly, Beast Boy grabbed her by the hand.

"No!" Raven looked at him as if he'd gone mad.

"Please- if it's alright with you – I'd rather not travel that way."

Raven nodded, forgetting that the last time she had done this was when the five of them infiltrated the Gordanians' ship, and that at that time it made Beast Boy rather uncomfortable.

"Then how do _you _suppose we get to the mainland?" she asked.

Beast Boy smiled and quickly morphed into a pterodactyl. With a screech, he took off into the air and began circling the island. "Showoff," said Cyborg. Starfire however was elated by the spectacle.

"Wonderful! He remembers me of the Xineohp beast back on my home planet."

"So? How are the rest of us getting to shore? You and Raven are the only others here who…"

Before he could finish the sentence, Starfire was lifting him off the ground by his arm.

"Oh…" was all he could say at first. "Well, I've always wanted to fly. Lead the way, Star!"

Starfire giggled and took off into the air. Beast Boy cawed and set off behind them. Robin then took Raven by the hand, who was caught completely off guard by this light point of contact.

"Guess it's just us," he said. "Shall we?"

Raven nodded dumbly, and like Starfire, she took to the air with her passenger…

**However did you manage to push away  
From every living thing you come across?**

A short time later, the gang came upon a local 24-hour hamburger joint and were greedily eating away. Here, they learned firsthand about Beast Boy's opposition to meat and Cyborg's obsession with it, and thus the first of what was to be many of the infamous 'meat eater vs. vegan' battles began. Fortunately, Robin intervened before things got too ugly, and suggested to Beast Boy to try the soy burger. Content, Beast Boy agreed and also had a side salad. Cyborg basically took everything on the menu that was meat (though how a person who is essentially circuits, wires and metal could actually process food and drink was and probably would always remain a mystery). Starfire was rather unsure about the menu, so she simply sampled some things of Robin's: a cheeseburger with fries, an apple pie and a soda. And Raven simply had a small cup of yogurt and a bottle of water…

"Light eater, huh?" said Robin, who realized that Raven was being exceptionally quiet.

"I never ate real heavy meals back home."

Robin nodded and drummed his fingers on the table. Elsewhere, Starfire, who had finished eating, floated over to examine the arcade. Beast Boy and Cyborg not long afterwards hurried over to join her, leaving the two by themselves.

"So what's on your mind?" inquired Raven, breaking the silence that had come over them. She was happy that Robin had remained with her, but a part of her was skeptical for his choice in doing so.

"Well, I was thinking that we all worked great together as a team," started Robin. "And my research has shown that this town could always use some extra help with fighting crime. I'm thinking of approaching the city officials to see about getting funding and materials to start a superhero team here."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "Well, kudos to you. And good luck…"

"That's not all. I'd really be honored if you would join the team."

Raven's face grew blank, and she turned away from him.

"Like I said before, Robin. I'm not really the hero type. So I'm afraid I'll have to decline your invitation."

**So afraid that anyone will hate you  
You pretend you hate them first**

It was Robin's turn to raise an eyebrow in question. "Raven…" he started.

"Please don't," she said calmly. "It's better this way. My powers are unpredictable, and I would be more harm than good. Besides, before I came here, I did something…terrible, and I wouldn't feel comfortable playing the part of a hero with what has happened hovering over my head."

**But where will you go  
With no one left to save you from yourself  
You can't escape the truth**

Robin nodded. "I know where you're coming from. I've…hit some rough spots in my past as well. That's part of the reason why I'm here now."

Raven turned back to him, surprised that they had something in common.

"But we also can't always let our past control our future. No one's perfect, Raven."

Raven winced as an image of her mother's kind face came into her mind.

"Raven?" called Robin to her. Raven shook her head and turned her attention back to him.

"I'm fine. I was just thinking of someone."

"Oh… Well, keep in mind what I said. Despite what you think, you're not a bad person. Bad people don't help others in need and expect nothing in return, and that's clearly what you did last night…"

Raven thought to herself. Perhaps he did have a point. After all, how many people would willingly take on a formidable invading alien race who threatened to destroy an entire city simply because you had saved a fugitive of theirs from being recaptured? Only a scant four, and according to Robin, she was one of them…

**I realize you're afraid  
But you can't refrain from everything  
You can't escape  
You don't want to escape**

"I will think about it," she said finally. She pulled up her hood, rose from her seat and brushed past him.

"Thanks for the meal."

"No problem. And you take care of yourself…"

* * *

**I am so sick of speaking words that no one understands  
Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone  
I can hear you when you whisper  
But you can't even hear me screaming**

A few months had passed and over on the island in Jump City Bay, construction was well under way. It seemed that Robin was able to influence the city to donate funds to support the founding of the group of super teens, and they were currently building their new headquarters. Cyborg had drawn up the schematics of the building and was also in charge of the security and technological features. Robin supervised the building work and had made some helpful suggestions of his own, like the incorporation of a training room and outdoor training field. Beast Boy and Starfire, who also agreed to join the team, were happily busy following instructions. And often hiding off in the shadows watching them work diligently was Raven…

_'Robin has no idea what he would be getting him and the others into if I joined,' she thought one afternoon. 'Does he really think I have what it takes to be a hero?'_

"No one is born a hero, child…"

_'Azar?'_

"Heroes are made… and you, wherever you realize it or not, have the makings of one…"

Azar's voice faded into the wind and Raven took out the communicator given to her by Robin. She rubbed her fingers across its smooth surface, pondering on both Azar and Robin's thoughts of her…

**And where will you go  
With no one left to save you from yourself  
You can't escape the truth**

"Hey guys, what do you think of a name for our team?" said Cyborg. The gang was currently taking a break outside of the building, which was about three quarters completed.

"Ooh! From this day forth, we shall be known as the _Doom Slayers_!"

The others looked at Beast Boy, who shrunk back from embarrassment.

"Well it sounded good to me…"

"Hence the look on our faces," said Cyborg.

"What title of identity do you suggest, Robin?" said Starfire. She had taken off her boots and was playfully kicking her feet in the water.

"I was thinking something bold and timeless, something that says we're a team whose power can overcome any obstacle set before them."

**I realize you're afraid  
But you can't reject the whole world  
You can't escape  
You won't escape  
You can't escape **

"The Titans…" said a voice from behind. The others turned to find Raven, who landed beside them.

"Come again?" said Robin.

"The Titans. That's the name of a group of powerful deities that ruled during a golden age in Greek mythology."

She then summoned her powers to pick up an I-beam lying on the ground and caused it to float in the air.

"So…need some help, team?"

**You don't want to escape…**

* * *

In case you're wondering, 'sclera' is the scientific name for the 'whites' of a person's eyes.


	12. Chapter 12: Away From Me

**955 hits…**

**I hope you guys like this chappie. I must have rewritten and proofread this thing like ten times before I got something I like.**

* * *

CHAPTER 12

It was early dusk, and all seemed well in Jump City. As the daylight began to merge with the twilight, Raven and her newfound friends – the Teen Titans as they were now called – were making themselves at home at Titans Tower, their command center and living quarters. Today had been a rather eventful day and everyone was eager to blow off some steam. Robin had disappeared into the recesses of his room, and Beast Boy and Cyborg were playing some video game on the Gamestation console while Starfire watched. Just then, the doors to the common area opened, and in walked Raven. From all outward appearances all seemed normal with the dark mage: same serious face and same serious disposition. But on the inside, it was a completely different story altogether…

_It has been several months since the Teen Titans first formed, and in that short window of time the gang have had their fill of some of the most dangerous and strangest villains ever to walk the globe. There was Cinderblock, a massive monstrosity made of solid concrete whose strength could easily demolish anything in his path, and Plasmus, a blob-like monster capable of morphing his shape, splitting off into separate entities, and spitting an acidic and most unpleasant sludge. There were a host of other petty villains as well. However today, the Titans almost met their match when they came across the HIVE, a trio of teenaged villains.__There was Gizmo, a boy __genius too smart for his own good, with technological and computer skills that would easily rival those of Cyborg. Then there was Jinx, the bearer of bad luck. She possessed the power to cause hexes and misfortunes to plague her enemies and their surroundings. Rounding off the group was Mammoth, the brawns and muscles of the HIVE. The trio of terror had appeared early on this afternoon while the Titans were out to lunch at the local pizzeria, and drew the team into their crosshairs by staging an imminent collision between a runaway bus and a baby stroller that was in its path..._

"_Um…don't buses normally have drivers?" said Cyborg, as he and Raven peered into the empty bus they'd managed to stop. Beast Boy and Starfire looked on while Robin went to check in the carriage. _

"_And don't baby carriages normally have babies?" he questioned, pulling out a teddy bear with green eyes._

"_Are you pit-sniffers normally this stupid?" said a childish (and rather irritating) male voice over a hidden speaker. Suddenly the bear's head __swiveled towards the Titans. The eyes began to glow ominously and before they even know what hit them, the force of impact from lasers caused Robin, Beast Boy and Starfire to go flying through the air. _

'_What the...?' thought Raven. Suddenly, the bus behind her and Cyborg began to tilt back onto its rear wheels seemingly by its own will. They looked up, completely flabbergasted as the shadow fell over them. Raven hurriedly drew up a force field for protection just as the bus came crashing down on top of them. While the shield protected the duo, the momentum of the bus caused the ground below them to buckle some and they found themselves lying in a crater._

"_Are you ok?" she directed to Cyborg who nodded. _

"_Yeah, but I know someone who's not going to be in a minute!"_

_Raven gestured for him to be quiet and the two of them could hear what sounded like someone walking away from the bus while dusting his hands and the cackling laugh of the boy from seconds ago. They also hear a third pair of footsteps approaching them._

"_That was too easy," said the boy. "What a bunch of cludge-heads. You guys want to get pizza?"_

_Raven growled to herself. 'The little troll…' Just then, Raven could hear Beast Boy and the others returning to the scene._

"_This isn't over!" shouted Robin._

"_He's got that right," said Cyborg. "Watch it, Raven. We're busting loose!"_

_Raven moved to the side as Cyborg used his sonic cannon to blow the bus off from on top of them. The two resurfaced and ready themselves for yet another fight._

"_We're just getting started!" _

_Raven looked on at their would-be attackers. __One was a very short, bald boy in a green jumpsuit with a pair of goggles propped on his forehead, and assorted controls mounted to his chest and waist level. Beside him was a very tall, burly guy (and most likely the moron who decided to squash Raven and Cyborg). He had collar-length brown hair and a small beard. His sleeveless shirt and pants are black, and studded gold bands cross his chest and run around his shoulders. The last member of the group was a slim girl wearing an off-the-shoulder black dress trimmed with blue ruffles, black-and-blue striped stockings, and black platform boots with blue soles. She had unusually pink catlike eyes, pinkish hair that was bound into two large horn-like tufts, and a bluish-pink complexion._

"_Who are these guys?" asked Beast Boy "And what's a cludge-head?"_

"_We are the HIVE!" said Gizmo, the shortest boy._

"_Your worst nightmare!" said Mammoth._

"_And this is Attack Pattern Alpha!" said Jinx. She and Mammoth then scrambled as Gizmo took to the air by means of the jet pack on his back. The battle then branched off: Raven went after Jinx and the two became waged in a close-quarters spell to spell showdown, while her four teammates went after Gizmo and Mammoth. Jinx eventually resorted to hand-to-hand combat and went after Raven with a jumping spin kick. Raven however was able to easily dodge the blow and the two that follow. Meanwhile, Jinx was just as capable in blocking Raven's counterattacks._

"_You fight like a boy," she said. Gizmo suddenly appeared behind her propped up on four tall spider-like mechanical legs from his backpack._

"_And you're gonna croak like a frog!"_

_Gizmo fired at Raven and sent her flying down the street, and right into Robin who was charging towards them. Beast Boy raced past them and towards the HIVE.._

"_Are you hurt?" asked Robin. Raven shook her head, but before she could comment any further, Robin was already charging back towards the enemy. Mammoth stood a ways off, and was holding Beast Boy (who was now in the form of an elephant) clear over his head as if he was a plush toy._

"_Beast Boy! Hang on!"_

_Mammoth then hurled Beast Boy in his direction. As the large green elephant closed in on Robin, Raven felt her heart stop and her emotions were screaming at her in every which way:_

"_He'll be crushed!"_

"_Save him!"_

"_Don't just sit there! Do something!"_

_But Raven couldn't do something, and she sat there frozen in place, watching the deadly tragedy unfold. _

'_Dear God, no'…_

"Friend Raven," called Starfire, breaking Raven out of her recollection. Raven shook her head and turned to face the beaming alien.

"Please, join me in the watching of visual games. It is most fun to watch and even more so to lead the cheers for Beast Boy and Cyborg."

Raven eyed the big screen TV in front of the three. On its display were two racecars – one purple and one blue – and each of them were tearing up the digital racetrack. Raven then looked over at the guys, who were completely absorbed in the game and shook her head.

"No thanks," she said in her usual monotonous manner. "I'm just here for a refill." Raven then floated over into the kitchen and took a tea kettle from off one of the eyes on the stove. She then poured some of the water into the coffee mug she was holding and took a teabag from out of a canister on the kitchen counter. After she had gotten her tea, Raven slowly began to make her way out of the common area.

"Oh…" said Starfire sadly. She then smiled once more and waved. "If you reconsider, you may find us here…"

The doors to the common area closed and Raven (who was now on the opposite side of them) sighed. She then began the lonely trek from the common area to her bedroom. It was a pretty straight forward route: the common area which doubled as an operations center was on the topmost floor of the tower. A quick trip on the elevator or down the steps would bring her down to the next level where all of the bedrooms were located, and Raven's room happened to be directly underneath the common area. Opting to take the stairs over the elevator (it would allow some time for the tea to cool), Raven gracefully drifted down the hallway and towards the staircase, and once again, she found the memory of the events from earlier that day replaying in her mind…

_Mammoth stood holding Beast Boy in his elephant form clear over his head. Robin charged towards them in an attempt to aid Beast Boy, but as he neared them, Mammoth hurled Beast Boy in his direction. As the large green elephant closed in on Robin, Raven felt her heart stop and her emotions were screaming at her in every which way:_

"_Don't just sit there! Do something!"_

_But Raven couldn't do something, and she sat there frozen in place, watching the deadly tragedy unfold. Fortunately for all of them, Beast Boy transformed back into his human form right before the two made impact, and he and Robin skidded to a stop nearby her. Raven let out a sigh of relief._

"_Is it me, or are we getting our butts kicked?" asked Beast Boy._

_Robin and Raven rose off the ground. "It's just you," they said collectively. Robin then turned to face them, a new determination etched across his face._

"_Listen up, team. I have a plan."_

_Before he could say another word, two shots from Gizmo's weaponry propelled Raven and Beast Boy into the air and nearly a block away. Raven moaned as she skidded into the sidewalk and tried to regain her balance. Beast Boy landed several feet away from her._

"_Um, was going airborne part of the part?" he asked, laughing nervously._

_Raven rolled her eyes and refocused her attention on the HIVE and Robin. "Come on," she snapped and took to the air. _

_As the two neared the scuffle, they spotted Robin, who was still in the general area of the HIVE and was standing on shaky ground – literally. A blast from Gizmo had opened a fault line at his feet, and Jinx and Mammoth were doing their part to widen the fracture. Raven flew in at neck-break speed to try and help, but was too little too late. Robin fell, his cries echoing from within the seemingly endless abyss. As Raven and Beast Boy finally neared the opening, the HIVE took it upon themselves to retreat, and they disappeared into the shadows from whence they came. Raven and Beast anxiously peered into the chasm in search of their leader, but only saw dark, murky water flowing below._

"_Robin!"_

Raven lowered her head and elsewhere in the hallway, a light bulb shattered. Raven gasped and turned in its direction. From behind her, a door could be heard sliding open, and Robin raced out.

"What was that?" he said, but relaxed a bit when he noticed the shattered glass on the floor.

"Sorry…" murmured Raven, taking care as to not make eye contact. "I'll clean it up."

"Don't sweat it. Your hands are full. I'll get it."

"But…"

Robin walked over to a door and opened it, revealing several cleaning implements. He reemerged with a dustpan and hand brush and began cleaning up the glass. Raven smiled and watched him silently, and while the two didn't speak, Raven could detect the swirl of emotions he was trying to conceal: anger, fatigue, embarrassment, and…concern?

"So, what's wrong?" said Robin, breaking the deadlock of silence.

Raven looked at him questioningly. "I was going to ask you the same thing."

Robin shrugged and walked back over to the utility closet. "Well I was just thinking about those HIVE kids," said Robin, dumping the contents of the dustpan into a wastebasket. He then took a new light bulb out and walked over to the empty light fixture to install it.

"And more importantly the guy who hired them to exterminate us. Who _is _Slade and what's his plan?"

Raven nodded her head in agreement.

"I'm also upset that I let you down."

"Let us down? You came back in the end, and you led us to victory. How could you think you let us down?"

"If I'd been stronger and smarter, the HIVE wouldn't have breached our headquarters, and no one would've gotten hurt."

Raven grew silent. During the fight, Cyborg had been hotwired and launched by one of Gizmo's rockets to almost halfway over to Gotham City, and Beast Boy was wounded during the first encounter with the HIVE. She and Starfire had also sustained some scrapes and cuts as well.

"Speaking of which…are _you_ doing better?"

Robin nodded. "Yeah. That 'magic touch' of yours comes in handy. I'm starting to think there's _nothing_ you can't do."

Raven smiled lightly. "Anyway," continued Robin. "Let me not keep you. Your tea's getting cold and I'm certain you've got something more important to do. See you in the morning."

Robin walked passed Raven, lightly (but accidentally) brushing past her, and reentered his room. As the doors swished closed, another light bulb shattered in the hallway.

_'Damn…'_

* * *

**I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll  
I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds  
But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to  
Lost all faith in the things I have achieved**

Raven sat in her room deep in meditation. It seemed like she found herself mediating more than she ever had to, even more so than when she still dwelled on Azarath. Maybe it was due to the taxing new lifestyle she led. Or, maybe it came from the stress of having four rather hyperactive (at least in Raven's mind frame) roommates alongside of her 24/7. Then there was the theory that she simply needed more practice in keeping her emotions under control for both her sanity and her safety. Of course in any event, it was becoming increasingly difficult for Raven to juggle so many things _and _still find time to research an answer to rid herself of the dark prophecy she seemed destined to fulfill. There were some days when Raven would basically barricade herself in her room, shifting from the task of meditation to intense researching, and then to simply trying to find sleep that often refused to come. Other times, Raven could be found elsewhere in the Tower, (usually in the common area or out on the rooftop) but her interactions with the others was limited to say the least. Raven refused to reveal the dark secret she carried and did all in her power to stay as detached from the others as possible. At the same time, this wasn't all that hard for Raven to do. Starfire after all was far too cheerful, energetic and naïve for her taste. Cyborg had a good heart and nature to him, but then again he could sometimes be boisterous and crude. And Beast Boy was…well…Beast Boy. Corny jokes, childish behavior and the 'Way of the Vegan' clearly did not sit well with the demi-demon…

**And I, I've woken now to find myself  
In the shadows of all I have created  
I'm longing to be lost in you **_**(Away from this place I have made)**_**  
Won't you take me away from me?**

**  
**That only left Robin, the Boy Wonder, although to Raven he was more like the _Great _Wonder. Of all the Titans, he was the only one that Raven didn't seem to mind having in her company. Part of her wanted to conclude that this was because of the kindness he displayed to her when they first met, and the fact that like her, Robin was diligent in his studies and training. He also had a deep respect for other people's property and privacy, a fact that Starfire sometimes failed to notice and a problem that Beast Boy had to be reminded of (in some cases forcibly). However, as time went by, Raven realized that the reason for her wanting to be near Robin was due to something else – an emotion that was long thought to be forgotten – an emotion that he alone had somehow managed to reawaken…

"_Mother?" asked a younger Raven, who wandered the vast corridors of Azar's Tower. The aspiring mage, now twelve years of age, had had a perplexing question to ask of her mother, but was having the hardest time locating her. Eventually, Raven decided to stop looking for her the normal way, and tapped into her thoughts to get a bearing on her position. _

"_Of course. She's out on Azar's terrace."_

_Raven then silently and swiftly teleported into Azar's chamber. When she arrived there, a certain chill raced through her body, for even after two years, Raven still found it hard to be in Azar's chamber and know that she would not find her. Raven then slowly began to approach the terrace doors and was startled not by the surge of emotions she felt emanating from outside, but the type. Raven then cautiously peered through the glass, and was surprised to find Arella in the arms of Coman. The two soon broke the embrace and Coman began to walk towards the exit. Raven quickly phased down into the floor, and Coman entered the chamber and then exited out through the other set of doors. Raven then phased back up onto the terrace and watched her mother, who stood transfixed in a stupor._

"_Mother?"_

_The older woman broke out of her trance and turned to face her daughter._

"_Yes, Rae?"_

"_Are you feeling ok? You seem…distracted."_

_Arella chuckled. " 'Distracted'. That's an interesting choice of word."_

_Raven looked at Arella questioningly. _

"_I'm guessing you saw me and Coman just now?"_

_Raven nodded. "What was that all about?"_

"_I'm still trying to understand it myself, but at the same time I can't really complain. He has such a hold over me."_

"_I'm afraid I don't understand."_

"_Well, it's like this. Coman makes me feel special. He makes me feel safe, smart, beautiful and appreciated. I guess that…this is love."_

"_Love? Like how I feel for Azar?"_

"_Not quite. There are all sorts of love as you know, Raven: love of prosperity and fame, love of family and friends, and then there's the love for that 'special' someone. That's the kind of love that many spend their whole lives looking for and the kind that they spend the rest of their lives fighting to keep. It's a reassuring feeling to have someone who thinks the world of you, no matter what you've done in the past or who you are now, someone who is working to work their fingers to the bone to ensure your happiness and is willing to sacrifice themselves if that is what it takes to save your life…"_

"_So, why do you also feel upset if it's such a good thing?"_

_Arella pursed her lips, but then quickly smiled once more. "Because I also feel that I'm not deserving of such a man like him. I…care…for him so much, that even though it would make me sad, I feel that he should really go out and find a more suitable mate."_

"_Love sounds like a strange thing."_

_Arella nodded bashfully. "Yes, it can be. But one day, you'll see what I'm talking about, and you'll see why there are some who can't live without it..."_

**Crawling through this world as disease flows through my veins  
I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed  
I can't go on like this  
I loathe all I've become  
**

"I guess you were right after all," said Raven to herself early one morning. She had taken to the common area to enjoy both the beauty of the sunrise and the calm and quiet that the dawn brought to the Tower. She was facing the large windows overlooking the bay and sat calmly as she heard the common room doors open. Normally, she would frown upon the idea of someone interrupting her 'quiet time', but she was willing to make an exception in this case. After all, there was only one other person who got up as early as she did…

"Morning," said Robin, walking over to the kitchen area. "Morning," replied Raven, who continued her vigilance by the window. She listened contently as Robin set about in his regular morning routine: brewing a pot of coffee, toasting a few slices of bread and frying a couple of eggs. He eventually gathered himself to settle upon the couch and commenced eating his fill.

"Uh, Raven?" he called after several moments passed. Raven felt her pulse quickened, but did nothing to convey her nervousness.

"Yes?" she answered in her usual manner.

"I need your opinion on a matter."

Raven swallowed deeply and then sighed.

"Go on."

"It has to do with something that happened before we all joined together."

At this time, Raven turned to face him. Up until now, she and the others had been doing their best to not intrude on their teammates – more importantly on thoughts and memories about their pasts. It was obvious that they've all had a rough time getting to where they stood now, and no one really advertised just what it was that haunted them the most about their childhoods. So naturally, for someone as reserved as Robin to want to talk about it and to want to talk about it to _her_, it was both a little unnerving and yet satisfying…  
**  
**_**(I've woken now) **_**I've woken now to find myself  
In the shadows of all I have created **_**(I'm lost in you)**_**  
I'm longing to be lost in you **_**(Away from this place I have made)**_**  
Won't you take me away from me?  
**  
Raven sat in silence as Robin recalled the events that led to his coming to Jump City. She learned that Robin was trained under the watchful eye of Batman, the 'dark knight' that protected Gotham City. She also learned that the two of them had a huge falling out about their differencing viewpoints on crime-fighting and of the pursuit of Anthony 'Boss' Zucco, a well-known crime lord who was also an instrument in the death of Robin's parents. Robin eventually then turned to Raven, who had been listening both calmly and patiently.

"Was I wrong to do what I did?" he asked at the end of his tale. "Should I have stayed?"

**Lost in a dying world I reach for something more  
I have grown so weary of this lie I live**

Raven looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"I would have given my right hand to have the chance to stay with my mentor. But, at the same time, if being with her only brought misery and doubt upon myself, I couldn't stay either. You did what you believed was the right thing to do, Robin. That alone is good enough in itself."

Robin nodded and smiled, resting his hand on her shoulder.

"Thanks Raven. I knew you'd understand."

"I'm…glad I was able to help…"

Just then, the common area doors swished open, and in floated Starfire, forever in her overly cheerful state of mind.

"Oh, what a most joyous of mornings it is friends!"

Raven rolled her eyes, annoyed that her time with Robin had been interrupted. If Starfire was up, then that meant that pretty soon the others would follow her. But at the same time, Raven knew that she had no one to be annoyed with but herself. She and Robin could've been the last two people on Earth and she still wouldn't have summoned the guts to tell him how she felt…or rather what she thought she felt for him. It probably wouldn't have mattered anyway, for no matter what she said or did, there was no way Robin would ever look at her the same way she found herself looking at him...

_**(I've woken now)**_**I've woken now to find myself  
In the shadows of all I have created **_**(I'm lost in you)**_**  
I'm longing to be lost in you  
I **_**(I've woken now)  
**_**I've woken now to find myself  
In the shadows of all I have created **_**(I'm lost in you)**_**  
I'm longing to be lost in you  
Away from me…**


	13. Chapter 13: All That I'm Living For

**980 hits… **

**You guys more than likely won't here from me again until after the holidays. So as an early Christmas gift, here's Chapter 13. I also have a forum up and running, so feel free to stop on in and leave your thoughts and questions. I'll reply back to you soon and see you all next year!**

_

* * *

_

CHAPTER 13

**All that I'm living for  
All that I'm dying for  
All that I can't ignore alone at night**

After the whole HIVE incident, things at Titans Tower pretty much went back to normal (or as normal as life could get for a cyborg, an alien, a meta-human, a demi-demon and a teen-aged crime fighter with a black belt). There were times when things were slow, and the group found numerous ways to pass the time, such as picnicking, playing sports, seeing the latest movies or just laying about the Tower. Then there were times when there was a surge in criminal activity and the Titans were called into the line of duty. Most of the time it was to assist the local police force in apprehending robbers and burglars or to alleviate hostage situations, but the team had also met some new rabble-rousers in Jump City as well. Cyborg for instance, have had the misfortunate of shutting down during a battle with Mumbo, a quirky magician who used spells and magic tricks to rob banks and armored trucks, and because of this fell into the hands of Fixit, a lonely cybernetic hermit who decided to take it upon himself to try and remove Cyborg's biological parts. The team also came upon Thunder and Lightning, a sibling pair with the power to control lightning and sound waves. This duo of terror came to Jump City one evening with the intentions of "having some fun" and their mischievous antics quickly got well out of hand. More surprisingly, of all the Titans it was Beast Boy who was the one to get through to them to stop their senseless wave of destruction.

Indeed, more or less things were pretty much the same old same old for the Teen Titans: Robin still obsessed over what was Slade's ulterior and ultimate goal, Starfire was forever on Cloud Nine and looking for ways to fit in on Earth, Cyborg was slowly learning to coming to terms with life as a mechanical hybrid, and Beast Boy well…he was still Beast Boy. Raven however was experiencing some changes of the most unpleasant kind, changes that no amount of medicine or magic could do away with…

**I can feel the night beginning  
Separate me from the living  
Understanding me, after all I've seen**

Raven tossed and turned in her huge bed. Night had fallen upon the Tower, and the building was set to a comfortably cool temperature setting. And yet despite this, Raven still had managed to break into a sweat. As she laid there tangled up within the sheets, a frown was cemented onto her face and her chakra upon her brow glowed as her thoughts drifted from one disturbing recollection to another. And there, always floating in the background waiting to make matters worse was the voice of her rage…

"Stupid girl! Why cloud your mind and vision with such meaningless drivel?"

Raven's eyes shot open and she was most surprised when she found herself lying not in her room but in a barren wasteland dotted with craters and erupting geysers and that was illuminated by the red-hot lava that flowed all around. Raven gasped and tumbled from the bed, which upon her departure morphed into a slab of rock. She landed on her stomach and a pair of feet in familiar red boots walked into her view. Raven scowled and struggled to her feet, but was only met with a forceful kick into her stomach. Raven stumbled backwards and landed on her back, the wind completely knocked out of her, and she watched as her evil counterpart stormed over to her.

"What's your problem?" spat Raven, racing up from the ground. "And where exactly have you brought me?"

"Don't you recognize it?" fumed Rage. "This is the cesspool you've banished us to!"

Raven looked around in confusion. Then out of the corner of her eye, she spotted something brown dart by. Raven then turned to see Neurotic who was frantically brushing her hands up and down her cloak and body as if in an attempt to remove something invisible from off of her. Then it dawned on Raven. Her powers coupled with all the stress on her mind had somehow managed to envision that she had been teleported into the depths of her mind. Or at least Raven _hoped _that this was only imaginary. Otherwise, this meant that she was standing right in the realm where her two most taxing emotions dwelled...

"But, why does it look like this?" she questioned, turning back to face Rage.

"Simple... what we represent influences the environment of the realm we were banished to."

Raven frowned. She clearly wasn't pleased with the fact that Rage as of late had done nothing but harass her day and night and now she had dragged her here just to yell at her?

"I have a better question: _why _was I brought here?"

"You were well over-due for a rude awakening, sister. I wanted to be able to stare you straight in the face and blast you into smithereens for being such a hypocrite!"

"What are you talking about?" said Raven, icily. She was quickly losing her patience and the fact that she was exhausted did nothing to help the matter.

**Piecing every thought together  
Find the words to make me better  
If I only knew how to pull myself apart**

"Don't toy with me! This whole 'feeling' thing of yours, this whole 'even though I'm supposed to not care about anyone or anything, I still go out to save the world'! That thing!"

_"_That's an entirely…"

"And _Robin_! Oh, don't even get me started on him!"

Raven's eyes widened and then narrowed into dangerously thin slits. Her brow furrowed as she glared at the emotion that was badmouthing everything she fought for and valued most.

"You have…"

"…No idea what you're talking about?" Raven closed her mouth and frowned once more. Meanwhile Rage scoffed and then smiled at her, bearing what easily resembled vampire fangs.

"You're such a broken record, Raven. And like I said before, you're a hypocrite. You talk about not wanting to feel anything, you put us all under lock and key, and then you go and have a friggin' conscience attack and team up with a bunch of do-gooders, whose efforts may I add, are all in vain!"

"He's coming…" said Neurotic, who for the first time since she appeared openly acknowledged the others' presence. "The reign of darkness is coming..." she prattled on. "The darkness is coming…"

**All that I'm living for  
All that I'm dying for  
All that I can't ignore alone at night  
All that I'm wanted for  
Although I wanted more  
Lock the last open door  
My ghosts are gaining on me**

"Well put, Basket Case," chuckled Rage. Raven grimaced and folded her arms.

"You're wrong," she whispered sternly. "You're both wrong. There is a way to stop Trigon. It's all a just matter of where and when I find the solution. And when I find it, the Titans and I are going to whoop his ..."  
**  
I believe that dreams are sacred  
Take my darkest fears and play them  
Like a lullaby, like a reason why**

"Even more silly thoughts being put into your empty head," hissed Rage. "Trigon's return has been prophesied since nearly the beginning of time. What the heck makes you think you'd have any say in the matter? The people of Azarath and that so-called mother of us have done nothing but lie to you – just like they had been from the very beginning. Or have you forgotten the whole Magnus incident?"  
**  
Like a play of my obsessions  
Make me understand the lesson  
So I'll find myself so I won't be lost again**

Raven lowered her head, wishing that Rage hadn't gone and reopened that closed wound. "This whole facade of yours needs to be torn down and burned down," she continued. "It's pointless for you to play a hero and it's pointless for you to dream about falling in love. Demons, be they full-blooded or not, never look out for the good of others, and they can never be in or experience love…"

"No…"

"What do you mean, 'no'? It's the way it's always been. You were created, nay, _sired _for the sole purpose of bringing Trigon back to reclaim what rightfully belongs to him – nothing more and nothing less. In fact, after he returns, you are – we all are - to exist no more, since our lifelong purpose will finally be fulfilled."  
**  
All that I'm living for  
All that I'm dying for  
All that I can't ignore alone at night**

"You're…wrong!" said Raven, her voice quavering badly.

"You're the one who's wrong! As I told you once,all of creation's darkness…all of the hatred, death, suffering and destruction that exists here and beyond… you crave it, and you live for it. It's all that you ever live for, and it's foolhardy to think otherwise. "

Raven screamed and did something that was most unexpected of her. The troubled but normally calm and collected teenager suddenly lunged at her darker counterpart, knocking the both of them to the ground. As the two tussled, Neurotic looked on nervously, particularly at the fact that Rage didn't really seem to be putting up much of a fight and that she was grinning the whole time. Suddenly, something stuck her, and her eyes grew large as she cried out…

"Raven, you must stop!"

But her pleads fell on deaf ears. Raven continued to strike and shout obscenities at her aggressor, who now was laughing heartily.

"Raven, stop! Can't you see what she's trying to do?! Raven!"

**All that I'm wanted for  
Although I wanted more  
Lock the last open door  
My ghosts are gaining on me**

Still no reply, and all the while, Raven's eyes began to glow red and so did her chakra. Seconds later, a secondary pair of red eyes appeared on top of the first and Neurotic screamed, racing away from the scene of chaos.

"Dear Azar above!" she wailed as she disappeared from sight. Raven meanwhile gasped when she realized what was happening. She staggered back and away from Rage, who rose up from the ground and grinned wickedly.

"Well what do you know?" she smirked. "I guess I really am psychic. Rage has indeed consumed you whole. Oh, and thanks for turning me loose. After all, I couldn't have done it without your help."

She then disappeared from view and Raven felt herself gasping for air and she watched as her world went to black. Suddenly Raven screamed, and jolted forward, and was most surprised to find herself still lying in her bed and inside of her room. Her violet eyes nervously panned across the room, once again pondering over whether what she'd seen actually happened or was a mere nightmare. She then sighed and wiped her sweat-soaked brow with her hand. Just then, an alarm began to blare and Raven's darkened room was basked in a red light that flashed incessantly.

_"_God, what now?" she murmured. Her head was in a whirlwind and she literally felt sick to her stomach. Raven even contemplated ignoring the call to duty altogether, but the wailing of the siren and the brightness of the signal prevented her from simply rolling over and going (or rather trying to go) back to sleep. Raven eventually and leisurely got out of bed and then walked over to the door to open it, and in the process nearly collided into Robin who was running towards her.

**Guess I thought I'd have to change the world  
To make you see me  
****To be the one  
I could have run forever  
****But how far would I have come  
Without mourning your love?**

"I was just coming to get you," he said. "I already sent Starfire and the others downtown."

"Why? What's going on?" she asked, forcing herself to quickly return to her usual monotonous state.

"Police report says that an armor truck was attacked over on the east side of the city. Police had tried to subdue the criminal but…

"_Criminal_ – as in one? Who's strong enough to take on an armored truck on his own?"

"Don't know. The commissioner was very brief and it was hard to understand him over all the noise. All I managed to get out of him was that it was a guy calling himself Dr. Light."

Raven raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I know," said Robin. "But something tells me that just because he chose a weird name to call himself, we better not, er…"

"Take him 'lightly?'?

Robin just stared at her. "_Right_. Look, are you feeling ok? You seem a bit out of it."

"I'm just tired," she said, albeit a bit harsher that she had wanted it to come out. Robin detected this and his face softened. Raven sighed and went on to speak, only this time taking caution to do so in a more pleasant tone of voice.

"You go on ahead to meet the others and I'll catch up."

Robin looked at her and after a moment's hesitation, he nodded and disappeared down the hall. Raven sighed and reentered her room.

**All that I'm living for  
All that I'm dying for  
All that I can't ignore alone at night  
****All that I'm wanted for  
Although I wanted more  
Lock the last open door  
My ghosts are gaining on me  
**  
"Of all the nights to have to go out and take down a villain," she moaned, massaging her temples. "Something doesn't feel right, and I need to mediate…badly. But, there's clearly no time for me to do both. Robin and the others need me there now."

Raven's eyes then glowed white and she stretched over her arms and allowed a billowy black wave of energy in the form of a raven envelope her. As this 'soul self' of hers began to teleport her out of the Tower, Raven had one thing running through her mind:

**Should it hurt to love you?  
Should I feel like I do?  
Should I lock the last open door (Lock the last open door)?**

"That man's going to wish he'd never been born…"  
**  
My ghosts are gaining on me…**


	14. Chapter 14: Lose Control

**Happy New Year! Or not. It's all the same to me, and here in New York City, it's only another excuse for folks to make a whole lot of noise and a huge mess (God how I hate working in Times Square). **

**Anyway, S.O.M.L is now up to 1070 hits. Read it, review it and enjoy it. As a matter of fact while you're at it, you also need to thank her Royal Highness – that is to say Rock Royalty – since she's the one who aided me with finishing this chapter. Lastly, please feel free to vote in the live poll on my profile page and to leave your thoughts and comments in the forum I recently opened…**

* * *

CHAPTER 14

When Raven phased in onto a rooftop overlooking a local street in East Jump City, California, it was a scene of chaos. Lying down below in the street and on its side was the armored truck with its rear doors broken into and numerous bars of gold bullion spilt out onto the road. Standing not far from it was a peculiar looking man with a little black beard. He wore a black skintight outfit trimmed in gray metal and a matching helmet. His suit also had a light bulb fastened to the chest…

'_Dr. Light, I presume,'_ thought Raven. _'But where are the Titans?'_

Raven's eyes then caught something lying over on the rooftop directly across from her, and they panned over to find Robin lying on his back. She felt her pulse began to race when it appeared as if he was unresponsive but relaxed some when she finally saw him stir.

"Incredible feeling of Déjà vu, huh?" said the voice of Affection. Raven though simply ignored her and then started to walk along the rooftop and towards Dr. Light, who was unaware that he was being monitored.

"W-wait. You're not going over there to check on him?"

'_I would sense if Robin was in grave danger,' _snapped Raven._ 'Besides, I've got to check on the others first and stop Dr. Light.'_

Affection immediately sensed that Raven was really trying to downplay how worried and upset she was. She also had the urge to continue to persuade Raven to go back and check on him. However she soon thought better of it (perhaps concluding that it really would have been selfish on her part to fuss over one teammate while the others could be in danger) and disappeared once again into the back of Raven's mind. Raven's eyes then went on to survey the damage and she spotted Beast Boy not too far off lying in the middle of the street and constantly rubbing his eyes. Apparently, Dr. Light used some sort of device or trick up his sleeve to blind the shape shifter, rendering him useless in battle. Starfire and Cyborg weren't doing much better either. Both teammates were prevented from even reaching Dr. Light: Starfire was encased in some kind of force field and Cyborg somehow managed to find himself embedded into the sidewalk – so much so that only his head and hands were free.

"Now, if nobody minds," said Dr. Light smugly and as Cyborg struggled to free himself. "I'll be taking the gold."

"_I _mind," said Raven, taking to the sky. "Azarath Metrion Zin…"

A beam of light suddenly struck her at full force, and Raven cried out from both shock and pain as she fell like a stone to the pavement below. As she started to get up, the sound of footsteps could be heard approaching her.

"Bit of advice," said Dr. Light, his hands warming up for a second assault. "Find shorter magic words."

"Oh, he's asking for it!"screamed Rage. "Let me at him for two seconds, and it'll be all said and done!"

Raven felt as if a vein was about ready to explode within her forehead. She took a deep breath and summoned all of what was left of her self-control to try and drown out Rage's screaming and push her to the back. She then spotted a motorcycle over by the curb and launched it at Dr. Light, hoping it would buy her some time to either gather her senses enough to retaliate properly, or that it would allow her teammates to regroup and attack. Dr. Light however simply blew the vehicle up and quickly nailed her with another blast. Raven went sailing down the block again and came to rest on her knees with her back turned to him. Once again, she heard the sound of Dr. Light's footsteps approaching her and the sound of her own pulse quickening...

**You don't remember my name  
****I don't really care**

_'Easy, easy...'_ she coaxed herself and placed a hand over her pounding heart. _'Just calm down. The others are too close by and there'll be repercussions if you lose it out here'._

**Can we play the game your way?  
****Can I really lose control?**

"Don't come any closer," she hissed just loud enough for Dr. Light to hear, and surprisingly the villain obeyed her demand. Apparently even a newcomer to town had enough sense to not to mess with the likes of Raven, especially when she was at her worst...

"What's the matter?" he jested. "Afraid of the light?"

Stupid, _stupid_, man…

'_Taunt me, will you?!' _

**Just once in my life… **

In an instance Raven growled and swirled around to face Dr. Light. Her eyes- as they normally did when she was at her angriest - were glowing blood red. However this time instead of adopting a secondary pair of eyes, Raven grew to an unthinkable height that was nearly three times taller than Dr Light. As the villain backed away in fear, thick black tendrils from under her cloak shot out towards him.

**I think it'd be nice… **

"No! No!" he screamed as he was grabbed. The contact between him and the 'darkness' instantly began to cause sparks to fly from his suit.

"My suit! What are you…no, stop! You win! I surrender!"

**Just to lose control, just once...**

His pleas however went unnoticed and he was steadily dragged towards Raven's flapping cloak, all the while the provoked teenager was smiling viciously down at him. "What's the matter?" she said mockingly, once again her voice sounding as if some demonic being was saying the words along with her. "Afraid of the _dark_!?"

"I surrender! NO!!"

Dr. Light screeched as he disappeared into the folds of Raven's cape. Just then, Robin, who had recovered from the blow Dr. Light dealt him, began to race over to the grisly scene.

"Raven, stop!"

_'Robin?'_

_**(With all the pretty flowers)**_** In the dust…**

Having been jarred back to her senses, Raven gasped sharply and her eyes snapped back to their normal color. She slowly shrunk down to normal size and her cloak receded to reveal a most humbled Dr. Light. Part of his helmet and suit was charred and he lay curled up in a fetal position with eyes as large as saucers. Raven looked on in embarrassment as Robin and Starfire, who somehow escaped her entrapment, ran over to check on him. She then turned her back to the three of them.

"It's okay," she heard Robin say. "You're going to be all right."

"It was...no..." mumbled Dr. Light, still (and understandably) in a bewildered state. "So dark...make it stop...make it stop..." At this time, Beast Boy, who had regained his senses and Cyborg, now free of the pavement, cautiously approached Raven.

"Dude!" said Beast Boy. "Raven, what did you do?"

'_What did I do?!'_

Quick as a flash, Raven turned around to face him and snarled. Her eyes were once again an ominous red and the sight of her frightened the changeling so badly that he went to cower behind Cyborg (who to be honest seemed just as unnerved at seeing her like this). Then, just as quickly as she snapped, Raven quickly composed herself and began to walk away. As she disappeared into the darkness of a nearby alley, her ears caught the tail end of a question Beast Boy directed at Cyborg:

"What's her deal?"

* * *

It didn't take a scholar to know that once the remaining Titans got home that evening, they all made it a point to stay clear of Raven, and Raven was doing her part to stay away from the others. Since she had returned home, Raven quickly barricaded herself inside of her room and had not been seen since. The vision that she had hours ago frayed her nerves severely, and she was even more upset at her unprofessional reaction towards Dr. Light and the others...

"What are you so upset about?" cackled Rage, who seemed to be having the time of her life. "The little douche was asking for it. He teased us and then goes and makes a stupid pun like that? Bad things were bound to happen. Now, what you really should've done was leave him with me for a few more minutes. _That _would have left a lasting expression on him…"

Raven sighed deeply. Ever since Rage tricked her into knocking down the blockade in her mind, things just hadn't been the same. She was well aware that because of this unfortunate turn of events she was now in a most precarious state of mind. That was part of what led to the merciless beating that Dr. Light received. Granted, he did mock her not once but twice that evening and in both instances his words really offended Raven. However, be that he was a petty thief or even a criminal mastermind, Raven felt that no one, not even Dr. Light was deserving of having the horror of seeing, hearing and living out his darkest fears and nightmares all in one take…

**Mary had a lamb  
****His eyes black as coals **

Hours later, morning fell upon Titans Tower, and surprisingly, Raven was the very last to rise. She had managed to grab about five hours sleep - a new record for her- but it was very little consolation for her misery. Overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and loneliness besieged her, and this only heightened her boiling rage. After all, if Rage hadn't made that desperate break for freedom, the other emotions wouldn't be running all over her now. Then again, if Raven had actually stuck by her word and didn't allow the whisperings of Affection or Bravery to both persuade her to long for Robin's favor and to join the Titans, perhaps Rage wouldn't have felt so incensed to the point that things went the way they were now. Raven sighed once more and a shallow breath rattled her throat…

"Things are _far_ too complicated than it needs to be..."

She then rose and proceeded with her morning ritual of making the bed, ensuring that her hair was tidy and neat, changing into a fresh uniform and washing up. She then slowly make the walk up to the common area and came in to find the others already eating breakfast. Robin and Starfire were sitting next to each other, (as usual, and this always caused Raven to grimace inwardly), and both were happily eating and chatting away with one another. Meanwhile, Cyborg looked as if he was going to be sick - literally. It was apparently Beast Boy's turn to cook breakfast, and the avid meat-lover was clearly disgusted with the fact that the vegan slipped him tofu eggs and soy milk. Raven didn't care too much for meat substitutes either, and she really wasn't all that hungry to begin with. Her eyes soon fell upon the coffeepot over on the counter and a small sense of relief washed over her.

'_At least someone had the sense to brew a pot of tea for me.'_

**If we play very quiet, my lamb  
****Mary never has to know**

"Hey Raven," said Robin. "Want breakfast?"

'_Well what do you know?'_ thought Raven sarcastically. _'He actually acknowledged my presence.'_ She continued to pay him and the others no heed and went on to pour herself a cup.

"It's good," said Beast Boy in a sing-songy voice and popped up behind her with a full plate of food. "Wakey-wakey, tofu eggs and bakey."

"Herbal tea..." said Raven icily. She sincerely hoped that this would alert Beast Boy that she was in no mood for his antics this morning. She then set the coffeepot back onto the counter.

"Come on, just one little taste," he pressed on. "You could use a little food after the way you cooked Dr. Light."

**Just once in my life  
****I think it'd be nice  
****Just to lose control, just once **

"**NO!**" screamed Raven. She whirled around to face him, her eyes once again blazing red. Beast Boy squealed in shock as Raven's outburst caused what was like a volcanic eruption on the breakfast plate he was holding. The tofu eggs flew up into his face, and as an afterthought, he dropped the now empty plate to the floor. Raven then swiftly exited the common area, leaving four speechless and very wary Titans in her wake…

"What ever did you do _that _for?" questioned the uneasy voice of Timidity as Raven stormed down the hallway. She was so out of touch with her feelings, she never did sense the hot sensation of her tea which due to both her speed and the way she held the cup, regularly splashed onto her hands.

"Beast Boy was only trying to be nice…" said the voice of Affection. "In his own quirky and clumsy little way..."

_'Beast Boy knows good and well that if he encroaches on me and/or my personal space, there'll be problems.'_

**If I cut you down to a thing I can use**

"Is that you talking or your rage?" rang the voice of Intelligence. "Because her influence is all I've been hearing in you lately."

_'Just whose side are you on?!'_

"The only one that is there: yours."

Raven stopped and lowered her head. She then looked down at the coffee cup –which was now practically empty- and casually began to dangle it from its handle on one of her pinkies.

_'Sorry…'_

"It's…fine. We understand."

_'Do you?'_

"Indeed. Things have been tedious for us as well and we're all just as flustered as you are. But you have to realize who your friends are here. As Affection has noted, Beast Boy - albeit in a tactless manner - was only trying to help you. We've _all_ been trying to help you…"

Raven nodded, though it appeared to be out of absentmindedness.

"Now come on. Let's go up to the roof."

Raven lifted her head up and realized that she was an arms length away from her bedroom door.

_'Why the roof?'_

**I fear there be nothing good left of you**

"Because sooner or later, your friends will be hot on your trail to check up on you," answered Affection, after some hesitation. "And while I normally am all for drawing strength from family and friends, right now you really need some 'alone time' to dwell on what damage Rage has done in here and whether or not it can be repaired."

Raven nodded her head. After all, she knew that she had absolutely nothing to gain if she allowed her rage to run unchecked. She then swiftly made her way back to the staircase and walked up the two flights that led to the rooftop. Raven then walked over to about the center of the roof and took a seat. She got herself into her accustomed lotus position and took several deep cleansing breathes to help relax. Her eyelids grew heavy and as they closed, Raven softly murmured her mantra...

"Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos…"

This went on for several minutes, and eventually Raven envisioned herself sitting on top of a lone meteor hovering in the vast emptiness of space. This was Quiescence, the state in which Raven's mind fell into during meditation. While in here, Raven felt greatly at peace. She could calmly and openly face all of her thoughts and emotions with minimal interference from outside distractions. Just then, the translucent form of Intelligence phased in before her.

"Hello Raven," she said calmly. "We have much to discuss…"

_**Just to lose control, just once…**_


	15. Chapter 15: Imaginary

**We're up to 1192 hits. Read and enjoy!**

* * *

CHAPTER 15

Raven remained within Quiescence to speak with Intelligence for about two hours time. At first glance it was a pretty generic conversation, since more often than not when the two spoke it usually was about maintaining order and to devise ways to stop Trigon's return. However at some point things shifted toward a more distressing revelation, and Raven became so heavy in thought that she never even heard Robin and Starfire approach her from behind…

"Raven…" said Robin with concern. "You okay? We stopped by your room and the door's been knocked down."

Suddenly, and without warning, Raven's eyes popped opened.

"Ha ha ha ha! _HA_ HA HA HA!"

Raven quickly came to her senses and clasped both hands over her mouth to stop her frenzied laughter. Behind her, Robin and Starfire (understandably scared out of their wits by the unexpected sound) stood cowering with their arms in a defensive position.

"Need to be alone," mumbled Raven while blushing profusely. She the hurriedly stood up, pulled her hood over her head and made her way to the door leading to the stairs and elevator.

_'Ok, ladies, what was that all about? The others are bound to think I'm insane for sure now…'_

"I am uncertain myself," said a puzzled Intelligence. "Happiness has never made an outburst quite like that before. She should be in confinement with Affect…wait a minute…Didn't Robin mention that he found our bedroom door knocked down?"

"Yes, but what does that have to…"

Raven's face paled and then she took off down the stairs and toward her room. When she neared the door frame, she skidded to a stop and peered in to see that her door was in fact knocked down as Robin described it. With the wave of her hand, Raven quickly put the door back in place and cautiously walked deeper into her room for a close inspection.

"Somebody's head's going to roll for this," she said to no one in particular. But to anyone living in Titans Tower, it was obvious that 'somebody' that she was referring to a certain green animal lover. After all, Beast Boy had been known to have a history of pulling pranks (Cyborg and Starfire each could personally vouch for that) and invading others' privacy. Therefore, Raven wouldn't – nay _couldn't ­put_ it past him to have come into her room and tampered with her possessions which in turn had some sort of effect on her powers and emotions. And, if Raven had her way, she would ensure that Beast Boy knew that going into her room was a costly mistake that he would live to regret. Walking in a bit farther, Raven stopped when she spotted a familiar heavy wrought iron hand mirror lying on the floor, and she was suddenly hit with a sensation of both fear and dread.

"No…"

"Dear Azar, what has he done!?" questioned Intelligence, who sounded just as worried as Raven herself. "Playing with spells and charms would have been bad enough but now that he's in here with us, he could do some really irreversible damage!"

"Not to mention he may see something that I rather not have him see…"

"Well then, hurry up! With the likes of him and Rage running about, things are bound to start spiraling out of control. Come inside and I'll inform you on what I can gather from the others."

**Aaah... Paper flowers  
Aaah... Paper flowers**

Raven nodded and picked up the mirror, gazing upon her tired reflection. And as before two pairs of glowing red eyes superimposed themselves onto her reflection. They soon vanished and a wave of red and black energy shot straight up from the mirror, shaping itself into an arm. Raven laid the mirror upon her bed and the 'arm' of crackling energy took hold of her, and she disappeared into the vortex of dark energy. This time though as Raven entered the depths of her mind, it gave off an ominous vibe. The sky was a dark crimson-black and throughout the realm, individual asteroids of varying shape and size began to litter the space. Raven came to an unceremonious landing on top of the second of the five largest asteroids, and she rubbed her aching side. Just then the familiar form of Intelligence stepped forth from the archway behind her.

**I linger in the doorway  
Of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name  
Let me stay where the wind will whisper to me  
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story…**

"Intelligence! How…"

"…did I pass through the barrier so easily?" she interrupted. "Simple: things are just as I feared. Not only do we have two intruders inside here but…"

"Wait a minute," said Raven shaking her head in disbelief. "Beast Boy's not alone?!"

"I'm afraid so. I just came from Affection and Happiness's realm and Happiness was the first to discover him and – in her own words – the 'robotnik' walking along the path towards the entrance, and that's only after _she_ discovered that she as well as the rest of your emotions were able to leave their confinements. You see, when Rage pushed you over the edge - as it were - it caused a great strain on your mind, a strain which eventually weakened the barriers that kept the rest of us at bay."

"So, where _is_ Happiness?"

"I'm afraid I don't know. Affection noted that she saw the three of them from afar when they passed through, but then shortly after that, they all left."

"_Great_," said Raven sarcastically. "So now my two teammates, my worst enemy to date and the sickeningly sweet side of me are now running amok in here, and we have no clue as to their whereabouts?"

Intelligence nodded sadly and Raven left out a sigh of exasperation.

"Well then," she started. "Let's go find them. Affection was the last to see them and if they're walking along the path and traveling from realm to realm, then perhaps they haven't passed _us_ yet. Come on."

**In my field of paper flowers  
And candy clouds of lullaby (Paper flowers)  
I lie inside myself for hours  
And watch my purple sky fly over me (Paper flowers)  
**

Raven then marched past Intelligence and entered through the portal that her yellow counterpart came through. When Raven resurfaced, she found herself standing in a realm that easily resembled something out of the mind of Harvey "Two-Face" Dent. The realm was cleanly divided down the middle and to Raven's left was Intelligence's domain – which seemed to represent Raven's bittersweet memories of her studies within Azar's chamber and her leisure time within the Grand Study Hall. There were giant towering bookcases and elegant scroll racks which neatly lined the walls and a massive oakwood table positioned in the center of the space with numerous books stacked neatly in piles. There was also a mustard-colored and plush regal-like chair pushed up beside the table and strategically positioned throughout Intelligence's domain were several iron full-length candelabras. Finally and high on top of the realm was a domed skylight which revealed the dismal red and black sky outside.

Raven's eyes then shifted to her right and she was met with a most repulsive scene. While Intelligence managed to upkeep the appearance of her side, less could be said of her roommate. Her side of the realm looked like a college dorm at its worse. The floor – which was barely visible- was littered with numerous clothes, papers and other discarded items. Over to the side was a mini refrigerator, several muck-stained counters and a sink that was filled to the brim with dirty dishes. Not far from that was a folding lawn chair pushed up to a card table, a rather sizeable bed (which of course was not made), and a couch which faced a blaring television. And there vegging out on its cushions was Raven's sloth. She seemed to not care much about her realm's appearance or hers for that matter for her customary cloak was tossed carelessly over the back of the couch, her hair was rather unkempt and her leotard had several questionable stains upon it.

"How can you live this way?!" said Raven, looking aghast at her orange counterpart. Intelligence merely sighed and turned up her nose from the musty smell in the air. Sloth simply rolled her eyes and fanned Raven off, which in turn fanned her anger. She snapped her fingers, instantly turning the television off.

"Do you mind?" she said firmly. "It's important that I speak with you."

"I really don't care," said Sloth lazily and began blindly reaching for the remote on the opposite side of the couch. Intelligence shook her head at the rudeness of the emotion and Raven, in a fit of rage, sent a wave of crackling energy towards the unlucky television set, decimating it into a million pieces.

"Whatcha do that for!?" screamed Sloth.

"I'll recap it for you: Rage is out disrupting the harmony of how things work around here, two of my teammates accidentally got transported here and could either get seriously hurt or worse, the other emotions are probably running around out of control, and all you care about is watching that idiot box!"

"And you're upset about this because…?"

Raven and Intelligence simultaneously glared at her. Of all the emotions, Sloth was the slowest when it came to grasping things. At the same time however, she was also known for her indifference and sarcasm. In any event, Raven was quickly losing her patience with her.

"Did you see Beast Boy, Cyborg and Happiness or not?" she asked sharply. Sloth shrugged half-heartedly and Raven bit her lip. Intelligence then decided to step in and question Sloth before Raven completely lost it.

"Ok…" she started, pushing back the glasses that seemed to constantly slide down the bridge of her nose. "Did you at least hear or see anything suspicious or out of the ordinary?"

Once again, Sloth shrugged half-heartedly.

"Why am I'm wasting my time here?!" said Raven throwing up her hands into the air. She then stormed out of the realm with Intelligence in quick pursuit.

**Don't say I'm not in touch  
****With this rampant chaos, your reality**

"Raven, wait!"

"What for? That idiot's useless and the clock's ticking away. I'll just try to sense for their location and..."

"No, that's not it Raven. I'm talking about your attitude towards your sloth."

"You can't be serious."

"Very. This is precisely what I was talking to you about earlier, Raven. When you first came here to Earth and placed us all on lockdown, you only set yourself up for more harm than good. Suppressing one emotion or personality trait is bad enough, but to suppress _everything_ you feel has proven to be catastrophic..."

"But…"

"Let me finish," said Intelligence sternly. Raven pursed her lips, but obediently grew silent.

"As I was saying, you're always putting down your feelings and this is mostly due to your knowledge about your demon heritage. It's true that such beings aren't actually capable of understanding feelings, especially those such as love and happiness, and they thrive on the misery and chaos of others. This in turn has led to the frequent power struggle within you and thus makes it all the more harder to control your powers. But you have to realize that a part of you is still human, and as a human, it's not natural -or healthy - to constantly keep thoughts and emotions to yourself. And even though you have worrying traits such as your rage and your sloth, it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. It's just a small part of who you are. You need each and every last one of us to function properly and what's truly important is how all these small parts of you - despite their differences - can still work together as a whole."

**I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge  
The nightmare I built my own world to escape**

Raven was about to respond when a wary Neurotic raced up towards them. She nervously eyed the two teens in front of her and subconsciously glanced over her shoulder as she spoke.

"D-did you see?" she stuttered. "Do you see _it_? He's coming. The reign of darkness is coming..."

_"_What brings you out of your realm?" asked Intelligence, and with good reason too. With her paranoia and fear of strange places, Neurotic should have been terrified to be outside of her realm, let alone to be as far out as where they stood now.

"The order of things here is not right. Rage has ruined everything, and when she left, I was all alone. I don't like Rage…but I don't like to be alone. So I left… but then…things are not right…"

"Neurotic," called Intelligence, trying to break her out of her incessant drivel. "Please. Have you noticed anyone strange walking about in here?"

Neurotic's eyes grew large. She then looked at Raven unsurely.

"Neurotic, please," said Intelligence once more. "I know we all have a habit of not giving what you think or have to say much thought, but right now we really need to hear what you have to say. So, did you see anything that didn't belong here?

"…Two boys…" she whispered. "…Went into Timidity and Bravery's realm…heading for the Forbidden Door…But, there is much danger waiting for them…"

"Danger? What sort of danger."

Neurotic grew silent and refused to speak any further. Intelligence and Raven looked at each other not knowing what to make of her warning. Raven then sighed and took off down the path and towards the next archway which led to Bravery and Timidity's realm. Intelligence started to follow but Raven quickly turned to face her and held out a hand and motioned for her to stop.

"I'll take it from here. I need for you to try and keep things on this end under control. Once I get Beast Boy and Cyborg out of here, I'll deal with any stragglers and Rage."

"But…"

Raven never let her finish her thought and promptly disappeared into the portal. Intelligence huffed with a breath of exasperation and turned to look at Neurotic, who was now staring down at her feet.

"It's like she didn't hear a word I said," she said in annoyance.

"Welcome to my life," murmured Neurotic.

**In my field of paper flowers  
And candy clouds of lullaby (Paper flowers)  
I lie inside myself for hours  
And watch my purple sky fly over me (Paper flowers)  
**

When Raven resurfaced, she found herself standing outside of a colossal maze with towering metal walls. Knowing that time was of the essence, Raven charged ahead - though in a matter of minutes she wished she hadn't. Timidity's domain -as she soon learned - was full of twists and turns, and without a clue as to where she was going, Raven feared that it would take her hours to find her way out. Raven sucked her teeth and surveyed her surroundings once more. She happened to be standing at an intersection within the maze, but she was hesitant to go any further and risk getting even more lost. After a brief moment, Raven eventually chose to take the path to the right and marched on. And fortunately as she rounded the corner, Raven ran into her shy counterpart, who looked more depressed than usual and quite surprised to see someone else in her realm.

"Thank Azar," said Raven almost breathless from all the mayhem. "Timidity, I need you to lead me to the exit. I have to find Beast Boy and Cyborg."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea…"

"Timidity!" said Raven, forcefully taking her by the shoulders. "I don't have time to waste! The boys could get into trouble, and it'll take me too long to find my way out on my own."

Timidity gulped nervously. "They're _already_ in trouble…"

"What?"

"They have awakened the _Curator la Ianua Inconcessus - _the Guardian of the Forbidden Door. I feared for my life…so I left them at the exit."

"Take me there…_**now**_!"

With that, Raven pushed Timidity away from her and the gray cloaked emotion – both saddened that she abandoned the boys when they needed her most and fearful that she had displeased Raven – took off through the maze. Raven made sure to stay close behind her and in no time, they reached the exit. After completing her task, Timidity cowered behind Raven, who watched from afar as Bravery stood along with Beast Boy and Cyborg. Lying at Bravery's feet was a massive pile of stone and rubble and amongst the debris laid a two-faced stone head which easily resembled the tragedy and comedy masks of theatre.

"I see Bravery took care of the Guardian," said Raven quietly to Timidity. "At least until it puts itself back together again."

"Hoo-ah! High fives! Come on!" said Bravery, enthusiastically. She had her hands up in the air as if to coax the boys to high five her. Beast Boy on the other hand stood perplexed with a slacked jaw. He then shook his head vigorously to clear it.

"What is your deal?!" he yelled. "First you nuke breakfast, then you finally laugh at my jokes, then you're all weepy, and now you're a Marine? Make up your mind. _Who are you?!"_

Bravery looked at Beast Boy as if he had two heads. Meanwhile Happiness – who seemed to appear out of nowhere - leapt up alongside of her, and Timidity quietly slinked up to the other side of Bravery.

"I'm Raven," the three answered collectively. Overwhelmed by the sight before him, Beast Boy fainted and Cyborg counted off the three girls standing before him.

"Happy…Timid…Brave."

"You forgot 'Dopey'," giggled Happiness, pointing down at Beast Boy, who rose from the ground.

"Different sides of Raven's personality," said Cyborg. "We're not in Raven's home…"

"We're in her head," said Beast Boy, finally putting two and two together.

"And I want you out..."

Raven dropped in front of Beast Boy and Cyborg and her three replicas faded away. She then began to walk towards them. Part of her was glad that they weren't harmed, but another was annoyed that they were even here in the first part.

"The mirror you found is for meditation. It's a portal into my MIND - NOT A TOY!"

The last four words were aimed at Beast Boy and spoken through gritted teeth. Beast Boy looked on nervously and chuckled.

"My bad."

Not far off from the three stood a dead and mangled tree with red-eyed ravens. Suddenly the birds flew away in a great commotion of squawking and flapping wings. Raven looked on uneasily at the scene.

'_Could this be what Neurotic was trying to warn me about?'_

"You have to go...now," she said out loud.

"Hold up. What's going on here?" asked Cyborg

"Last night, something…got loose. Something…bad."

"Oh, no, you don't!" said Beast Boy, grabbing her. I've had it with this mystery-girl routine. I want to know exactly what we're talking about here."

As if on cue, there was an unholy roaring from a distance and the birds which retreated from the dead tree swarmed towards a huge black vortex formed over the horizon. In time the vortex dissipated, and in its place stood the all-too familiar form of Trigon the Terrible.

"Hatred shall rule," he boomed. Raven looked on in sheer horror as Neurotic's prophetic words finally sunk in.

_'Rage...has allowed Trigon's influence to consume her whole. And now he stands before me…'_

"Let's just say I have issues with my father," answered Raven as all three teens backed away from the Goliath-sized terror before them. Trigon let out a monstrous roar which shook the trio to their very core, and instinctively, Beast Boy and Cyborg took off running. Raven however held her ground. Trigon's glowing eyes then let out a power blast that struck the ground in front of her, forcing her to run for cover. The two male Titans continued their frantic dash towards the Forbidden Door, but were forced to stop to an abrupt stop when a secondary blast from Trigon crashed in front of them.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

Instantly, Raven brought up a shield around her, the boys and the path leading to the Forbidden Door, and just as Trigon shot another blast towards them. The air became filled with great dust and debris, but Raven maintained her focus, and Trigon in turn kept the three in his sights.

"Get out of my mind! Now!" groaned Raven.

"And leave you alone with that?" said Beast Boy.

"Not gonna happen," replied Cyborg, sounding like he was itching for a fight.

"It's my problem. I'll deal with it. If I lose, you'll be stuck in here forever."

Trigon then pulled his hands back, producing a great ball of energy and hurled it at Raven. The attack breached the shield, and a follow-up shot destroyed it altogether. Luckily, Raven still held her ground, her arms crossed to protect her head. She then swung one hand behind her, unleashing a quick burst of her telekinetic power.

"Go!" she screamed at Beast Boy and Cyborg, who went flying towards the glowing red and black portal that stood by the Forbidden Door. Raven then took to the air and towards Trigon, firing black charges of energy at him. The attacks weren't life-threatening and only succeeded in annoying him enough to make him start swatting at her as if she was a fly. He also fired several rounds of his deadly eye blasts, but the elusive maneuvering of Raven made it nearly impossible to catch her. She drifted behind his head, but before she could retaliate, Trigon turns around and nails her with a blast. Raven began to fall endlessly, but was caught in a clawed hand by Trigon.

"Rage shall consume you," he hissed.

"Yo!"

Trigon turned to see Cyborg standing on a nearby mountain ledge, his arm canon locked and loaded.

"Sounds like somebody needs a time-out."

Trigon raised an arm which blocked Cyborg's first blast. However this also left his chest wide open. He also never considered that Cyborg would be able to fire a second assault so quickly after the first. As Cyborg's blast connected with him, Trigon stumbled backwards, letting go of a semi-conscious Raven in the process, and toppled over the edge of the asteroid on which he stood on and into deep space. Raven tumbled back down to the earth, but Beast Boy (in hawk form) dove down after her. His sharp talons caught hold of her shoulder and as she came to, the two came to a much softer landing below.

"You stayed?" asked a puzzled Raven. "I thought you didn't like me."

"Thought you didn't like _me_," he retorted. Raven smiled lightly, but the tender moment between the two of them was interrupted by Cyborg.

"Yo, I like both of you. Now get your butts over here!"

Beast Boy and Raven turned to see Trigon slowly rising from the abyss behind Cyborg.

"Feel my fury!"

Trigon then sent a blast towards Cyborg who ran for cover and Raven and Beast Boy (in pterodactyl form) each took to the air once more. The airborne duo quickly went after Trigon while Cyborg returned fire on his cannon, all the while dodging the frenzied blasts from a peeved-off Trigon. Eventually Trigon's bombardment of attacks proved to be too much for Cyborg and once again, he was sent running for his life. Beast Boy flew in and grabbed Cyborg out of harm's way while Raven gestured for them to follow her. The trio quickly and quietly went to hide behind a small ridge and peered over to see Trigon scouting the area for them.

**Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming  
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights**

"He's too strong," said Raven. "Even with your help, I cannot defeat him."

"So call for backup!" said Cyborg. "What about all those other 'yous'?"

"Yeah, the green one kinda kicked butt," said Beast Boy.

"It still wouldn't be enough," said Raven sadly. "None of my other sides have the kind of power we need."

**Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming  
The goddess of imaginary light**

"Not alone, but what about together? They're all part of who you are, right?"

Raven looked at Beast Boy's beaming face. _'Since when did he get so profound?'_ she thought.

"Go for it!" cheered Cyborg. "We got your back."

Beast Boy gave her an encouraging nod, and he and Cyborg charged off to distract Trigon. Raven smiled faintly as the voice of Intelligence rang in her ears…

"_You need each and every last one of us to function properly…"_

"_All these small parts of you - despite their differences - can still work together as a whole…"_

Raven then crossed her arms in front of herself as a sudden gust of wind began to blow. Her eyes began to glow white, and all Raven's emotions came into view.

"Ladies…we've got work to do…"

Intelligence, Affection, Happiness and Bravery smiled. Timidity and Neurotic nodded. Sloth simply dug something out of her ear and let out an unladylike belch. Amazingly, Raven didn't even have to explain what had to be done. Instinctively the seven emotions scattered and went to form a large circle around Raven.

'_We have to work together to stop her and the only way to do that… is to become one…'_

All eight entities then took to the air and began to hover several feet above the ground. As they did once before, the emotions started to spin around Raven, and steadily increased in speed, moving faster and faster until they appeared to be a blur of colors. A brilliant white light overcame them all, and when it settled, Raven slowly floated back down to the ground. This time however, she donned a white leotard and white cloak. Raven then phased in behind Trigon, who was having the time of his life taking cheap shots at Beast Boy and Cyborg. Raven then hurled a wave of black energy which then transformed to form a band that encircled Trigon.

"You are going back where you belong!" bellowed Raven.

"Never!" screamed Trigon defiantly and effortlessly broke loose of his binds.

**In my field of paper flowers  
And candy clouds of lullaby (Paper flowers)  
I lie inside myself for hours  
And watch my purple sky fly over me (Paper flowers)  
**

Raven rose into the air and with her arms extended in front of her, black crackling energy poured forth from her hands, eyes and mouth. Quick to go on the defensive, Trigon went to send two large beams of yellowish energy towards her. The two energies eventually meet at a point between them and they canceled out; instantly turning the two attacks into a tug-of-war match. As the balance point shifted back and forth between them, Beast Boy and Cyborg - who had had their hands full trying to keep a flock of ravens from attacking them - stopped to watch.

**Aaah... Paper flowers  
****Aaah... Paper flowers**

Eventually Raven began to gain some ground on Trigon and with one final effort, she sent her attack surging towards him. A blinding flash met the Titans eyes and when it died down, the weakened form of Rage floated down to stand a ways off from Raven. She lifted her head to reveal her ominous red eyes.

_'You may have one the battle, but the war rages on,'_ she hissed to Raven telepathically.

Her body then disintegrated into a bolt of crackling energy which went to merge with Raven. The contact between the two sent up a smokescreen and Raven cried out. When the smoke cleared, Raven was back in her tradition black leotard and blue cloak, and she was doubled over as if she was in pain. She then straightened up only to collapse backwards a few moments later from fatigue. Luckily for her however, Cyborg and Beast Boy were standing nearby to catch her.

"We gotcha," said Cyborg. "It's okay," said Beast Boy as he and Cyborg set Raven back onto her feet. Raven blushed slightly.

'_I don't believe it. They were almost killed today, and when I offered them a chance to get away, they stayed to help me. I guess I owe the others more credit than I give them. And, even though Beast Boy sometimes comes off as inconsiderate, he really is ok to be around…'_

"Thank you…friends," she said.

"So…we really are friends?" asked Beast Boy, a little unsure about his standing with her.

"Mmm-hmm."

"And you really think I'm funny?"

Raven's smile quickly faded.

"Don't push it..."


	16. Chapter 16: Hello

**1290 hits. Thanks for sticking by me, readers. After this chapter (which I'll admit is not my best work), we will officially be at the halfway mark of Raven: Soundtrack of My Life. Keep in mind that because the story solely centers around the episodes that starred Raven (or at least dealt with her relationship with the Titans), it may seem as if things are now moving at an extremely fast pace (and thus a lot of non-Raven events/episodes will be either briefly mentioned or bypassed altogether). On the other hand, you'll also notice that Raven's 'emotions' start to play a larger role as the end draws near.**

**Anyway, please read and review – and would it kill you folks to vote in the poll on my profile page or drop me a line at my forum? I like to get the readers involved in my projects and it'll also give me an idea when choosing which Titan that my next fanfic will be about…**

* * *

CHAPTER 16

Dawn peaked over the horizon of Jump City, but today was clearly not the start of an average day for the female Titans. For starters, Raven and Starfire found themselves walking along in the dark and mucky sewage system that linked Titans Tower to the rest of Jump City. Second, the Tower's security system had been breached several hours ago and their teammates had been kidnapped. And last but most importantly, the girls were - to say the least - not feeling like themselves. Raven for instance, grumbled as she looked down at her body. She was now several inches taller and wore a violet outfit with lavender accents that exposed her tanned arms and midriff. She also wore an armband and long matching violet boots that came up to her thighs. Raven then glanced over at what would had normally been her own reflection: a girl with pale skin, violet eyes and hair who wore a black leotard and blue cloak and boot. The girl opposite of Raven then let out a deep sigh.

"I wish we could venture out into the light of the sun," said the voice of Starfire. "It is most unpleasant in here and I fear…"

At that Raven (or rather Starfire) let a scream as something ran across her foot and the entire canal shook by means of telekinesis. Raven groaned and turned to look at Starfire, who smiled nervously.

'_How do I get myself into these situations?'_

_Yesterday afternoon had started off rather quiet in Titans Tower. After breakfast (and a lengthy discussion of the previous day's events - courtesy of Beast Boy), Robin had suggested that he and the others head out for a day in the city - and thereby granting Raven some much needed 'space'. This of course pleased Raven and soon after they left, she promptly filed into the common area to begin meditating. Truth be told, Raven actually preferred to have her mediation sessions in the common area, since it was well ventilated and the gorgeous view from the windows of the city skyline helped her maintain a tranquil state. Before she even realized it, Raven was well into her second hour of meditation and for the first time in a long while, she was really starting to feel good about herself. Then, __it__ happened... _

"_Raven?" asked a warm, gentle voice. _

_Raven frowned as the mental image of her hovering in Quiescence disappeared from view and she found herself once again sitting in the common area. Her peace and quiet had been abruptly shattered, and it was all due to the one person Raven had a very limited patience for…_

"_Raven? Please forgive my interruption, but have you seen Robin?"_

"_No," said Raven sharply, never turning around in hope that the interloper would quickly leave her be. 'Why is she here anyway? Did the guys turn their day out into a 'Boys Only' thing or did they forget about her?'_

"_Yeah, right," said Bravery's voice. "A couple of guys overlooking a gal looking like her? Un-like-ly…"_

'_Shut up…'_

"_Oh…" said Starfire sadly. "Perhaps you have seen Cyborg?"_

"_No."_

"_Beast Boy?"_

"_My eyes are closed, Starfire, I haven't seen anyone." _

"…_They must be doing the hanging out someplace."_

'_No kidding...'_

"_Perhaps we should do the hanging out…" _

'_No…way…' _

"_We never have before…" _

'_So why start now?' _

"…_and conceivably it could be fun…"_

'_As if…'_

"_We might journey to the mall of shopping, or perform braiding maneuvers upon each other's hair, or…"_

_If Raven seemed annoyed before, she was ready to completely lose it right then and there. Her eyes appeared to be bugging out and her face was set in a fierce grimace. _

_"You wish to be alone?" said Starfire, quickly backing away. Though naïve, Starfire was still able to sense Raven's annoyance and she clearly did not wish for Raven to lose control without there being anyone else around to protect her. _

_"How could you tell?" said Raven sarcastically and quickly regained her composure. Starfire sadly floated away (more than likely into the kitchen to busy herself), while Raven went back to meditating. However it wasn't long before the doors suddenly burst open and the three male Titans entered with Cyborg carrying a large wooden crate. _

"_MAIL CALL!!" he hollered, jarring Raven from her trance and startling her so badly that she crashed down to the floor. _

"_Robin! Cyborg! Beast Boy!" beamed Starfire, who hurriedly flew over to greet them. "You are back! It was…quiet while you were gone."_

"_Not that quiet," scowled Raven._

"_Check it out," boasted Beast Boy as the crate was set down on top of the kitchen table. The others meanwhile gathered around it in eager anticipation. "This was sitting by the front door. Fan mail—probably a gift from one of my many admirers."_

_Raven rolled her eyes. 'I can't believe I actually thought there was an insightful fiber in his body.'_

"_Actually, it doesn't say who it's from," said Robin, who was bent over looking carefully at the crate. Cyborg meanwhile reached over them to grab hold of the lid. _

"_Well, one way to find out." _

_He then took off the lid, and he as well as Robin and Starfire, who giggled merrily, peeked inside._

"_Whoa!"_

"_Cool!"_

"_Honestly, I was kinda hoping for chocolate," said Beast Boy dejectedly as he peered in. Raven raised a curious eyebrow and was surprised when each of her teammates pulled out miniature marionette copies of themselves. _

"_Aww, isn't that cute?" said Cyborg. "Puppet Cy has a light-up eye. "_

"_Yeah," said an impressed Robin, fooling around with his puppet's utility belt buckle. "They got all the details just right."_

"_Speak for yourself," said Beast Boy. "I'm way better looking than this—and taller."_

_Raven eventually walked over to take a look at hers and she had to agree that whoever made the marionettes had an amazing eye for detail. Raven's for instance had a little cape and cowl like herself and when she pulled back the puppet's hood, she discovered that her unique hairline complete with her forehead chakra had also been duplicated._

"_Someone certainly has a lot of time on their hands."_

_Starfire giggled as she began to play with her marionette. "I have never seen such a whimsical device." While Starfire carried on her one-woman puppet show, Beast Boy and the others initiated a marionette melee and soon all three boys (or rather their puppets) were busy kicking and karate chopping the others. Raven however looked on at her peers in disapproval._

'_I forgot how juvenile these guys can get...'_

"_Shall my tiny replica do battle with your tiny replica?" asked Starfire, walking over to Raven. Raven just glared at her._

"_Knock yourself out," she murmured, tossing her marionette behind her back towards Starfire, and the Tamaranian looked on in confusion as Raven swiftly exited the common area._

"_Raven, what is the matter with you?" inquired Intelligence as the common area doors hissed shut. "Where did all this hostility come from all of a sudden?"_

"_Isn't it clear as to why Raven, oh I don't know…dislikes her so much?" asked a cheeky and most amused Rage._

'_No one is asking you…' frowned Raven, who promptly phased into her bedroom. 'In fact, you're on probation so you shouldn't even be talking to anyone right now.'_

"_Whatever…"_

"_Really though, that wasn't nice," retorted Intelligence. "In fact it's downright hypocritical. You just finished telling Beast Boy and the others that you never mean to snap at them for disturbing you and now you look as if you're ready to take the poor girl's head off."_

'_That's…because…I…can't…stand her.'_

"_But why? Why do you have such a problem with her?"_

"_I believe Rage has already touched on that point," said the calm voice of Affection. "For you see, when it comes to winning the attentions of a certain little birdie, Starfire is a very… potential rival…"_

"_Oh Azar…" said Raven and Intelligence collectively, though each for different reasons._

"_I'm just being honest here."_

"_Well this just won't do," said Intelligence. "This absolutely will not do. Infatuation or not, you simply cannot allow your jealousy to..."_

'_Now who's being hypocritical? You lecture me about suppressing my feelings, and now that I'm voicing how I feel about something, you're trying to hold me back?!'_

"_If it keeps you from possibly doing someone else bodily harm!"_

_Raven gasped. Throughout her tirade with her emotions, Raven had failed to notice that several items in her room had taken to the air, and during Intelligence's outburst the items had fallen to the floor. Raven sighed and walked over to clean up the mess._

"_Look," said Intelligence. "I understand how Robin makes you feel. But you also have to remember that you have a duty to your team and your city. So on a personal note, try not to let the animosity you feel towards Starfire affect your work performance and the dynamics within the team. There'll come a time when you have to confide in her to survive, and if you two can't see eye to eye, well I can't imagine the consequences…"_

'_My Intelligence just had to go on and jinx me…'_ thought Raven to herself. _'I mean who would have thought that a strange being known as the Puppet King would sneak into the tower, use a complex mixture of voodoo, soul transferring and possession to swap our bodies with our so-called gifts, only so that he could use our stolen powers to overtake the city? And now that I tried to prevent him from stealing our powers, I've now been cursed to be confined in Starfire's body and she in turn is inside mine? I can't take this!'_

Indeed, having been transferred accidentally into the other's body by dark magic and worried for both their kidnapped teammates and their own safety, tensions between the girls were running high. For the pass two hours, Raven had been trying to formulate an idea as on how to defeat the Puppet King but aside from reaching the conclusion that she had to somehow gain access to his magical crosspiece, she was a loss on what to do next. Starfire was little - if any - help on the matter, and Raven found herself constantly pacifying the panic-stricken alien and keeping her from using her powers from destroying them both…

"You know, Starfire," said Raven as Starfire shook her foot, the feeling of the waterbug that ran across her foot apparently still fresh in her mind. "The very meaning of the word 'stealth' is 'secrecy; to do something in order to avoid detection'. How then can we travel _undetected_ if you're screaming and blowing something up every ten seconds?"

"I apologize once more. It's just…"

With that the entire sewer canal rumbled once more, and Starfire's newfound powers caused an overhead manhole cover to blow sky-high. Raven sighed as Starfire ran for the ladder and began to climb out of the tunnel, and she quickly followed after her.

"Oh, Raven! This is awful! Terribly, horribly awful!"

"Tell me about it…"

"Very well. Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy have been trapped inside tiny wooden bodies…"

While Starfire was frantically going down the list of things that had gone wrong, her borrowed powers went haywire. As the two walked down the street, several parking meters met their fate and doubled over...

" …while a nasty creature called the Puppet King has taken control of their real bodies…"

…while several newspaper boxes spew their contents in every which way…

"…which he is using to hunt us down…"

…and the nearby mailbox disintegrated into a crumpled mess.

"…and you and I are in the wrong bodies and…"

Raven had enough. Even at her worse she could never think of a time when she allowed her powers to do this much damage. Raven then firmly grasped Starfire's shoulder, startling a gasp from her but successfully also stopping her bout of chaos.

"Starfire! You _have_ to calm down. My powers are driven by emotion. The more you feel, the more energy you unleash."

"But what if they find us? What if our friends are doomed? What if I am stuck looking like _this _forever?"

"We'll fix it. I don't know how, but we _will_ rescue the boys and we will get our bodies back..." Suddenly, Raven caught the last thing Starfire said and frowned.

"What's wrong with the way I look?"

"Nothing!" said Starfire all too hastily. To prove her wrong, the pedestrian crossing signal above their heads suddenly exploded, and Raven frowned at Starfire once more.

'_Flat-chested airhead…I'm none too thrilled looking like this either…'_

"I will _try_ to calm down," exhaled Starfire, who closed her eyes to meditate. "Peace…quiet…tranquil…"

_**BAM!**_ The parked car next to them was launched straight into the air and crashed back to the ground seconds later, its obnoxious alarm blaring away.

"We are so doomed," moaned Raven. Just then, a bird cry was heard from overhead and the girls looked up to see a green hawk circling over them.

"Beast Boy!" shouted Starfire.

"You mean Zombie Beast Boy. Run!"

The girls took off down a nearby alleyway as the Titan gone rogue dove in behind them with his razor sharp talons extended. He missed and the girls continued their getaway through the alley's numerous twists and turns. As they ran, Raven - who was not comfortable being on the ground with an aerial pursuer out on the loose- started to jump and flap her arms in a vain attempt to get off the ground.

"We cannot fight them again," said Starfire. "I do not wish to, and in our present condition we would surely be defeated."

"Okay, how do you fly this thing?" quipped Raven, gesturing at herself.

"You must feel flight."

"…What?"

"When you feel the unbridled joy of flight, you will fly."

Raven just looked at her. "'Unbridled joy?' Not really my thing."

"Look!" gasped Starfire, and the girls turned to the mouth of the alley to see Beast Boy - in tiger form - racing towards them.

"What do I have to feel to use starbolts?" asked Raven, preparing to fight.

"Righteous fury."

"Your alien strength?"

"Boundless confidence."

"…Never mind…" frowned Raven as she ran back the way they came and grabbed Starfire. _'Great. Her powers are governed by emotions, but they're ridiculously useless at the same time…'_

As the girls raced throughout the alley, Beast Boy -and eventually Robin – followed in pursuit. When they reached a darkened side passage, Raven and Starfire dove in and watched in relief as Beast Boy and Robin raced by without noticing them. However that moment of liberation quickly faded as Cyborg crashed through the wall behind them, sending the terrified girls running again. Several rounded corners later, the girls came to a dead end and looked on in fear as their former friends closed in on them from behind.

"If I can't fly, you have to levitate," said Raven. "You know those words I always…"

"Yes!" exclaimed Starfire, hurriedly taking a huge breath.

"Wait! You have to focus!"

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

Starfire instantly shot up into the air, dragging a somewhat hesitant Raven by the hand. Raven screamed in terror as the two barreled recklessly in the air and away from the other Titans.

"Oh suck it up, crybaby" said the voice of Bravery. "You take to the air all the time."

"But not like this!" said a frightened Timidity. "This girl's trying to kill us. Please make her put us down!"

'_I'm afraid that's not a good idea right now. We ought to wait until we're out of eyesight.'_

Once they were a ways off, Starfire turned back to Raven.I wish to stop! Please tell me the way to stop!"

"Look at the ground and imagine…"

Starfire looked down at the city below, and Raven felt herself go pale.

"WAIT!!" But she was too late, and the duo dropped like a rock into a huge pile of trash between two rundown buildings. While she was grateful that something broke her fall, garbage bags with questionable smells and contents for safety mattresses didn't make Raven feel any better. As she struggled to free herself, Raven heard something in the distance and quickly set off to piling bags of garbage to create a makeshift berm.

"Ugh! I smell like the breath of a Snervian blork worm. Raven, what are you…"

"Shhh!"

The two dove down behind the wall of garbage just as sentries Cyborg and Robin walked by in search of them. Moments later, Beast Boy – in the form of a rat – scouted the area as well and just when he was exceptionally close to discovering the girls, the Puppet King appeared.

"Enough!" he shouted, causing the hypnotized Titans to quickly assemble in front of him. "We will catch the other two after the ceremony is complete." He then glanced down at the marionette puppets of the male Titans he held.

"Ceremony?" said the muffled voice of Robin from his puppet look-alike. "What ceremony?" said the muffled voice of Cyborg from his.

"Just a little spell that will destroy you three and make your bodies mine forever..."

With those ominous words, the Puppet King, the captive Titans and the hypnotized Titans disappeared into the shadows. Once the coast was clear, the girls climbed out from their smelly concealment.

"How can you stand having this much hair?" said Raven, struggling to untangle her red hair.

"Quickly, Raven! Our friends are in danger! We must follow and…"

"And what? Save them with my unusable powers while your unbridled emotions blow us to bits? Nice flying, by the way."

A black aura of energy surrounded Starfire as she angrily glared at Raven, who turned her back towards her. "At least I am _able_ to fly. On my planet, even a newborn can unleash the joy of flight. But you are too busy being grumpy and rude to feel anything at all!"

Raven was irate. _'How dare she think that I actually enjoy being moody! I swear if I was back in my own body, she'd be nothing but a puddle right now!'_

"Maybe you haven't noticed," said Raven calmly. "But my emotions are dangerous. I can't afford to feel anything. You may have my body, but you know _nothing_ about me."

Starfire lowered her head. "Perhaps you are right."

Raven turned around to face her. _'She actually agrees with me?'_

"If you and I are to overcome this ordeal, we must know everything about each other. So…begin sharing."

Raven smiled lightly. After all if they had any chance of saving themselves and the boys, Raven would have to explain how her powers worked and in turn Starfire would too…

"All right," said Raven knelling on the ground, while Starfire sat in her traditional lotus position…

**Playground school bell rings again  
Rain clouds come to play again  
Has no one told you she's not breathing?  
**

"I was born in a place called Azarath. There, I was an outcast because others feared my powers and only my mother Arella, a woman named Azar and her friend Coman were kind enough to help teach me how to control my powers - which like yours - is influenced by emotions. At an early age I was taught to always keep my emotions and thoughts in check, and so for me to just _feel_ something and feel something positive is rather hard, not because I don't want do, but because…"

Raven's voice trailed off and she bit her lip. Starfire looked on sadly. "It's just …It's so foreign to me. People have been saying bad things about me since the day I was born, so I don't really know how to think positive about anything. And I hate that I can't express myself the way I should and would like to…the way you do. You _always _seem so happy, Star, and I guess I've always been a little jealous of that. You can feel different things and not risk blowing something up or having someone hate you…"

**Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to  
Hello…**

Raven's voice trailed off again and Starfire reach over to grasp her shoulders. "Friend Raven, I apologize for being under the assumption that you deliberately choose to be mean to others. It must be hard to live this way. But you are also wrong."

**If I smile and don't believe  
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream**

"What do you mean?"

"Well I wish not for you to feel jealousy for me. I am happy by nature, but my past is not as pleasant as one might think. Do you remember when we first became acquainted?"

"Who could forget that? You were captured by an invading alien race. You escaped and came here to Earth."

"Indeed. Several moons ago, there was a great war on my homeland Tamaran between the Gordanians, one that had been raging ever since I was a bumgorf. And, much to my people's dismay, we eventually lost the war, and for Blackfire and I, our parents and our younger brother. Then, we were betrayed by those we once thought to be our friends and were sold to the Gordanians…as...as…

"Slaves?"

"That would be one way to look at it, but it was much worse than that … They separated me from the only blood relative I had left in existence. I was called horrible things, and then what they did to me…what they _stole_ from me…"

**Don't try to fix me I'm not broken  
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide  
Don't cry…**

Starfire gulped down the bitterness that had so quickly boiled up from inside her, and in that instant, Raven found herself having a mutual understanding to the older girl's plight in life.

"I guess I should apologize too," said Raven hesitantly.

"Whatever for?"

"For assuming that just because you're a happy person, you also don't understand what it's like to be sad or what life is like for an outcast. And when you think about it, it's really stupid on my part since we both live in a world different from our homes, and neither of us really knows our place here."

"True. But then when I am feeling lost, I force myself to think about what my parents would do. I recall how when our way of life was dying, they refused to let it go without a fight and even sacrificed themselves to save me and my siblings. I also recall how they instilled in us how that even when things are at their bleakest, hope is what can keep us thriving. One cannot handle the trials ahead in life if they let insecurities or everything that is negative distract them."

"That's something Azar once told me."

"And she was wise to do so." Starfire then began fidgeting with her cape. "And I believe that it would be wise if I could learn the proper way to harness your powers."

Raven nodded. "Well as I mentioned, I used to live in Azarath. My mantra loosely translates into the saying 'my power comes from Azarath'. Sometimes I can use my powers without quoting it, but other times – like in battle- a certain move may require more focus or energy, and that is the time to recite it. You have to always remain calm since the tiniest thing can cause the magic to spike. You also have to be focused and you have to concentrate on only the object you wish to move, and then you envision yourself doing it."

"I see. My powers are somewhat different. While you clearly must remain collected, in my culture it is actually best to let everything you are thinking and feeling run unbridled. The feeling of flight is a carefree and happy feeling and while you may not be happy about doing battle with others, the joy of having the battle end and you having saved innocent lives helps inspire me to fly. It is the same when I use my starbolts. Fury when unchecked is dangerous, but righteous fury towards those that do wrong and harm the weak is justifiable. And despite losing the Gordanian War, my people are known throughout the galaxy to be a legendary race of warriors. This pride for my ancestors gives me the boundless confidence needed to take action when it is most needed."

"Starfire, I plan to put them all of this knowledge and advice to good use."

Raven then got up from off her knees and started to walk away, and Starfire hurriedly rose to follow her.

"Where are you going? We have no knowledge as on where to find the others!"

"Not true. If the Puppet King is as clichéd as most villains prove to be, he'll chose a location that centers on a theme he can relate to. And since he's obsessed with marionettes and puppet shows…"

"He's headed for the vacated theatre of Bijou!" gasped Starfire. Raven nodded. "And we have to hurry. He talked about performing a ceremony, and odds are that it's irreversible. We have to save the boys before it's too late…"

**Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping  
Hello, I'm still here  
All that's left of yesterday…**

Several hours later, Raven found herself back in her own body, and she was meditating once more in the common area of Titans Tower. The rescue mission that she and Starfire launched earlier that day had been successful: the boys were returned safely to their own bodies and the Puppet King got his just desserts. His enchanted crosspiece had gotten destroyed in the battle, and the magic that made him alive disappeared and he in turn became a regular inanimate marionette. As Raven continued her meditation, she couldn't help but think about how so much had changed within the last few hours.

'_I really had Starfire mapped out all wrong. I'm still jealous with what she quote unquote has with Robin, but I can't deny that I have a deeper respect for her as a person now that I know she's not all about rainbows and butterflies.'_

"Which sounds a lot like something I had to try and bring to your attention ages ago," said the voice of Intelligence.

'_Yeah. I suppose you were right about keeping the peace with her. She's actually not so bad to be around, and there's a thing or two that I could learn from her.'_

"When have I _ever _been wrong about something?"

'_Good point.'_

"Raven," came the familiar voice of Starfire. She softly approached Raven's meditations"Forgive my interruption, but…"

"I haven't seen Robin, Cyborg, or Beast Boy."

"Truthfully…I am wishing to join you in meditation."

"Really?" Raven turned around to get a good look at her face, and saw that she was most sincere.

"All right…"

Starfire smiled and flew over to assume Raven's stance.

"Find your center…" coached Raven. "Focus your energies and…"

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos…" the two chanted together. As they meditated, Raven opened one eye to watch Starfire, her 'newly' discovered friend, and surprisingly found it in her heart to make a suggestion that she normally would've never made on her own freewill…

"Starfire?"

"Yes?"

"After this…would you like to go to the mall?"


	17. Chapter 17: The Only One

**1450 hits… **

CHAPTER 17

With the proverbial hatchet buried between Raven and Starfire, life in Titans' Tower resumed back to normal, and just like times past, the days of the Titans were met with both trials and joys. The Titans for example met a fledgling and (according to Raven and Starfire) a rather handsome superhero by the name of Aqualad when investigating a series of crimes along the Pacific Ocean. They also came across the Mad Mod, an eccentric British man who sought revenge on the Titans for constantly thwarting other villians' schemes. And the bond between Cyborg and Raven grew when the T-Car, Cyborg's most recent creation was stolen and Raven assisted not only in its recovery, but with the repairs as well. Beast Boy also got his fill in teasing Raven during this timeframe about her obvious attraction to Aqualad and the fact that she was often observed smiling while helping with the T-Car repairs. He even implied that Raven might actually like Cyborg. This of course prompted Raven to hurt – er - _punish _Beast Boy, and with that, the tradition of her hurling him out of windows and over the roof of Titans Tower whenever he annoyed her began. All in all,it seemed that for once, things were actually going right for Raven. However, she of all people also knew that nothing's forever in this world, and that the peace among Titans Tower would be shattered by a new villain. The only thing that she wasn't expecting was just how close to home this villain really was…

It all started one evening about two months after the 'Switched' incident and while the team was investigating a lead that the notorious Slade had access to a chronoton detonator, a device which upon being triggered would stop time…permanently. The concept made little sense to Raven, since throughout their battles, Slade had made it clear that he wished to take over the city, but in the end Raven concluded that this was probably just a stepping stone towards a larger plan. Besides, there were other pressing matters to attend to. In the past, each time when Robin and Slade would cross paths, the Boy Wonder would become aggressive, sometimes to the point where it was an obsession for him to defeat Slade. In fact, the last time the two tangoed, Robin went as far as posing as a double agent under the alias Red X to try and take Slade down. However, Robin was quickly discovered, both by the enemy and his team, and the mission was a total failure. And now, Robin had gone AWOL _once again_ during a mission in pursuit of his archenemy. Needless to say, Raven was worried about him, and so was Starfire…

"Robin?" she called into her communicator as the other Titans approached her. The team was on a rather empty street in the heart of the city and it was late afternoon. Their pursuit of the chronoton detonator had been (for lack of a better word) a wild goose chase, and the machine they discovered in the depths of the sewer system was fake.

"Robin? Robin, please respond! Why does he not answer?"

"His locator's been deactivated," commented Cyborg. "We have no way to find him."

"Not good," added Beast Boy.

"Robin, please," cried Starfire, her attention once again directed towards her communicator. "You must answer. Robin! Please respond! Robin, where are you?"

"I don't like the feel of this at all," said Raven. "Maybe we better split up and look for him."

"Good idea," said Cyborg. "We'll cover more ground that way, and maybe we'll figure out what was the deal with that phony chronoton detonator."

It was agreed upon, and for the next forty-five minutes, Starfire, who searched the city by air, incessantly pleaded for Robin to respond back, and the remaining Titans went their separate ways to in search of their leader. Eventually, Raven, who had returned to Titans Towers to survey the whole city at once couldn't take the anxiety any more and chirped Starfire on her communicator.

"Starfire, _enough_. You've been calling for forty-five minutes."

"Perhaps if I just try one more…"

"Come on, Star," said Beast Boy's voice over the com. "If he's gonna pick up, he'd have done it by now. 'Sides, you're kinda giving me a headache."

"But why does he not respond? Where could he be?"

"Robin and Cinderblock definitely went a few rounds," said Cyborg, who had returned to the sewer where the nightmare began for clues. "But I can't tell who won, or where they went."

"No sign of him here, either," replied Raven. "His locator is still offline. I've been monitoring all the frequencies, but he hasn't checked in."

"Oh, we are bad friends!" said a devastated Starfire. "We should never have left Robin to do battle alone."

"Yeah, especially since Slade's big doodad was a dud," replied Beast Boy.

"The chronoton detonator wasn't a dud," retorted Raven, who analyzed a computer schematic of the fake detonator given to her by Cyborg. "It was a decoy to lure us away from Robin…and we fell for it."

The sound of Cyborg groaning and slamming a fist against the sewer tunnel wall could be clearly heard. "I shoulda known that thing was a fake!"

"But why?" questioned Starfire. "Why did Slade wish to separate us from Robin?"

"And if the detonator was a decoy…" pondered Beast Boy.

"…What was Slade's real plan?" finished Raven. _'Once again, the pieces to the puzzle just aren't fitting together. And what's worse is that Robin is lying somewhere hurt…or worse, and I feel helpless. I __hate__ feeling helpless… Azar above, give me a sign that he's ok…'_

Suddenly, the common area room was basked in red light and the alarm began to blare. It was the tell-tale sign that trouble was afoot. **"**Titans! Trouble!" rang Cyborg's voice over the com.

"Reports show that a silent alarm was triggered over at Farley Laboratories over on the north side of town," reported Raven.

"Roger that!"

"Affirmative!"

"Reading you loud and clear…"

Though worried over Robin's well-being, Raven knew that her feelings would have to wait until later. Right now, she had business to attend to. Raven then summoned her soul-self and stealthily exited the Tower. Over on the north side of Jump City, Raven reappeared near to a tall circular building with an observation deck set a story or two below its roof. As she surveyed the area, she noted that several armed guards were in pursuit of the thief and the stolen merchandise. Moments later, Starfire and Beast Boy appear, and Cyborg, who was on foot, was the last on the scene.

"Raven, what's your take on the situation?" asked Cyborg. Raven closed her eyes and rested her hands upon her head. Seconds later, her eyes reopened and she turned to face the others.

"The culprit made off with some sort of weapon, and whoever it is, he's pretty good at stealth. The guards lost track of him and he's basically right under their noses. He's hiding out along the far side wall."

The Titans nodded and took off for the plotted location, and as Raven noted, a shadowy figure soon dropped down from hanging upside on the roof of the upper walkway and had started to make a break for it. However he skidded to a stop when Beast Boy and Starfire stepped in front of him.

"Freeze!" cried Cyborg, as he and Raven ran up behind them. The thief however made no inclination to do so and bolted down the walkway. "You didn't say Simon says," laughed Beast Boy feebly, who then was slapped upside the head by Raven. "Let's go, team!" said Cyborg and the four Titans gave chase. The chase eventually came to an end when the thief realized that he was nearing the end of the rooftop. It was a very long drop to the street below and the only other means of escape would be to backtrack – and therefore risk running head-on into the Teen Titans. The thief then stopped in his tracks and turned to face them, and the Titans for the first time got a good look at the thief in the light. He was a teenaged boy about maybe fifteen or sixteen years old, and he wore an outfit similar to the make and color scheme of Slade's: black gloves, steel guards for his wrists, shoulders, shins and knees, a black body suit with the left side of his chest in a reddish-orange hue and a matching steel metal neck piece and utility belt. But the icing on the cake was the silver 'S' insignia over his heart, and when the Titans' eyes scrolled up to observe his face…

"That's not Slade," said a confused Beast Boy. "That's…"

"…Robin," said Starfire.

"Whoa!" was all Cyborg could muster out.

"Robin, why are you…"

Robin abruptly cut Starfire off with the throw of what resembled one of Slade's deadly explosives, which promptly went off in her face. Startled and unprepared, Starfire screamed as the blast sent her reeling backwards down the walkway, while the other Titans looked on in confusion.

"Yo!" shouted Cyborg. "

"What is your deal?" replied Beast Boy.

_'Robin?'_ said Raven to herself. She then tried to intercept if there was any mind control devices or spells inflicted on him, and was devastated when her search came up empty.

'_Robin, why are you doing this?'_

The four Titans then began to close in as Robin raised the thermal blaster – the device he just stole – and he fired at the stretch of walkway between him and them. The resulting explosion stopped the Titans short. **"**What are you doing?!" cried Cyborg as smoke and debris flew up into the air and conveniently masked Robin's retreating form. When the haze faded away, so had Robin, and Starfire and the others looked on in defeat.

"Robin…"

"Seriously! Dude!" said a flabbergasted Beast Boy.

"Something is most certainly amiss with our Robin," said Starfire. "We must solve this mystery at once!"

"I agree, and we won't find the answers standing around here," said Cyborg. "So after the cops get here, we'll regroup at home and come up with something."

'_Come up with what?'_ thought Raven, as she and the others walked off to met up with the laboratory staff and security guards. _'He was doing this on his own freewill. I knew Robin could be fanatical when it came to Slade, but to fully cross the line between good and evil? This is all a bit much to take in one sitting…'_

* * *

_**You know you're not the only one…**_

**When they all come crashing down in midflight  
You know you're not the only one **

"Okay. The way I see it," said Beast Boy, who much to Raven's annoyance was dressed in Sherlock Holmes-like garb as he stood before the Titans in the common area of Titans' Tower. "…There are only two logical explanations. One…"

**When they're so alone, they find a back door out of life  
You know you're not the only one**

At this point, Beast Boy went on to explain his outlandish sci-fi theories about Robin's going rogue, and what he said pretty much went unheard by Raven. She was still very much in thought about what had happened a few hours ago and she was almost sick to her stomach because of it.

_'I respected Robin for his heroism when it came to fighting evil and injustice. So, what does it say to me when he turns around and forsakes everything he once stood for? That it was all a sham? That it's all pointless? Was I foolish to think that I in turn had any hope of defeating __my__ archenemy, if Robin couldn't even withstand a mortal man?'_

Raven once again turned her attention to Beast Boy's presentation and made a face that almost mirrored Cyborg's, one that clearly thought that Beast Boy was the dumbest soul to ever walk the earth

**We're all grieving, lost and bleeding**

"As logical as that sounds," started Raven. "If anything was controlling his mind, I would have sensed it."

"And my scanners confirmed his biometrics," said Cyborg who checked the panel in his forearm. "That was the real Robin—our Robin."

**All our lives we've been waiting  
For someone to call our leader  
All your lies I'm not believing  
Heaven shine a light down on me**

"Lies!" screamed Starfire, who stood over in the kitchen area. "That was not Robin! Your scanners are wrong! Robin is our friend, and nothing could ever make him betray us! Nothing…"

"But something did," said Raven sadly.

"Three words…disgruntled radioactive clone," said Beast Boy, who was quickly beat down and kicked across the room by a peeved off Raven. Cyborg looked on worriedly at Raven's short temper tantrum and the dark mage - who quickly composed herself - went on to speak.

"No matter what the reason, no matter how much we wish it wasn't true, Robin's a criminal now. And just like any other criminal…"

"…The Teen Titans have to bring him down," finished Cyborg. Starfire stifled a sob and clapped her hands to her face, and just then, for the second time that evening, the alarm system went off. The Titans turned to the main console, and Beast Boy, who was the first to its screen, read the statistics.

"It's him!"

"Again?" questioned Raven, running up behind him.

"Yep, he's hitting up Wayne Enterprises."

"Fine by me," said a serious Cyborg. We know how to get there and we can finish what was started back at Farley's Labs. Titans, go!"

* * *

The scene at the western branch of Wayne Enterprise was almost an exact replica of the earlier raid at Farley's Laboratories. Robin, the new apprentice to his once-archrival Slade, had infiltrated the security system there and was making his way towards what was to be a heavily-armed device. However, before he could make off with his booty, the Titans were right there behind him...

"You're not walking outta here, Robin! Not without a fight."

Upon hearing Cyborg's threat, Robin charged at him, instantly launching the Titans into battle. Beast Boy morphed into a tiger and he and Cyborg were the first wave in. Robin however simply dodged the double whammy and passed Starfire and Raven, who looked on in confusion. Their eyes widen when Robin hit the ceiling, tore away a panel and ducked into the opening.

"He's heading for the roof again!" screamed Cyborg. "Come on!"

The others started to run off but Raven signaled for them to stop. With the quick wave of her hand, she used her soul-self form to transport the team onto the rooftop, when Robin stood with a hand to his ear as if he was listening to something.

"Look, I don't know what's going on…" said Cyborg, as he slowly approached Robin. "But we don't want to fight. We just want to talk."

Once again, Robin let his feet do the talking and directed a flying kick that drove Cyborg back towards the other Titans. "Guess there's nothing to talk about," quipped Beast Boy, cracking his knuckles. He then changed into a gorilla and went after Robin who avoided his lunges easily. Starfire also began to go after him with armed fists, but was most reluctant to fire at him. Robin then after securing a line onto the WAYNE insignia above him swung past her and began to strike at Raven, who quickly shielded herself from the offensive. Raven then rolled out of the way as Cyborg came to back her up and like Starfire, he was very reluctant to shoot his cannon into his former leader. Eventually (much to everyone's relief), he gave up the attempt to shoot, and went after Robin the old-fashioned way. The punch he threw missed Robin but distracted him enough to allow Beast Boy to change into a bighorn sheep and ram Robin straight in his back. The blow was strong enough to send him rolling and he came to stop just short of the edge of the rooftop. Beast Boy, worried that he did more harm than good, raced over to Robin's motionless form.

"Dude! Are you okay?"

**BAM!** A swift kick sent Beast Boy flying into Cyborg, knocking the two of them over. Raven quickly flew in and utter her mantra and the spell binded Robin from his neck to his knees in black energy. Raven then gasped when she realized that she failed to cover his right arm, and Robin used this shortcoming to hurl an explosive device at her. The explosive blinded Raven and she lost control of her grip and her will to fly.

"Raven, what are you doing?!" said the voice of Bravery. "How could you mess up like that? Get your head in the game!"

'_But…'_

"She can't!" said the voice of Affection. "Robin may be a villain now, but she still has feelings for him…"

'_Now's not the time for this!'_

As Raven feebly laid on the rooftop waiting for her vision to return, she could hear the panicked shouts of her teammates, who were still trying to disarm Robin but not hurt him severely. When Raven finally did get her sight back, she was joined by Cyborg and Beast Boy, who looked on as Robin and Starfire faced off. Robin stood on top of the enlarged 'E' of the WAYNE logo and was armed with the weapon he had just stolen. Across the way, a fuming Starfire floated just past him waiting with a starbolt ready to launch.

"Robin, you are my best friend," said Starfire, who sounded as if she was on the verge of breaking down. "I cannot be in a world where we must fight. If you are truly evil, then go ahead. Do what you must."

With that, Starfire dropped her head and lowered her arm. The others – and Robin – looked on in shock as the green glow that illuminated her hand died down. What was even more surprising is that although he had her right where he wanted her, after a rather tense moment, Robin turned off and lowered his weapon.

**So afraid to open your eyes, hypnotized  
You know you're not the only one**

"Starfire, no! I…" he started and then stopped. Raven looked on in confusion as a surge of emotions radiated from Robin: hurt, guilt and…fear?

'_Now __that's__ the Robin I know. But what is…'_

Suddenly, before they even knew what was happening, Starfire was covered in a strange red-orange light and she groaned in what must have been great agony. Raven looked around in horror as both Cyborg and Beast Boy fell alongside of her under the same symptoms as Starfire and she became even more alarmed when she was hit with a wave of such pain, she fell to her knees. It was like a burning sensation that rippled throughout the entire body coupled with not being able to breathe nor move. And as Raven felt herself blacking out, she could scarcely make out Robin's frantic words:

"Starfire! Stop! Please stop! …I'm sorry…"

The last thing Raven heard were four shots, and one of those pieced through her body...

**Never understood this life, and you're right I don't deserve  
But you know I'm not the only one**

When she came to, Raven, as well as the other Titans were free of the onslaught on their bodies, but they each looked more confused than ever. "Okay," said Beast Boy. "Weirdness. What just…"

Robin suddenly appeared out of nowhere and just like that, the battle amongst the Titans resumed. Raven sighed to herself. _'Whatever Robin was thinking right after Starfire's little speech, he's certainly changed his mind now…Or has he?' _

As the Titans went after Robin, he began firing his weapon and hurling explosives at his former teammates, and in the fray part of the WAYNE logo started toppling down on them. "Titans, move!" shouted Cyborg, as everyone ran for cover. When the smoke cleared, Cyborg looked on with wide eyes as observed where he stood. While the other Titans had taken off to safety, Cyborg was - by a stroke of luck - standing right in the center of the fallen A in Wayne's name.

**We're all grieving, lost and bleeding**

"He's gone," said Raven glumly, and as Cyborg climbed out from the fallen letter. "Everybody okay?" asked Cyborg, but was met with silence.

"Uh, I know where Robin picked up that heat ray," said Beast Boy. "But where did he learn that little glowy hurty trick?

"I do not think that _was_ Robin. Perhaps it is _Slade_ who has learned a new trick."

The boys turned to face Starfire, and Raven lowered her head. "She may be on to something, guys," she said, her face etched in deep thought. "The pain we felt just now…that wasn't natural..."

"We could get screened or have a bioscan by using my tech, but what…"

"_Do_ it."

Cyborg closed his mouth and then nodded, and the quartet quickly set off to return to Titans' Tower. Upon their arrival, Cyborg quickly began setting up the necessary equipment in the common area to do a bioscan, and Beast Boy (since he was the smallest in stature) was elected to be tested first for time's sake. The girls gathered around Beast Boy, who sat on the couch and wore an assortment of devices and was hooked up to the main computer. On the console screen were readouts of his vital signs and a screen that depicted his bloodstream.

"Think I found something," said Cyborg, who furiously typed along the keyboard. "The enhanced sensors are picking up radio interference on the nanoscopic scale."

With a few additional keystrokes, the screen with Beast Boy's blood stream zoomed in and countless tiny robotic probes with Slade's insignia were visibly attached to his blood cells. "Whoa," said a dumbfounded Raven. Starfire gasped, and Beast Boy looked toward the screen, his eyes popping wide open for a moment.

"Those things are inside me? _EWWW!!"_

"They're inside all of us," corrected Cyborg. "_Billions_ of 'em!"

"With such technology at his command, Slade can destroy us whenever he wants," reasoned Starfire.

"Unless…Robin does whatever he says," concluded Raven.

"And you guys thought my zombie idea was crazy," said Beast Boy. Raven just glared at him. "How the heck did they get inside of us?" he pressed on.

"My guess is when we were hit by those lasers from the bogus chronoton detonator," said Cyborg. "It's the only logical explanation."

"So what is our strategy for victory?" asked Starfire.

"Simple," said Cyborg, detaching the wires and devices from Beast Boy. "We're going to save Robin."

**All our lives we've been waiting  
For someone to call our leader  
But all your lies I'm not believing  
Heaven shine a light down on me**

"Are you crazy?!" squeaked Beast Boy. "Slade'll totally annihilate us!"

"It doesn't matter," said Raven firmly. "Robin's our leader…and our friend. We were wrong to jump to conclusions that he would turn evil, and knowing that he willingly gave up his freedom to protect us, we should be more than willing to return the favor – if not die for it. Slade cannot and _will _not get away with exploiting Robin!"

Beast Boy and Cyborg looked on in amazement at Raven, and the normally soft-spoken girl grew quiet once more. Starfire however obviously wholeheartedly agreed with her and smiled.

"Friend Raven is right!" she beamed. "Let us go forth and defeat Slade!"

"Even if we're going out on a suicide mission, how are we going to find them?" said Beast Boy, who was still none too thrilled with the thought about Slade setting off his probes again. Cyborg grinned and pressed a few buttons on the panel in his forearm, projecting a grid-like map on the screen. Towards the center of the map, a red dot was seen steadily beeping.

"During our last battle, I planted a homing device on Robin. All we got to do is go to him."

"Then go to him, we must!" cried Starfire.

* * *

The Titans eventually found themselves at what was once though to be an abandoned warehouse over on the eastside of town. It was probably previously owned by a manufacturing company since there was a lot of heavy machinery with turning gears, crankshafts and pistons left behind. As the Titans cautiously crept among the shadows, the sounds of an intense battle could be heard echoing throughout the building and as they grew closer, they found what they've been searching for. The room was without a doubt the center of Slade's headquarters, for numerous monitors (four of them which had the names and statistics of the probe-inflicted Titans) and consoles lined the opposite wall, and there was a throne-like chair which Slade most likely sat in. Across the way, Robin laid on the floor, the stuffing knocked clear out of him, and he panted heavily from exhaustion. Slowly advancing towards him was the infamous Slade. He was an older man dressed in black armor, steel reinforcements, gloves and boots. He also wore a mask that was a reddish-orange on the left side and black on the right. Interestingly enough, there was no eyehole on the right hand side of his mask.

"I made you my apprentice," said Slade in his suave yet equally cold tone of voice. "All my knowledge, all my power, all for you."

At this point, he leaned in and grabbed Robin by his hair so that he could look him in the face.

"But the only thing you care about is your worthless little friends!"

Starfire was about to charge in when Raven grabbed her by the arm. "Not yet," she whispered. "We may risk getting Robin even more hurt than he is now."

Starfire resisted for but a moment, but then sighed and retook her place beside the others. Meanwhile, Slade had released Robin and took a couple of steps away, and Robin slowly got to his feet.

"If the Titans are so distracting," he continued. "Maybe I should just get rid of them."

He then revealed upon his wrist some sort of control device and Robin started to charge at him again. However, he soon stopped dead in his tracks, knowing that another act of defiance would be fatal towards his friends.

"That's the control we've got to take out," said Cyborg in a hushed tone of voice. "No matter what, we've got to destroy it. We'll also need to get the core from out of that machine. It's the only way to cure us."

"Don't," said Robin, dismally. "I'll do whatever you say."

"Good boy," said Slade. "And, from now on, I'd like you to call me 'Master'."

'_Who the heck he thinks he is? Treating Robin like a dog!' _

Raven motioned to Starfire, who was more than happy to oblige. She then hurled a fiery starbolt at Slade who flew across the room and landed in front of the monitors. The Titans then emerged from the shadows, and Starfire got herself ready for another assault….

"_Leave…Him…Alone!"_

"Robin! Attack!" said Slade, as he hurriedly got up. Robin however hesitated, and he gestured towards the device that implanted the probes in his teammates.

**Don't look down  
****Don't look into the eyes of the world beneath you  
**

"Get out of here!" he shouted. "Go! You don't know what those beams did to…"

"Dude…we know…" said Beast Boy and Raven, respectively.

"And we don't care," said Cyborg.

"We are your friends, Robin," said Starfire. "We are not leaving without you."

"How very touching," remarked Slade as he pressed the button on the control device. "But Robin doesn't need any friends."

The device roared to life, and red energy bolts began to scan across the room. Once again, only the Titans inflicted with the menacing probes could feel the pain, and one by one they fell. Robin looked on in horror as Slade slowly approached him…

"This is the price for your disobedience, Robin. Now do as I command. Attack!"

**Don't look down, you'll fall down  
You'll become their sacrifice**

At that point, Raven actually prayed that he _would _attack them. Somehow the pain was even worse this second time around, and anything to put her out of her lifelong misery would have been most welcomed. She then noticed Robin looking in the direction of the machine, his eyes filled with pure and righteous determination.

"No," he answered defiantly, and he took off in the direction of the machine.

"Robin!" screamed Slade. Raven forced herself to look and watched as a great leap carried Robin into the air and he landed at the base of the machine.

**Right or wrong, can't hold on to the fear that I'm lost without you  
If I can't feel, I'm not mine, I'm not real**

'_Oh Azar, no! Robin, don't do it! It's not worth this pain!'_

Robin placed his hands onto the machine and was basked in the glow of its energy. As he held on, Raven could only wonder how he managed to hold on like that and not pass out. Seconds later, the device exploded, sending Robin reeling backwards, and Raven and Slade's eyes widened as a fifth statistic screen with Robin's name popped up. With great strain to his already weakened body, Robin, now inflicted with the same damaging probes as his team, rose from the floor and staggered towards Slade, who looked rather uncertain at pressing his control again.

"New deal, Slade," said Robin. "If I lose my friends, you lose your apprentice. And I know how you _hate_ to lose."

With that, Robin collapsed to the floor, and after a moment of contemplation, Slade swiftly tore the controller of his wrist and hurled it across the room, rendering it and the probes it once controlled useless. However, Slade was enraged that his apprentice - nay a child as far as he was concerned – had gotten the better of him and raised one foot to stomp on Robin's head. However, before he could bring it back down again, Robin's hand shot up and grabbed it. He smirked at his unsuspecting opponent, whose lone eye went very wide, and a roundhouse punch sent Slade flying.

"Titans! Go!" cried Robin, springing back to his feet and into battle. The others, now back in good health, obediently followed into the fray. Beast Boy changed into a tiger and stunned Slade with a swipe across the chest. Cyborg and Starfire were the next in, and fired their respective blasts into Slade. As he stumbled backwards, Raven used her binding spell to stop Slade in his tracks, thus allowing Robin to deliver his infamous flying kick. The hit was dead on target, and the sole of his boot cracked Slade's mask, so much so that the right half of the mask skidded across the floor. Slade, who looked as if he was about to have a heart attack from this change of events, used a free hand to conceal what would have been part of his exposed face and he quickly took off into the darkness of the lair.

"Another day, Robin," he said coolly. "Another day…"

The following morning, the Titans – all of the Teen Titans - were in the common area getting the probes removed from their bodies. Cyborg - who despite the danger of being crushed from falling debris when Slade triggered a self-destruct feature in his lair, had managed to recover the core from the device used to implant the probes in his team - and was busily typing away into his computer systems. Once again, Beast Boy was covered from head to toe in tubes, cables and wires, and he even had a mask clamped over his face.

"Am I done yet?" came his muffled cry. The Titans eyes fell on the screen. Not one probe was visible in Beast Boy's bloodstream.

"That's it, y'all," smiled Cyborg. "The Teen Titans are officially probe-free." Hearing this, Beast Boy jumped out of his chair and with a hearty laugh, started to dance around and sing.

"Go, Beast Boy! You're probe-less! No probes now! Go, Beast Boy! Go, Beast Boy! Get fun-kay!"

As Beast Boy continued to make a fool out of himself, Raven turned her attention to the rest of her team. "Um…I know this isn't my style, but we just kicked Slade's butt. Shouldn't we celebrate or something?"

Robin and Cyborg stare in disbelief at her, but Beast Boy jumped into view and landed on Cyborg's shoulders. The green animorph had made haste in shedding all the equipment he was hooked into.

"Yeah! All-you-can-eat, free-form breakfast explosion!" cheered Beast Boy and Cyborg. "Sorry I asked," moaned Raven as she was carried off into the kitchen. She then sat at the counter as the legendary meat vs. tofu war broke out.

"Who wants tofu waffles?"

"Man, nobody wants tofu waffles."

"I do. Pass me the soy milk!"

At this Beast Boy jumped Cyborg, and a scuffle broke out as each one tried to keep the other away from the fridge. Robin and Starfire walked over to join Raven at the counter and Starfire giggled at the boys' arguing. Robin in turn, focused his attention on Raven.

"So, uh, I just wanted to say thanks again for keeping things together, Raven."

"I was just trying to do the right thing."

"Yeah, but still, I know it wasn't easy to go up against me. We've been through a lot over the past year or so, and to be forced into fighting your leader? I know it must have been tough to do, and even more so to believe I would actually want to do something like that."

"It's just like Starfire said. You're not just our leader, Robin. You're our friend. You took in four orphans with powers that cause others to shun them; four orphans that had no way to go or no one to turn to. You've given us a second chance in life and to make good of the things that others claimed we were cursed with. How could we _not_ help you?"

Robin smiled, and for that moment a great burden was lifted off of him.

**  
All our lives we've been waiting  
For someone to call our leader  
But all your lies I'm not believing  
Heaven shine a light down on me…**


	18. Chapter 18: Haunted

**1570 hits. I have to be honest, guys; this chapter almost didn't make it up today (or this week rather, thanks to my addiction to The Sims 2. I literally had to pry myself away just to finish this chapter.) Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one, especially since it's based on one of the more popular episodes of Season 2… **

CHAPTER 18

It was a dark and stormy spring night, and after a night of crime fighting, the Titans were settling down in the common area for their weekly movie night. Raven, as was her custom, sat on the couch with a book in tow, and she paid no heed to the other Titans who flittered here and there throughout the room. To be frank, Raven didn't really care for watching movies or TV, but because it was something that the team did to let off some steam and get together as friends, she somehow found the will to stomach it. Besides if the movie got dull at some point, she could always go back to her book. The only downside to tonight was the mere fact that it was Beast Boy's turn to pick the flick…

"Ladies and gentlemen," proclaimed Beast Boy. "Get ready for the scariest night of your lives. Maybe Control Freak's monsters didn't scare you, but this movie is going to freak you out."

"Whatever," scoffed Raven.

"Can't be any creepier than the documentary on hot dogs Starfire made us watch," commented Robin, who was now sitting in between the girls

"It was fascinating!" said a cheerful Starfire. "I had no idea that Earth people ate so many pigs…and insects!"

Her choice of words set a very nauseous Cyborg's sensitive stomach off, and the poor big guy went completely green in the face._ "_Yeah, yeah, bugs and hot dogs, big deal," said Beast Boy, who fanned them off. "This movie is supposed to be cursed. When people watch it, strange things happen…_evil _things."

He then began to laugh manically, his take on the stereotypical 'mad scientist/evil villain' laugh, and eerily enough, lightning flashed from outside. Raven however remained undaunted by his presentation. She placed her book aside and sat with her arms folded and her legs crossed.

"Just start the movie," she droned, and Beast Boy, a bit miffed that nothing ever seemed to impress her, pulled out the remote and turned on the movie. He then went to turn off the lights and took his spot in between Starfire and Cyborg. Moments later, after all of the ads and the obligatory copyright infringement warning note, the movie's title faded from black onto the screen and suspenseful music filled the room.

'_I can't believe I got duped into watching this B-movie Beast Boy picked,_' sulked Raven. '_God willing it'll be all over in a flash and we can go on with our lives...' _

Ironically though, the more Raven put on the pretense that the movie was horrible, the harder she found it to tear her eyes away from the screen, and pretty soon she and the rest of the Titans were transfixed by the movie. The story started out rather typical, with the average group of friends becoming stranded at an abandoned tourist trap while en-route to some five-star vacationing spot. And, (as is the norm with most horror/slasher films), the traveling party's misfortune of 'being in the wrong place at the wrong time' resulted in several of the adults disappearing and the body count racking up at an ungodly pace. By the end of the movie, only one woman had managed to escape back to her hometown alive, only to succumb to the monster in what should have been the safety of her own home. As she screamed one final bloodcurdling scream, the screen snapped to black, and the word 'End' faded into view in eerie red lettering. Raven, with mouth agape slowly turned to get the reactions of her fellow teammates, and like her, they were speechless from the massacre they had just witnessed: Robin and Cyborg sat slack-jawed, and Starfire's eyes were shut tighter than a vise. She also concealed her face with Robin's cape. Just then, Beast Boy warily peeked over from behind the couch (where he had apparently gone to hide there some time ago)…

"Is it over?" he asked concernedly.

"I dare not open my eyes to find out," said Starfire.

"Now I'm _really_ sick to my stomach," replied Cyborg, who indeed looked as if he was going to vomit any second.

"I've fought psychotic villains, robot commandos, and giant oozing monsters," said Robin. "But _that_ is the scariest thing I have ever seen."

The four scared Titans traded stares for a moment, and then suddenly broke out into laughter. Raven of course was not amused, and if any she was a bit unnerved by the movie. The raging storm outside of the Tower only added to the spooky ambiance. Worried that the others would spot her face, Raven quickly went to hide underneath her hood.

"Did I tell you or did I tell you?" shouted Beast Boy.

"Thrilling, Beast Boy!" cheered Starfire. "It was wonderfully horrible!"

"Yeah, when she went into the basement…" said Cyborg.

"…and it was right behind her and she turned and…" interjected Robin.

"I was freaking out! I wanted to turn it off…"

"So…come on, Raven," said Beast Boy, popping up beside her. "Admit it. You were totally scared."

"I don't do fear," she stated bluntly. Beast Boy just looked at her.

"You don't _do _fear…" he repeated slowly.

"What are you a parrot? I…don't_…_do…fear. End of story."

"Yeah, BB, back off," said Cyborg. "Different strokes for different folks."

"You make it sound like I'm attacking her!"

"I'm just saying…"

"And I'm _just_ saying…"

"Calm down, you two," said Robin yawning. "There was enough screaming going on for the last two hours. I'm bushed and calling it a night. Maybe you guys should follow suit."

"Agreed," said Starfire, who began carrying the empty snack containers and cups into the kitchen. "Let us all retire for the evening and have pleasant shlorvaks!"

"Uh, no thanks, I'm not hungry," said Beast Boy.

Everyone – even Starfire – just looked at him.

* * *

An hour later, each of the Titans were settled in their assigned rooms, the sounds of the late night storm thundering from outside. In Raven's room, the dark mage laid under the comfort of light cotton sheets scented by soothing lavender and lilac fragrances. From all outside appearances, Raven seemed to be in a peaceful sleep. But none could be farther from the truth. As she slept, Raven's thoughts gave way to dreams, and in time she found herself in a familiar landscape: that in which was Timidity's domain. However unlike times passed, the realm gave off a sinister, ghostly vibe. The tall metal walls to the maze for example, reached extensively into the air, so much so that the little bit of natural light within the realm was cut off and rendered the area pitch black. The air was also very cold, cold enough - if it weren't for the darkness- for Raven to see her own breath before her. What made matters worse however was the deep guttural voice that seemed to echo and follow Raven everywhere she went:

"What's the matter?" chortled the ominous voice. "You're not afraid, are you Raven?"

"There's nothing to be afraid about," snapped Raven, her eyes straining to see her haunter.

"You lie," mocked the voice. "You _lie_…"

"Who are you?" she questioned, once again trying her best to sound brave. She unwittingly backed into a wall, and the cool unsuspected touch of the steel made Raven practically jump out of her skin.

"_Where_ are you?! Show yourself!"

Raven suddenly gasped when she noticed something out the corner of her eye. Standing not too far off from her and basked in a bright light of unknown origin was Timidity. Accompanying her was the stoical form of Neurotic, and as Raven recalled, the last time Neurotic appeared in a dream of hers, things didn't turn out good for her.

"Timidity? Neurotic? Was that you calling me?"

Neither emotion made a comment. Suddenly a bright light similar to the one that shone over the two came into view over Raven. The glare was overwhelming, and Raven felt as if she was standing in the middle of a police interrogation. She also couldn't shake the creepy glare that the two emotions were giving her.

"I don't suppose you understand what's going on here, do you?" replied Neurotic in an oddly detached tone of voice. Raven eyed the normally edgy emotion with suspicion.

'_Something doesn't feel right,'_ she thought.

"Of course something's not right!" screamed Neurotic, her tone sending chills throughout Raven's very being. "Nothing's right!"

"Where's Intelligence?" Raven shouted right back at her. "I want to speak to my sensible side - not deal with these meaningless theatrics of yours."

"Raven, Raven, Raven…" said Timidity, in an uncharacteristically light and child-like voice. "You still don't get it." Once again, Raven found herself carefully watching the two across from her and Neurotic sighed.

"For far too long, we emotions have had to stay locked away in the dark while you put on the false pretense that you were so strong you didn't need any of us. And even after the mess you made back a few months back with Rage, you still have an unbalanced view of us."

"How can you say that?!"

"Four words: I don't do fear… Are you kidding me? Are you kidding _me_?! Timidity and I are the very embodiments of your fear, and to block us off to prove that you're brave is both reckless and stupid."

"How the heck is being scared actually good for someone?! If I hadn't been scared, I would've faced Trigon back when I had the chance! And being scared now won't do me any good here either. It was just a movie; none of it was real..."

"If you try to hold us down, Raven, we'll just simply find another way to…express ourselves," responded Neurotic. "We're tired of being constantly ignored. And I can foresee that because of your little complex, all of the insecurities you pretend doesn't exist are all going to come to haunt you..."

A thunderclap roared through the air, and Raven, jarred from her troubled sleep shot up from her bed. As she caught her breath, she nervously scanned the darkened room for any signs of danger.

"Maybe I should consider redecorating," she mumbled as she analyzed her somber taste of style. A few wary seconds later, Raven settled down underneath the covers once more and closed her eyes…

"_**AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"**_

'_What the...?!'_ thought Raven, her eyes popping wide open. She sat up in bed once more and without a moment's hesitation used her powers to turn on the lights. After concluding that her room was in fact safe, it dawned on Raven that it was a female voice that screamed, once very similar to the unlucky woman in the final scene of 'Wicked Scary'.

"What is going on around here?" said Raven to herself as she hurriedly threw on her cloak and boots and ran out into the darkened hallway. Raven skidded to a stop and looked around worriedly, the darkness of night casting strange and unfamiliar shadows upon the walls and floor.

'_Since when did the Tower become so unfriendly?'_ she thought as she briskly walked down the hall and up to the common area. _'Perhaps some tea will help calm me down…'_

As Raven neared the common area, she could make out from the gap under the door that the lights were still on, and from behind its door voices could be here. _'Thank Azar someone else is up,'_ thought Raven with a sigh of relief. Another thunderclap sent the 'fearless' Titan running, and she barreled through the doors. Standing around by the coffee table were four puzzled Titans.

"Who screamed?" she asked, her voice hiding the fear that radiated from her.

"Sounded like something from the movie," said Robin. "Did we leave the TV on?"

"We did not," said Starfire, picking up the video. "And the movie is right here..."

Suddenly, all of the lights in the common area went out and the others looked around worriedly. "Okay, _that's_ creepy," said Cyborg. Then out from his shoulder came a small flashlight, and the mechanized Titan slowly let the beam play over the common area.

"The storm," said Robin. "Probably just tripped a circuit breaker." Just then a tentacle reached in from behind to touch Robin's shoulder. Giving it only a raised eyebrow, he said nothing as Starfire, Cyborg, and Raven cried out in shock.

"Okay, Beast Boy, you got us," smiled Robin, pushing the tentacle off. "Good one."

The others looked on as the practical jokester of the Tower walked up alongside of them with the same look of morbid fear plastered onto his face.

"Uh…dude?"

Realizing that something wasn't adding up, Robin turned towards the source of the tentacle and looming over him was the strange robed one-eyed terror from 'Wicked Scary'. The creature tore away its robe, revealing numerous mouths that covered its blue-gray body, a long tangled mane, two arms in addition to the tentacles, and a large red eye to either side of the first eye.The monster then let out a roar that seemed to shake the tower off its foundation and the Titans scattered as one of its tentacles hurled the couch across the room. Robin, the confident leader of the lot initiated the fight, and went in to deliver a kick. However, he was quickly hurled backwards towards the window, and Beast Boy, in the form of a T-Rex was the next into the fray. The monster though proved to be a bit much for him, and a ferocious roar caused Beast Boy to morph into a frightened cat that ran for cover. Distracted by the two Titans, the monster didn't even notice Starfire coming up from behind with starbolts ready to go, and she fired at will. A couple of shots met their target, while several others were simply deflected by the creature's arm. The monster then retaliated by snaking a tentacle up and grabbed hold of the airborne Tamaranean, at which point Cyborg raced over to pull her away.

'_I got to do something,_' thought Raven as she watched the scene unfold from a safe distance. "Azarath Metrion Zint…"

Lightning flashed across the sky, and Raven looked down in shock. Her hands - which should had turned black with her powers - were still a pallid gray and she regarded them with great concern. "My powers!" she gasped. _'I…I can't use my powers.'_ She then looked on as the other Titans struggled to subdue the freakish monster and began to back away unsurely.

"And just where do you think you're going?" said the voice of Bravery.

'_I'm no use to them,' _said Raven. _'Without my powers, I'm…'_

"Don't give me that! That nightmare out of the mind of R.L. Stine's about to make mincemeat out of the team and you're ditching them? Why do you think Robin insisted on the team taking up combat lessons? In the unlikely event you lost your powers that's why, and if you can't kill it, at least make ithat thing think twice about chosing to come here!"

Raven took a deep breath and although she was very reluctant, she began to charge at the monster. She then cried out as a tentacle lashed out and sent her flying towards the side door leading out of the common area. Suddenly, just as quickly it had appeared, the monster disappeared into thin air, and the four Titans wrestling with it fell to the floor in a tangled mess.

"Someone's claws are on my grebnaks!" gasped Starfire. "Heh, my bad," laughed Beast Boy nervously as he and the others rose from the floor.

"There _was_ a monster here, right?" asked Cyborg.

"But where did it go?" noted Robin. "And from where did it come?" asked Starfire.

"Hel-_lo?" _said Beast Boy, holding up the rented video. "Isn't it obvious? The movie's cursed! Watching it opened a portal to another dimension. The monster came through the portal. Now it's gong to hunt us down and eat us, and I'm probably delicious!"

"Idiot…" mumbled Raven. "Or…" said Cyborg, in almost the same tone as Raven.

"Control Freak must have escaped and come to the Tower to get his remote and take his revenge," said Robin.

'_Once again, Robin is the voice of reason here,' _thought Raven as she stepped passed Starfire to face Robin. Revenge by an irked couch potato/fanboy with the technology to bring inanimate objects to life did seem plausible, but did he also have the means to rob Raven of her powers as well?

"But, that doesn't explain why my powers aren't working," Raven finally voiced out aloud.

The others looked on in deep thought. It had dawned on them that was rather strange that Raven didn't use her powers not once during the battle, but now they were getting a bit concerned. Raven was a vital aspect to the team, and without her expertise in stealth and telekinesis, they would be in for a world of hurt with that monster running loose in the Tower.

"If that remote can turn candy evil, who knows what else it can do?" reasoned Cyborg.

"Whatever's going on, we need to get to the bottom of it," said Robin. "Split up and search the Tower!"

Everyone except Beast Boy began to walk away in different directions. He quickly morphed into an octopus and with his multiple limbs pulled everyone back towards him.

"Split up?" he screamed, once back in human form. "_Split up?!_ Did you not _see_ the movie? When you split up, the monster hunts you down one at a time, starting with the good-looking comic relief guy: me!"

"Get a grip, Beast Boy!" shouted Robin, trying to pry Beast Boy who had climbed on top him off. "The monster's not going to eat anybody."

"He's right," replied Raven. "There's nothing to be afraid of."

A violent flash of lightning streaked across the sky, and everyone turned to face the windows. Beast Boy gulped nervously and clung to Robin once, who angrily tore him off.

"Knock it off!" he snapped.

"Please, shall we investigate the origin of the wickedly scary creature that stalks our home?" asked Starfire.

"That's a good idea, Star. The sooner we figure out what's going on here, the better. Come on, gang…"

**Long lost words whisper slowly to me**

Several minutes later, the Titans cautiously walked throughout the darkened Tower in search of the mysterious monster and for any clues to its origin. Cyborg led the gang (since he had the built-in flashlight) and an overanxious Beast Boy brought up the rear, constantly looking back the way they came. Occasionally, Raven would look out the corner of her eye to check up on the skittish Beast Boy, but she also made it her personal business to stay close to Robin.

'_Just stay calm, Raven. Just stay calm. There's strength in numbers. Everything will be just fine as long as we stick together…'_

"Help! Help me!" said a small drawn-out voice. The Titans stopped and turned to the direction from which it came: down the stairs, most likely on the same level as the bedrooms.

"This way!" said Robin, marching off.

'_Do we really have to?' _thought Raven. The Titans then walked down to the lower level and towards the general area where they heard the voice. When they stopped in front of Beast Boy's room, he whimpered and went to cower behind Raven.

"Please tell me that thing's not in my room," he said in a hushed voice. Robin gestured for the others to be quiet and the door slid open. Cyborg's light roved across the piles of dirty clothes and other discarded items in the room and stopped at a closed closet door.

"Help me!" came the voice from the other side.

**Still can't find what keeps me here**

Courageously, Robin stepped towards the closet and calmly wrapped his fingers around the handle. The Titans braced themselves for the worst and Robin opened the closet. Suddenly, something large began to move, and the panic-stricken teens screamed as a massive pile of dirty laundry cascaded down on them. When the avalanche ended, a small toy monkey banging a pair of cymbals together landed on top.

"Help me, help me, help me count!" said the toy monkey in the same voice heard from earlier. "One…two…three…four…"

Raven looked on in pure annoyance at Beast Boy, who grinned sheepishly.

"Um…I really ought to get rid of that thing."

"You think?"

"Must we?" asked Starfire, finally surfacing the pile of clothes. "Although it has succeeded in terrifying us so, it is still quite adorable."

Raven scowled and started climbing out of the pile, and the other Titans quickly followed her.

**When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
**

"Ooooohhh!" laughed Cyborg, as he and the team exited Beast Boy's room. "Look out ya'll! Big scary monkey!"

"Yeah, Raven," smiled Beast Boy. "You should have seen the look on your face."

"You mean _this look?!"_

"No, that's more angry than scared."

"I already told you, I don't get scared."

**(…I know you're still there…)**

Just then, a sinister growling came from the darkened part of the hall, and the Titans turned to see the tentacled monster from 'Wicked Scary'.

"Titans, Move!" shouted Robin.

**Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Fearing you, loving you  
I won't let you pull me down**

'_You don't have to tell me twice!'_ thought Raven as the team took off down the hall. The Titans were so concerned with getting away, they didn't ever realized that they were running towards an empty elevator shaft. As they charged into the darkened open way, each Titan screamed as gravity did its thing and they plummeted down to the lower levels of the Tower. Beast Boy changed into a hawk and flew off to safety, while Starfire grabbed hold of Cyborg. Robin meanwhile fired a grappling hook that caught hold of the ceiling and he reached out to grab Raven. He caught her by the waist and as the rope went taut, the two were rescued from what would have been a fatal fall.

"Thanks," Raven managed to get out as Robin reeled the two back up to the elevator door. Her hood no longer covered her head and she was feverishly fighting the blush that had crept onto her face.

"No problem," said Robin. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I'd let you fall."

Raven looked on in puzzlement as the two reached the elevator door, and Beast Boy and Cyborg helped them up as Starfire scoped out the hallway.

"Ok, where the heck did the elevator go?" asked Cyborg. "Last time I checked, both the north and south elevators were running."

"It's probably Freakazoid's fault," said Beast Boy.

"I hate to say it," started Robin. "But Beast Boy might have a point. All the lights in the Tower have been shut off and now this? Nothing has been what it seems tonight."

"The creature is gone," said Starfire, and the others followed her out into the hallway. "We are safe…for the moment."

"Okay," said Beast Boy to Raven. "Don't even _try_ to tell me that didn't scare…"

The poor kid never even saw it coming. One of the monster's tentacles snuck up from behind and snagged him. As Beast Boy was dragged away screaming, the others stood locked in fear.

"What did I tell you? Funny guy goes fiiiiirrrsssttt!"

"Beast Boy!" shouted Robin, chasing after him. Beast Boy and the thriving mass of tentacles disappeared through an open door at the end of the hall, and as 'luck' would have it, it slammed shut just as Robin and the others approached it. Not one to let a teammate down, Robin pried the door open, and the remaining Titans peered inside. Unfortunately, Beast Boy was nowhere to be seen.

"Beast Boy!" cried Starfire. "He is…"

"…Gone," said Raven.

"Give me some light," ordered Robin, and Cyborg's flashlight went into high-beam mode. As the team searched the room, Cyborg noted several tools, weapons and memorabilia from some of their earlier missions.

"The evidence room. What are we looking for?"

"Something that shouldn't be here," replied Robin, who came to a stop along a wall and he picked up something: a TV remote control.

A _very_ _familiar_ looking TV remote control…

"Control Freak's remote," said Raven in disbelief.

"Right where I left it…" said Robin, the gears in his head starting to turn. Meanwhile, Raven and the others were still in a fog.

"But how could he conjure these monsters without his technology?" asked Starfire.

"Maybe he had an extra remote," said Cyborg. "I mean we got like nine."

"I'm starting to think Control Freak doesn't have anything to do with what's been happening," said Robin.

"Well, whoever is doing it," said Raven. "They're not going to scare us."

"_Fear!_ That's it! The movie, the monsters, Raven's powers…the answer's right in front of us! If Control Freak isn't behind this, it has to be…"

Before he could finish the sentence, Robin's head was caught up in a mass of tentacles and he was yanked towards the wall behind him. As his body slammed up against it, Raven and Starfire dashed over to pull him free. However, they were quickly knocked out of the way when more tentacles emerged from the other side of the wall. Raven and Starfire looked on in horror as Robin began to literally disappear into the wall, but Cyborg moved in to grab his flailing free hand. Despite his super-enhanced strength, Cyborg lost hold of Robin and as the wall sealed itself up again, Cyborg made one last desperate dash for his leader.

"ROBIN!!"

But he was too late. Robin was long gone, and unless they did something and quick, Cyborg and the girls would be next…

* * *

Deep within Titans' Tower, Raven, Cyborg, and a very uneasy Starfire were in search of their missing teammates. They have keenly scanned the entire building high and low, from the common area to the garage, to the lobby and even the bathrooms. Now the only room left was the gloomy and seldom visited basement. After a few minutes of convincing (or rather coercing) the others, Raven managed to get Cyborg and Starfire to help check it out. However not even thirty seconds into the search, Starfire was already inching her way back up the stairs…

"Oh, well. Our friends are not present. Let us quickly go back up and see if they…"

Cyborg swiftly took hold of her and dragged her off. "Not yet. We have to get to the bottom of this."

"This unpleasant room is not the bottom?"

"Come on," said Raven, leading the trio on. Her eyes cautiously scanned the floor and the rafters above, and Raven's mind was in overdrive. Not only was she scared to death, but she was mad as hell too. What was supposed to be a figment of her imagination had somehow come to life, and it had succeeded in knocking off two of her teammates. To top things off she was also powerless to stop it.

_'God, is this some sort of sign? Is there more to this monster than meets the eye? Is it really some sort of messenger for…for…'_

Just then, Starfire screamed, and she hurled a starbolt towards the floor.

"What is it?!" asked Cyborg.

"The floor! I saw something!"

"I didn't," said Raven, though now she was doing a double take. Meanwhile, Cyborg did some sort of adjustment to his optical scanners.

"Night vision scanners aren't picking up anything either. Let's keep moving."

Cyborg and Raven continued across the area and seconds later, Starfire cried out yet again and she began firing starbolt after starbolt all around her. Raven cringed, since this was a moment of déjà vu when she and Starfire had switched bodies, and just like then, Raven was none too thrilled with Starfire's high-strung behavior.

"_Please_ stop doing that. There's nothing to be afraid of, all right? It's probably just a few rats."

"Those are not rats!" squeaked Starfire, pointing upward. Cyborg and Raven turned to look and much to their dismay, many pairs - possibly _thousands_ - of pairs of beady red eyes lined the overhead rafters and the floor. Upon closer inspection, they indeed had bodies like rats, but they resembled something out of Raven's mind what with them having two pairs of eyes each. Regardless of how familiar they appeared, Raven nor Cyborg wished to stick around to find out their origin...

"Run! _**RUN**__!"_

Once again, the Titans took off running, and the massive tidal wave of demonic vermin came charging towards them. Raven and Cyborg bolted for the staircase and started climbing.

"Hurry!" he shouted. "We're almost…"

"Aaaaahhhhhh!"

The all-too familiar scream of Starfire stopped them dead in their tracks, and Raven and Cyborg turned to see that the strange beasts had swarmed up to Starfire's waist. Terrified, she fired a few frantic shots into them, and as she was sucked in she screamed bloody murder. Once again, Cyborg lashed out to try and save his friend, but only met with the bare concrete floor below. Just like Beast Boy and Robin, Starfire had vanished without a trace…

"No!" screamed Raven, running up behind him. "No, no, no, no, no!" She scratched at the floor in vain as if she could actually find Starfire underneath, and Cyborg had to drag Raven up onto her feet and up the stairs.

"Wait, stop!" pleaded Raven, pulling away from him. "We should go back! Maybe there's still a way to save her!"

"We won't save _anybody_ if whatever this is gets us too. We have to get out of here and come back with help."

Raven stopped hesitating and realizing that he was right, let out a deep sigh. Cyborg then revealed his canon, and armed with the assurance of his trusty weaponry and flashlight led Raven up the remainder of the stairs.

"We'll get through this, all right?" he said comfortingly. "Don't be scared."

"For the last time, I am not afraid," said Raven bitterly, and she brushed passed him. _'I wish everyone would stop saying that!'_ She was so out of it that she never even realized that Cyborg had stopped following her. Her only clue was when his light mysteriously went out.

"Cyborg, I could use a little more light."

Stopping to look and see what the problem was, Raven looked on in horror when she realized that she was now all alone…

All alone in the dark…

All alone in the dark with those _things_ running loose…

"Cyborg?"

Just then, a horrible screeching sound was heard. Twirling around, Raven could just make out the form of a huge winged creature flying towards her. Like the rat creatures in the basement, it was black in color with four red eyes and it had a very long tail. And it didn't take a genius to predict what Raven did next…

**Hunting you I can smell you alive  
Your heart pounding in my head**

Bolting down the numerous hallways of the Tower, Raven fled as the winged apparition began to close in on her. The north side elevator was down and running down the stairs was not an option, so Raven was giving it her all to reach that south elevator. Praying that it was functioning properly, Raven hammered on the call button and watched uneasily as the winged monster flew in closer and closer still. Suddenly, the doors opened and Raven dove inside, slamming the close button in the process. The doors closed just as the monster went to strike and it left a sizeable dent in the paneling. The elevator car shook and then proceeded to move upward, while an anxious Raven climbed to her feet.

'_Lord, why did I press the 'Up' button? I need to get out of here!" _She then sighed._ 'Well, at least I shook that monster off. Maybe the console in the common area's still working. I could call for help and then barricade myself inside of the…wait a minute. What the...?'_

Raven's eyes panned down at the sound of something bubbling and rising from the floor was some dark, gelatinous liquid – definitely not water. The mystery fluid in almost no time flat began to pass Raven's ankles, then her waist and soon would be clear over her head…

**Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Saving me, raping me  
Watching me**

"No!" screamed Raven as she went under the tide. The fluid was very murky and Raven couldn't see any way out of it. She only hoped that the doors opened in time before she was no longer able to hold her breath. Dying at the hands of a villain or monster was scary enough, but it would have happened quickly. Drowning however was an entirely different story. Fortunately, Raven soon heard the tell-tale sound of the elevator bell. The car stopped and the doors opened, and all of its contents flooded out into the common area. Raven staggered to her feet and after catching her breath, started to shake the goo from her clothes. She then jumped back from a loud thump from within the now closed elevator and slowly backed away towards the side door. Raven then stopped short when the sound of growling could be heard from the shadows and unfortunately she came face to face once again with the first monster that attacked the Titans. Towering over the frightened girl, the beast lumbered towards her, and Raven once again took off towards another side door leading out of the room. She then skidded to a stop when she noticed the swarm of rat-like creatures making their way towards her. Retreating to the top of the coffee table, Raven came to her wit's end when the windows turned black and two pairs of ominous red eyes appeared on them.

"Stay back!" she screamed as a wolf-like monster with the head of a bird emerged from the darkened windows. It too was black in color and had blood red eyes. "You don't scare me! I'm not afraid…I'm not afraid!"

The newly incarnated monster roared, and Raven dropped to her knees with her hands to her ears. Slowly from all corners of the room, every single monster that stalked her that evening hissed and snarled as they closed in on their prey. "I'm not afraid!" shouted Raven, once more. She closed her eyes and wished that the nightmare would just end.

"Rae?" came a soft but familiar voice from nowhere.

'_It can't be…W-who's there?'_

"Rae-Rae, why are you bringing such misery upon yourself? Why can't you just admit that you're afraid?"

'_Because…I can't! I can't! A superhero isn't supposed to be afraid. You have to be brave at all times. Otherwise, others will take me to be weak!'_

"But that's not true! Being scared isn't the same as being weak. Fear keeps us from taking unnecessary risks and from doing something that could be more than what we can handle. And even when you fear for your very life, the very thought of those you love being in danger outweighs the fear you personally have, and somehow it can also compel you to do whatever it takes to ensure their safety. That's the one thing that led me and Coman to face Trigon, even though we both knew that we would eventually lose to him…"

'_Mother…'_

"Once you lose sight of things, Raven, nothing seems possible. But once you achieve focus, and you stay true to yourself, then _nothing's_ impossible…"

Arella's voice faded until Raven once again heard nothing but the deafening shrieks and cries of the monsters that surrounded her. She then relaxed and opened her eyes, the words of her departed mother striking a chord within her.

"I…I _am_ afraid," she finally admitted. "I'm afraid."

She then rose to her feet, a newfound fire swelling from deep within her and her eyes turned pure black.

"But that doesn't mean I can't fight back! Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

**Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Fearing you, loving you  
I won't let you pull me down**

Raven gasped as a huge surge of black energy radiated out of her and she took to the air. All around her, her personal demons soon disappeared into nothingness. Raven felt herself weaken from the cataclysmic episode and she slowly descended to the floor once more as her powers swirled around her. As she made contact with the floor, Raven felt her whole world fade to black…

* * *

It was still rather dark when Raven finally came to and when her eyes opened, she looked around in confusion. Her four teammates who had gone missing stood over her, and surprisingly they looked as if no harm had ever befallen them.

"You're all okay?" she asked, as Cyborg helped her up.

"We were never in any danger," said Robin.

"Say what?" said Cyborg. "Did you not _see_ the monsters?" said Beast Boy.

"We saw them, but they were never really there. Raven _was_ afraid, but when she wouldn't talk about it, the fear found another way out."

Raven held a hand up to her mouth in shock and Starfire gasped.

"Her powers!"

Robin nodded and then turned to Raven. "Once you accepted your fear, you regained control over it."

"You mean Raven made all those creepy-crawlies by accident?" asked Beast Boy, and he and Cyborg turned to look at her. Raven, understandably embarrassed, blushed and smiled nervously.

"Uh…sorry?"

The awkward moment was interrupted when a warm light began to creep into the room, and the Titans looked to see the morning sun coming up over the horizon. As the team enjoyed its beauty, Raven stood in silence, thinking back to the events of the previous night…

"_You still have an unbalanced view of us..."_

"…_when she wouldn't talk about it, the fear found another way out…"_

"_Once you lose sight of things, nothing seems possible. But once you achieve focus, and once you're true to yourself, then nothing's impossible…"_

"_If you try to hold us down, we'll just simply find another way to…express ourselves…"_

'_It happened __again__,'_ thought Raven, as Robin and Starfire headed out of the room. _'Mother was right. Why __do__ I bring things on myself? Last night could've ended really badly, and all because I was trying to hide my feelings. I need to find some sort of proper balance between restraint and freedom, because I don't know how much more that I - or the others for that matter - can take. We'll all be dead before my sixteenth birthday at this rate…'_

"Sunrise," yawned Cyborg. "Time for bed." He then proceeded out of the room, leaving Raven who was still very much in deep thought and an awfully quiet Beast Boy to continue to enjoy the view from the window.

"You know," he said eventually. "Your haunted house was way creepier than that stupid movie. Any chance you'd want to do all this again for Halloween?"

Raven glanced at Beast Boy out of the corner of her eye. _'Leave it up to him to find the humor in a gloomy moment,'_ she thought. She then smirked and began to make her way towards the exit.

"I'm afraid not."


	19. Chapter 19: Forever Gone, Forever You

_**1700 hits. **_

CHAPTER 19

It was a cool autumn evening and Raven briskly paced back and forth in solitude within the entrance hall of Titans' Tower. It was pretty obvious that she was livid about something, and if it were humanly possible steam could've been seen rising from her head. Raven had never been this mad before - not even when she succumbed to her wrathful side or during her life-changing encounter with Magnus Onyx back on Azarath. So, what on Earth could've possibly happened that sent Raven's very blood to boil? We would simply have to look back on an earlier conversation the introverted mage had with a so-called friend …

"_Sorry. Didn't realize anyone was down here."_

_Raven looked up from the dusty tome she was reading. Standing across from her in the doorway of the entrance hall was a rather thin teenaged girl with long straight blonde hair and light blue eyes. She wore a long sleeved black crop-top turtleneck with a yellow Teen Titan insignia on the chest, yellow shorts, brown hiking boots, leather gloves and a pair of goggles which sat on top of her head. The girl smiled lightly at Raven, whose gaze simply returned to the depths of her book._

"_It's kind of late to be heading out - don't you think, Terra?"_

"_Oh, Mom…" laughed Terra. "You worry too much. Besides I checked in with Robin and he said that it was ok. I'm just going out to Burger World to grab a bite."_

"_I'm surprised Cyborg didn't beg you to let him tag along."_

"_Nah. Besides it's good to have some time to yourself everyone once and a while, right?"_

"_I guess…"_

_Terra nodded and began to make her way towards the exit of the Tower. As she passed Raven, she stared at her from the corner of her eye, and despite having a book physically blocking her view, Raven could still sense a bizarre change of emotions from within her._

_"Is there something wrong?" asked Raven levelly, peeking over her book. "I didn't come down here for you to stare at me."_

_"No, no. I was…just wondering how do you do it…"_

_Raven raised an eyebrow at this. "How do I do it? What is 'it'?"_

_"How you're able to enjoy being alone so often."_

_Raven promptly closed her book and stared Terra straight in the face. "Sorry," said Terra hastily while waving her hands. "Didn't mean anything by that…"_

_"I don't necessarily enjoy being by myself."_

_Terra stopped and turned around to face her. "What?"_

_"I don't necessarily enjoy being by myself. Sometimes - like tonight – I keep to myself because it gets too noisy around the others. But overall, I do it __not because I really __want__ to, but__ because I __have __to. Having unstable powers linked to emotions is very taxing, Terra, and you always have to worry if one tiny mistake you make will have huge consequences."_

"_I hear that."_

_Terra sighed and went to lean up against a nearby wall. "It's funny, you know," she said, taking the time to throw the stray strands of hair away from her face. "We hardly ever talk, but we got a lot in common – that is with controlling our powers anyway. Even with training, I always worry that I'll wind up hurting someone."_

"_That's why I keep my distance: to protect everyone from myself. I guess I'm too afraid that I'll accidentally hurt or even kill someone…again."_

"_Hold the phone. What do you mean 'again?'_

"…_It was an accident…sort of…"_

"_Either it was or it wasn't."_

"_I know. God, this is why I've never told anybody this before…It happened when I was a baby. A sorcerer was casting a spell to harm me and my mother, and even then at such an early age, I was apparently able to sense his cruel intentions. The rest is hazy, but witnesses later revealed to me that I cast a spell that somehow interfered with his and the result of the combination is what eventually killed him."_

"_Well then, you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. That really __was__ an accident."_

"_Then why does it still bother me?" said Raven, looking down at her feet. "I've never told the team this because I didn't know how they'd react. I already almost killed someone before you joined the team, and if they ever heard about this…"_

"_I don't think they would hold it against you."_

_Raven looked up at Terra, whose face was etched in a strange blend of sympathy and callousness. _

"_I sure don't."_

"_Really?"_

"_Before I joined the Titans, I've always had to fight to keep out of trouble, and I've always done what I could to help those in need, only to see it backfire on me. Maybe I'm being bitter, or maybe I'm just venting, but I always believed that 'what goes around comes around'. People who provoke you or try to harm you always get what's coming to them. It has to be. Otherwise I myself would be guilty of first-degree murder."_

_Raven stared at Terra for a moment. She then nodded in agreement and picked up the book she had set aside moments earlier. _

"_Hmm. I guess we got a lot more in common that we thought."_

"_Yeah…and you don't have to worry about me telling Beast Boy or Robin. It'll be our little secret…"_

_Raven smiled lightly. "Thanks. It feels strange, but good to sometimes talk. I don't normally open up to people about things this deep - not even with Starfire."_

"_So I've noticed. I guess this just means that you trust me. Like…we're friends?"_

"_Friends…"_

'_Some friend you turned out to be…' _thought Raven bitterly and she exhaled deeply to relieve some of her tension. Just mere hours ago, she and the Titans came across Terra while on a joyride through the city. Terra had sided with Slade several weeks back after the Tower was ransacked by Sladebots, and the two-faced blonde had returned that afternoon to finish what was started. Raven was suddenly jarred out of her thoughts by the sound of the front door opening. She went to lean up against a nearby wall as each Titan (who like Raven was bothered by their encounter with Terra) trudged inside. Cyborg went to sit in an armchair, while Robin, Starfire and Beast Boy went to recline over by the staircase. And there in almost total silence, the five Titans just stayed there brooding, the only sounds coming from Cyborg (who had begun to pick out tiny pieces of debris that had managed to get wedged in his circuitry). Eventually the overbearing silence grew to be too much, and Cyborg groaned angrily.

I should blasted her when I had the chance," he snapped.

"I should've hit her with everything I've got," said Raven.

"Why did I permit her to fool me again?" said Starfire sadly.

"Why couldn't we take her down just like any other criminal?" said Robin, who was beside himself.

"Because…" started Beast Boy. "…She's not just another criminal. She's Terra. She was a Titan. She was…our friend."

"Terra was _never_ our friend," hissed Raven. "She was a liar and a spy, trained by Slade and sent to destroy us. She's evil. Always has been…always will be."

"You don't know what you're talking about, okay Raven?" screamed an incensed Beast Boy. "She's made some serious mistakes, but she's not…"

"Hey, man. The girl wrecked my car," said Cyborg. "Seems pretty evil to me." Suddenly, Beast Boy seized the coffee table from in front of Cyborg and tossed it to the side, earning him both shocked and puzzled looks from everyone.

"This isn't a joke! I knew her better than anyone! I know all the terrible things she's done, and I know exactly how messed up she is. But she's not evil! We can't just give up on her."

Raven was rattled by this outburst, and even more so by what Beast Boy said, but she conveyed nothing on her face that proved otherwise._ ' He does have a point,' _she thought_. 'I __was__ supposed to be evil. I __am __supposed to do horrible things. What would have happened if Azar and Coman or even if Mother had just given up on me?'_

"Beast Boy," said Robin, walking over to Beast Boy. "She's working for Slade."

"When you were working for Slade, did we give up on _you_?"

An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"She gets one last chance," said Robin. _One_. We have to break Slade's grip on her. We have to try to get Terra back."

Just then, the Titans' alarm system went off, and Starfire jumped to her feet.

"Trouble!" she proclaimed. Instantly, Robin flipped out his communicator to get the specs of the situation.

"There's a jailbreak in progress at the Pacific Coast Maximum Security Prison. Titans, go!"

* * *

Hours later, Raven found herself creeping amongst the shadows of some of technological laboratory. She and the Titans arrived at the maximum security prison too little too late, and much to their dismay, they With three of the city's most notorious villains running loose, the Titans' worries about saving Terra got pushed to the background and for the sake of time, the team had no choice but to split up to round them up. Robin and Starfire went after Cinderblock, and Beast Boy and Cyborg went after Plasmus. Therefore, Raven was left with the task of tracking down and catching Overload on her own…

Raven rounded yet another corner in the research lab and soon heard the tell-tale screams and sounds of a battle underway. As she raced towards what was the room where the facility's top research project was under guard, two unarmed security guards came tearing down the hall and nearly collided into her.

"Let me guess: freakish embodiment of electricity and circuits running amok?"

The security guards feebly nodded and then took off running. Raven sighed and then phased out of the hallway and into the previously 'guarded' room. As she entered, she could see what was a humanoid body composed of microchips and surging electric sparks making its way towards a hovering microchip.

"So, Overload. Think you can handle a total blackout?"

Overload growled at the Titan and lashed out at her. Raven quickly retaliated with a force field that both blocked the attack and pushed the villain away from her. Overload ducked and weaved as Raven followed up the shield with a few bolts of energy, and he eventually phased into the floor grid of the room. He suddenly rematerialized in front of Raven, who was caught a little off guard…

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

Her quick thinking luckily created a shield that stop the attack aimed at her, but Raven gasped when she realized that he had also backed her up into a wall. Looking around for a way out, Raven's eyes soon widened when she noticed several pipes lined along the wall.

'_Bingo…'_

She then summoned her powers and caused the pipes to rupture, dousing Overload in water. Driven back by the force of water, Overload staggered back and eventually collapsed to the floor. The electrical current that was his body short-circuited and soon all that was left of him was the tiny circuit board that was his very core. Raven walked up to the tiny circuit board as the ruptured pipes began to pour mud into the room.

"What is your mission? Why are you…"

Raven was suddenly struck with a massive pile of brownish muck and she went sailing across the room.

"Hel-_lo?_" said a voice from afar.

Raven looked up, and she scowled as the familiar form of Terra appeared. She was now dressed in apparel that clearly illustrated her allegiance to Slade: her torso wrapped in cloth-like material, steel breastplate, gloves, boots and protective pads, a black codpiece and metal hair clip above her left ear and Slade's insignia upon her chest.

**I wanted you to be with me (**_**For so long I don't even know why now)  
**_**But now that I've given up on you (**_**Defiantly you see me)**_

"Does the word 'decoy' mean anything to you?" she said smugly. "We had to find some way to coax you cowards out of hiding."

"Terra."

"Raven."

"Traitor."

"Witch."

**Walking away I see the pain you put me through (**_**I see through you)  
**_**Lost in your game to change the same  
Forever gone, forever you**

The two former allies lunged at each other: Raven flew in while Terra rode a tidal wave of mud. They soon made contact and after a few weak punches, Raven kicked Terra square in the face, sending her falling down in the muck below. Terra sat up with a look of fierce determination and she quickly summoned a column of mud to raise her up into the air. Once she reached her elevation of choice, Terra jumped off and grabbed hold of Raven, and the two fell and disappeared into the mud once again. Raven instinctively held her breath as she went under but before she could think of a counterattack, she felt herself being pulled up to the surface by her hair and she heard Terra chuckle wickedly. Not one to leave a dangerous villainess to chance, Raven swung her arm and unleashed a burst of telekinesis and Terra sailed a couple of yards away. Raven then took off after Terra's fallen form and dunked her head under the mud.

"Raven, stop!" cried Affection. "You're going to kill her!"

'_Yeah, that's pretty much the point of putting her head under.'_

"Piss off, you pansy," growled Rage. "Finish the little monster off!"

"Raven, please," shouted Intelligence. "I know Terra has a newfound loyalty in your team's arch-nemesis, but what does it show others when you start stooping to her level?"

Raven pondered this for a second, but was broken out of her train of thought when a huge bubble broke from the surface and propelled her halfway across the room. As Raven staggered to her feet, she noticed Terra crouching in the mire ready to strike and with the touch of her hand, several clumps of mud began to levitate in the air around her. The lumps hardened into baked earth and then were hurled towards Raven. Raven however shielded herself with some of the paneling of the room and then launched the massive sheet of metal at her attacker. As the ton of metal closed in on her, Terra manipulated the mud in front of her so that it created a stone wall of protection. The barricade was damaged by the hit, but Terra quickly gathered up the pieces into the shape of a large fist…

'_Uh oh…'_

With a rebel yell, Terra launched the stone hand and Raven launched an attack of her own, secretly praying that it worked. The thrust of telekinesis succeeded in slicing the hand down the middle and Raven followed up the assault by grabbing hold on some equipment hanging overhead. Terra gasped and took to the air on a stone platform she had created as the massive ton of machinery sailed towards her. The machine exploded upon impact and Raven shielded her eyes from the glare. Once the view cleared, Raven anxiously scanned the room.

'_Where are you, you little…'_

**BAM! **Raven was struck on the back of her head by a clump of mud in the shape of a mallet and she tumbled down into the mud. As she resurfaced, Terra stood quite a ways from her onto of her little platform. She had somehow dodged the deadly blow meant for her.

**There's something very wrong about this (**_**I think you knew all along somehow**_**)  
You'll only take me to change my mind (**_**And leave me broken and defeated)  
**_**So far away I see the truth, I see through you (**_**I see through you**_**)  
Now that I know the way you play, I don't want to**

"You know, Raven, I never liked you."

Raven winced. She could only think back to all the times both her sixth sense and neurotic feelings warned her about associating with Terra (such as when Terra mysteriously returned with her powers in check after running away for a short period of time), and yet despite this, Raven tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. This of course only infuriated her more, especially knowing of the intimate things the two 'kindred' souls shared with each other.

'_If only I had acted on my gut instincts…'_

Raven glared at Terra, who still had that smirk plastered to her face. "I never even wanted to _know_ you," growled Raven as she climbed to her feet. "You may have fooled the others, but I always knew you were a liar."

"Oh, really?" scoffed Terra as her powers began to peel away the mud that coated one of her arms. "Is that why you let me live in your house and steal all your secrets and…"

"Shut up!" screeched Raven and launched a tidal wave of mud at her. Terra however parted the wave easily and continued to clean herself of the mire. "Calm yourself," said the voice of Intelligence. "You know of her tricks and yet you're playing right into her hands."

'_I got this!'_

Terra then summoned a fist-sized mudball to hover in front of her and she rode across the room on her makeshift platform. "You're not getting mad, are you, Rae?" she beamed as the clump of mud morphed into a fair likeness of Raven's face. "Oh, better be careful. Beast Boy told me all about your temper tantrums."

**Walking away I see the pain you put me through (**_**I see through you**_**)  
Lost in your game to change the same  
Forever gone, forever you**

"Anger is pointless," answered Raven, doing her best to follow Intelligence's advice and stay calm. "My emotions are under control."

"Nyah, nyah, nyah," mocked Terra. "'Anger is pointless.' And you're calling _me_ a liar?"

'_Screw this – I'm going to kill her…'_

Raven took off running, but didn't anticipate on the mud hand that emerged below her. As it caught hold of her ankle, Raven fell face first into the muck and Terra casually walked over to her while using levitating stones as a staircase.

"Come on, Raven. What stings the most? That I tricked you? That I nearly wiped out your team? That everyone liked me better than you?"

"Stop it!" screamed Raven as Terra's powers hardened the mud that now surrounded her. She bowed her head in defeat in a feeble attempt to ignore the cutting insults that Terra hurled her way.

"Or is it that deep down inside…you really believed I was your friend?"

'_You're evil to the core, Terra. But that's __nothing__ compared to what lurks inside of me…'_

Suddenly, the all too familiar form of Raven's wrath took over her body. She gained two pairs of hateful red eyes and she broke away from Terra's containment as she grew to an unthinkable height. "I trusted you!" she bellowed ominously. Terra looked on in terror as Raven's powers sent a barrage of rocks and other debris down on her. "_We_ trusted you! We gave you everything and you treated us like dirt!"

Terra staggered away as debris continued to fly her way and she leapt away as Raven hurled what must have been a supercomputer at her.

'_You want act like you're big and bad?! You want to play rough?! I'll give you rough!!'_

Raven then lunged at the frightened blonde, who frantically formed a pair of mud arms to keep the fuming demi-demon at bay. Soon more arms began to appear to drag Raven down, and Terra could do nothing but stand with her back to the wall in shock. Seconds later, her worried face switched to that of sheer malice and she slowly lowered her platform to watch as Raven struggled for dear life. Raven fought desperately to break away but was having very little luck and before she knew it, her head was bobbing up and down in the filthy mire. Her eyes suddenly snapped back to normal and she gasped and coughed as she went under. The last thing she remembered was Terra's smug little face and the four final words directed at her…

"Who's in control now?"

* * *

"_Raven, wake up…"_ said an ethereal voice from nowhere. Raven opened her eyes and instead of being submerged in mud, she was hovering in a vast empty space made up of soft and warm pastel colors. Raven raised an eyebrow in question, and she was understandably confused as to where she was. Did someone save her and bring her to a different location? Was she hallucinating? Was she…dead?

"What? Who's that? Where am I?"

"_Raven…come on…"_

"What do you want from me?"

"_You have to get up..." _

'Get up? What are you…"

"_You can't let her win. And you can't let the others down…"_

"I…I can't do it."

"_I know things seem grim but…"_

"I can't do it. Look at me! I'm supposed to be such a powerful person: a force to be reckoned with. If I can't even take out someone as weak and unstable as Terra, what am I going to do when the day of Trigon's return comes?"

"_You got to survive long enough first to actually see that day. And you can't do that if you give up your hold on life. Please Raven, wake up. Wake up…"_

Raven's eyes fluttered and when she opened them, she was laying in Starfire's lap. Standing over her was Beast Boy and Cyborg. Raven's eyes then panned across the room and instead of being in the computer lab where she fought Overload and Terra, the quartet was in some sort of underground cavern. Raven moaned and she started to rise from Starfire's arms.

"Raven! You are unharmed…mostly."

"Nice to see you guys too. Where are we?"

"We're hiding…like a bunch of 'fraidy cats," mumbled Cyborg as he helped her up. "Terra…she…"

"She came after you guys too?"

Cyborg and Starfire nodded sadly. Beast Boy simply turned his back and Raven sensed great feelings of hurt radiate from him. "She actually closed us up in a canyon," he said to no one in particular. "I can't believe she really wanted us dead. That…she wanted _me_ dead."

"You are not alone," said Starfire. "I too was skeptical to believe that someone who called herself a friend could do such detestable things. I fear that there is no redemption for her."

"Where's Robin?" asked Raven looking around. "I've got the feeling he'll be here soon," said Cyborg. "I activated my silent tracker for him to find us and my stats read that he's alive and well."

"Thank Azar. I'm not losing anyone to that little stick person, and she must be stopped at all costs."

**So far away I see the truth, I see through you (**_**I see through you**_**)  
Now that I know the way you play, I don't want to  
****Walking away I see the pain you put me through (**_**I see through you**_**)  
**

"Straight up. We tried to reason with her but no more. No more chances."

"No more trust," said Starfire.

"And no more mercy," replied Raven.

"She's just another criminal," said Beast Boy, his voice taking on a very serious tone.

"And we're going to stop her…"

The Titans turned towards the source of the voice and Starfire raised a lit hand towards the darkened space. It was none other than Robin, and aside from his slightly tattered clothes, he was still all in one piece.

"No matter what it takes…"

**Lost in your game to change the same  
Forever gone, forever you….  
**


	20. Chapter 20: Everybody's Fool

**1900 hits.**

**Yeah it's rather short one this time around, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless…**

* * *

CHAPTER 20

"Her name was Terra... She was gifted with tremendous power - and cursed with it as well. She was a dangerous enemy…and a good friend. And she was one of the bravest people that I have ever known…"

**Perfect by nature  
Icons of self indulgence**

High on top of a makeshift stage in a wide open field several miles from Jump City, Beast Boy cleared his throat and continued to speak from a podium as a small of spectators – namely those of the Justice League and a superhero known by the name Geoforce - watched in silence. It had been several days since the Titans' near brush with death and after a brief period of hiding underground (the city which by that point had been completely overrun with Sladebots), the team launched a counterattack against Terra and Slade. During their final confrontation however, Terra had a sudden change of heart and wildly lashed out at Slade, resulting in his untimely demise and the triggering of a massive volcanic eruption. In the end, had it not been for Terra's ultimate sacrifice, the entire city would've perished, and now as things slowly went back to normal, the Titans and their closest associates held a private ceremony on behalf of the bravery of the 'fallen' Titan...

**Just what we all need  
More lies about a world that  
Never was and never will be  
Have you no shame? Don't you see me?  
You know you've got everybody fooled**

As Beast Boy spoke, Raven found it exceptionally hard to follow along. She was still trying to understand how exactly did things get so bad and why was it that the team (as well as some of the most honorable and renowned superheroes in the world) felt it necessary to pay homage to Terra. She then glanced over to Beast Boy when the tiny audience began to clap, and spotted what appeared to be some sort of plaque in his hands. The other Titans who sat alongside of Raven began to clap as well (though nowhere as vigorously as the others) while Raven sat stone-faced from the grand display of support.

After the ceremony had ended, Raven and the others made the lonely trek to what remained of Slade's lair. Starfire had bought some roses earlier and she wished to lay them at the memorial the team made for Terra. Raven of course had her own thoughts about the matter, but nonetheless she accompanied the team so that they could all pay their respects and put the past behind them. True be told, Raven had no intention on ever returning back there again, and even when the others had gone over the past few days to clean up and prepare Terra's resting place, Raven remained at the Tower silently sulking and cursing to herself. '_I just can't see why we are praising this traitorous bitch for,' _thought Raven, as the quintet rode in silence to their destination_. 'Why are we laying her to rest with the belief that she died in the line of duty? Robin's only going with that story simply because he doesn't want the bad press of Terra revealed to the public or Terra's brother, and Starfire's so forgiving, she'd fall to pieces if we said otherwise. And then there's that bond that she supposedly shared with Beast Boy, so of course he goes up on stage and tries to sugarcoat what actually happened. But not me. I can't just let it go. I just can't.'_

**Look! Here she comes now  
Bow down and stare in wonder  
Oh! How we love you  
No flaws when you're pretending**

"Aren't you being a bit harsh?" inquired Affection. "I mean she _did _sacrifice herself to save everyone, and she did own up to what she did. That's notable on her part."

'_But if it wasn't for her, the volcano wouldn't have gone off in the first place! Terra played us all for fools. She constantly lied to us and manipulated us into sharing our deepest thoughts and secrets. She almost killed everyone who tried to help her and for what? What really pisses me off is that if we didn't back her into a corner when we did and if she didn't get the impression that she and Slade were going to lose to us, she still would've crushed Beast Boy with that boulder. She still would've taken us out. She still would be running amok...'_

"Raven…"

'_Well she deserved it. She deserved everything she had coming to her. After all, 'what goes around comes around'.'_

"Oh really?" came the voice of Rage. "So does that mean that you should be killed for what you've done or better yet what you're destined to do?"

'…That's an entirely different matter.'

"How?"

'_It…it just is…'_

"You're fooling yourself, Raven. You want to act like you hate the girl. You want to act like you're all high and mighty and that you live with a clean slate. But the simple truth is that you and Terra are practically like two halves from the same mirror."

'_I'm nothing like that traitor.'_

**But now I know she never was and never will be  
You don't know how you've betrayed me  
And somehow you've got everybody fooled**

"You're lying to yourself…"

'_You're crazy. That walking stick chose to side with Slade. She chose to hurt those who only wanted the best for her. She chose to give in when things got tough. In fact I think the real reason why she stayed behind to stop the volcano was that she didn't want to face us again and death was more welcoming than going to prison and enduring public shame.'_

**Without the mask where will you hide?  
Can't find yourself, lost in your lie**

"Maybe so…but what about you? What exactly do _you_ plan on doing when the time comes for Trigon's return? Will you fight him or give in to his demands? Would you protect your so-called friends, or will you throw them and the prospect of a 'happily ever after' away without a second thought when you finally realize there's no holding off the inevitable…"

'_I…'_

**  
I know the truth now **  
**I know who you are  
And I don't love you anymore**

"Speechless? I thought so. It's like I said before: you and Terra are more similar than you care to think. Actually when you sit back and think about it, it seems to me that it is _you_ who the others really should be concerned about. After all, you're the one who's been lying to them since Day 1, oh Wolf in Sheep's Clothing. You're probably even jealous of Terra - since you know what she did pales in comparison to what you're going to do. Face it: by the time the prophecy is fulfilled, the Titans, Jump City, even the entireworld is going to hate you… more so than they could have _ever_ hated Terra…"

The Titans eventually pulled up to the desecrated remains of Slade's headquarters, and one by one the team walked down the muddy path into what was now Terra's 'resting place'. As they entered the cave-like tomb, Raven's eyes for the first time fell upon what remained of Terra. As she had been told by the others, Terra was somehow turned to stone during her sacrifice for Jump City. Her arms were spread wide, her legs were braced, and her hair was frozen as if it were blowing in the wind. Terra's form had also been moved from the pillar she last stood on and was now resting on a plateau. The other Titans slowly made their way towards Terra while Raven lingered by the entrance, her feet practically glued to the floor.

**It never was and never will be  
You don't know how you've betrayed me  
And somehow you've got everybody fooled**

"Raven…" said Intelligence. "I…"

'_Do you agree with her?'_

"What?"

'_Do you agree with what Rage said? Am I really fooling myself for hating Terra so much? Am I really just as bad, if not worse than she was?'_

**It never was and never will be  
You're not real and you can't save me  
And somehow now you're everybody's fool…**

"Honestly? Yes and no. You both have had it rough when it came to childhood, and you've both have had issues with trust and loyalty. However, it's like you said to Rage as well. Even though the odds were stacked against her, Terra still had a choice to do what was right, but blatantly did otherwise. And we'll probably never know if her change of heart was motivated by sincerity or selfishness. But one thing's clear: you are not what so many people paint you out to be, Raven. You have proven so over the course of time and when that 'Judgment Day' rolls around, you'll finally prove all the skeptics wrong…"

Raven lowered her head. _'Somehow, I'm really not so sure about that...' _

She then looked down the path at the Titans - who were just arriving in front of Terra's statue. Raven walked down to joined them as Starfire knelt down to lay her bouquet at Terra's feet. She then winced slightly for radiating from every last one of them were feelings of remorse and sorrow - the strongest of these coming from Beast Boy. Raven turned to get a good look at him, and the normally energetic jokester was a lone shadow of his former self. He held the plaque feebly in his hands, his elf-like ears were drooped over, and he looked as if he were seconds from bursting into tears. Raven then looked up to get a good look at Terra's face and etched into it was a sense of anguish and hopelessness.

_'I don't know what your deal was, Terra. But I realize now that we really were very similar. There were things that we related to, and I guess that's why what you did to us…what you did to me…hurt so much. And just like I've been forgiven for the things I have done and have yet to do, it's only right for me to forgive you to. After all, I don't think that in the end it's me you'll have to answer to. And, maybe someday this all make sen…'_

Raven stopped in mid-thought as faint traces of emotion radiated from within the statue in front of her. It was as if some sort of life force was struggling to make itself heard, some sort of spirit struggling to stay alive. But that was impossible...wasn't it?

'_Terra?'_

"Raven, is something wrong?" asked Robin.

"It's Terra. I… don't think she's dead."

The other Titans looked on in disbelief, and Beast Boy in his state of shock nearly dropped the plaque.

"Are you serious?" questioned Beast Boy, fumbling with the five pound piece of metal.

"It's a feeling I have – like this statue has her in a state of unconsciousness. She's not dead, but who's to say that she'll ever 'live' again either. Her powers are rather unique and I don't know how long she can last like this."

"Still," said Starfire solemnly as she looked up at Terra. "All that has transpired here is most disheartening. I shall still grieve, and I shall miss you, friend."

"Don't worry, Star," said Raven. _"We'll _be searching for a way to reverse the effect."

Robin looked at Raven who in turn looked at him and nodded. A sense of mutual understanding passed between them and he turned to face Terra once more.

"We'll bring her back," he said.

"…Someday," added Cyborg.

Beast Boy walked up to Terra's pedestal and finally set down the plaque he held. He ran a gloved hand across it to set it firmly in place and to dust it off. "I'll never forget you, Terra," he said, his voice slightly breaking. The others then slowly began to depart from the tomb, and Raven stop for a moment to watch as Beast Boy stood silently with his head bowed and his eyes closed. He then lifted his head and began to follow the others out while Raven eyed the simple message of the plaque for the first but definitely not last time:

TERRA

A TEEN TITAN

A TRUE FRIEND


	21. Chapter 21: Going Under

**1990 hits. **

**I'm sorry for the lack of updates and for the sucky chapter (see second author note at the end of the chapter.) Hopefully things will let up some so that I can keep this story going the way I want to. I also have a few one-shots in the works, so hopefully those will help fill the void and keep your interest in between updates…**

CHAPTER 21

Raven rolled her eyes and sighed deeply. It was early morning – very early morning - and instead of being able to enjoy the calm and quiet that blanketed Jump City, the normally reclusive Titan was now sitting in front of a large console along with Cyborg, Beast Boy and Starfire inside of the Tower's infirmary. Robin, their beloved leader had endured a terrible incident earlier that day and as he laid in the adjacent room, the others were carefully studying his statistics. Unfortunately for the team though, it wasn't just your average everyday injury or sickness that plagued Robin, and what made matters worse was that the person responsible for his misery had a reputation of attacking his enemies with a deadly combination of brute force and cunning tact, and for what had started out as an average night for the Teen Titans quickly turned into one filled with many doubts - and in Raven's case - many disappointments…

_Several hours ago, the Titans were roused from their sleep to investigate a distress call at __Pacific Coast Maximum Security Prison. Cinderblock (for the umpteenth time) had broken out of solitary confinement, and the local authorities needed assistance in recapturing him and bringing him back to their facilities. Several destroyed vehicles and a buckled roadway later, the Teen Titans managed to complete their task, but it was only then when they realized that something was wrong and more importantly that Robin had gone missing during the fight. After a through search in the immediate area in the pouring rain, the Titans found Robin, and he__had a very sour look on his face - one that Raven hadn't seen in almost six months…_

"_Slade," stated Robin simply. "He's back."_

_The others looked on in disbelief, and while Raven's face remained as indifferent as ever, deep inside her very heart raced. It was with good reason too since it always seemed that whenever Slade was involved, it was always Robin who suffered the most. Even more distressing was the very thought that Slade could have actually survived his memorable confrontation with Terra…_

"_You sure it was him?" asked Cyborg. "I mean, you kind of had Slade on the brain lately. Maybe…"_

"_It __was__ him. He's going to create a massive earthquake, and we have three hours to stop it!"_

"_I don't get it. The dude fell into a pit of lava. Who lives through something like that?"_

"_Apparently, Slade," said Raven. _

"_Yeah," said Beast Boy, who sounded very congested. All of the running around in the rainstorm had caused him to come down with a bad cold. "He's pretty…pretty…"_

_Three violent sneezes from the changeling resulted in three series of changes for him: from a sloth to a velociraptor and then a fish. As he changed back into a human, Beast Boy wiped his runny nose._

"…_Slippery," he finally concluded._

"_We'll worry about how Slade survived later," said Robin. "Right now, all that matters is how we stop him. Cyborg, check out the bridge. Raven, take the park. Beast Boy, the pier. Starfire…we're going after Slade…_

Raven drummed her fingers alongside of the keyboard and got up from her seat to stretch her legs. Her tired violet eyes glanced across the room at Beast Boy who was reclining in a chair with an ice bag held up to his forehead while Starfire anxiously paced back and forth and watched Cyborg, who manned the consoles.

"But must we keep him restrained?" pleaded Starfire. It wasn't sitting too well with her that Cyborg had actually strapped Robin to his hospital bed – and with multiple restraints at that. Then again, Raven wasn't too happy about it either...

"He threatened us, Star," replied Cyborg. "He's dangerous."

"_Dangerous_?" said Beast Boy. "Try totally flipped-out, coo-coo labonza!"

_After an unfruitful search for the three seismic-generators allegedly positioned throughout the city_,_ the Titans returned to the remains of Slade's first hideout – since Starfire's testimony and Cyborg's tracking system had declared that Robin had returned here. As the team feverishly searched every inch of the desecrated fortress, Cyborg's computer picked up on something. _

"_Robin's locator signal!" shouted Cyborg, stopping everyone in their tracks. "He's nearby!"_

_Just then__ the team heard Robin's scream __echo __through the very walls and seconds after the anguished cry, a couple of loud crashes followed._

"_Very__ nearby," added Raven, and she and the others took off running. The Titans ran through the numerous hallways filled with twisted industrial wreckage and debris, and eventually they came across a doorway with the actual door knocked clear off its hinges. As the Titans cautiously walked in, Robin woozily backed into view, appearing as if he'd been to hell and back. __"__Robin!" cried Starfire, her voice heavy with concern. Robin suddenly took off across the room, and as Cyborg turned on his shoulder-mounted flashlight to see what was wrong, the others looked on in confusion as Robin stumbled and continued to react as if he was being ruthlessly beaten by an invisible foe._

"_Um, since when is Robin into mime?" asked Beast Boy._

_Suddenly, __Robin whirled around to face them, and the Titans gasped upon seeing the excessive amount of injuries to both his clothing and person. He even had an eye that was blackened and nearly swollen shut._

"_SLADE!!" he shouted._

**Now I will tell you what I've done for you:  
Fifty thousand tears I've cried  
****Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you  
****And you still won't hear me**_** - going under…**_

_Starfire in response to this lifted one hand, lighting it up a brilliant green, and she used the glow to assist in spotting the 'elusive' villain. However as the four pairs of eyes painstakingly searched the room, it was clear to them that there was no one else here._

"_What are you doing here?!" shouted Robin. "You're supposed to be finding the generators!"_

"_I don't think there __are__ any generators, man," answered Cyborg. "We looked everywhere."__**  
**_

"_Slade must be cloaking them, just like he's cloaking himself! That's why you couldn't see him!"_

"_But if I could not see him," said Starfire. "…Why could you?"_

"…_What are you trying to say?"_

_Raven stepped out in front of the others, silently hoping that she could somehow defuse the situation. _

"_Robin, are you sure you __really__ saw Slade?"_

"_Saw__ him? I fought him! You think I did this to myself?"_

"_Dude, this is the only way out," said Beast Boy. "And we were standing here the whole time. No one got past us."_

"_No one was in here but us," said Cyborg. _

**Don't want your hand this time – I'll save myself  
****Maybe I'll wake up for once (Wake up for once)  
****Not tormented daily, defeated by you  
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom**

"_I don't have time for this," growled Robin, storming towards the doorway. I have to find those generators." However before he could advance any further, Cyborg stepped in front of him._

"_There __are__ no generators! There __is__ no Slade!"_

"_I __know__ what I __saw__!__" screamed Robin fanatically. "I have to stop him! __I'm__ the only one who can! And __I'll__ take down __anyone__ who gets in my way!"_

**I'm…dying again**

_In the blink of an eye, Robin had a birdarang in his hand and was rearing to go, while Beast Boy, Cyborg and Raven looked on in shock at his sudden and tumultuous outburst. But just as it seemed that Robin was about to attack, a starbolt suddenly struck him square in the back and he sank to the ground. Raven then looked up at Starfire – who had fortunately snuck up behind Robin to deliver the blow – and it was obviously that the Tamarenean was broken up about what she had done._

"_Am I a bad person?" she whispered almost inaudibly. _

"_Of all the people I've known, you're…" started Raven. "…It was painful to see, but…"_

_Raven's voice trailed off and she turned away, deeply grateful that her hood concealed her saddened face. Cyborg and Beast Boy meanwhile walked over to take a look at the now unconscious Robin. _

"_I think what Raven is trying to say," said Cyborg. "…Is that you did what was necessary in order for us to help Robin, even if it meant you had to take him out. At least now we should be able to take him to the med bay to inspect him…try and see what's going on inside that head of his."_

"_He is not insane!" shouted Starfire. "Robin has all of his thinking abilities!"_

"_No one said he was insane, Star…"_

"_Speak for yourself…" quipped Beast Boy._

"_Beast Boy…" growled Raven._

"_But, there is clearly something going on that we're not aware of," continued Cyborg. "We'll have to check him out just to be safe. Plus, we can tend to all those wounds he's gotten…."_

"We've got to run some tests on him," said Raven to Starfire. "Figure out what's going on."

Starfire sighed and began to pace the room once more. Raven turned her attention back to the monitors and once again silence filled the room. As several tense minutes ticked on by, Raven racked her brain for any hints that could unravel the mystery of what it was that plagued Robin.

'_Intense paranoia…violent tendencies…seeing and hearing things that aren't really there. Why does this seem so familiar?__I have to agree with Star though in that Robin's not insane. That type of thing just doesn't occur overnight. Something must've happened that triggered this response from him – but what? We've got to get to the bottom of this. We owe that much to Robin. __I__ owe that much to him…'_

"Please," said Starfire, who approached Raven and Cyborg once more. "You have uncovered the cause of his strange behavior?"

"So far… everything looks normal."

"But he is _not_ normal! Robin would not do these things. He would not threaten his friends, he would not shout at me or…there _is_ a cause! And you _must_ find it!"

"Star, I'm sure there's a good explanation, okay?" said Beast Boy feebly. "Maybe Slade really _is _invisible and we just can't…"

"No," rebutted Cyborg. He still would have shown up on my radar. I'm telling you, he wasn't…"

Suddenly the monitor with Robin's statistics began to flash red and Robin's heart rate began to accelerate. Raven and Cyborg quickly returned their attention back to the console while Starfire and Beast Boy quickly gathered around.

"His heart rate is off the charts!" gasped Raven.

"Blood pressure, neural kinetics…" said Cyborg reading off the numbers onscreen. "Most people can't survive this kind of stress!"

The scrambled heartbeat continued for another few seconds, and much to the team's horror it suddenly flat-lined. Both Starfire and Raven's eyes became as big as saucers.

"ROBIN!"

Starfire and the others rushed into the adjacent ward room and as the door slid open, they were left speechless. There and across the doorway was an empty hospital bed with a pile of unfastened straps and buckles lying on top of the mattress. A second bed laid turned on its side near the window. However Robin was nowhere to be seen…

'_What the heck happened in here?'_

"Wow," said Beast Boy as he and the others walked in. "And I thought _I_ didn't like going to the doctor. Starfire meanwhile stopped at the empty bed and picked up a few of the sensors that were once affixed to Robin.

"But where is Robin?"

_**THUMP! **_

"There!" shouted Cyborg.

Everyone in the room glanced up at the ceiling and they noticed that the hatch to the air vent hung open on its hinges. Beast Boy immediately changed into a hummingbird and flew upward. However before he could enter the shaft to investigate, a metal sheet slid across to close it off and he crashed head-on into it. All around the room, similar barricades began to come down over all the windows and even the door, eliciting startled gasps from Starfire and Cyborg. Just then a shrill emergency signal began to sound off.

"Robin's activated the quarantine protocol," said Raven as she analyzed one of the screens. "Nothing can get in or out."

"We shall see about that!" declared Starfire and she hurled a starbolt at the barricaded door. However the door's density withheld the fiery blast and the Titans watched as it ricocheted off the metal sheet and hazardously bounced all across the room.

"Careful, Star!" said Cyborg as the starbolt narrowly missed his head.

"We must find Robin!" Starfire cried, pounding on the door with her fists. Eventually she let up on the beating (since this too wasn't having any effect) and went to lean up against the door. Cyborg placed a comforting hand to comfort her for a moment and then motioned for her to step to the side. Starfire watched anxiously as a chainsaw extended from Cyborg's left arm and he went to work on the door.

_'They'll never get through that door to catch up to him in time,'_ thought Raven nervously as she looked on. She then gazed up at the closed air shaft and an idea quickly formed in her mind. Raven then got into her meditation stance and in a few seconds she was hovering in midair.

"What are you doing?" asked Beast Boy, who at this time was lying on an empty hospital bed.

"Finding Robin. Azarath Metrion Zinthos…"

Raven's eyes began to glow an ethereal white light, and Beast Boy watched as her soul self soon materialized and exited the room through the blocked air shaft. In her outer body form, Raven frantically searched every nook and cranny of the numerous air ducts of the Tower for Robin, knowing that there wasn't a second to lose and that Robin could die at any moment.

'_Please, let me be able to help him - and please let __him__ let me help him…'_

**I'm going under (Going under)  
Drowning in you (Drowning in you)**

Raven continued her trek through the Tower's ventilation system and eventually the tormented BoyWonder came into her view. As Raven came into contact with him, a blinding white light washed over the two and Raven founded herself hovering in a space that reminded her of the one that represented her own mind. The sky here however was of a stormy blue-gray, and a fierce wind blew across the plain. Also, instead of seeing a few doorways that would have probably housed his emotions, there were myriads upon myriads of doors, each one hovering throughout the area. As Raven floated around aimlessly, she noticed that almost every single one of the doors were swinging open and close, and as she passed them she could also see and hear visions of the past hidden inside. Raven looked on as one door near by her opened, and a series of Slade images that were once on the main console screen in Titans' Tower quickly flashed in front of her…

'_This is it. I'm actually inside Robin's mind – but in his weakened state I can see all of his thoughts and memories – even the things that he would normally keep hidden from everyone.'_

"We should leave," said the quiet voice of Timidity. "This is an invasion of Robin's privacy and if he finds us here..."

'_Trust me, Timidity. I'm not exactly ecstatic to be here right now – especially under these circumstances. . I'm all for respecting other peoples' privacy and boundaries, but if I'm going to be of any help to Robin, I'll have to dig deeper into his subconscious to figure out what's going on…'_

"Robin…we're here to help you…" said Raven calmly.

"Raven!" echoed Robin's voice throughout the area. "What are you…you have to get out! Slade! He'll destroy you!"

**I'm falling forever (Falling forever)  
I've got to break through  
I'm going under**

Raven hissed as Robin's heartbeat reached a deafening volume and ungodly fast pace. She then moaned as a huge invisible presence pushed against her and nearly forced her out from Robin's mind. As she strengthened her hold on him and refocused her thoughts, Raven could now see from Robin's perspective the basement of Titans' Tower and an opened box coming into view.

'_Robin please, don't throw me out. You have to let me help you. It's the only way…'_

"Robin, your heart…You're in danger. You have to trust me…"

**Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies  
So I don't know what's real  
****(So I don't know what's real and what's not)  
So I don't know what's real and what's not**

Raven gasped as she now watched Robin's gloved hands reached into the crate to take out one of Slade's masks and the solitary eye of the mask glowed red. Suddenly the door closed itself shut and Raven staggered back.

**Always confusing the thoughts in my head  
So I can't trust myself anymore**

'_Oh dear Azar…could it really be __him__…?'_

The sound of another nearby door blowing open and close caused Raven to whirl around and she hurriedly made her way towards it. She opened it, but then saw only a memory of Robin and the rest of the team enjoying a day out in the park. Raven closed the door and hurried over to the next one. As she peeked inside, it was relatively dark but eventually Raven was able to make out two silhouettes standing within a cavern and a great number of bats that flew high above them. The first figure had a familiar spiky-hairdo and his left hand appeared to be resting on a book while his right hand was raised as if he was swearing an oath. The second figure was rather tall and nearly his entire form was hidden in the shadows. His only visible features were that of his somber dark eyes and the pointed ears that rested on top of his head – or more correctly his cowl…

'_The legendary Bat-Cave… So this is when Robin actually became Batman's sidekick…'_

Raven raced towards yet another door and flung it open. Inside was a scene of Robin and the boys in a fierce video game match. Raven groaned in annoyance and went off to find another door. Another opened doorway revealed to her the center ring of a circus big top. Standing on top of the high wire was a beautiful brunette woman and her equally dashing husband. Raven looked on in horror as the high wire that held up the costumed duo suddenly snapped, and the couple began to plunge to their deaths while the audience screamed in terror. Raven closed the door just before the couple hit the floor, and a lump formed in her throat as she could clearly hear the hysteric screams of a young boy.

'_I had no idea that he actually witnessed his parents' death…God, what does that do to a person…'_

Raven went to yet another doorway, but for some strange reason, the door refused to open. Raven raised an eyebrow at this and struggled with the knob.

'_Interesting. Out of all the doors I've tried so far, only this one has managed to keep itself shut tight. What could possibly be hiding in here?'_

"I don't think you should open that door," said Timidity once again. "Take it as a sign that you're not meant to see what's inside.

'_But what's inside of here may just be the answer to all this madness. I'm getting this door open if it's the last thing I…'_

**I'm…dying again  
****I'm going under (Going under)  
Drowning in you (Drowning in you)**

Raven's thoughts trailed off as the door hesitantly came open, and she stared inside at something that clearly rocked her world. Her jaw dropped and her eyes grew large.

"Raven, what's wrong?" asked Timidity. But Raven was unresponsive and her eyes had started to tear up.

"Raven? What are you looking at?"

But there was still no reply. Eventually though, Raven summoned up the strength and frame of mind to pull herself away from the doorway (though this time she didn't even bothering to try and force it back shut). She then sighed and blinked back the tears that threatened to escape from her eyes.

**  
I'm falling forever (Falling forever)  
I've got to break through  
I'm…**

'_I'll explain later. Right now, I have to speak to Robin...'_

Raven then tilted her head upward and began speaking with Robin once more.

"Slade isn't here, Robin!" she declared loudly. "And he's not in the Tower…"

"No! He's here!" Robin insisted. "He's real! I've seen him!"

"Then let me see him…through your eyes."

Raven could hear Robin sighed sadly and once again she felt a strong force beckoning for her to leave him be.

**So go on and scream  
Scream at me, I'm so far away (So far away)**

"Robin, hear me out," she pleaded. "Of all the times for you to want to push me away, this is the absolute worst. I _want _to understand what you're feeling and going through! I _want_ to be able to help you! I only _want_ what's best for _you_! But if you're closing me out, how can I do that? How can I do any of that?"

Raven felt and heard Robin's heartbeat slow down a bit and he began to take in a few deep breaths. The wind began to ease up some and Raven clasped her hands together as if in prayer.

"Please…let me through…if only for this one time…"

Robin continued to take several deep breathes and on the last exhale he stood up and opened his eyes. Raven could now see that they were still in the ventilation system and that apart from the fan that blew behind them, there was no one in sight.

**I won't be broken again (Again)  
I've got to breathe, I can't keep going under**

"See, Robin?" Raven said comfortingly as the two simultaneously surveyed the area. "There's no one here. There never was…"

Suddenly, from practically nowhere, Slade came charging at the two avian-named Titans. As he threw a punch straight at them, Raven screamed and flew backwards. When she reopened her eyes, she found herself lying on her back in the Tower's medical bay and Beast Boy leaned over her.

"SLADE!!" she gasped as she sat up straight.

"You _saw_ him?" said Cyborg.

"I don't know if he's real or not, but he's real to Robin…" Raven said, rising from the floor. "And that's all that matters. The stress on his brain is destroying his body. Robin truly believes he's fighting Slade…and Slade is winning."

"Unacceptable!" shrieked Starfire. "We must vacate the infirmary and assist Robin!"

"I agree, Star," said Cyborg. But as long as that quarantine is up and running, none of us can get out. Raven, do you think you could link back up with Robin – just so that we have some idea on how he's faring? I'll keep working on the door."

"And I'll try to pull that vent open," said Beast Boy and he immediately sneezed himself into the form of an octopus. Several of his tentacles draped around the air vent and he started to pull. Raven meanwhile stood in the middle of the floor in a complete daze.

"Raven?" said Starfire. "Is there something wrong?"

Raven shook her head and reassumed her lotus position. "I'm fine," she snapped and went to close her eyes. Starfire meanwhile just shot her a puzzled look.

"Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos…"

When Raven opened her eyes, once again she could see a half-conscious Boy Wonder battling it out with Slade. Eventually the fight proved to be too much for Robin and before he (or Raven) knew it, Robin was being hauled up by his cape by Slade. Raven winced as Robin was then thrown down a flight of stairs and he fell into a stack of boxes. One of the overhead lights in the room flickered a bit—and each time it came on, Slade mysteriously disappeared from view. As Slade continued his descent to the floor and to his victim, Robin feebly tried to crawl away.

"You always knew it was going to end this way," he said in that cold calculating voice of his. He then grabbed a handful of Robin's hair and dragged him up off the floor to deliver the final blow.

"No…"

**I'm…dying again**

"ROBIN!"

For the second time that night, Raven snapped out of her trance and as the boys continued trying to loosen the barricades surrounding the exits, Starfire quickly approached Raven to see what was wrong.

"I can feel him," said Raven, her voice slightly wavering. "He's not going to make it!"

"Then let us end this battle!" said Starfire, reaching down to dig all ten of her fingers into the floor tiles. "_NOW!_"

**I'm going under (Going under)  
Drowning in you (Drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (Falling forever)  
****I've got to break through**

With very little effort on her part, Starfire tore up a large section of the floor and then dove in, while Cyborg and Beast Boy hustled over to peer down into the gaping hole.

"Whoa…" said Beast Boy. "Remind me to never get her mad."

"Come on," said Cyborg, grabbing him, and the three Titans jumped in after Starfire -who was already streaking down the hallway of the lower level and towards the nearest staircase. Beast Boy morphed into a cheetah and followed after her while Cyborg and Raven raced down the other staircase. As they flew down flight after flight, Raven caught fleeting glimpses of Robin's confrontation with Slade and she could hear the latter's voice taunting the former…

"_I won't stop…"_

"_I am the thing that keeps you up at night…"_

**I'm…going under (Going under)**

"_The evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind…."_

"_I will never rest…and neither will you..."  
_**  
Going under (Drowning in you)**

Eventually Cyborg and Raven ran into Beast Boy – who had reached the door leading to the basement at the same time as they had – and the three crowded around the top of the stair to watch as Starfire flew down to Robin. Just as he had appeared several minutes ago back in the medical bay, Robin was a living wreck. Fresh new cuts and bruises dotted his face and body and he was so exhausted that Starfire had to hold him up in her arms.

"It's okay, Starfire," Robin said weakly. "It's okay…"

'_Are you sure about that?'_ thought Raven sourly as she watched Starfire gingerly help Robin to his feet. She then spun on her heel and briskly began to make her way back to the upper levels of the Tower.

"Hey Raven!" cried Beast Boy. "Aren't you going to…"

"No," she said shortly, and with that slammed the door closed. Beast Boy and Cyborg meanwhile just looked at each other.

"What's her deal?"

**I'm going under…**

* * *

**In this chapter, Robin suffered from something that easily would remind one of a schizophrenic episode and ****schizophrenia itself is a chronic, severe, and disabling brain disorder that surprisingly affects only about 1 percent of Americans. People with schizophrenia tend to hear voices other people don't hear or they may believe that others are reading their minds, controlling their thoughts, or plotting to harm them or others. These experiences can cause fearfulness, withdrawal, or extreme agitation. People with schizophrenia also may not make sense when they talk (saying things sproadically or at inapproapriate times, making outbursts), may sit for hours without moving or talking much, or may seem perfectly fine until they talk about what they are really thinking. Because many people with schizophrenia have difficulty holding a job or caring for themselves, (not to mention that it is quite difficult to try and be sympathetic towards such inflicted ones) the burden on their families and society is significant as well. Such is the case for me since I still live at home with my aunt (who unfortunately has been displaying such symptoms as of late.) Hopefully she doesn't become one of the few cases in which people have turned violent and/or suicidal, but readers, please bear with me during this difficult time as I try to juggle work and my newfound duties at home and amongst my family. Also, if by some chance you or someone else close to you is showing symptoms or has schizophrenia, there is still hope and there are sources out there to fully understand the causes of this illnesses and ways to both prevent and treat it. Just view my profile for more info...**


	22. Chapter 22: Solitude

**Thanks for the morale support, guys. I really appreciate it at this most difficult time. Also for you Rob/Rae fans, prepare to have your hopes dashed to the rocks below. However don't start flaming me – after all, you have been warned…**

* * *

CHAPTER 22

The rain was still coming down hard when Raven returned to her room. It was roughly 5 a.m: nearly two hours since Robin's frightening ordeal with Slade and Raven's attempt to bond with Robin. As the door to her room hissed shut, Raven massaged her throbbing temples and went to sit on her bed.

'_Dear Azar, what a night this was.'_

"I'll say," said the voice of Rage. "Now _that_ was entertainment. You just can't make that kind of stuff up."

"Oh piss off, Rage," shouted Bravery. "Always coming out of your face when you know so much about nothing…"

"No one was talking to you, you little…"

Raven rolled her eyes and left the two overly assertive emotions to battle it out amongst themselves while she went on to take off her boots. After allowing them to fall to the floor, Raven flopped back onto her bed and went on to stare at the ceiling. It was strange really - after all with everything that had occurred a few hours ago, Raven should have very easily been able to go back to sleep. However at the same time it was _because_ of everything that had happened that made it quite impossible for her to wind down for the night. Therefore there she laid wide-awake…

Wide-awake and confused…

Wide-awake, confused…and brokenhearted…

_Raven stood in the stormy plain that represented Robin's fragile mind frame. Before her were numerous doors and each one of them housed the memories, dreams and fears of the stern leader of the Teen Titans. Normally Raven took the matter of invading someone's privacy very seriously – Beast Boy could vouch for that in a heartbeat – but when strange and troubling symptoms began to plague Robin, she took a chance in breaking her code of honor and entered Robin's mind via telepathy. Now before Raven, there stood a door. There wasn't anything particularly special about its appearance – it resembled the countless others before it down from the coloring to the paneling and even the doorknob itself. However when Raven went to open said door, it refused to open. Raven raised an eyebrow at this and struggled with the knob..._

'_Interesting. Out of all the doors I've tried so far, only this one has managed to keep itself shut tight. What could possibly be hiding in here?'_

"_I don't think you should open that door," said the voice of Timidity, who was most uncomfortable with their being inside of Robin's thoughts. "Take it as a sign that you're not meant to see what's inside._

'_But what's inside of here may just be the answer to all this madness. I'm getting this door open if it's the last thing I…'_

_Raven's thoughts trailed off as the door hesitantly came open, and she stared inside at something that clearly rocked her world. Her jaw dropped and her eyes grew large as she saw Robin and Starfire sitting on top of Titans' Tower. The air was warm and the sun peaked over the horizon –hinting that it must have been early daybreak and around the summertime. Raven pursed her lips - for the memory of that day was very clear to her. _

'_This was around the time we had joined together as a team and when Blackfire came to Earth…' thought Raven. 'I know that at the time I wasn't all that crazy about Star, but I still can't believe that her own sister tried to sell her out…'_

**How many times have you told me - you love her?**

"_I am…sad for my sister," said Starfire sadly, her unusually somber eyes staring out across the bay._

"_And for yourself?" asked Robin._

"_I am just glad that the truth was discovered before I was replaced."_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_Well, you…everyone was having such fun with her, and then Cyborg said…"_

"_Look. Your sister was interesting, but she could never take your place. __**No one**__ could ever take your place…"_

_Starfire's signature smile quickly returned, and it practically lit up the sky and everything else around her. Raven swallowed deeply as the two Titans soon faded from Raven's view... _

**As many times as I wanted to tell you the truth**

To say that Raven was devastated by this revelation would've been the understatement of the century – nay the _millennium_. She had always suspected even from Day One that the bond between Robin and Starfire was much more than one would share with 'just a friend', and there were numerous events that concreted this: from the infamous 'first kiss' they shared to the time when Starfire ran away from home due to her hormonal changes, and even the time when Starfire was summoned to Tamaran to wed her betrothed. Despite all of this however, Raven still held onto the hope that somehow there was still some chance that Robin felt the same way about her that she felt for him. After all, he _was_ the very first Titan to make an effort to befriend her. He _was_ the only Titan to really understand her. And when they established that mental bond, he _had_ to have known just how much she cared for him – how much he really meant to her...right?

_Raven continued to stare as another one of Robin's repressed memories came into view. This time however Raven watched as Robin on his motorcycle pulled up to a __docked cruise ship crowded with high school students in their best finery. Shimmering white lights adorned both the rigging and the cabin and above the gangplank was a banner that read "Junior Prom—Your Date With Destiny." As was to be expected on such a night, all of the students present were having the time of their lives. The least however could be said about the Boy Wonder. Earlier that evening, Robin was coerced into a date with Kitten, the daughter to the nefarious Killer Moth, and unless he complied with their demands, the Titans stood the risk of having Killer Moth's ravenous and mutated moths ransacking the city. As Raven watched Robin dismount his bike and take off his helmet, she couldn't help but smile – since she never got to see him in anything aside from his uniform and Robin looked most handsome in a tuxedo. However the sour look he sported almost ruined the Kodiak moment…_

"_Really hoping she doesn't show," murmured Robin. Just then __a lavender-gloved hand tapped his shoulder, instantly putting him in an even deeper foul mood. However Robin's eyes suddenly grew large as he got a good look of the person behind him. There stood Starfire, and for an alien still learning the ways of Earthly living, she certainly got Formalwear 101 down packed. She wore a gorgeous full-length lavender gown that accented her lovely slender figure and under the light of the moon, Starfire positively outshone every other girl present._

"_Starfire?" asked a dumbfounded Robin, though Raven could also clearly sense a wave of admiration and meekness exceeding from him – a feeling she often got when she was around Robin himself. Raven definitely didn't like where this was going…_

"_On such occasions, I believe it is customary to wear a dead plant," smiled Starfire, and with that pinned the carnation that she held to his lapel. Robin continued to stare at her dreamily._

"_Star…"_

_Robin paused briefly and then went on to inquire why Starfire chose to come to the prom instead of helping the other Titans locate Killer Moth, and even though he was speaking, Raven was able to clearly hear the next three words that ran through his mind…_

'_You're absolutely breathtaking…'_

**How long have I stood here - beside you?  
**

Raven huffed in frustration and pounded her fists into her bed. At that same moment, something from on top of one of her bookcases fell over and shattered. Ignoring the mess she had just created, Raven moaned and rolled over onto her stomach. She then buried her face into her mattress (since she knew it would muffle the sound), and like a floodgate opening for the first time in years, Raven broke down and wept bitterly. Numerous things inside of the room took to the air, but this went unnoticed by the depressed mage, her body now racked with a pain she had never experienced before.

"Raven, calm down!" cried the voice of Intelligence. "I understand that you're upset – I can see the effects of it in here. Happiness is sitting around like a ghost and Affection has been crying hysterically for the past three hours…"

"Leave me alone…" gasped Raven in-between sobs. "Just…leave me…alone…"

"Raven… It's ok to be upset – after all you do need to be in touch with all of your emotions. However you also still need to be able to be in control at all times. If you're making this much noise, the others are bound to…"

There was a knock on the door, and Raven's head shot up from the bed. Everything that was airborne quickly fell to the floor in a thunderous clap.

"Raven?"

Raven gasped, for the voice belonged to the last Titan she wanted to speak to at that given moment. She then wiped her face from the tears that had fallen and quickly summoned her powers to pull her hood over her face.

"Can I help you?" she called out, somehow managing to convey that she was not upset.

"I heard a lot of things being thrown around. I just wanted to be sure that you were okay."

Raven wrinkled her nose since she wasn't certain what to make of the speaker's words. "I was researching on just how Slade was able to trigger that chemical reagent hidden in his mask if he's supposedly dead. A spell I performed simply backfired."

"Oh…"

An uncomfortable silence widened the gap in-between the two, and the Titan on the other side of the door eventually found the will to speak once more.

**I lived through you: you looked through me…**

"Still, I'm glad you're okay. I feel that I don't say this enough, but you're a good person, Raven – respectful, honest and loyal. You're like the little sister I never had. You've always been there for me and the team. And, even though I normally would have been upset by what happened tonight, I know you did it because you had my best interests in mind. So thanks…"

"No…problem," replied Raven, her voice slightly wavering. "And everything that I saw…will remain between the two of us."

Raven sensed a dip in Robin's mood, almost as if he himself sensed that something was wrong with her. However if he did, he never conveyed that knowledge. "Well okay then," he continued. "Uh, if you need any help with the research, just let me know. You know where to find me."

"Sure thing. Now go get some rest. You've had a rough night."

"Will do. Goodnight, Raven. See you in the morning."

"'Night, Robin…"

**Ooh, solitude  
Still with me is only you  
Ooh, solitude  
I can't stay away from you **

Raven waited until she was certain Robin had left to go back to his room. She then turned to the heap of books, scrolls and other items now piled onto the floor.

'_Well, I don't want to lie. Might as well do some research into the matter and clean up this mess. Anything's better than just sitting here letting things eat me away.'_

Raven floated over to the pile of belongings, and little by little she sorted, browsed and then filed away everything into its rightful place. However towards the end of her 'clean sweep', Raven noticed a book that she didn't even realize that she had within her collection. Picking up the ancient text, Raven was entranced by its appearance since it was masterfully bounded in ivory leather and accented by silver markings.

"The Chronicles of Nol?" questioned Raven as she read the title. "What the heck is this?"

"Seems like a collection of stories from medieval times," said Intelligence as Raven thumbed through its pages. "Nol was a kingdom in what is now known as Great Britain. And the stories here seemed to revolve around a young man named Malchior who started off as a lonely outcast, but would later go on to lead his people out of a dark age."

"Sounds…interesting…" said Raven.

* * *

Weeks went by, and Raven for the most part remained cooped up in her room. Part of her was trying her best to keep as far away from Robin and Starfire as possible (since it had become most awkward to be around either one of them), but another part of Raven was just so captivated by the book she had discovered. Perhaps it was due to the nature of it, and that the terms of magic and references of prophecy were familiar to her. Or, perhaps Raven herself was able to easily relate to the plights that the main character faced. Whatever the reason, Raven at that time willingly and happily choose to indulge herself with this epic and exciting tale of fantasy. There was however at least one person who was not pleased by her change of behavior – or priorities for that matter…

"Honestly, Raven," said Intelligence sternly. "If you're going to read something, at least pick up a book that may hold the key to Trigon's defeat. It's been weeks since you've last done some actual research, and you yourself said that you think that somehow it was Trigon who triggered the chemical reagent in Slade's mask. Therefore, you should strike while the iron's hot!"

"Oh pish-posh!" exclaimed Happiness, interrupting before Raven could have her say. "All work and no play makes Rae-Rae a dull girl. Besides, those pictures of the brave wizard are absolutely dreamy! I can't get enough of him." Happiness then began to giggle while Raven rolled her eyes at the bubbly emotion's giddiness. At the same time though, Raven actually had to agree with her viewpoint. Besides she also had actually missed her joyous counterpart's being in a sound state of mind and she was in no mood to play the role of a spoilsport.

At least for this time anyway…

_'Yeah, what she said,'_ quipped Raven. Intelligence sighed exasperatedly. "Very well. Waste your valuable time on childish fairy tales. But don't come crying to me when Trigon returns and you're lamenting on why you weren't able to stop him."

She then disappeared back into the depths of Raven's mind as Sloth slowly reappeared in her place. "What's got the prude's knickers in a bunch?" she yawned and lazily leaned up against Happiness who apparently had no problem with her personal space being invaded.

"She's just annoyed that Raven would rather read something aside from those smelly old textbooks," she smiled.

"S'bout time someone told that librarian to buzz off and that you guys started listening to me," smirked Sloth. "All that work and studying all the time just ain't healthy."

Just then someone knocked on Raven's door."Typical," droned Sloth. "The second _I_ want to do something, there's an interruption. That really grinds my gears."

"Yo, Raven!" came the playful cry of Cyborg.

'_Tell me about it,'_ thought Raven. _'And it's been happening all too often today…'_

"Dude, open up!" called Beast Boy.

'_God, is everyone in creation out to bother me today? First it was that freak Kardiac, then it was Robin, then Starfire…What is it now?!'_

With her hair standing on end from sheer annoyance, Raven swiftly flew over to the door and opened it, her frightful gaze causing the boys to jump back in fear. A moment later however, grins were plastered on their faces and their hands were hidden behind their backs.

"What?" snapped Raven.

"We're here tonight with an exclusive offer," said Beast Boy.

"A once-in-a-lifetime chance to get in on America's fastest-growing sports sensation…" said Cyborg.

"The hot new game we just made up…"

At this, Cyborg pulled out a large wad of extremely putrid laundry. "STANKBALL!!" the two boys cried out. Beast Boy then took out a cloak in Raven's style but was marked with black and white stripes.

"Want to be referee?"

**How many times have I done this - to myself?  
How long will it take before I see? **

Raven glared at them, simply floored by the fact that the two had both the guts and the stupidity to call her out of her room for something like this. "Go…away…" she said in a tone that would have frightened even the Devil himself. She then backed into her room and quickly started closing the door, but Beast Boy and Cyborg wedged themselves in to keep her from closing it any further.

"But, _pleeeease?_" whined Beast Boy.

"Everybody loves a good game of stankball," said Cyborg.

"And we need a referee to play the lightning round."

"No!" screamed Raven and with a small bit of crackling black energy, she shoved the door completely closed and forced the two intruders out. Raven next heard Beast Boy and Cyborg getting up from the floor.

**When will this hole in my heart - be mended?  
Who now is left alone but me?**

"Oh, Raven, come on!" fussed Beast Boy. "Why can't you just have fun like _normal _people?"

Something like a stab struck Raven's heart upon hearing this, and she clutched the book to her chest. "Why are you always locked in your dark room, reading your nasty old books?" he went on. "Why do you have to be so _creepy_?"

Raven gripped the book even tighter and she did her best not to cry. It was rather audacious on Beast Boy's part to talk about 'being normal', but a lot of what he said also hit close to home. She also would not give him the satisfaction of hearing that his words actually caused her to break down. Raven cried for a boy once, and she would do all in her power to never let it happened again.

"Forget it, B," said Cyborg, realizing that Raven's silence coupled with Beast Boy's comments was a recipe for disaster. "Leave her alone." She then heard the two walk off and down the hall to whence they came.

"I'm not creepy," Raven whispered softly. "I'm just different."

**Ooh, solitude  
Forever me and forever you  
Ooh, solitude  
Only you, only true  
****Everyone leaves me stranded  
Forgotten, abandoned, left behind  
I can't stay here another night**

Raven walked over to her bed and went to sit down – the precious book still in her clutches and the light of the full moon shining in on her from outside her window. She was just so sore and so defeated by everything. Here it was that Raven was surrounded by friends and yet she still felt completely isolated from everyone. And even when they tried to include her in their dealings or simply have a conversation with her, instead of reaching out towards them, Raven often would retaliate coldly or harshly. She was a living paradox really…

**Your secret admirer  
Who could it be?**

'_I never asked to be born this way. I know I don't always show it, but I really do enjoy my friends' company, and I really do want to know what it's like to be loved – to honestly be loved for being…just me. But it's so hard having powers and family lineage such as mine and still being able to be this likeable person that someone can relate to. To being this likeable person that __anyone__ would want to relate to…'_

**Ooh… Can't you see all along it was me?  
How can you be so blind as to see right through me?**

'_Perhaps that is the true reason why Robin could never find it in his heart to love me…to love me more than a sister anyway. How could he anyway? He may be similar to me personality-wise, but given his past, he would want to share his life with someone more positive and hyper and…attractive… than me. Still though, how could he __not __see from the little things that I did for him and the little things that I said to him– how could he not even entertain the thought of possibly seeing me as more than a friend? Am I really that horrible of a person?'_

"That's just the thing," chuckled Rage. "You're not exactly 100 percent human."

'_Neither is Starfire! What does that say about me?!'_

"…I think you already know the answer to that," she laughed cruelly.

**Ooh, solitude  
Still with me is only you  
****Ooh, solitude  
I can't stay away from you**

Raven groaned in frustration, still gripping the book closely to her and her fingers lightly grazed the cover. She then thought back to an earlier picture she'd seen of Malchior. He was rather charming from what she could make out from the drawing: light blue eyes, a face covered from the nose down by a wide and long black scarf, long flowing hair that was so platinum blond that it appeared white, and a perfectly fit body protected by a suit of silver and black armor emblazoned with a black 'M'.

'_If only you weren't fiction, Malchior. Only you would understand how I feel. You are the perfect blend of darkness, mystery, and wisdom, and yet you're also very charming, courageous and romantic. And little does everyone else know…I could be that way too…'_

**Ooh, solitude  
Forever me and forever you  
Ooh, solitude  
Only you, only true…**

Raven then sighed sadly."I just wish there were someone around here who understood that. Someone I could talk to. Someone more like me..."

"There is," said a suave British male voice from below her. Raven's eyes popped open and she stared down at the source of the voice: the _Chronicles of Nol_ book. Without a moment's hesitation, Raven gasped out of fright and tossed it away from her, watching as it landed a short distance away from her on the floor.

'_What in the name of Azar just happened?'_


	23. Chapter 23: Good Enough

**2370 hits. And by the way, this is a pretty long chapter…**

_

* * *

___

CHAPTER 23

Raven blinked twice. There, lying on the floor not far from her was a book, and it was not just any book but an ancient book from medieval times…

An ancient book whose pages were filled with great wisdom and wonder…

An ancient book that could…_talk_?

"Ow," said the mystery book. Raven meanwhile could only stare at it in disbelief.

"Uh, did you just…"

"…Speak?"

"Uh-huh."

"I did… and then you dropped me on my spine."

"Oh…sorry," said Raven, no doubt wondering if she was losing her mind or if she was actually conversing with what was supposed to be an inanimate object. "Books aren't supposed to talk," she said, kneeling down beside it - er _him_.

"True, fair maiden, but I am no book." With that, the book opened itself and began to rapidly flip its pages. It soon stopped on one page whose bottom half had been torn out and resting on the upper half of the page was the same set of hypnotic-like eyes seen in an earlier drawing of Malchior.

"I am a man," proclaimed the book proudly. "Malchior of Nol…at your service."

"The wizard who faced the dread dragon Rorek?" said Raven in surprise.

"The wizard who _defeated_ Rorek…and who was trapped within these pages by the dragon's final curse."

Raven blinked once again. _'So, these stories actually happened? But then that would mean…'_

"Trapped?" voiced Raven aloud. "But that battle was almost…"

"One thousand years ago. And I've been waiting for someone to find me ever since."

At that, Malchior began to turn his pages once again, and he stopped when he reached a page that depicted Raven. In the picture, she was shown with her hands glowing, and in the background was a glistening sky with a moon, stars and ravens that flew all around her. But what was most interesting about the picture was that the usually somber mage was shown smiling lightly and (at least according to Raven), she actually looked attractive for once.

"Raven…" called Malchior, snapping Raven out of her trance. "…I've been waiting for you."

Raven blushed upon hearing this. _'Someone as remarkable as him was waiting for someone…like __me__?' _She then summoned her powers and extended a darkened hand towards the book. However before she could attempt to do anything, a blinding flash of light shot out from the book and towards the ceiling.

"The curse is strong," said Raven apologetically as she pulled her hand away. "I'm sorry. I don't think my power can break it."

"I know," said Malchior understandingly. "But perhaps we could just talk?"

Raven's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Well, I don't see why not. Being closed up in a dusty old tome with no one else to talk to for over a millennium has been quite lonesome."

"I would imagine so."

"Yes. I suppose I should start with the tale in what led up to me getting trapped in here in the first place. You must be curious to know…"

"Would you? I never got to read up to that part."

"It would be my pleasure… Well then, as you already know, I was clearly at the end of my rope. Rorek had me trapped in his clutches, and it looked as if there was no hope for me at all. Then, just as he was closing in for the kill, I recalled a spell once used before that succeeded in felling such a monster. Instantly and with the beckoning of my hand, I summoned a book…this very book, and I called upon its ancient magic to both protect and assist me in Rorek's defeat. My plea was heard, and the raging inferno that was dealt for me evaporated. The cosmic power of the book continued to grow, and ever so slowly it began to overcome Rorek. Eventually and with a mighty blast, the foul dragon was mortally wounded. Alas and nevertheless, just before he expired, Rorek, in a vain last attempt to do me in, cast one final spell…the one that I would soon learn that would confine me not only into this purgatory of a book, but also for all time. I was never to see the light of day again. I didn't even get to see my dear old mother again, or whisper to her one last goodbye. She probably died all alone back in Nol eons ago never knowing just whatever became of me..."

Raven looked down at the floor. _'That sounds so much like what happened the last time I saw my own mother, and that was only two years ago. How much more would it hurt if I had to go for a thousand years without seeing her?'_

Malchior glanced over at Raven's saddened face and promptly cleared his 'throat'. "Well then," he said. "Enough about me. It's now your turn to tell me a little about yourself. It's obvious that like me you practice magic, Raven, and it's clear that you have a great reservoir of power and knowledge. However what I do _not _know is…what exactly is it that makes you well…you?"

Raven smiled lightly. "Well first, I'm going to do something that I should have done from the beginning…" she said as she walked over to pick him up. "…And set you somewhere else. No guest of mine is going to lie on the cold floor."

"How very kind of you…" said Malchior. Raven then took Malchior and went to set him upon a bookstand not far from her bed. "Well…" replied Raven, taking a seat upon her bed. "There isn't that much to go on about me. Similar to you, I too lost my mother…and the only place that I could ever call home a few years ago. And even before that, I wasn't exactly welcomed amongst my people with open arms…"

"I know the feeling. My father had a rather…seedy reputation, and because of this, my mother and I were treated very poorly…like we were untouchable and unworthy."

"…You too?"

"I'm afraid so. But the way I look at it, it was their lost, really. Had my fellowmen spent more time getting to know me for _me_ - as opposed to obsessing over whom I shared blood ties with - we could have become great friends. And as for my father, why, had he been a more 'likable' chap, perhaps we too could have had a stronger bond…and perhaps he could have learned of all of the great things I was able to accomplish despite the upbringing that I had."

"Yeah, me too. Funny, huh?"

"It's downright hysterical."

Raven chuckled lightly. "Anyway, after I lost my home, I came to live here in Jump City. Here, I met four other people my own age and who also have 'special talents' of their own – so to speak. Together we formed a team that is devoted to fighting crime not just locally, but nationally and in some cases internationally too."

"And for that, you and your acquaintances are to be commended on. It's not easy to walk the path of righteousness and truth when so many around you choose to do otherwise. It's even harder to follow such a course when you're young and have no parents to help guide the way."

"Yes, but it's not so bad either. There's one teammate of mine called Starfire. She's my polar opposite in almost everyway, but we're still friends, and I can tolerate her enough to live under the same roof with her. Then there's Robin, our leader and Cyborg, who is like a big brother to me. And lastly, there's Beast Boy…"

"'_Beast Boy'?_ Now there's an interesting name…"

"Yeah, though I don't know if 'interesting' is the choice word to describe him," said Raven sourly. "I think that of all the Titans he's the person I least get along with. He's immature, sloppy, rowdy, a bit egotistic..."

"I'm picking up a sense of animosity between the two of you…"

Raven bit her lip. "I wouldn't go as far to call it animosity, but it's clear that we definitely don't understand each other. In fact, I don't think that _anyone_ here really understands me. Starfire is always so cheerful and feminine, and Robin tends to blow hot and cold: reclusive and belligerent one moment, and prying and peaceable the next…"

"In other words, simply too confusing to decipher…"

"…Exactly. Then there's Cyborg and Beast Boy…the resident pranksters. Cyborg's actually not so bad by himself, but whenever Beast Boy joins the fray, they can be quite unbearable. In fact, right before we met, those two interrupted my reading because they wanted to play a game of stankball."

"What the deuce is stankball?"

"Another one of Beast Boy's hare-brained ideas, no doubt. They hurl a massive pile of rather… _soiled _garments at each other…for fun."

Malchior grew silent, obviously baffled by what Raven had just told him. "Stankball? You're joking."

"They wanted me to referee."

"Smashing. You must be the luckiest girl in the world, and this Beast Boy sounds like an absolute _genius_."

"That's funny," laughed Raven. "You're funny."

"And you're the best thing that's happened to me in a thousand years…"

"Then…you don't think I'm…creepy?"

"Certainly not. You are dark, and darkness is often misunderstood. But I feel like I understand you."

Raven smiled warmly. "I feel that way too." She then let out a soft yawn.

"It's late," said Malchior. "You should sleep."

"…Do you promise you'll still be here when I wake up?"

In answer to that, Malchior formed a preceding page into the shape ofa rose.

"I promise," he replied as he extended it towards her. Raven smiled and got up to close the book, being extra careful to leave the origami rose protruding out from its upper edge. As Raven returned to her bed and went to rest her head, she was in a state of true bliss. Meanwhile inside of Raven's head, her multifaceted mind was all abuzz over this latest change of events. Inside of Quiescence, the purple-cloaked emotion known as Affection was floating around aimlessly and swooning. "Now_ that_…is a man," she gushed, clapping her hands around her face. "I don't know _what _it was I ever saw in Robin."

Not far behind her, Happiness was beside herself with joy – so much so that she was racing around doing cartwheels and giggling incessantly. Timidity stood off to the side and looked on at the spectacle with a light smile, while the other emotions looked on with a mixture of indifference, contentment…and concern…

"This is so…_Lifetime-ish…" _moaned Sloth in disgust.

"That's not even a real word," replied Neurotic, picking the 'invisible' lint from off her cloak and leotard.

"Trust me," retorted Rage, who was rather bothered with the overwhelming display of cheerfulness. One could probably say that she was seeing red because of it. "Pigpen over there hit the nail over the head with that one…"

"Don't hate just because you're the least accepted one here, Red," smirked Bravery. "Raven has just as much right as anyone else in the world to be happy. Go crawl back under the rock you came from until someone actually needs you."

Rage cut her eyes at her green counterpart. She then looked towards Intelligence in expectance for her to take up her usual role as the voice of reason. However Rage was most shocked when she realized that the normally level-headed emotion sported a rather distant and wistful look on her face...

"Hey Four-Eyes! Wake up!" Intelligence however just sighed blissfully.

"Hey! I know you hear me over there! Be a wet blanket like you usually are and tell these boneheads that they're just allowing some pretty face and a bunch of smooth words to…"

"Isn't it amazing that there is someone out there that is in all aspects of the word – our soul mate?"

Rage and the other emotions just looked at Intelligence. "Not good," said Neurotic while biting her nails. "Not good at all."

"Don't be so pessimistic, Neurotic," beamed Happiness as she barreled past them. "If something good has finally come our way, then just go with the flow!"

"That's just it, Happy. This is almost too good to be true: Malchior's timing, his past 'coincidentally' relating with ours, his alleged attraction to us... Something's not right. And look at the way Affection and Intelligence are acting! Raven has had a thing for Robin for so long and then for her to just give all that up in a matter of minutes over someone she hardly knows?"

"Well it's not like she _should _keep chasing after Robin when he clearly likes someone else," said Sloth. "Any idiot would have the sense to see that it just wouldn't work."

"And speaking of sense – look at Intelligence! Do you know what kind of trouble we're going to be in if our sole monitor of order and rational thinking is so distracted?"

"Once again, just leave it be," said Sloth jadedly, reclining into a lotus position and closing her eyes. "That bookworm was long overdue for resting that big head and that big mouth of hers. Goodness knows I'll sleep better with her being…'preoccupied' with other matters."

Rage growled and disappeared from view in a huff and Neurotic looked on at the others worriedly. Sloth sighed contently and disappeared from view as well while Bravery shrugged her shoulders.

"I know it's in your nature to worry," she said as she started to walk away. She then glanced over her shoulder. "But can you at least try to be happy for once?"

Bravery then resumed her walk and little by little she too disappeared from view, leaving Neurotic to tend with the four remaining and smitten emotions. As Happiness floated by with Affection by her side, Neurotic looked down at her feet and sighed deeply.

* * *

The following day started off warm and wonderful for Raven. From the moment she had awoken she was absolutely all aglow and after quietly and quickly tending to her daily needs, Raven spent most of the morning chatting with Malchior. In fact she became so swept away in their conversation that she didn't even notice that it was the day was almost half over…

"So then, you will help me?" inquired Malchior, still positioned upon Raven's bookstand. Raven meanwhile was busy floating about her room and sorting through several of her storage bins and trunks.

"Oh course," she answered and took out two flasks filled with unknown liquids. "If there's anything that I can do for you I'll do it."

Just then there was a knock on the door, and Raven and Malchior simultaneously raised an eyebrow in question.

"Hey, Raven…" called Beast Boy's voice from the opposite side.

Malchior simply groaned. "Heavens above. What could _he _possibly want?"

"…Um, it's like almost noon and you haven't come out of your room," continued Beast Boy. "So, just in case you're mad, I'm gonna go ahead and say…sorry I called you creepy last night."

Raven stood in silence and her eyes quickly fell to the floor while Malchior glanced over at her. "You never told me that he said _that _to you - though at the same time I'm not entirely surprised given what I know about him."

"It's not something I really wanted to dwell on."

"Raven?" called Beast Boy once more and Raven sharply turned away from the door. "Don't let the little imp get to you," said Malchior. "Think of him as …an annoying little brother. He'll taunt you and harass you all the time, but if you learn to ignore him, he'll grow bored and leave you be. Perhaps if _we're_ quiet, he'll just go away."

Raven laughed softly at Malchior's analogy and drifted towards the door. The man certainly had a way with words...

"Um, Raven, is everything…"

At that, Raven cracked opened her door and shot Beast Boy her trademark glare. The changeling – who apparently was trying to listen through the door – stepped back a little upon seeing her.

"Hi. Um, you were…laughing, and I thought I heard…" Beast Boy then tried to peek around Raven's form and into her room.

"Is there someone in there?"

"Just me…and a really good book."

"Oh. Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Better than okay. _Way_ better." Raven then closed the door and made her way back over towards Malchior.

"Sorry, Malchior. He won't bother us again. Shall we?"

"By all means. Is everything ready?"

Raven looked around the room. Positioned in a circle around the bookstand was several chalices and lighted candles and lying on the floor across from the bookstand was a small bowl and numerous flasks and beakers that Raven had gathered.

"Yes," she answered simply and glided over towards the ingredients laid before them.

"Then let us begin. Pour into your scrying bowl about a cup's worth of saltpetre and add the petals from a pink calla. Follow this by two tablespoons of chamomile oil, the sprinkling of black poppy seed, a cup's worth of salt from the Dead Sea and a tablespoon of vanilla essence. Once the mixture has been completed, proceed to dispense it upon my being…and you shall at last free me from my prison..."

Raven nodded demurely though deep inside of her her heart and mind was racing. _'Dear Azar, please let this spell work…for his sake…' _She then set off to mixing the spell ingredients as ditated to her. Reaching over to her left she slowly and steadily shook out a whitish powder from one flask into the bowl until it was nearly full. When she was finished with that, she set the flask aside and scooped up a handful of pinkish flower petals from her right and dropped them into the bowl. Sparks immediately began to dance in the cup and small traces of the saltpetre floated into the air. Partaking of a secondary flask, Raven then began to pour its contents – a glowing bluish liquid – into the bowl and with her free hand sprinkled in a pinch of a dark grainy-like substance. After another brillant flash of light, Raven rummaged around for the next ingredient.

"I've never even heard of this spell," said Raven as she poured the Dead Sea salt into the bowl and wisps of smoke boiled up. "Where did you learn it?"

"It's in the Galleon Scrolls."

"You've read the Galleon Scrolls?" said Raven, who was noticeably impressed.

"And the Mornal Archives, and the Stones of Syr. I've been trapped in a book. Not much to do but read."

"I think it's almost ready," said Raven as she poured a white and sweet-smelling oil into the bowl.

"Good. There's just one more ingredient..." Suddenly, Malchior pulled back one of his pages and caused it to lash out towards Raven. Before she even knew what was happening, several strands of Raven's violet locks floated down into the bowl and she caressed the newly trimmed tress of hair that hung over her cheek.

"…A lock of hair from a beautiful girl."

"…_Beautiful?"_

"I truly appreciate all that you are doing for me, Raven."

Raven's heart started to palpitate but she willed herself to relax."I might not know how to break the curse, but at least I can get you out of that book." She then poured the mixture into her hand and gently blew it towards Malchior. As the blend of powders and oil came into contact with him, the magic that once bounded him came loose and all of Malchior's pages went flying into the air. Raven stood up slowly and looked around in wonder as the tempest of loose pages swarmed around her and the bookstand.

'_This is it. I certainly hope this works.'_

Raven continued to watch with wide eyes as a pair of feet assembled from some of the whirling papers and little by little, a human male body began to form as well. When the whirlwind finally died down, standing before Raven was Malchior, and because of her, he, at last, had found some sort of freedom for the first time in over a millennium…

**Under your spell again  
I can't say no to you  
****Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand  
I can't say no to you**

"Thank you," he said kindly. "You're welcome," said Raven, who was absolutely in a state of bliss. Malchior then began to walk towards her and extended a hand. Raven eagerly followed suit, but before their fingers could even meet, Malchior's hand started to fall apart into a pile of paper clippings. Raven gasped upon seeing this while Malchior nonchalantly looked down at what remained of his hand.

"Silly me," he said calmly. "Of course - I remain bound to the book." Malchior then stepped back towards the book that once imprisoned him and sure enough his hand started to reform.

"Because the curse is still in effect…" concluded Raven.

"Indeed. If I am ever to be truly free, well, it would require magics of much greater power."

"Then teach me the spells," said Raven, a bit of desperation seeping into her voice. "I want to help you. I want to learn."

If he actually had a mouth, Malchior would have likely smiled from Raven's enthusiasm, and he graciously placed a comforting arm around her shoulder. "To break this curse, I must teach you more than just a few simple spells."

He then extended his free hand and it began to crackle with magical energy.

"I must teach you everything I know."

A burst of light shot forth from that hand and in an instant several towering stacks of tomes and books appeared in front of them. Raven looked on in surprise as several hundred of the books opened and began to float about around them.

"The Book of Nord…" gestured Malchior. "The Endreal Verses…The Romanomicon…The Bursean Chronicle. More than six thousand pages of spells, charms, and incantations."

"That's a lot of reading," said Raven. She then glanced up and into his eyes. "But it'll be worth it all in the end."

**Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly  
Now I can't let go of this dream  
I can't breathe, but I feel…**

Malchior then glanced down past Raven's face and towards something else. "I say," he laughed. "Are you some sort of a chameleon?"

Raven looked down and much to her surprise both her cloak and leotard were of a lavender color. She then blushed slightly.

"My powers and emotions are closely tied together. Normally I don't express the way I fee,l and thusly I appear composed but also apathetic – hence the black leotard and blue cloak. But on some rare occasions my true frame of mind comes out in my appearance: red for instance would represent anger, while white shows that I'm calm and contented."

"So what does lavender represent?"

Raven blushed again. "It…means that…I'm in…"

Malchior chuckled softly. "I think I understand, and for what it's worth, I care about you too. I appreciate you …and I cherish you. Never in all my life have I met such a young woman that understands and accepts me for who I am. People like you are very rare Raven, but you needn't feel that just because you aredifferent that you can never feel good enough to be loved…because you _are _loved…

**Good enough  
****I feel good enough  
****For you…**

An entire week went by in what seemed to be a flash, and every day and night Raven and Malchior thoroughly researched and practiced spell after spell and incantation and incantation, all in the hopes that Raven would soon be mentally and physically ready to perform the arduous spell that would finally change Malchior into a fleshly man. Then one day, at about early afternoon, Malchior glanced over at Raven - who was meditating - and struck up yet another conversation…

"I say, dear Raven. When was the last time you've taken some time out for yourself?"

"Excluding right now?" said Raven, opening one eye to take a look at him. "About a week maybe…give or take…"

"Precisely my point," he stated, picking up one of the many books in the room. "I love being around you, but you've also been cooped up in here with me for almost 24/7…and I feel a tad guilty for it."

"Oh please, don't…"

"Really I do. I may still be made of paper, but you're of flesh and blood and you have needs to attend to. You should go out and stretch your legs some or breathe in some fresh air. Go out and revitalize yourself however you see fit, and take all the time you need…because I'll be right here when you get back."

"…If you insist," smiled Raven. She promptly broke her meditation stance and glided over towards her bedroom door. "I'll see you soon."

As she slowly made her way towards the common area of the Tower, Raven could not get over just how great things seemed to be going for her. She had made excellent progress in her studies and was very close to being able to free her beloved from the inflicted state in which he was in. More importantly for the first time since her exile from Azarath, Raven had succeeded in meeting someone who not only had interests that were similar to hers, but who also had experienced and wanted some of the same things she did. Granted she had been spending a large amount of time with Malchior, and she only met him a little over a week ago, but at the same time, it...just felt so right, and once Malchior was finally freed, the two of them would set out to live their lives as they had always dreamed. What's more is that with the seemingly endless amount of knowledge Malchior had access to, Raven also reasoned that he would be a great resource and perhaps maybe even a powerful partner in her battle against Trigon.

**Drink up sweet decadence  
I can't say no to you  
And I've completely lost myself and I don't mind  
I can't say no to you**

Yes in her mind, things finally seemed to be playing in Raven's favor and as the doors to the common area slid open, Raven spread open her arms and her entire attire changed from lavender to white. Meanwhile and inside of the common area, everyone was at a loss for words: Beast Boy and Cyborg looked away from the video game that they were playing and Robin and Starfire stood in the kitchen area as if they were a pair of mannequins. Their befuddled reactions did nothing to faze Raven however – in fact she really didn't care what they thought. All that matter right then and there was that she was happy and she wanted _everyone_ to know of it. Sighing blissfully (and nodding politely to greet them all), Raven then floated into the kitchen while humming the entire time. She opened the mini-refrigerator and took out a bright red apple to snack on.

"Um…hey, Raven," said Robin hesitantly as Raven happily munched away. "Haven't seen you around much lately."

"Yeah, 'cause she hasn't left her room for a week," said Beast Boy.

Cyborg promptly bopped him over the head for his lack of tact and smiled. "I, uh…like your new look."

"Thanks," smiled Raven.

"So, when do we get to meet this friend of yours?" asked Robin.

"…Soon," answered Raven, though in the back of her mind she wondered how the others even knew about 'this friend of hers'.

"I am unable to wait!" exclaimed Starfire, and in all her excitement she flew over and started shaking Raven's shoulders. "Beast Boy has told us much about the Malchior and how he remains trapped within a book, but…"

"Now how would Beast Boy know something like _that?"_

Everyone's attention fell on Beast Boy who was now sitting on the counter, and he laughed nervously.

"I may have kind of…been, ah…a fly on the wall in your room?"

As a little joke to himself, Beast Boy morphed into a fly and began to buzz around the room. With a devilish smirk, Raven eyed the green and airborne snoop.

"Funny," she said. "You look more like a _rat_ to me." She then concentrated for a moment and much to the Titans' surprise, Beast Boy suddenly changed into a rat. As he fell to the floor and changed back into his human form, Beast Boy looked at her in shock from the involuntary change.

"You morphed me! How did you do that!?"

Before she could answer, a small alarm started going off and Robin rushed over to the small computer console seated on a nearby counter. After a quick analysis it was clear that it was not good news, and he turned to face the team.

"Titans! Move!"

**Shouldn't let you conquer me completely  
****Now I can't let go of this dream  
Can't believe that I feel good enough  
I feel good enough  
**

With the call to action proclaimed, the Teen Titans bolted for the door...that is to say all but one of them. Still in a state of bliss, Raven hovered in place and hummed cheerfully to herself. "Hey!" called Beast Boy, who was the last one out. "We gotta go!"

His words immediately jarred Raven out of her jovial mood and she glanced over her shoulder at him. "Right," she said softly, sounding like her old self for a moment. She then hurriedly followed Beast Boy and the others out.

'_No matter,'_ thought Raven. _'This probably won't take long anyway. I'll just head out with the others, do what we do best, and I'll be back with Malchior in no time. I can hardly wait…'_

**It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good**

But waiting is exactly what Raven ended up doing. That afternoon, call after call came in about reports of criminal activity on the rise in Jump City, and what originally was thought to take a half hour or an hour at most ended up stretching out into the very night. This of course did nothing to help Raven's mood, and to make matters worse while casting one of the new spells she'd learned, Raven temporarily lost control of her powers. It had occurred when the Titans were called to their last crime scene and Kardiac - a giant freakish mechanical heart whose common MO was to kidnap children - was attempting to steal a young girl right out of her very home. It didn't take long to disassemble Kardiac and the little girl was soon in the safety of the Titans, but Raven had not fared so well…

'_How dare he!' _thought Raven angrily as she swiftly flew back to Titans' Tower alone. The awkwardness of what had happened moments earlier spooked her enough to leave the others behind. _'How could he?! He knew good and well how much I oppose dark magic and yet it is the very thing he's being spoon-feeding me for days! I almost lost control, and if the others hadn't intervened, I would've killed that girl! Malchior sure has it in for him when I get home…'_

Upon reaching the Tower, Raven used her soul-self to phase in through the roof and down into the hall right outside of her room. She stopped for a moment as if to gather some composure, but then her thoughts shifted back to earlier that evening and the anger came flooding back. Raven immediately summoned her powers and forced opened the door, and inside, Malchior was casually glancing over some pages from the book that once imprisoned him.

**And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall  
Pour real life down on me**

"It's dark magic!" she fumed. "You've been teaching me dark magic!"

"Is it dark, or is it simply misunderstood…" responded Malchior in a very relaxed tone of voice. "…Like you?"

Raven was silent. He had her there, but she was still very upset. She then studied him as he slowly paced around her.

"True, the spells I've taught you are very powerful," he stated. "There are those who fear power, so they call it dark."

He then partook of her hand and the two moved over towards the book. "But for people like us…such distinctions do not exist. Without these spells, we can never truly be together. Enchanted pages or no, I'm still trapped within this book..."

**'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough  
Am I good enough  
****For you to love me too?**

"…And you're still alone. Is that what you want, Raven? To be alone?"

Raven's stern face melted into uncertainty and after a brief moment, she turned away and closed her eyes tightly – and the tears started to fall...

"No…" she answered, her voice quivering. Malchior reached over and wiped her tears away.

"My sweet Raven. It's time."

Raven glanced up at Malchior. Meanwhile her mind was hazy and unsure. Deep inside of Quiescence, all except for Rage were present and they looked on in anticipation for Raven's next move.

"I don't like where this is going," said Neurotic nervously. "Raven, don't do it!"

"You're kidding, right?" retorted Bravery.

"Are _you _kidding? I'm getting so many bad vibes from this man that it's not even funny. We leave him for one afternoon and now he's suddenly in such a hurry to become a man again?"

"Because he _wants_ to be with us!" said Affection who was holding hands with a restless Happiness. "Azar above, where's your head, Neurotic?!"

"Where is _anybody's _head these days?! The man has practically placed all of us in a trance by his smooth-talking, he blatantly taught us practices that we're against - and in turn almost caused the death of a civilian - and then he had the gall to go and make it sound as if we actually _like _the feeling of being all alone! How is that love?!"

"Since when are _you_ such an expert in this department?!"

"**QUIET!"**

Everyone stopped and turned to see Intelligence, who was rubbing her temples.

"Dear God, as if my head didn't hurt already…"

"Well, we stand at a crossroad of sorts," said Neurotic. "And since you've been…'indisposed' for most of the week, we've pretty much had to take matters into our own hands."

"So I've noticed..."

"Well, then…" said the meek voice of Timidity. "What do you suggest that we do, Intelligence?"

"I…I'm not quite sure…to be honest…I mean a strong part of me is saying that Neurotic may be right …but another part of me really wants to give Malchior the benefit of a doubt. I mean, I really do trust him, Neurotic. We _all _do, and if we refuse to help him now - especially considering how close we are to achieving this goal - we just might lose him forever..."

Neurotic's eyes widened and surprisingly glistened red for a second. Her nostrils also flared up and she exhaled deeply. Without saying another word, Neurotic hurriedly phased out from before them, leaving the others to ponder the next step. Moments later, Raven – whose eyes were still locked with her dear love's – swallowed deeply and finally spoke.

"…Show me what I have to do…"

**So take care what you ask of me **

"…I'll do _anything_ for you…"  
**  
'Cause I can't say no…**


	24. Chapter 24: Lithium

**3060 Hits. Please be advised that after this chapter, there are only 10 chapters left!! **

**Oh yeah…this past Thursday was also my B-day, so as a belated present to me, I want lots and lots of reviews, people! Just kidding…Simply knowing that you folks actually read my story is enough of a present for me.**

* * *

CHAPTER 24

"Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos… Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos…"

Deep within her dark, morose room, Raven, the Titans' Tower's resident sorceress, hovered several feet above her bed. She was back in her normal black and blue garb, and she was trying her best to meditate and gain some form of soundness of mind and body. After all, the events from last night were anything but calm and peaceful…

"Raven…" came the voice of Bravery. "I believe we need to have a group conference _immediately_."

"Bravery? What are you…w-where's Intelligence?"

"That's part of why you need to come pronto. Things are crazy up in here. Timidity absolutely refuses to let anyone near her, Happiness is down in the dumps, Affection has been crying hysterically for like the past 24 hours – nonstop, and Intelligence… It's just really, _really_ bad. Please, just hurry…."

Raven sighed deeply and gently lowered herself down onto the bed. After clasping her hands over her nose and mouth, she exhaled deeply and shook her head in disbelief. "I'll be right there," she answered glumly as her eyes fell on the familiar form of Malchior's book, which instead of resting on Raven's favored bookstand now laid forsaken on the floor and in the far corner of the room. Raven then closed her eyes and in an instant was flooded with memories of the previous night…

"_The incantation…just as I taught you."_

_Raven glanced over at Malchior, who stood several feet away from her and within a ring of open tomes on the floor. As she had promised, Raven agreed to do whatever it took as long as it resulted in Malchior's freedom from his immortal paper body and back into his fleshly mortal one. After the final preparations had been carried out, all that was left was to recite the incantation that would release him from the curse that plagued him. Raven then nodded, took a deep breath and leaned in to read over the pages of the book that once imprisoned Malchior._

'_Ok, Raven. This is it. Recite one more spell, and the one guy that fully understands you and wants to be with you will finally be in the flesh...' Raven then narrowed her eyes in concentration and she began to recite the final spell... _

"_Hezberek Et Morine. Gost Wenthen Verbis Nex. Ind Obrium Bis Pendrule. Paran Sic Cortis Rex!"_

_As Raven spoke, the books surrounding Malchior began to glow and upon finishing the last sentence, dark and thick waves of black energy shot up towards the ceiling and practically engulf the entire room. Raven watched in wonder as the blinding white light that poured from the books around Malchior slowly enveloped his body, effectively hiding him from view. His paper-like body also began to fly apart within the swirling vortex and Raven – who had glanced down at the book - gasped in shock. Before her laid a picture of Malchior's black silhouette and like magic, the drawing doubled over in pain as a white light similar to that which steadily filled the room engulfed him…and a pair of long wings sprouted from his back._

"_Malchior!"_

_Suddenly, without warning, Raven flew backwards as a surge of white light poured forth from the book. Still laid out on the floor, Raven reached over to one of the pages that had blown loose. On it was a scene depicting a wizard and a dragon facing off: the infamous final showdown between Malchior and Rorek. However as Raven continued to analyze it, the labels which named each character faded away and switched places: Malchior for Rorek…and Rorek for Malchior…_

"_You __changed__ it. Malchior wasn't the wizard…he was a…"_

_Raven whirled around towards the book, the bright white light still steadily increasing. In a flash, everything became so very clear to her and in a last-ditch effort, Raven lunged towards the book._

"_**NO!"**_

_But it was too late. Raven was thrown back from the blast and from within it, __a large, horned and red-eyed silhouette started morphing into the shape of a dragon. As she watched in horror, Malchior - the dread dragon – extended his purple forelegs from the tornado, his dark jagged claws carving into her bedroom floor. Eventually Malchior revealed his ugly head – literally – and as a token of thanks for all of her hard work and time spent, exhaled a scorching foehn of fire towards Raven. Raven cried out as she went crashing into her bed, and seconds later her bedroom door came crashing down as well – with Robin and the rest of the Teen Titans on the other side._

"_Raven!"_

_With a room-shaking tremor, Malchior promptly exited the room through the ceiling and caused a cascade of rubble and dust to rain down into the room. As the dust cleared, the Titans looked on to see a large black shield surrounding Raven. She soon dropped the protector since she was physically unharmed, but mentally…_

"_He lied to me," she said softly, not even bothering to turn around and face the others. "He __lied__. And I gave him what he wanted…"_

* * *

A short while later, Raven resurfaced inside of Quiescence, and waiting patiently in the center of the floating asteroid for her was Bravery and the seven other emotions. Raven however noted why Bravery seemed so alarmed for Timidity sat away from everyone else (which was pretty much the norm), but this time she didn't even bother to face or engage with the others. Intelligence too was uncharacteristically quiet and detached from what was going on. Her eyes were closed and her face was in a deep frown as she sat with arms folded while in a lotus position far off from the others. Happiness meanwhile was like a hollow shell. She had a deadpan look etched onto her face and was unusually pale – both in complexion and in wardrobe. But the most distressing sight was that of Affection. The normally good-natured and sympathetic emotion had bloodshot eyes, tear-stained checks and was wailing uncontrollably.

"Raven, _please_," said Sloth, who had her fingers plugged into her ears. "Make her stop that…_noise_. This is worse than listening to that song by the 's…"

"Affection?" said Raven as she approached the hysterical emotion slowly. Affection gasped and looked up at Raven with wide eyes, the tears still streaming down her face.

"How could he?" she squeaked. "W…why would he?"

"What did she just say?" said Bravery. "What…what the heck is she saying?"

"She's right," murmured Intelligence, earning a look from everyone present. "Why did he have to go and betray us? And why was I so _utterly_ stupid to let him?"

Everyone's eyes soon fell upon Neurotic, who looked on nervously. She then glanced over at Raven timidly. "You all look at me as if this is my fault. I…I was only trying to warn you…"

"No…" said Intelligence, cutting off what most likely would've been a smart-aleck reply from Sloth. "You're not to blame, Neurotic. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I _knew_ there was always the risk that all of this was just a lie…but I let my guard down anyway…I let myself be duped and distracted for a chance at love, for a chance to not be such a prude for once… and look where it got us. We wasted so much valuable time on this horrid being and for what? If there was ever any hope of doing away with Trigon, it's all lost now. It's already the beginning of May and our sixteenth birthday is on the 1st of September. How in the name of Azar are we going to figure out how to thwart Trigon's return in less than four months?! It's over, it's all _over…_and it's all my fault…"

Bravery and Sloth's faces turned serious, while Happiness, Timidity and Affection continued to remain depressed and gloomy. Rage's face however surprisingly softened a bit while, and Intelligence, the lone emotion well versed in six different languages, struggled to allow two feeble words to escape from her lips…

"…I'm sorry…" she whispered before bursting into tears.

"Don't be…" replied Raven.

**Lithium - don't want to lock me up inside  
****Lithium - don't want to forget how it feels without  
****Lithium -I want to stay in love with my sorrow  
****Oh…**

Intelligence's head shot back up.

"…What?"

"I said…'don't be'. Honestly, this is all my fault…and none of yours. For almost all my life I've been told that I need to stay focused, that I need to keep my emotions in check. But not once did anyone actually tell me that I literally had to close myself off from everyone and everything…even though I am…what I am. But I never listened. My actions placed great strain on each and every one of you, and you were left with no choice but to go against me and to do what you felt was best for all of us. And I guess that a part of me is sort of glad you went on and did this. I mean… t sucks living day in and day out as an empty shell, and even when I'm upset when these kind of things happen, it just shows me that …I'm still a little bit human, and a little less of a..."

Raven's voice trailed off, and she watched as Affection wiped the tears from her face. She then glanced over at Happiness and Timidity who were watching and listening to their mistress intently.

"So…" said Timidity, speaking for the first time since Raven appeared. "Are we going to be okay, Raven?"

Raven lowered her head. "I don't know. Maybe…maybe not. But it's going to take time either way. Right now we just need to take things one step at a time. I didn't allow myself enough time to heal properly after things didn't work out with Robin, and that's a big part of why we were hurt yesterday. It's a big part of why we are _all_ hurting now. This time, we'll take it slow. Besides…I think that there are more pressing matters at hand…don't you think?"

Rage grimaced upon hearing this and Raven slowly made her way towards the center of the asteroid. "Now then, there are some things that I have to take care of back in the real world. I'll try to take easy, but only if you're willing to do the same. And I'll be back later on to see how things are coming along and that everything in here is back to normal."

"_Normal_," scoffed Rage. "Yeah, as normal as life can get for a fifteen-year half-human half-demon girl out to destroy the world."

**But God, I want to let it go…**

Raven frowned but never offered her a reply. She promptly phased out of sight, leaving her emotions to try and sort things out for themselves…

**Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone  
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show**

"I was such a fool," moaned Raven to herself as she resurfaced in her room. "I was so happy to have found someone that seemed so similar to me that I didn't even check to see if he was being honest with me. And I just made it so_ easy _for him. A blind man could've seen how miserable I was. Half of what he told me was most likely built upon what he already knew about me, and everything else I probably inadvertently told him without thinking..."

**Never wanted it to be so cold  
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me  
****I can't hold on to me  
Wonder what's wrong with me**

Raven then walked over to the corner of the room where Malchior's book laid and she frowned as she cautiously picked it up. _'Part of me wants to believe though that it was his loss in the end,' she_ thought as her slender fingers grazed the cover of the book. _'I'm not a people person and I prefer to be by myself than in a crowd. So for me to actually __want__ to spend time with somebody would be saying a lot about that person. There was so much I was willing to do for him…so much that I could have done for him, but instead of him loving me for me… in his eyes I was only a meal ticket for him to come back and try and take over the world. And I for one am sick and tired of the only men in my life viewing me as only a tool for world conquest! Why is it that I can only attract disaster and trouble into my life? Why can't something good happen to me for a change?'_

**  
Lithium - don't want to lock me up inside  
Lithium - don't want to forget how it feels without  
Lithium -I want to stay in love with my sorrow**

**Oh…  
**

'_I swear that if you didn't have the miraculous power of being impervious to fire, I would burn you into dust,'_ thought Raven bitterly as her grip on Malchior's book tightened. _'I would burn you and everything else that reminds me of you! Because of my destiny, no one wants to be around me, but when I met you, I thought that would all change. But, no! You went and got my hopes up for nothing!'_

Raven's eyes then fell on a lone luggage trunk that set not too far from the foot of her bed. _'Funny thing though how both Rorek and I got the last laugh on you,'_ scoffed Raven as she headed over to said trunk. _'You had done everything in your power to see to it that you had no opposition in your conquest over both Nol and my world – even going out of your way to exterminate all of those who were the most qualified to defeat you. And in the end, it was the ones you'd least expected – two young teens whose knowledge of the Heraldic Arts paled in comparison to yours – that succeeded in beating you.'_

**  
Don't want to let it lay me down this time  
Drown my will to fly  
Here in the darkness I know myself  
Can't break free until I let it go  
Let me go…  
**

The floor trunk opened with a rather raucous creak and Raven peered inside at its dusty but empty interior. Sighing to herself, Raven reached down and slowly set the book within the trunk. _'You hurt me so bad, Malchior. I've been hurt by a boy before, but at least it wasn't intentional on his part. But it hurt none the less to learn that in the end he would never love me the way that I loved him. And to feel that pain all over again just shows me something that had been there all long…"_

Raven eventually brought herself to close the trunk and she clasped its lock tight. She then slowly rose from the floor and sighed once more.

'_I was just never meant to love and I was never meant to be loved in return…' _

Just then, there was a knock on the door and Raven turned her attention towards it. Anytime something went wrong in her life, it was always a guessing game to Raven as to who came to check up on her. Still, she was rather surprised by whose voice she heard next…

**Darling, I forgive you after all  
Anything is better than to be alone  
****And in the end I guess I had to fall  
Always find my place among the ashes  
I can't hold on to me  
Wonder what's wrong with me  
**

"Raven?" called Beast Boy. "It's me. Look. I'm sorry."

Raven raised an eyebrow. _'He's sorry?'_

"For what?" asked Raven who started to make her way across the room. "You're not the one who…"

"No. I'm sorry that…he broke your heart."

Raven swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. "…I know it was all a lie," she stated. "But he was the only person who ever made me feel like I wasn't…creepy. And don't try to tell me I'm not."

**  
**"Okay, fine. You're _way_ creepy. But that doesn't mean you have to stay locked in your room. You think you're alone, Raven…but you're not."

Raven raised her eyes a bit upon hearing this. In all her misery and bitterness, she had nearly forgotten that Beast Boy had pretty much gone through the same thing she was going through now. Terra, once a fellow Teen Titan, confidante and friend, most definitely meant something to Beast Boy. In fact he was positively love-struck by the petite and easy-going blonde. How could she have forgotten how hurt he was when it was his beloved Terra who made it possible for Slade's troops to infiltrate Titans' Tower? How could she forget how devastated he was when Terra tried to kill him not once but twice? And how on earth could she forget that despite everything that happened, he still mourned for Terra and for what they had?

**Lithium - don't want to lock me up inside  
Lithium - don't want to forget how it feels without  
Lithium… (Stay in love with you)  
Oh…**

'_Nothing can undo what has happened, and nothing can change what is to come. But, at the same time, I still don't want to forget what I've learned…and I don't want to forget how good I once felt…even if it was only a lie…'_

Raven finally made it to her bedroom door and opened it. Still standing on the other side of it was Beast Boy, and on his face was a mixture of sympathy and comfort. Raven then gazed at his warm, green eyes which shone brightly like emeralds, and all of a sudden she was filled with such a sense of need that she did something most unbecoming of her character…

…Raven reached out and gave Beast Boy a _hug_.

…**I'm gonna let it go...**


	25. Chapter 25: Forgive Me

**Sorry for the delay folks. Some part might seem a bit OOC and fluffy, but I hope you like it.**

* * *

CHAPTER 25

It was a warm, calm July night – nearly two months since Raven's unfortunate encounter with Malchior – and on such a night, Raven had decided that she would go out for a stroll along the rocky shore of Titans' Tower Island. She clasped on her cloak, drew up its hood and made her way out of her room…

And ran right into a certain Tamaranean princess…

"Oh! A thousands apologies, friend Raven," sputtered a slightly flustered Starfire as she scrambled for the tray she had just dropped. "I just thought that I would bring you some refreshments to relax with."

Raven glanced down at the floor to see the spilt tea, lemon wedges and dissolving cubed sugar. Her violet eyes then met up with Starfire's exceedingly emerald eyes.

"You…didn't have to do this," said Raven who watched as Starfire frantically wiped up the mess with a towel she was carrying. "I said that I was fine."

"I know," said Starfire sweetly. "But I wanted to do something nice for my friend who has had a rough day."

"That's putting it mildly," said Raven with a slight chuckle, and she began her way down the hall. "But thanks anyway."

"Where are you going?" asked Starfire, rising from her knees.

"To see a friend...who's had a rough day. He's…still down by the shore, right?"

"That is correct. He has not left there since Cyborg last analyzed him."

"That's all I need to know…"

* * *

A few moments later, Raven stood along the shoreline of Titans' Tower Island. She watched silently as her fellow teammate stared down into the bay, his greenish reflection marred with a sense of regret and his usually carefree mind obviously now heavy in thought. In turn Raven began to reminisce back to the last 24 hours when Beast Boy's morose mood started to peak, and her feelings towards the green changeling received an extreme makeover…

_Late last night, the Teen Titans were called to a break-in over at a research facility over in Upper Jump City. And it was here where the Titans first met Adonis, an overly-macho teen with a California surfer accent, a beefed-up mechanical suit of armor and – much to Raven's dismay – the hots for Raven. Beast Boy took Adonis' conceited behavior very personal and after several poundings and jeers, Beast Boy lost his cool and lashed out at his aggressor, and during the tussle the two got accidentally showered in some of the lab's mystery chemicals. Adonis eventually succumbed to the surprisingly fierce beating he sustained from Beast Boy, but the normally playful jokester of the Titans had taken on a fiercer persona…_

"_Who's the tough guy now?" snarled Beast Boy. The other Titans stared down at the floor. At Beast Boy's feet was the shattered remains of 'Adonis'' mechanical suit - and a rather skinny teenaged-boy with black hair clad in a red jumpsuit._

"_Um…good job," commented Robin as Beast Boy walked past the group._

"_Nice…intensity," replied Cyborg, who seemed just at a lost of words as Robin._

"_Yeah," quipped Raven. "Have any good freak-outs lately?"_

_Quick as a flash, Beast Boy is in her face and despite the sudden invasion of personal space, Raven didn't seem all that intimidated – if at all. "I just got sick of being pushed around," replied Beast Boy who then spun on his heel and exited the room, sending a snarling encaged wolf in whimpering submission and plastering puzzled looks on his teammates' faces._

"_O….kay…" said Raven. "That was weird."_

"_Agreed," replied a worried Starfire. "What is wrong with Beast Boy?"_

"_He's probably just a bit on the edge from this creep," answered Robin who then gestured to Adonis' fallen form. _

"_And he seems quite familiar…doesn't he, Raven?" smirked Cyborg, who had walked over to take a better look at Adonis. Starfire and Raven then walked over as well and upon getting closer, Raven froze in her tracks and closed her eyes._

"_Dear Azar…Not __him_…"

"_Is that not the boy we met the other day at the parlor of pizza?" inquired Starfire, hovering over them._

"_The one and the same," smiled Cyborg. "The same wimpy yet overly confident kid who had a thing for our little Raven."_

"_And right now I actually wish Beast Boy had killed him…"_

"_Raven!"_

"_Relax, Star. I didn't really mean it. But I really wish that I didn't have to see this loser again."_

"_I guess he took you really seriously when you told him that you would only date him if he was a muscular hunk," replied Robin, who was dialing someone on his communicator._

"_And apparently __somebody__ couldn't pick up on sarcasm."_

"_Well in any case we need to get the authorities up here to close off the scene and pick up Adonis. Then we can go on with our lives…"_

_Or so Robin innocently thought. The Titans did indeed return home shortly after and they each retired for the night. But for Raven, who had remained in her room until sometime into the afternoon, the day's events with the other Titans went unnoticed by her. Today, just like the many that had followed after Malchior's betrayal, Raven had been consulting a lot of her scrolls, books and other keepsakes from Azarath. It wasn't so much that she was looking for a way around or out of her dark destiny – Raven had accepted that dreary outlook some time ago – but rather it was solely a means of closure. She knew in her heart that she had lost all those dear to her - Azar, Coman, her mother – all those years ago. Reading the letters, testimonies and notes written by their hand though simply gave Raven some peace of mind that – at least to a scant few- she was both a treasure and a pleasure to have been with. It also revealed some facts and possible theories to Raven about her birth, the prophecy and even Trigon himself…_

'_Although his is known across the universe, intimate details regarding Trigon's actual strengths, weaknesses and abilities remain unusually ambiguous – predominately because many have died at his hand, and for the seldom few that have survived, their mental and/or physical state hinders their abilities to recall matters accurately – if at all…'_

_With yet another ancient book in tow, Raven exited her room in search of a quick 'pick-me-up'. She was so entranced with her reading that her eyes never even left the book…_

'_Reports and legends state that among Trigon's seemingly endless arsenal are the abilities of __energy projection, size-shifting, super strength, invulnerability, telekinesis and telepathy…– yeah, big surprise there - … matter transmutation, omniscience, realit…'_

_Suddenly and without warning, Raven's book fell from her hands. Slightly startled, Raven's thoughts returned back to reality and she sensed Beast Boy's presence as he continued past her and down the hall._

"_Sorry," she replied as she knelt down to pick up the book._

"_You better be," said Beast Boy, who stopped in his tracks. "Why don't you look where you're going?"_

_Raven frowned. __"__On second thought, I'm not sorry and you're a jerk."_

_Raven then took __her leave, but the heated green Titan was obviously unable to let it rest. A few paces later and Raven glanced up to see Beast Boy – who miraculously somehow got ahead of her and had placed himself squarely in front of her. _

"_You know, Raven, I've been a really nice guy for a really long time. I've put up with your insults and your attitude, and I've had it!"_

_He then leaned into her face. "Consider this a warning. As of last night, Mr. Nice Guy has left the building."_

"…_Is this the part where I'm supposed to be intimidated?"_

"_No. __This__is!" Beast Boy then transformed into a huge Sasquatch-like being. As Raven backed away nervously, she geared herself for a defense as Beast Boy loomed over her and raised his fists to strike._

"_Beast Boy!"_

_Both Titans stopped and turned around. Down the hall stood Robin, Starfire and Cyborg, and none looked too thrilled to see him._

"_Leave her alone!"_

"_What's gotten into you, man?"_

"_You are behaving like a royal zarbnarf!"_

_Beast Boy morphed back into a human and made his way over to the others. "Look," he snapped. "This is who I am now. You guys don't like it? Tough!"_

"_Fine!" barked Robin, who clearly hated having a teammate - let along a subordinate lash out at him. "If this is how you want to act, do it somewhere else! None of us are interested!"_

_Raven, who was still at a distance watched nervously as the two boys angrily stared each other down. Seconds later, Beast Boy went as if he was going to lunge at Robin, scaring the Boy Wonder into flinching._

"_That's what I thought," Beast Boy chuckled maliciously, and he promptly disappeared_ down the hall.

"_Raven, are you alright?" asked Robin, as the slightly unnerved mage went to join the others__._

"_I think the same should be asked of Beast Boy. What's been going on today?"_

"_He scratched up my chassis over a video game!" said Cyborg._

"_He treated me like a servant girl!" growled Starfire. _

"_He ate my ham and eggs for breakfast!"_

"_Sounds like Beast Boy's been…wait a minute. He ate your __what__?!"_

"_He…ate…my…ham __and__ eggs… for breakfast! He even said that 'real men don't eat tofu.' And he's ripped up and dented some of the training equipment in the gym."_

"_This…is bad…and stranger still…I'm actually really worried about him."_

"_You ought to be," grimaced Cyborg. "If that little grass stain lashes out at me or anyone of you again, he'll be walking funny for a month!"_

"_I'm serious, Cyborg. Beast Boy can be a bit unreasonable at times, but this is a bit much even for him. And interestingly enough, he didn't get like this until __after__ his encounter with Adonis."_

"_But we have all battled it out with Adonis," replied Starfire. "Why is it that only friend Beast Boy taking the matter so difficultly?"_

"_I don't think it's just that, Star. Think about it: out of all of us, what made Beast Boy's encounter stand out?"_

"_He actually took Adonis out?" questioned Cyborg._

"_That…and he was the only one to get showered in those chemicals!" deduced Robin._

"_Exactly," replied Raven. "Those chemicals were highly unstable…and untested. It's likely it had some sort of adverse effect on his mental and emotional state."_

"_And his physical state?"_

"_Only time will tell on that one…"_

**

* * *

**

Can you forgive me again?  
You're my one true friend  
But I didn't mean to hurt you

"So…he was the one who hurt you, right? Not me?"

Raven's thoughts returned to the present, and she looked up at Beast Boy who somehow had sensed that she was standing behind him.

**I heard the words come out  
I felt that I would die  
It hurt so much to hurt you**

"He broke into the Tower to attack you…" she responded, thinking back to earlier that night when Adonis – transformed by the research lab's chemicals into a massive wolverine-like monstrosity – came into Titans' Tower to settle the score with Beast Boy. "…And he would up attacking me too."

"I can't believe I ate meat," groaned Beast Boy. "And I acted like a jerk. …I'm sorry."

"You weren't yourself," said Raven.

"Cyborg says the chemicals at the lab messed with my DNA…that it unleashed something…primal."

"It did. But he gave you an antidote. You're all better now."

"Yeah. But that thing—that _beast_—it came from inside me. And it's still there. I can feel it."

**Then you look at me  
You're not shouting anymore  
You're silently broken**

"Good."

Beast Boy glanced over as Raven walked over and took a seat beside him. "If it wasn't for that beast, I might not be here right now," continued Raven. "Having that thing inside doesn't make you an animal. Knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man."

"Hmm. Maybe you should call me…Beast _Man_ from now on."

Raven looked up at Beast Boy, who was standing up confidently with his hands on his hips as if he was posing heroically.

"We're having a moment here," she replied stolidly. "Don't ruin it."

Beast Boy's grin disappeared and he took his seat beside her again. _"_Beast Dude?" he inquired.

**I'd give anything now  
To kill those words for you**

**  
**Raven just groaned."Welcome back, Beast Boy. Welcome back."

"Yeah. It feels good to…be back. And I'm really sorry about what happened today."

"How many times are you going to apologize? I've already forgiven you."

**Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you"  
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah…**

"Yeah but you could've have been really hurt today. I wish I hadn't lost my cool, and I wish I could've kept Adonis from getting to you."

"I've been meaning to ask you about that," said Raven, growing a bit restless. Beast Boy glanced over at her once more. "I know that we're a team and that we're supposed to have each other's interests in mind – but lately it seems that you're actually very protective of me. And when I asked the others, it seems that you were very upset when you thought that you had hurt me, and …you went out of your way to bring me back when that jerk kidnapped me…Why?"

**'Cause you were made for me  
Somehow I'll make you see  
How happy you make me**

Beast Boy was silent for a moment. Whether he was nervous or just thinking deeply was uncertain.

"Because…you're…a nice person, Raven," he finally replied. "Others think you're just this…creepy goth girl who never likes to have any fun. But…I've learned that you're really not like that. You may keep to yourself a lot, but you do care about the team and each and every one of us. And after those couple of…run-ins with your emotions, I learned that there's more to you than meets the eye. And I…kind of like that."

**I can't live this life  
Without you by my side  
I need you to survive**

"You…_like_ that in me?"

"…Well…yeah. I know now that … I kind of wish that…Terra was actually a bit more like you…in some ways. I cared about her a lot, but with Terra, she was kind of like 'you'll take me just as you see me and you'll like it', you know? I know that you're supposed to like a person for who he or she is, but Terra…Terra always seemed to be hiding herself from everybody…even from well…herself."

"You thought _Terra_ was more secretive than _me_?"

"In a way. And she was a bit superficial…"

"Ooh. Someone's been brushing up on his vocabulary and grammar."

Beast Boy just stared at her. If it were humanly possible a vein probably could've burst right out of his temple.

"Are you done mocking me?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Beast Boy scoffed. "Anyway, I just guess that I was so happy that I'd found someone who liked the same things that I did, I just kind of overlooked it. But I wish I hadn't now."

"What's done is done. Didn't you tell me that after…" Raven then grew silent and pursed her lips.

"Well, didn't you tell me that once?"

"I guess. But it doesn't take all of the pain she caused away. When she left the team to join with Slade, and when she got turned to stone - I was just so confused and so helpless. There was so much that could have been avoided had I been a little smarter…had I been a little stronger. And to hear Adonis egg me on and to see history almost repeat itself today…to even _think_ that my words and my actions could've gotten you killed …"

**So stay with me  
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry  
**

"But history _didn't _repeat itself. A lot has happened since then, and you – if not the Beast within you - saw to it that it didn't happen again. Besides, it's not like you're in love with me…"

Beast Boy's eyes met with Raven's, and feelings of shock, dread, confusion and longing ravaged her very being. Raven forced herself to look down at the bay and apart from the lapping waters, the cry of seagulls and the distant hum of the city in the distant, an uncomfortable silence soon settled between the two.

**(…So sorry…)**

"…Would that be a bad thing?" asked Beast Boy, nervously.

"I…don't really know," replied Raven, her cheeks slightly tinged. "Ever since that whole thing with…_him_…I've been doing a lot of thinking about…the idea of us possibly being…something more. But, I'm not exactly 'experienced' in this field…"

"Well neither am I…"

"But at the same time…in time…maybe we _could _find out. For now, I'm okay with being just friends, and if we were to rush into this, we might lose what we already have. And, I also think we should just hold off on telling the others anything about this conversation. At least until we're certain."

"…That's alright with me," smiled Beast Boy. He then let out a big yawn.

"I think I'm going to go turn in now. Thanks for making me feel better, Rae…I mean Raven."

"No problem. That's what friends do. And you're a _true_ friend. Goodnight, Beast Boy."

"'Night, Raven..."

**And you forgive me again  
****You're my one true friend  
****And I never meant to hurt you…**

* * *

**Yeah, I think it turned a bit fluffy at the end, but in my defense I think that's part of the reason why Raven kept popping Beast Boy upside the head in 'Trouble In Tokyo".**


	26. Chapter 26: Snow White Queen

**Well boys and girls, here is the latest addition to SOML and believe it or not, this is actually the shorter version of this chapter. I also would've had more chapters to upload, but a run-in with the stomach flu (at least I hope this is _only _stomach flu) has hindered my performance. But in any event, read and enjoy...**

* * *

CHAPTER 26

As the dog days of summer came to an end, Raven grew increasingly anxious and impatient – understandably so. She was noticeably more snappish with the other Titans, and she hardly ever ate. And sleeping? Forget about it. Plagued by nightmares, haunting memories from the past and an overactive imagination, Raven considered herself having a 'good' day if she was able to grab a few minutes of sleep here and there. Then late one August evening, the Titans were called out to investigate an attack on an oil rig out on Jump City Bay, and in an instant Raven assumed the worse. Thus you could almost imagine her relief when she soon learned that the threat was being caused by Dr. Light and within a few minutes, the Titans had the light-fixated villain back in their custody. Then as she left the team to tend to booking Dr. Light and to enjoy a night out on the town, Raven quickly whisked herself back to the Tower and at the stroke of midnight, she locked her door and vowed to never leave her room under any circumstances. And, true to her word, Raven sat holed up in her room watching as the sun slowly came up and as the sun slowly went under. At some point into the evening, Raven (now seated upon her bed) reached over to her nightstand where her wind-up clock sat. Gingerly picking it up as if it were a bomb, the less-than-thrilled birthday girl worriedly gazed into the clock's face and seconds later, she flopped down backwards onto her bed.

"Six PM. Just six more hours and it'll be over. Six more…"

There was a knock on the door, and the mere sound startled a gasp out of Raven. "Hello?" she called out and immediately rose to her feet.

"Don't answer it," sputtered the voice of Timidity. "What if it's part of the prophecy? Remember, and I quote:_ '_At some point on this dark day in mankind's history, the spawn of Trigon will experience visions foretelling of his or her destiny, and then he or she is to be approached later by a prophet sent by his or her father.' Now apart from that, we have no idea what's about to go down or when exactly it'll happen."

"So?" retorted Bravery. "I said it before and I'll say it again. She can't stay cooped up in her room forever. Sooner or later she'll have to leave here and she'll have to face this problem head on."

"Strange as it is, I agree with Bravery," said Intelligence. "However, there's no need to go rushing into things either. It _could_ be a trap."

'…_Neurotic?'_ questioned Raven. _'What's…your take on things?'_

"…You're actually asking me for my opinion?" asked the brown-cloaked emotion.

'_Well if memory serves me right, bad things always happened when we didn't pay you any mind. You clearly have a gift of divination, and we should try putting it to good use for once. So tell us…should I go see who or what that was at the door?'_

Neurotic's breath rattled in her throat and she grew quiet. "In my vision, I could see fire and brimstone. I could smell smoke and blood. And I could hear _that voice_…taunting me like it always does. But these things I do not see awaiting you just outside your bedroom door."

"Oh joy," scoffed Sloth. "That makes it _so _much better." Raven meanwhile mustered up what little bit of courage she had left and crossed over to her bedroom door. Moments later, she slid it open and cautiously peeked out into the darkened hallway. _'Coast looks clear…'_ Raven then sensed several bursts of emotion radiate from the floor above her.

'_But there is definitely some activity in the common area…'_

Although she was somewhat reluctant, Raven decided to leave the sanctity of her room and go up to investigate. Around the bend and up the stairs she went, all the while playing out numerous 'what-if' and 'worse-case-scenarios' in her mind. Eventually Raven reached the door leading into the common area, and as the door slid open, she was greeted by darkness and silence. Suddenly the room was illuminated by light and from out of nowhere the other Titans popped out. High above from the ceiling, a banner reading 'Happy Birthday' unfurled out as a shower of confetti and brightly colored balloons rained down.

"SURPRISE!!" shouted Raven's teammates with enthusiasm.

And what a surprise it was. Raven however was more or less freaked out by the unexpectedness of it and after a rather loud scream, she promptly phased down into the floor and back into her room. "Oooh! A party for us!" squealed Happiness, clapping her hands. "Hurry back, Rae-Rae. It looked like fun!"

Raven grimaced. "How the _heck_ did they know today was my birthday?" she screamed. "I never told anyone!" She then phased out of her room and back up into the common area. As she reappeared behind Beast Boy, he let out a surprised scream of his own and darted over to the safety of the others.

"How did you know it was my birthday?" asked Raven coolly.

"Um…" started Beast Boy. "Remember last night how you made that big deal about tomorrow? Well, we started wondering what tomorrow was, so we did some snooping."

The remaining three Titans just glared at him. "Okay, _I_ did some snooping," he continued sheepishly. "And I sort of found a restricted file in the off-limits area of the Titans' computer that kind of had your birthday on it."

"And we have been preparing your celebration ever since," said Starfire.

"We put up tons of decorations," said Beast Boy, as if that justified his earlier breaking and entering.

"I baked my famous eight-layer cake with three kinds of frosting," said Cyborg.

"And I have assembled for you a traditional Tamaranean throknar," said Starfire, cradling what resembled a glob of red meat in the shape of a crown on top of a pillow. "The crown of meat!" '_You have got to be kidding me…' _thought Raven as she looked at everyone (but more so at the thing Starfire pushed up into her face) in annoyance. "I hope this is okay," said Robin. "We just…"

"No, it's not," snapped Raven. "Look. I really appreciate what you're trying to do her but I'm not interested."

"But there will be music and the iced cream, and a strange game involving pins and the behind of a donkey," said Starfire.

"We got a piñata shaped like Beast Boy," grinned Cyborg. "You know you want to smack it."

"…I said no."

"Come on, Raven," said Beast Boy walking up behind her. "I know you hate fun, but it's your birthday. It's special. You can't let this day end without…"

"**NO!"** barked Raven, her irises glowing white. In a burst of anger, Raven's powers ran amok, and all throughout the room the balloons popped, the banner crumbled into pieces and the refreshments went flying everywhere. And like the last time Raven lost her cool, Beast Boy found himself covered in food. However this time he seemed not only surprised but noticeably hurt by her outburst. Raven then stormed past Starfire and Cyborg and out of the common area. "Think nice, calming thoughts," said Intelligence nervously as Raven walked briskly down the hall. "Nice, calming thoughts. Just don't lose total control…"

"Raven!" called someone running after her. _'…Robin…'_ thought Raven, who stopped in her tracks.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"…I just don't like parties."

"It's more than that. I can tell. We have a bond, remember? You've been inside my mind. Let me inside yours."

Raven scoffed upon hearing this and then turned to look at him over her shoulder, her face scrunched up into a frown. "Robin, you know me better than anyone. You should know there are places in my mind where you can't go…where no one should _ever _go."

"I'm willing to try if you'll…"

"I can't," interrupted Raven. Part of her was seething from the very idea that Robin – _Robin_ of all people was the one trying to open up to her, but another part of her wanted to just break down into tears and tell him everything. Everything…

"…Tell me what's going on."

"Just trust me," Raven reiterated sternly and she started to walk away. "If you knew anything about the day of my birth… you'd know there's nothing to celebrate."

**

* * *

**

Stoplight, lock the door  
Don't look back

It was three hours later since the fiasco up in the common area, and Raven was back in her room still eyeballing the clock. Anticipation and uncertainty had left the usually composed Titan feeling very restless and she tapped her knee impatiently against her mattress as if her movement would stimulate the clock into moving faster. "Can't this thing go any faster?" she voiced out loud and then groaned. "I just want this day to be over!" She then lowered her head in an effort to re-gather her thoughts.

"Relax…only a few hours to go…it might not even happen. Focus…meditate. It'll be midnight before you know it."

**Undress in the dark  
And hide from you, all of you**

And meditate she did. Minutes later, Raven hovered above her bed and her mind and temperament slowly began to calm down.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos… Azarath Metrion Zinthos…"

'…_What on earth is that smell?' _

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos… Azarath Metrion Zinthos…"

'_Ugh…it almost smells like copper burning…'_

"Aza…"

Raven then broke off into a cough, her throat suddenly feeling very parched. She coughed once again and sudden realization swept over her…

'_Copper is a metal…and blood smells just… like...'_

Raven's eyes popped open and much to her horror, the entire room was engulfed by searing flames and the air was drying out, heavy from smoke…

**You'll never know the way your words have haunted me  
I can't believe you'd ask these things of me (**_**Ever and ever**_**)**

"What you have concealed, you shall become," bellowed a deep, gravelly voice from out of nowhere.

'_That voice…'_ Raven thought in alarm as she clutched her throat. _'Why does it…'_

"…You have no other choice..."

Raven's eyes widened even more upon hearing this. _'You! You're that __thing__ that approached me when I was a girl.'_

**You don't know me **_**(Ever and ever)  
**_**Now and ever **_**(Ever and ever)**_

"…Your destiny will be fulfilled..." continued the monster who remained unseen. Raven looked on speechlessly as some of the smoking embers from the ceiling fell down onto the blankets of the bed. Then like magic, the streams of flame danced around until they joined together into the shape of a huge stylized S.

"The portal must be opened!"

" NOOOOO!!" screamed Raven as a blinding flash of light consumed her. Seconds later, Raven looked around frantically only to find her room in the calm state that it was before the vision. Heaving deeply, Raven could only sit in silence with sweat streaming down her face. A few moments later there was a knock on her door. Still rather shaken by what she had just witnessed, Raven feebly wiped her brow and slowly made her way to the door. Standing on the other side of it was an overly concerned Robin.

"I heard you scream," he stated. Just then the Tower's emergency alarm started to sound off and Raven's brooch flashed simultaneously with the Tower's klaxon. "Trouble," she answered glancing up at Robin.

Robin nodded. "Robin, come in!" came the voice of Starfire over a communicator. Robin promptly took out his communicator in response.

"Report, Star."

"I am currently in the common area and a report has come in stating that an intruder has just broken into one of the manufacturing compounds of STAR Labs."

"I see. Gather up the coordinates and meet us down in the garage. Raven and I will find Beast Boy and Cyborg. Let's move out!"

Less than a half hour later, the Teen Titans arrived at the cited break-in and they made their way inside of the building's machine room. Surrounded by countless pistons, gears and piping, the Titans cautiously walked along one of the room's many catwalks in search of trouble.

"So, who's the bad guy du jour?" asked Cyborg, who was only briefed just minutes ago in the car. "Gizmo? Mad Mod? Killer Moth?"

"The report simply stated there was an intruder," answered Starfire.

"Well, whoever it is," started Beast Boy confidently. "We're gonna totally kick their…"

Beast Boy suddenly ran into the back of Robin (who in turn had abruptly came to a stop) and his face was one of shock and disbelief.

"No…"

Beast Boy seconded the look of fright and the others looked up to see what the boys spotted. There, partially hidden within the shadows of an elevated platform and casually leaning up against a wall was a familiar silhouette, one that belonged to an enigmatic, cunning (and more importantly great) archenemy of the Titans…a villain thought to be long gone and dead…

…Slade.

"It's been a long time, hasn't it, Titans?" said Slade in his usual frighteningly calm and impassive manner. "A month? A year? A _millennium_? Far too long for my tastes, anyway. I was beginning to think I'd never see your smiling faces again."

"You…how did you survive?" was all that Cyborg could say.

"Terra took you down," voiced Beast Boy adamantly. "_Way_ down!"

"Slade," snarled Robin. "I don't know where you've been, but you shouldn't have come back. I'm still ready." Just then, a small copy of the glowing 'S' that appeared on Raven's bed appeared on Slade's forehead and Raven's eyes widened.

'_Oh no…'_

"That's precious, Robin," chuckled Slade. "But I didn't come back for you."

Raven's jaw dropped and seconds later, Slade's hands suddenly became aflame. With a feral yell, he conjured up a great blast of fire which snaked its way from his hands and towards the Titans. The team scattered in every direction and Raven took to the air thinking that she could easily avoid it. However the fire column had a mind of its own and instead of just crashing into the wall, it locked onto Raven, twisted itself upwards and closed in for the kill.

"Don't just stand there like a deer caught in the headlights!" shouted Bravery to Raven, who hovered in place watching the deadly gust zero in on her. "Move!"

It was enough to jar Raven from her paralyzed-like state and without a second to spare she used her soul-self to phase into a nearby wall and out of harm's way. _'Did you just see that?!'_ thought Raven worriedly. _'He had the mark of Scath!'_

"I'm just as worried as you are," said Intelligence. "And now that he's seemingly blessed with powers from Trigon, Slade's more formidable than ever. The others won't stand a chance in there."

'_I know and it's all my fault that he's even here to begin with…Which is why…I'm going back in there.' _

Raven phased back into the room and reentered under the catwalk where the other Titans had congregated to."Since when can Slade do that?" asked Cyborg. Slade meanwhile leapt down from his perch and landed on the same level as the Titans, his hands still ablaze and his solitary eye looking eager to kill.

"Not sure," replied Robin sternly. "But he won't be doing it for long. Titans, go!"

And with that the Titans charged into battle. Cyborg and Starfire immediately went to work with a barrage of lasers and starbolts (which Slade easily shielded himself from) and Robin came up after them with a handful of his trusty discs. When they 'exploded', the impact instantly resulted in the freezing of both Slade and the blazing fire. A scant few seconds later however, Slade promptly thawed himself out and broke away from his icy prison. Leaping away from Robin, Slade landed on a lower level of the room and Raven (eagerly anxious to nip this problem in the bid and fast) summoned her powers and hurled some of the larger jagged pieces of ice his way. Leaping out of harm's way yet again, Slade vaulted over to another catwalk and then slid back as Beast Boy came crashing down in the form of a gorilla. Starfire soared in after Beast Boy with her hands rapidly firing, but a shield and one heck of a fiery volleyball from Slade sent Starfire crashing down. Raven meanwhile looked on silently as Cyborg (who was waiting several yards behind Slade for his chance to act) took one of the nearby pistons by its shaft and charged at him. Slade however looked on at the threat very placidly and when Cyborg went up to bat, awave of fire covered Slade's body and burned cleanly through the makeshift club.

"Whoa!"

" '_Whoa?'_" repeated Slade. "That's it? No clever comment? I was looking forward to that."

Quickly abandoning the now useless weapon, Cyborg charged in for an up-close and personal shot at Slade, but the arch-villain with a flick of the finger issued another fiery blast that sent Cyborg flying. Raven flew in hoping to catch Cyborg, but the bionic Titan's sheer weight coupled with the velocity and force that he was traveling by was simply too much for her and the two took a tumble. As they came to a halt further down the catwalk, Raven rushed over to Cyborg's side. He was alive, but the fall had rendered him unconscious. Raven looked on worriedly.

"Cyborg? Please get up! Cyborg?!"

No response. Raven then rose up off the floor and onto her feet. "I just want this day to end!"

"I think we both know this day is far from over."

Raven gasped and when she turned around, Slade stood a mere few feet away from her.

"Hello, birthday girl. Ready for your present?"

'…_Are you ready for yours?' _Summoning up her powers into one hand, Raven unleashed a huge black claw-like wave of energy which took hold of Slade. She then swiftly propelled him through the air - and into a rather dense wall of concrete - and a sigh of relief escaped Raven's lips when a plume of dust and smoke floated around from where Slade was planted.

"…I have a message for you."

'_This guy is like a cockroach!' _thought Raven as her face took on a steely resolve, but just when she was about to cut loose on him, Slade suddenly reached out and caught hold of her wrist. As he started to glow an ominous red hue, Slade watched as Raven groaned and writhed in pain, his vise-like grip preventing her from fighting back or escaping. When he was satisfied with the results, Slade released her, and Raven tumbled down onto a large gear wheel. Quickly assessing the damage, Raven looked on in shock as she noted that not only was her sleeve torn but on her exposed skin laid a strange glowing red mark…

…Just like the mark on Slade's forehead.

….Just like the mark of Scath.

"It has begun," proclaimed Slade, his being now basked not only by the threatening red aura but volts of electricity as well. The unnatural and unholy energy radiated from Slade's body and coursed throughout all over the room, blowing out machines, gears and pistons in the process. Raven looked on in horror as explosion after explosion erupted through the room, and clouds of smoke and showers of debris started to rain down on her teammates (who were now sprinting for the nearest exit). But it was all a futile attempt. Catwalks had begun to buckle, and huge pieces of gears and debris were destined to crush those that she cared for the most. If only everything would just…

"_**STOP!!"**_

Raven's eyes turned white as black energy poured out from her body and washed over the entire room, and the young mage watched as everything around her: the collapsing machinery, the explosions - even Slade and the Titans themselves – started to move slower and slower until finally, everything resembled a huge freeze frame shot. Raven then glanced around the room in shock as she spotted her friends: Starfire was flying through the air, while Beast Boy was caught midway through one of his transformations and Cyborg stood frozen in place. Raven's eyes then fell on Robin, who had fallen onto his back and had it not been for this…freak occurrence, he would surely have been killed by the 'rolling' gear._'This is too weird…even by my standards,'_ thought Raven as her arm hugged her body for warmth and she walked around to observe her situation. Raven then stopped when she came across Slade, who thankfully, was frozen in place and was still levitating right where she last saw him.

"How did I…" said Raven, who turned around to figure out what to do next.

"You might be able to stop time, birthday girl…"

Raven's head turned around so fast that she almost gave herself whiplash. She looked on in disbelief at Slade's frozen form. _'That's impossible…'_

"…But you can't stop me," he continued. Raven's eyes widened as Slade began to glow red once more and he promptly started moving once more.

**You belong to me - my snow white queen  
****There's nowhere to run so let's just get it over**

"You can't stop any of it, really," taunted Slade as he casually started to make his way towards her. "I have to say, Raven, when I found out the truth, I was very impressed. All this time, I had no idea. The power lurking inside you. The glorious destiny that awaits. It's always the quiet ones, isn't it?"

'_Shut up!'_ screamed Raven as she backed into a wall and claps her hands to her head. She then took off running._ 'Just leave me alone!'_

"But honestly," continued Slade from behind her, and judging by the soft pattering of his footsteps, it was clear that he was in no hurry after her. "Did you think you could just blow out the candles and wish it all away? Today is the day it begins."

**Soon I know you'll see - you're just like me  
Don't scream anymore my love 'cause all I want is you...**

Raven gasped as she came upon a dead end and she turned to face her stalker. "You've known this all your life," said Slade, leaning into her face and causing her to turn away. "It _is_ going to happen. And no matter what you wish, no matter where you go, no matter how you squirm… there is nothing you can do to stop it."

"Wanna bet?" said the voice of Bravery. "Raven! Stop cowering there like a leaf and fight back."

'_No, I can't…I can't do this alone…'_

"We've been telling you that since Day 1 and you're just figuring it out now?!"

"Please, Bravery, not now" said Intelligence. "Raven quick! Go to Robin! He'll probably know what to do!"

Raven quickly phased through the wall and flew over to where Robin laid. She then placed a hand on his chest and silently prayed that just as mysteriously as she had frozen time would she also be able to undo the effects on her teammate. Her energy washed over Robin and luckily for her that did the trick. Robin gasped for air and looked up at her in bewilderment. Raven then summoned her powers once again and the two Titans disappeared from sight and out of the room. Moments later, the pair resurfaced out in Jump City and as she looked around, Raven realized that her newfound power had worked to a greater intent for everything and everyone out and about throughout the entire city was frozen. "What is going on?" asked Robin, rising to his feet. "Why is Slade back? Where did he get those powers? How did you stop time?"

Raven looked at him remorsefully. "I…I'm not sure," she answered, knowing that to some extent that wasn't a boldfaced lie. She then looked down at her torn sleeve and the glowing rune on her arm faded away.

"I never wanted this day to come. And when it did, I just wanted it to stop. I guess I got my wish."

"What is happening?"

"…It's my birthday."

Just then, Slade reappeared. Leaping down from some high top location, he landed a few feet away from the pair and Raven nervously backed away. "Raven, run!" demanded Robin, taking a fighting stance.

'_So not a problem!'_ thought Raven and she took off in the opposite direction as Robin and Slade prepared to face off. When she got to the end of the block, Raven took flight and started streaking away.

"So what happened to you taking responsibility for this mess?" asked Bravery. "You're offered a get-out-of-jail card and you snatch it up without thinking twice about it?"

'_I __have__ thought twice about it, and right now the most sensible thing to do would be to retreat and then regroup.'_

"Retreat and regroup?! Who's to say that Robin will even…"

A raging fireball suddenly erupted from behind her, and an anguished cry from Robin caused Raven to stop in mid-flight. _'Oh my god,'_ she thought and circled back around to help, but just then, Slade waltzed through the firewall that blocked Raven from Robin.

"I have a message for you and I _will_ deliver it, whether you like it or not."

Incensed by his ferocious persistence, Raven summoned her powers once more, and numerous objects – a sewer pipe, mailboxes, parking meters – everything and anything that was in her sight soon took to the air and were hurled at Slade. "Skies will burn," he continued calmly, simply breaking through and dodging each obstacle thrown his way. "Flesh will become stone. The sun will set on your world, never to rise again." Flames suddenly consumed his entire body and after a brief solar flare, Slade disappeared from view. Looking around frantically to determine where her aggressor disappeared to, Raven stood vulnerable as Slade suddenly rematerialized behind her, eliciting a frightened gasp from her. Then, just as he did back in the machine room, Slade suddenly lunged at Raven and took hold of both of her arms. Lightning consumed Raven's being as the same paralyzed pain from before took hold and she fell backwards. Struggling to get up and away, Raven stopped as she noticed that the upper arms of her outfit had been torn and that her exposed skin now displayed glowing red marks.

"Time won't wait forever. You can't run away from who you are."

"I can try!" gritted Raven and in an instant, two huge slabs of the asphalt road flipped upwards and trapped Slade inside. Raven then took off towards Robin lying amidst the rubble and after a few frantic moments of digging, he was freed. Raven then took hold of the bruised Boy Wonder and the two slowly but surely made their way down the street towards a massive cathedral. Not ever bothering to knock or inquire if anyone else was inside, Raven threw the doors open and she continued to escort Robin inside. There and halfway up towards the altar, Robin's injuries proved too much for them and the two collapsed to the floor.

**Wake up in a dream  
****Frozen in fear**

"I shouldn't have dragged you into this," said Raven glumly as Robin groaned with pain. "…_Any_ of you. But you're in, and you need to know. I need to tell you. When I was born, they looked into my future. On this day, the anniversary of my birth… something is supposed to happen. Something very bad. That's why I…I didn't want to celebrate. But just because you don't have a party doesn't mean it's not your birthday."

"The symbol…" moaned Robin. "On his forehead…what does it mean?"

Before Raven could answer him (though it was somewhat unlikely that she would've drew up the courage to tell him the whole truth – even at this point and time) the cathedral's doors were blown off their hinges and once again, Slade stood off in the distance. Placing his hands together and then pulling them apart, a torrent of fire gushed forth, ripping the two Titans apart. When Raven came to, she turned around to see Slade crouching not too far from her, his haunting gaze boring into her very soul.

"It's just you and me now, kid."

Raven gasped, and without even thinking she inadvertently sent one of the cathedral's pews flying at Slade. Caught off guard by the suddenness of the attack, Slade groaned as he went sliding backwards into the flames and Raven acted upon her brief chance to escape. Knowing that Robin was safe (Slade was after _her_ after all), Raven tore across the cathedral towards the only door not engulfed in flames. As she burst through the door and down the alleyway it led out to, a blast of fire came roaring out after her - solid proof to Raven that her stalker was still alive and well…

"You're making this much more difficult than this needs to be," said Slade as he stepped out of the cathedral. He then lifted up a burning hand and threw a fireball that unfolded into yet another blazing firewall that soon cut off Raven's escape. "The message must be delivered."

Driven by sheer fear_, _Raven phased into her soul self form andwithout a moment's hesitation soared through the firewall. When she cleared it, she resumed her usual form but she dared not to break her stride and with good reason too. Slade – no thanks to her father- had come upon the power of flight and he too burst through the firewall in hot pursuit. Soon, the deadly game of cat-and-mouse turned into a game of Copycat. Every aerial move Raven pulled off in an effort to distance herself, Slade copied it in order to keep up with his prey. Every object Raven took a hold of was simply brushed off and Slade retaliated by unleashing two flaming arms to try and take hold of her. Raven dodged and weaved out of harms way and dove through a narrow passage between two skyscrapers and when Slade followed in after her, Raven caused the buildings to smash together – supposedly trapping Slade inside.

**All your hands on me  
I can't scream, I can't scream  
****I can't escape the twisted way you think of me  
I feel you in my dreams and I don't sleep (**_**Ever and ever**_**)  
I don't sleep (**_**Ever and ever**_**)**

But, like every other time that evening, Slade emerged from the core of the buildings untouched. He streaked over and plowed into Raven and the two crashed onto a roof of another building. Raven broke away and as she started to run, Slade reached for her cloak and ripped it off.

"What you have concealed, you shall become! You have no other choice."

Raven tumbled to the floor, the night's unusually cold air chilling her entire back, which thanks to Slade, was now fully exposed and covered in red markings. She then turned to face Slade and suddenly leapt up to charge him. Her entire body became surrounded by her dark energy but the second Slade grabbed hold of her, the power evaporated. "The message _will_ be delivered," he continued as he struggled with Raven and soon grabbed hold of her other arm. "Your destiny shall be fulfilled."

**Say you belong to me - my snow white queen  
There's nowhere to run so let's just get it over  
****Soon I know you'll see - you're just like me  
Don't scream anymore my love 'cause all I want is you**

Raven's eyes became as big as saucers and a sickening feeling filled her stomach. Slade was reciting the same exact words that the disembodied voice back in her room had spoken, and, scarier still, Raven instantly recalled a time as a child when a fiery being visited her in a dream…a fiery being who later recited the same exact prophecy. Raven then screamed and cried out in pain as lightning ripped her over exhausted body and the Mark of Scath superimposed itself onto her chakra_. _Then,while moaning with great discomfort and frozen in place by Slade's death grip, Raven could do nothing but feel her body being ravaged by this unwanted contact and eventually Slade released his grip on her. Raven fell to her knees and she noticed right away the additional changes to her person. For one thing she could feel the touch of hair on her back – meaning that somehow during that excruciating event Raven's hair had grow considerably. Raven also noted that her outfit was completely tattered - only her belt and a scant layer of material graciously covered her womanly parts. But perhaps the most noticeable change was that in which virtually every square on her body was now covered in those hideous red markings.

**I can't save your life  
Though nothing I bleed for is more tormenting **

'_Oh…my…god,' _thought Raven in horror, covering herself as if it would help any, but soon dropped her arms to her side when she got an eyeful of the city skyline. Or, rather, what_ remained _of the city skyline. Everywhere that she looked, Raven saw only destruction and death. The twilight sky was now a sully blood red and the few buildings that survived the cataclysm stood out like sore thumbs amongst the ruins of the city. Raven then gazed over at what was once Jump City Bay. Its aquamarine waters now replaced with molten lava. And Titans Tower! The island itself had receded and what remained of the building was in utter disrepair and jutted out of the boiling tide. Raven's eyes then fell to the ground below, and so did her heart. All throughout the streets were stone statues of people – innocent people who had done nothing wrong and were now entombed forever in stone. Raven then exhaled sharply when, much to her dismay, she found four rather unique statutes, statues which belonged to and that were her teammates and friends, each and every one of them with faces of sheer panic and each one of them surrounded by small ghoulish looking creatures looking to drag them down into the lake of fire.

"No!"

"Yes," hissed Slade, walking up behind her. "Look at it. Drink it in. Behold the world you are destined to create."

**I'm losing my mind  
And you just stand there and stare as my world divides**

"No! I won't do it! This is just a vision. This can't be real!"

Slade reached towards Raven and took hold of her upper arms. "This _is_ the future," he breathed mercilessly into her ear. "_Your _future. It began the day you were born, and nothing can stop it. This will come to pass - I will make sure of it. You're going to destroy the world, Raven. It's written all over your face."

"**NOOOOOOOOOO!!" **A massive surge of energy radiated from Raven and as she cried out, Raven felt her body go limp and her soul self escape her very body. The next thing Raven knew, everything had faded away into nothingness and she could barely see or feel anything. Then, Raven felt the slight pressure on her arms lessened and she began to tumble helplessly off of the building. "We'll be in touch," said the now distant voice of Slade. "Oh…and happy birthday…"

* * *

When Raven came to, she found herself in a rather unusual position. She was somewhat able to recall growing faint and she could remember feeling Slade hold her captive. So when Raven opened her eyes to the sight of a smiling Robin, she was confused but she was also greatly relieved to see him. "Let's go home," he whispered, cradling Raven in his arms. He then dug into his utility belt and with the launch of a cable, the two began swinging through the streets of Jump City.

"I don't understand…" murmured Raven dizzily. "How…what…"

"I'm still trying to make sense of it myself. I remember waking up back in the church and when I ran out to see where you and Slade went, I found you two on top of Farley's Labs. I was about to fly up there, but then you suddenly cried out and time started itself again…"

"That can't be. I practically flew all over the city trying to get away from him."

"Well, somehow along the way you made a complete circle and wound up right back here. We're still in the industrial district."

"And the Titans? Are they ok? W…where's Slade?"

"They're survivors, Raven. I'm sure they're ok. And as for Slade, he took off right after he dumped you. Believe me I would've gone after him myself, but for now let's just focus on getting you home and getting you checked out. We'll plan the next step from there."

'_Somehow…I don't think that'll be of much help'_, thought Raven as the two made their way back to the team and to Titans Tower.

**You belong to me - my snow white queen  
There's nowhere to run so let's just get it over  
Soon I know you'll see - you're just like me  
Don't scream anymore my love 'cause all I want is you  
All I want is you  
****All I want is you  
****All I want is you… _(Ever and ever)_  
****Ever and ever…**


	27. Chapter 27: Sweet Sacrifice

**AN # 1: After a rather lengthy hiatus – one for which I must apologize for - I'm finally back and what's better is that Raven: SOML is finally complete! Enjoy the next few chappies ladies and gentlemen, and I hope you really enjoy the conclusion. I've worked hard to come up with something worthwhile. Also please don't forget that if you haven't done so already, please vote in my poll on my profile page to determine which Titan will be up for the next installment in the SOML series. I'll keep the poll open until my b-day (July 24th) and after that, I should have an idea of which Titan's background story to create next. **

**AN # 2: This note is for 'puddin' (who wrote an anonymous review back in chapter 26):**

**1: If you're not familiar with Raven's past, Raven was conceived (albeit by means of rape) as a means for Trigon, her 'father' to be able to return to Earth (he was banished ages ago or something). On her birthday, a messenger of Trigon was to come and deliver the prophecy that the day of reckoning was swiftly approaching and that she would soon have to accept her fate and use her powers to create a portal for Trigon. As for the text in boldface now, Raven: SOML is a songfic and the bold text is lyrics to different songs written and performed by Evanescence, my all-time favorite band. At the conclusion of this fic, I will post a list of all the songs used and which albums they are found on if you or anyone else is interested. And of course, if you want to get a better sense about what's going on in the fic, definitely read the first 10 chapters as well as my second fic ****A Safe Haven****. They serve as an introduction to Raven's birth, Raven's life in Azarath and how/why she came to Earth in the first place.**

**Ok then, on with the fic!**

* * *

CHAPTER 27

It had been nearly four months since Raven's birthday, but the events of that fateful night still remained fresh in her mind and that of the Titans as well. While it was pretty much business as usual for the gang, Robin had once again made it a priority to figure out just what Slade was up to now, and when he wasn't sifting through his case files, he was glued to the Tower's mainframe computer in search for clues. Raven was doing her own personal research too, though it could've be viewed it as pointless, maybe even laughable to even bother doing so. Was it really feasible for her to search for a means to thwart something that has been prophesied for centuries, to stop something so cataclysmic and everlasting? Raven didn't believe it, but one thing was for sure: stranger things had happened since she became a Titan and that if Trigon was successful in returning to Earth, she just couldn't live with the guilt.

No, not again…

"Tick-tock, Raven. Time is running out..." The haunting voice of Slade danced around in her head, and Raven winced at the mental image of an apocalyptic Earth engulfed in lava and flames.

'_It's a lie!'_ she thought. _'I won't let this happen! I'll find a way!'_

"Your optimism is really adorable, but you're forgetting one thing, Raven. This is what you were born to do. You were sent here to destroy the Earth."

"Your destiny will be fulfilled," joined in the voice of Trigon. "The portal must be opened!"

'_It's my destiny. There has to be a way to change it. I __know__ there is!_ _I just need a little help finding it.' _Raven then opened her eyes. There, lying in front of her was the familiar sight of the central city of Azarath, which had somehow inexplicitly returned to its original pristine and glorious state.

"Azarath. My last hope."

"_Our _last hope," came the voice of Intelligence. "Gods willing that we will find someone of use to our cause."

"We had better," quipped the voice of Bravery. "Otherwise Raven here would have ditched her friends for no reason."

"N…not for no reason," said the quiet voice of Timidity. "The Titans found that old lair which once belonged to some followers of Trigon, remember? Seeing all those ancient cryptic writings and the statues that resembled us was unsettling enough, but then when those spirits appeared reciting the prophecy…"

"I know, I know," said Intelligence. "Things were starting to get ugly, and it could have been worse."

"Oh so what, we're condoning cowardly behavior, now?" fumed Bravery.

"No I am not, but at the same time it would have been both an awkward and a rather heavy topic to drop on the team right then and there. This time I believe that it was sensible to retreat and regroup…so to speak. And since our mistress has brought us back to Azarath, surely we can find some survivors that would know what to do next."

'_Exactly,' _thought Raven._ 'I swore back when Azarath was attacked that I would never let something of that magnitude happen to anyone's world again. I swore that my friends would never have to find out who and __what__ I am. And yet at any second, everything that I've strived to keep from coming about is about to devastate the Earth. Surely there is __someone__ here in the city with Heraldic knowledge that would know what to do…'_

But as Raven walked throughout the numerous streets of Azarath, she found them all to be empty and deserted. No vendors, no shoppers, no upperclassmen, no town criers. Nothing. Not one living soul could be seen or heard…

"This place is like a ghost town," commented the voice of Happiness. "I've never seen this place so quiet before."

"Maybe it's a holiday?" questioned the voice of Affection.

"Highly unlikely," reasoned Intelligence. "We may have been gone from Azarath for quite some time, but not long enough for me to forget the important holidays here. No, it's almost like…"

"People are avoiding us?" droned the voice of Sloth. "Yeah, big surprise there."

"Well, it's not like I expected a parade," said Raven while looking at her reflection in a nearby shop window. "But…"

The sudden flight of a single dove stopped Raven's train of thought and instinctively she ran off behind it.

_'If memory serves me right, the doves here always used to congregate up on Azar's Terrace, and even before her passing the only other person they were drawn to was…'_

Raven's eyes followed after the small bird and then widened when the creature went to perch itself on the arm of a very familiar-looking woman. She wore a long white cloak which at first hid her face and but after turning briefly to face Raven, it was noted that she had somber ice-blue eyes and shoulder-length black hair.

"Arella!" cried Raven, taking to the air. As she neared the balcony, Arella was calmly but swiftly making her way back into the tower.

"No, wait!" shouted Raven in a more desperate tone. "I've come back…Mother, please help me…."

"…You always had a home here, my child," replied Arella in an unusually formal and detached tone of voice. "But help we could not give."

"The prophecy…it's happening." Raven then held up one of the books given to her prior to her exodus from Azarath. "You have to tell me how to stop it."

**It's true  
****We're all a little…insane  
****But it's so clear  
****Now that I'm…unchained**

"Nothing could be done. The promise of your birth was absolute."

Raven looked at her mother quizzically. Why was Arella talking like that and better yet why was she of all people acting like she had given up all hope? Something just wasn't adding up, and Raven did not want to accept that, not after all she'd gone through to get there.

"I don't believe you," she said bitterly. "There has to be a way." Raven's face then softened when she remembered who she was talking to and that none of what was happening now was her fault.

**Fear is only in our minds  
Taking over all the time  
Fear is only in our minds  
But it's taking over all the time…**

"I don't want to be this," said Raven feebly, turning her back to her mother. "I don't want to help him. Mother…I'm…afraid."

"You forever had the love of your people, Raven," continued Arella. "Even knowing what you would become, and what that would bring. It was too late for Earth…just as it was too late for Azarath."

The countless doves which had congregated onto the floor of the balcony quickly scattered as if something spooked them and Raven twirled back around to find that Arella had vanished. Much to her horror, the city of Azarath had reverted back to the ruined state that it was in the last time she had seen it: the afternoon sky that was once a warm, inviting golden hue was replaced with a sinister crimson sky; the air reeked of smoke, sulfur and burning flesh and several streets were actually molten lava canals.

"No…"

**You poor sweet innocent thing  
Dry your eyes and testify  
You know you live to break me  
Don't deny, sweet sacrifice  
**

Raven then glanced down at her feet. She had originally believed that she was standing on top of Azar's Tower, but after a highly rude awakening, she now found herself on a half-sunken slag of concrete and high above her and shining brilliantly through the smoggy air was the four-eyed glare of Trigon who chuckled tauntingly.

"No!" screamed Raven, taking into the air once more and flew away.

"Intelligence!" squealed a frightened Timidity. "What happened? Why is Azarath…"

"It was all a façade," murmured the voice of Neurotic. "The place we once called home is gone…long gone. Someone has played a trick on our minds, caused us to see what we wanted to see, to hear what we wanted to hear. I'm afraid to say that we can't take anything we experience here seriously."

"So what?" barked Bravery. "You saying that seeing our mother just now was an illusion or that she was real? And if that was real, was what she said to us truth or fiction?"

"Azar above, does my head hurt," moaned Happiness. "This is too confusing."

"I wish I knew for sure," said Intelligence. "But in any case, I don't think we'll find anything of use to us left here, so let's just get back to Earth. Our friends will probably need us soon."

"Yeah," snipped the voice of Rage. "Unless… they've already uncovered the truth about us because then they're probably looking for a way to kick us off the team."

"Oh shut up…"

As she streaked across the sky, Raven soon spotted several mangled corpses that once were her fellowmen lying about in an area was that probably once a marketplace of some sort. A haunting image from the past then came over Raven and she distinctly recalled when Trigon's initial appearance on Azarath sparked a stampede in the marketplace. Inside of her head, Affection cringed at the sight of the poor lost souls while Happiness and Timidity whimpered.

'_These poor people didn't even know what hit them,'_ Raven thought sadly as she hovered in place over them. _'They never even had a chance to get away…'_

**One day, I'm gonna forget your name  
And one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain  
****Fear is only in our minds  
Taking over all the time  
Fear is only in our minds  
But it's taking over all the time…**

"WITCH!"

_'What the…'_

Raven let out a startled gasp as one of the seemingly lifeless corpse's arms shot out and took hold of her leg. "You did this," it hissed. "You did this to us!"

"Why did you let us die?" shrieked another. Raven gagged at the sight of the body as pieces of rotten flesh crumbled off of its face.

"Traitorous Nephilim!" barked a third.

"Let me go!" shouted Raven who had frantically began thrashing about in midair to break away. "Let go!"

"Devil's seed!" screeched several more undead beings who suddenly appeared and reached out for Raven's legs and cape and she screamed as the weight of her attackers pulled her down into the scuffling mass.

"I don't know about the rest of you," said a panicky Timidity. "But this all feels very real to me! Raven, do something!!!"

**You poor sweet innocent thing  
Dry your eyes and testify  
And oh you love to hate me  
Don't you, honey?  
I'm your sacrifice…**

"Kill her!" screamed several more of the zombies. "Throw her into the lake of fire!"

"Aza…Azarath…" groaned Raven under the great weight and stench of the crowd.

"Yes, burn her!"

"….Metrion…"

"Let her suffer the same fate that we did!"

"ZINTHOS!" Raven's eyes glowed white and a burst of crackling black energy instantaneously threw off all of the clamoring zombie-like beings. 'I've got to get out of here,' she thought as several of the creatures started to pick themselves back up again. 'This is insanity!'

Raven then whisked herself away and back towards the edge of the city. She came to an abrupt stop in the clearing where she teleported into Azarath and quickly prepared herself to recite the spell to return to Earth when out the corner of her eye, Raven spotted something – or rather someone – standing off in the distance. When she turned around (albeit hesitantly) to get a better look, Raven's heart sank. There, standing with charred skin and soulless eyes was what appeared to be Gayla, her nanny, Coman, her tutor, Azar, her beloved mentor, and of course, Arella.

**I dream in darkness  
I sleep to die  
Erase the silence  
Erase my life  
Do you wonder? (Our burning ashes)  
****Why you hate? (Blacken the day)  
Are you still so weak (A world of nothingness)  
****To survive your mistakes? (Blow me away)**

"Moth…Aza…Gayl…" Raven was so overwhelmed by the sight that she could hardly speak.

"How could you?" said Azar, stepping out in front to stand beside Arella. "After everything I've done for you, how could you let this happen?"

"Azar, I'm….I'm so sorry…"

"Sorry?" snapped Coman. "_Sorry?_ I gave up my life to protect you, to protect your mother! 'Sorry' does not and cannot undo the damage you've done. I rue the very day you were born!"

"You…you don't mean that. You _can't_ mean that…"

"Oh, but he can" said Gayla. "This is inexcusable. This is unforgivable."

"I personally wish that I had just killed myself all those years ago," said Arella sadly. "That would've solved the problem in the most absolute form…"

"…Mom…"

"Don't you 'mom' me, you murderer! All of these years I've tried to drown out all of the negative things that people would say about you, about us! And for what, for you to single handedly bring about our destruction?"

"You know I'm not the only one at fault here! Yes, I'm the reason Trigon has come here and yes I am the means by which he will return to Earth, but if you really want to be livid at someone, he's the …"

"It is still…**your**…fault. You knew of the dangers tied to your emotions, and yet you still let you anger get the better of you. You led that demon right to us! You are going to be the death of us all and because of that…you're no daughter of mine! "

"I'm not listening to this! I'm not hearing this!" sobbed Raven, drawing a magic circle into the dirt.

"That's right, run!" screamed Arella. "Get out of here! You're not welcomed here. You were never welcomed here!"

As the undead versions of Raven's beloved ones hurled insult after insult, Raven fought back all the tears and anger threatening to cascade out and struggled to recite the incantation to return to Earth. As the final words escaped her lips, a swirling vortex similar to those that often appeared at the end of the spell materialized and Raven hastily leapt up into the funnel. Moments later, Raven tumbled out of the portal and onto the floor of her darkened bedroom. Still traumatized by all she had seen and heard, Raven remained on the floor for several minutes more, both immobile and speechless.

**You poor sweet innocent thing  
Dry your eyes and testify**

"Raven?" said Affection softly. "Are you…"

"No…talking," she whispered. "…Please."

"Honey, I know you're upset. But you can't give up now."

'…_How can you say that? Did you not hear the same things that I did?'_

"Now you can't really believe all of that, can you?"

'_Why not? It's all true. It's horrible to fathom…but it's the truth.'_ Raven then lifted her head slightly. Lying on her bed was her communicator and it was chirping up a storm.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" asked Sloth. "Normally I wouldn't care less, but that thing's annoying me."

'_What for?' _sighed Raven, slowly rising to her feet and walking over to it. _'I already know who it's from and what it says. It's going to be from Robin, he's going to say that this is urgent, and tha…'_

Raven's thoughts trailed off. Etched onto the screen of her communicator was in fact a message from the Titan leader, but not the message she'd expected or rather wanted to see:

!URGENT!

REPORT BACK TO OLD TOWN LIBRARY IMMEDIATELY

SLADE HAS REAPPEARED AND HAS UPPER HAND

S.O.S.

ROBIN

**  
You know you live to break me  
Don't deny, sweet sacrifice**

Raven's face tightened into a scowl and she slipped her communicator into an unseen pocket in her cape. "Slade," she spat out bitterly. "That bastard's been a thorn in my flesh since Day 1 and if it weren't for him playing messenger-boy for that 'father' of mine, my friends wouldn't be in danger right now!"

With that, Raven summoned her soul-self and quickly set off for the hidden room deep underneath the old town library. She reappeared on the steps leading down into the room where the Titans were last since and took a deep breath, but it did nothing to clear her head or calm her down. If anything, it only seemed to fuel the fire now burning wildly within her.

"Wait a minute, Ra…"

"Silence!" barked Raven. "I'm in no mood to _reason_ right now. All I care about is venting and kicking someone's ass, and as of right now Slade has rightfully earned that privilege!"

Raven returned back into her soul-self and flew into the room below where a fierce battle between the Titans and Slade raged on. Coming to rest on top of a tall pillar, Raven watched as Slade's pyrokinetic powers formed into burning tendrils which snaked out and quickly ensnared the Titans.

"Struggling only makes it worse," said Slade. "And how I hate to see you suffer."He then began to warm up his other hand to deal the Titans their final crushing blow.

"This won't hurt a bit."

"…Wanna bet?!"


	28. Chapter 28: Breathe No More

CHAPTER 28

'Poor' Slade didn't even know what hit him. Seconds after hearing the threatening prompt, a huge piece of stone broadsided the mercenary-turned-messenger and sandwiched him between it and a wall on the other side of the room. With Slade incapacitated, the Titans tumbled freely down onto the floor and Robin - the first to come to his senses - glanced up at his rescuer. There stood Raven high atop of the pillar in a fierce stance, her eyes blazing white, her entire body covered with the same red inscriptions seen on several walls in the underground lair, and a face twisted into such a snarl that would've made even Lord Voldemort feel uneasy. Robin's attention then shot back over to the wall where Slade got planted into as the rock slab exploded into a cloud of debris, and the ever resilient Slade stepped out.

"I told you to leave them out of this!" said Raven, descending from the pillar.

"How sweet," jeered Slade, who then warmed up both hands to attack. "You've come back to save your friends. But you're only delaying their pain…and yours."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" taunted Raven who walked over to him. "Aren't you going to attack? Reduce me to ashes? Or did your _master_ forbid you from hurting me?"

Slade noticeably cringed at the comment but his gaze remained fixed on Raven who now stood right in front of him.

"Did he order you to keep his 'gem' safe?"

"So Raven has the gem?" asked a confused Cyborg to the other Titans.

"No," said Robin, the reality of the matter apparently sinking in. "Raven _is_ the gem." Slade meanwhile cooled down his hands and slowly began to retreat into the floor.

"I'll be sure to give him your regards," he responded coolly, disappearing into the floor. But Raven just was not content with that.

"I'm not finished yet!" she yelled, dropping to her knees and thrusting an enchanted hand right through the ground. Seconds later she dragged a much startled Slade back up into the room.

"This time, _I_ have a message for _you_."

Her eyes turned white and her magic washed over Slade's entire body. When he was completely consumed, Raven proceeded to violently hurl Slade into the ceiling, then onto the floor and then sent him sailing across the room and into yet another wall. Raven then floated pasted her dumbfounded friends and made her way over to Slade.

"You tell him that he'll have to destroy me before I help him!" snarled Raven. Slade simply calmly resurfaced from the plume of dust.

"You can tell him yourself. The hour is near." His solitary eye then practically popped out of his head when he noticed far too late that Raven had summoned a mass of rock even larger than the first she crushed him with to come crashing down from the ceiling. Raven then ripped Slade out from under the rubble and then proceeded to bounce him mercilessly all across the room. Then while he was hovering in midair, Raven (with the clenching of a fist) encased Slade's body in several fragments of stone, furthering hindering him from moving. With her last bit of energy and inner rage, Raven's soul self escaped her body and lunged at Slade causing a massive explosion to rock the place. The smoke eventually settled and Slade stood up from the huge crater caused by Raven's attack, his head twisted into a most uncomfortable and unnatural angle. A few moments later (and once he was able to get his bearings), Slade snapped his neck back into place and Raven hovered over to him.

"I'm not afraid of you anymore!" she declared.

"You might not fear me," noted Slade. "…But look who's afraid of _you_."

Raven glanced over her shoulder. Standing behind her was her teammates and the looks on their faces said it all. The room fell deafly silent, no one daring to make any movements and no one knew just what to say next.

"Raven?" asked Beast Boy, finally breaking the silent stalemate. Raven sadly turned away from the group and when she looked over at the wall where Slade crashed into, she noted that he had disappeared yet again.

"Raven," said Robin, stepping up into the foreground of the group. "…What's going on?"

"…Something that…that I've been trying to prevent since the day I first came to Earth," said Raven solemnly. "And I'll explain everything once we get back to the Tower, but for now…I just need a moment to myself. I'll meet you guys in the common area."

Starfire and Beast Boy looked on with concern while Cyborg still looked a little nervous just being in the same room with her. After another uneasy moment of silence, Robin nodded his head.

"We'll uh…see you then," he stated and then motioned for the Titans to follow his lead, leaving a stoic Raven in the darkness.

"Well, _that _went well," commented Bravery, once they were alone. "But rather than have me scold you for not being proactive about this in the first place, at least you're manning up and planning on telling them tonight. That's my main thing."

"But how are you going to break the news to them?" questioned Timidity. "This isn't the easiest of topics to discuss."

'_I'll just have to tell them…__everything__. About the prophecy, who I am, what I'm destined to do. I called myself protecting the Titans by keeping all of this secret, but in the end it just did more harm than good. Slade could've killed them today and all because he was trying to get to me.'_

"I'm detecting a strong sense of déjà vu here," said Sloth languidly.

"You know?" retorted Happiness, her usual grin being noticeably absent.

'…_I…I really have no choice at this point. I'm just going to walk in there and…just lay it all out on the table. I owe them that much…especially since that's all I can do – warn them. I can give them the chance to live each day like it's their last – because that just might be the case…' _

* * *

A short time later, Raven teleported herself back to Titans Tower Island. She thought about just phasing right into the common area, but thought twice about it after reasoning that the Titans had been 'frightened' enough for one night. She entered through the Tower's front door and begrudgingly pressed the call button for the nearest elevator that would lead right into the common area. Shortly afterwards the elevator doors opened and Raven stepped in.

"Let's do this," she quipped unenthusiastically to herself as the elevator doors closed and rode up in silence for the next nine flights.

The elevator chimed when it reached the top floor and Raven cautiously stepped out into the common area, where the other Titans waited for her patiently. Robin stood by one of the large windows overlooking the bay while Starfire and Beast Boy stood near the couch, and Cyborg was found leaning up against one of the kitchen counters.

"Felicitations, friend Raven," said Starfire, who smiled lightly. "How are you feeling?"

"I've…been worse," said Raven slowly making her way over to the couch. "But as of late, my conscience has been keeping up many a night, and after what almost happened tonight, I really own you guys an explanation. An explanation as to how Slade got his powers and why it has to do with me. And for me to do that, I would have to explain about events that happened even before my birth."

Each of the Titans exchanged looks with one another, and as usual, it was Robin to encourage the admission.

"If you want to, Raven."

Raven nodded slowly and took a deep breath. "As most of you already know," she started, closing her eyes as if to visualize every word she spoke. "I was born in a place called Azarath, but my mother, Arella, was originally from Earth. However when she became pregnant with me, she learned that it was not safe for the two of us, especially with the knowledge that a sinister secret society had the desire to unleash a demonic being who would later overtake Earth and all life as we know it. This secret society was known as the Church of Blood."

"Blood?" asked Cyborg, his human eye slightly twitching. "As in Brother Blood? The nutjob that stole _my _blueprints and tried to brainwash the Titans East – _that Brother Blood_!?"

"Yes…but it's not what you think. You see some of the founding members of the Church of Blood were in fact Brother Blood's ancestors – paternal great-grandparents to be exact – and with each passing generation, the descendant was to take over his father's duties. But the Brother Blood we've come to know is a power-hungry glory hound, and he had made it clear that if anything, _he _is going to be the one to take over Earth, not someone else."

"So it's safe to say that he's no longer affiliated with the cult," commented Robin.

"Exactly. The very reason why I never mentioned anything when we went up against him. Besides, Brother Blood's nothing compared to what we're up against now."

"Why does hearing that bother me?" said Beast Boy, taking a seat beside Raven.

"Because for hundred of years, the members of the Church of Blood devoted their whole lives in support of all things evil. They studied dark magic, practiced human sacrifice, and they constantly sought the means to revive Scath, an otherworldly monster that they worshipped with an insatiable appetite for violence and destruction. And this ancient order used the name 'Scath' to protect the true identity of their master. We all know him…as Trigon…"

Cyborg winced upon hearing the name. "Are you serious? _That's_ who we're up against? Oh, man!"

"His cruelty is legendary," said Starfire sadly. "Even on my world."

"So, what makes you go all glowy in the dark?" asked Beast Boy.

"It's a warning. It means Trigon is coming, and the way he gets here is through me. I'm not just a person - I'm a portal."

"But, Raven, why you?" asked Robin, taking a seat beside her.

Raven paused briefly, for she knew how much the next five words out of her mouth would change how the Titans viewed her…possibly for forever.

"Because…Trigon…is my father...

**I've been looking in the mirror for so long  
****That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side**

"Bad things are going to happen soon. _Really_ bad things..." She then rose from the couch and walked over to gaze out of the window but instead, Raven found herself looking back at her own gloomy reflection in the glass.

**All the little pieces falling shatter  
Shards of me too sharp to put back together**

"…And it's going to be my fault."

**Too small to matter  
****But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces  
****If I try to touch her**

"I thought I could handle this alone. I tried…but…I was wrong."

**And I bleed…  
I bleed…  
And I breathe…  
I breathe no more**

Raven glanced over her shoulder when she felt the gentle touch of someone's hand. "For confiding in us, we are most humbled," stated Starfire.

"And I only have one question," said Cyborg as he and Robin walked over to join the pair. Beast Boy was not too far behind.

"How do we stop him?"

"We don't," Raven answered bluntly.

"But that doesn't mean we still can't try," said Beast Boy, who was back in an optimistic mood. He walked up alongside of her and placed a comforting hand of her shoulder.

"We just have to take it one day at a time, right?"

Raven pursed her lips slightly, her eyes gazing at the comforting glow of the rising morning sun. She then broke away from the group (who looked at her with both concern and compassion) and began to make her way towards the exit.

"It's been a long day. I'm going to turn in for the night - or morning rather."

"Sure thing," said Robin. "'Night, Raven." The other Titans bid Raven with pleasant dreams and the troubled teen exited the room.

**

* * *

**

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well  
Yet again, you refuse to drink like a stubborn child

The next two months were probably the hardest that Raven had ever experienced. True, nothing had really changed in regards to the crime rate in Jump City, but Raven couldn't help but feel like the Titans seemed to be avoiding her. Cyborg hardly ever hung out down in the garage anymore, and Beast Boy and Starfire barely bothered Raven with their whimiscal requests to go shopping or play games with them. And forget about Robin. It was a feat getting him to abandon his post whenever Slade would resurface, but with the impending threat of Trigon's return looming over them, Robin would essentially 'pull a Raven' and for days at a time, hole himself up in both the Tower's library and the evidence room. _'I never realized how deafening the silence can be,'_ thought Raven one day as she walked into an empty common area for (what felt like to her anyway) the umpteenth time. _'I can't believe that I actually miss all the noise and craziness around the Tower, but anything's better than feeling like the Titans can't bear to be in the same room as me. Then again, I guess this is how it's going to be from now on…' _

Raven then sighed deeply, and she went on to do what she came upstairs for. She brewed herself a fresh pot of her favorite herbal tea and made herself a tiny fruit salad to snack on. Once everything was ready, Raven made her way out of the kitchen and out of the common area…

"Oh hey, Raven!" cheered Cyborg, and Raven floated backwards to avoid crashing into him. Cyborg then walked into the common area, only to be followed by Beast Boy, cradling an assortment of video games.

"Hey, Raven," said Beast Boy, walking over to the coffee table and setting down his stash.

"Hey guys," said Raven with a slight lithe in her voice. She was doing all she could to be friendly and not inadvertently scare off the others. "Haven't really seen you guys around much lately. You've…been keeping busy?"_**  
**_**  
**

"Busy?"

"Just that it's been awhile since the five of us have hung out together, you know outside of crimefighting?"

"Yeah. I've been fooling around with some new tech, and Robin's holed himself off somewhere in the Tower as usual. Can't really say what Starfire's been up to though."

"I think she said something about doing some shopping for Silkie" answered Beast Boy. He was getting himself rather tangled up in the wires to the gaming console and controllers. "Hey, do you want to play a round or two with us, Raven?"

Raven's face remained blank, but inside she was somewhat ecstatic for the invite. At least some of the team members still treated her like a human being. But another part of her was feeling more insecure than ever. Cyborg _was_ naturally sociable, and Beast Boy had his moments when he was considerate of others, but was this invite being given out of pity or did the bionic young adult and changeling really want her to join them?

"I think I'll watch for a bit," replied Raven, leaning up against the back of the couch. The boys smiled and Cyborg groaned once he saw the mess Beast Boy was making with the cords. He went over to free him and after a few brief minutes, the boys were playing their favorite racing game. Several rounds later, Raven had finished her snack and after washing her dishes, she left the common area to go about her day. Halfway down the hall, she heard the sound of the doors to the common area sliding open.

"Hey Raven, wait up!" Raven stopped and shot a tired glance over her shoulder at her addresser.

"Yeah?"

"Um…" Beast Boy twiddled his thumbs nervously and he looked down at the floor. "You don't have to leave. If you want, we could just watch something. We don't _have_ to play video games."

**Lie to me, convince me that I've been sick forever  
And all of this will make sense when I get better **

Raven sighed. "I know, and thanks. But I kind of want to be alone right now." She started to walk away again but felt the tug of someone clinging to her robe.

"What are you doing?" she stated tartly. Beast Boy gulped, obviously wishing that he'd thought this through.

"Look," he said in a stern tone of voice. "I know you're feeling a bit bummed out over Slade and Trigon and all of this doom and gloom hovering over you. But you can't let this get you down, Raven."

Raven frowned slightly. "You _can't _alter a prophecy, there's _no_ chance of surviving this thing, and while I'm hurt that you guys have been avoiding me, at the same time I shouldn't be complaining. Given what am I and what I'm destined to do, no one should be worried over my well being or how I feel."

"…Been avoidi....How can you say that?! We're still your friends, Raven and you are still a living, breathing and feeling person. You can't help who your parents were – none of us can! And I know what it's like to know or even simply think that in one way or another you were responsible for other people's deaths. How do you think Robin feels about his, or Starfire, or Cyborg, or…me?!"

Raven looked on at the spectacle before her. Never before had she seen Beast Boy get so emotionally worked over something before. "So you're telling me that none of you feel just even a little bit uncomfortable around me these days and that you're hiding something from me? Don't forget that you live with an empath and a mind reader."

"We have not been _avoiding _you, Raven. We've…just been working on something that was supposed to be a present for you. We've only been keeping it under wraps until it's finished, and Robin and Cyborg both threatened me if I spoiled the surprise. They'll probably get me just for spilling the beans right now so…that's all I can say about it. Honest."

**But I know the difference between myself and my reflection  
I just can't help but to wonder  
Which of us do you love?**

Raven's puzzled face was now riddled with surprise and embarrassment, a slight blush creeping onto her cheeks. "You guys are…making me a present?"

"Why does that seem so strange to you? We're your friends, and friends do nice things for each other. We all care about you... I…care about you."

"…Maybe so," she started, breaking away from him. "But you…and the Titans care about someone who had been keeping secrets from you since we first met, someone who's been living under false pretenses. Can you also say that you're in love with the real me – the monster, the demon, the bringer of the apocalypse?"

**So I bleed…  
I bleed…  
And I breathe…  
I breathe no-  
****Bleed…  
I bleed…  
****And I breathe…  
I breathe…**

"…I…"

Raven raised a hand to cut him off. "Please, just stop. Just…stop."

"…Raven…"

"No, Beast Boy." Beast Boy then looked on sadly as Raven then turned on her heel and continued on down the hall. "Fine!" he hollered bitterly just before she disappeared out of sight. "Be that way! See if I care!"

'_He just doesn't understand,'_ thought Raven, hurriedly racing down the stairs. _'He'll never understand. And I don't want to hear a word out of any of you..._'

After a session of mediation to help soothe her nerves and tired mind, Raven was ready to turn in for the night. and she decided to conclude her day with a session. Gazing out of her bedroom window, Raven saw the receding sun, the city skyline and its shimmering image reflecting magnificently in the waters of the bay. Raven then looked out pass the city limits and out to where the Pacific Ocean met Jump City Bay. There, and even though the city lights hid many from view, Raven could see several bright stars up in the heavens. She smiled lightly at the awe-inspiring sight and began to unclasp her robe and kick off her boots. Slinging her robe over a nearby chair, Raven lifted up the candleholder from off her nightstand and blew out the candle. She then climbed into bed and promptly fell in a much needed deep sleep…

The twilight hours came and went, and with the rising of the sun came the prospect of a start of a brand new day. As the early morning light crept into Raven's room, a calm expression could be seen etched onto her face. But as soon as the sunlight washed over Raven's sleeping form, the horrible glowing red runes quickly began to appear all over her body. Raven – sensing the change - suddenly threw the covers off of her and looked down at her body in shock.

"No…" she breathed anxiously. _'Please don't tell me that day's the…' _

Raven then glanced over at the desk calendar on her other nightstand and lowered her head in defeat.

'_Just my luck…'_

**I breathe… **  
**I breathe...no…more…**


	29. Chapter 29: Cloud Nine Lies

CHAPTER 29

**June 6, 2006  
****6:06 a.m. **

Even though the morning sun was rising over the horizon, Raven found her mood steadily tanking. "This cannot be happening…" she whispered to herself. She then looked down at the hideous crimson markings glowing steadily on her person.

"You're not serious, right?" scoffed the voice of Rage. "It's been a long time coming, but the big day is finally here, kiddo."

Raven let out a frustrated groan and slammed her fists down onto the bed. "The final grains of sand are now falling from the hourglass," stated the voice of Intelligence. "And by nightfall, it'll be too late. By my calculations, we have roughly fifteen hours before that happens…What do you plan for us to do, Raven? We're all on standby for your orders."

Raven sighed and rubbed her temples. _'There is no plan, Intelligence. Trigon is coming, and there's no way to stop him or the destruction of Earth. We've lost.'_

"I don't believe this!" said the voice of Bravery. "You're just throwing in the towel? Just like that? If you got to go, go out with a bang. At least _make _a last effort to keep this from happening, you know? Don't go and hide in a corner and just wait for death to come to you."

"W…wait a minute…" sputtered the voice of Timidity. "Death?"

"You mean you didn't know?" smirked Rage. "Once we've fulfilled our only purpose in life, we disappear into nothingness. Today's not only the last day for mankind, wet blanket, but for us as well."

Timidity immediately burst into tears. Affection rushed over to console the gentle emotion, while the majority of the others simply glared at Rage.

"I swear on the graves of Azar and our mother, Rage," started Bravery. "You are such a…"

"Guys please," moaned the voice of Sloth. "It's our last day. For a going away present, can I at least not listen to you all act so catty and whiny and…PMSy until sunset?"

"…PMSy is not even a word…"

"…Shut up, Bookworm…"

Raven's eyes lit up at hearing this. _'Actually…that's not a bad idea.'_

The other emotions stopped quarreling and turned their attention back to Raven.

"What's not a bad idea?"

'_What Sloth said. It's our last day, so why don't we spend it being civil towards the others and…having fun?'_

The others looked on with blank faces. Happiness and Affection however were elated by the suggestion. "What a great idea," beamed the pink cloaked emotion, floating in the air. "We could pig out on our favorite foods and see all the new flicks at the movies and maybe go to a spa! I always wanted to go to a spa. Then we could…"

"I take it that some of what Beast Boy said to you yesterday has also influenced this decision?" questioned Affection softly. Happiness was still rambling on about things to do for the day. Raven simply gave Affection a soft nod.

'_The Titans are…were my best friends. My __only__ friends. I owe it to them to make today a day they'll never forget. Anything they want to do, anywhere that they want to go, I'll do it…'_

**6:16 a.m. **

Standing up on the roof of Titans' Tower, Raven gazed out at Jump City Bay. It was mind boggling to her that the first sight that met her eyes this morning could ruin the complacence she had enjoyed just a few hours ago, and her mind was a quagmire of questions. Why did this have to happen? Why did this have to happen to _her_? What would become of her once she died and what about the Titans? Raven's somber eyes then glanced down at her forearms, the ominous markings warning of Trigon's return still glowing red hot…

"What are you doing up so early?"

The sound of Robin coming up from behind startled Raven, and she promptly concealed both arms under her robe. Luckily for her, those were the only parts of her body that still had the marks present.

"I could ask you the same thing," she said, lowering her head.

"I love sunrise. The promise of a new day…anything's possible."

Raven glanced over at her fellow Titan, who smiled lightly as he took in the sunrise and the view of the bay. It had been a while since the two have been together first thing in the morning and in a way, Raven forgot how much of a morning person he was. "You always so cheery this early?" she questioned, making eye contact for the first time since he walked up alongside of her.

"Pretty much. Looks like it's going to be a beautiful day."

"Yeah." A slight smile slowly crept on onto her face. "Hungry?"

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

"…I was…kind of thinking that maybe I'd treated the team to breakfast this morning."

"…Really?"

"Sure. Why not? I…sort of had a little disagreement with Beast Boy yesterday, but some of what he said made me think. You guys know that I value our friendship, but I never really have done anything to_ show _how much I value you. So…I figure I'd made a nice homemade breakfast for you."

"Oh. Well, thanks. That…sound's good. What are you making, or is that a surprise?"

Raven's face went blank. This was the very reason why she seldom did things at the spur of a moment: unless it was battle or magic-related, she was never good at improvisation or creativity of any sort.

"Nothing fancy, since I'm not in the kitchen all that much," she finally answered. "…Does pancakes sound good?"

"…Sure does."

"Great. I have everything ready by the time the others are awake…"

**10:28 a.m. **

'_Uh oh' _thought Raven to herself. She stood at the kitchen stovetop and before her were five bubbling puddles of what were supposed to be pancakes, golden brown and fluffy pancakes. Well these_ things _were brown – brown and black - but Raven knew that something went horribly wrong somewhere. Raven then glanced over at a scrapbook that belonged to Starfire. It was only filled with simple and 'human' recipes (especially since there had been a few incidents where the others have accidently and disastrously used one of Starfire's _other _books of cuisine) and Raven had reasoned that if Starfire of all people could make the food from in here, why couldn't she? A bead of sweat suddenly appeared when Raven heard the sound of the doors leading into the common area open and Robin walked over to investigate.

"You…used your own recipe…" he asked unsurely.

"You could say that," answered Raven in the exact same tone of voice. "First batch is…almost done."

"Great. I got the plates and syrup."

'_Great…'_ thought Raven, now regretting this hospitable decision to make breakfast. IHOP was really starting to look good right about now. She then picked up her spatula and with some considerable effort picked up one...pancake-thingy. Flipping it over her shoulder, Raven grimaced and hoped for the best. She then heard the doors opening for a second time and the other Titans entered the room.

"Nice flip," said Robin. Raven breathed a small sigh of relief and continued to flip pancakes onto a serving dish.

"Morning," she smiled, walking over the dish of monstrosity to the others. "Pancakes?"

"Uh…thanks?" said Beast Boy, staring at the plate.

"What is the occasion?" asked Starfire.

"…Can't I just do something nice for my friends?"

" Um…yeah, but…" started Cyborg.

"…You never have before," finished Beast Boy. Raven just glared at him.

"Guess there's a first time for everything," he chuckled nervously and the Titans filled their plates and began to feast…

Or at least they tried to. Barely seconds after taking the first bite, Cyborg fainted while Beast Boy and Robin ducked away from the table to 'dispose' of their mouthfuls. Seeing this, Raven immediately turned away in embarrassment.

'_Dear Azarath above, why didn't I just take them all to IHOP?'_

"Don't you think it's nice of Raven to make us breakfast?" said Robin, trying his best to be polite. Cyborg meanwhile rose from the floor, grabbed a bottle of syrup and proceeded to drown his food with it.

"Even though the girl has no clue how to cook."

A small grunt indicated to a disheartened Raven that someone elbowed him. "Oops, did I say that out loud?" he replied nervously. _"_Yum!" Starfire however seemed to be the only one to have taken quite a shine to this new spin on a classic favorite. "Burnt on the outside," she stated, pouring on mustard. "Yet runny on the inside. Just like the incinerated glorka roaches of my home world. More, please!"

The others eagerly gave up their portions and Starfire smiled. "What a glorious way to start the day!" Raven then turned back to face the others. Starfire happily ate the Titans' servings of pancakes while the boys were playing around with the syrup bottle (Cyborg pouring syrup into Beast Boy's mouth while Robin cheered him on). She then banged her fist onto the counter to get her teammates' attention.

"So, I was thinking," Raven started in an unusually casual-like manner. "After breakfast, you guys wanna, maybe, you know, hang out or something?"

She then forced a huge smile onto her face and the others look on in bewilderment. Nonetheless, before anyone could respond, Robin's communicator started chirping.

"It'll have to wait," he replied after analyzing the distress report and he and the Titans tore out of the common area…

"Can't crime take a day off for once?" complained Sloth.

"Oh come off it, Sloth," said Intelligence as Raven started off after the others. "Pray that it's not anything serious."

'…_You and me both…'_

**1:42 p.m. **

**Oh oh oh oh…  
Oh oh oh oh…  
****If you want to live, let live  
If you want to go, let go  
I'm not afraid to dream, to sleep, sleep forever  
**

Fortunately for Raven, it really wasn't anything too serious. Plasmus had broken out of prison yet again, and the Teen Titans were called into Eastern Jump City to defeat him. After the foul monster was quickly put to rest, the Titans set out for a filling (and edible) lunch at their favorite hangout: Ciro's Pizzeria. Then from the pizzeria, the Titans set out for a walk in the park since Starfire had asked to do so earlier in the day.

"Let us take the scenic route!" smiled Starfire. "The climate today is most pleasant and the view should be glorious."

Raven shrugged and started up one of the parks more secluded trails and the other Titans followed suit. As they took in the sights and walked along in relative silence, Raven's mind was once again in overdrive…

'_It's almost 2 o'clock – only six and a half more hours until it's all over. There's just enough time to fill everyone's requests but I've got to stay on guard for anything even remotely suspicious...'_

"DUDE!!"

Raven's eyes narrow to points at the sound of Beast Boy's cry, and she wheeled around with a raised hand, ready to take on the person dumb enough to try and ambush the Teen Titans. "Find a penny," said Beast Boy, bending over to pick it up. "Pick it up…uh…something, something, something…good luck. It's my lucky day!"

Raven sighed and relaxed her guard, actually relieved that it was only a stupid penny that got the changeling so excited.

"Is anyone up for a game of Extreme Stankball?" asked Cyborg.

"…Yeah, sure," said Raven, continuing down the path. _'After all what harm could it do me now?'_

"But you hate anything extreme," said a dumbfounded Beast Boy "Or stanky."

"…Maybe I never gave it a chance."

"Raven," called Starfire, approaching her. "Would you still have time to join me in the painting of the toenails later today?"

"…Sounds like fun," replied Raven with a faint smile. "Okay, Raven, what gives?" said Robin, who was clearly suspicious of her drastic change in demeanor. "Pancakes? Pizza? Stankball? _Toenails_?"

" Yeah!" Beast Boy agreed. "And she hasn't called me stupid all day. Did someone replace Raven with a Raven robot?"

**I don't need to touch the sky  
I just want to feel that high  
And you refuse to lift me**

Raven in responded floated away and turned her back to the group. "I just want everyone to have a nice day today. Come on. We have a lot to do before sunset."

No sooner had the words left her mouth, the afternoon sun and sky suddenly began to darken. Raven looked up in horror at the spectacle, for nothing, not the moon or some other celestial object was guilty for the eclipse. No, it was something far more sinister and close to home…

'_No! I still had six hours! It's too soon! It can't!'_

**Guess it wasn't real after all  
Guess it wasn't real all along (And now I know)**

As if to add further insult to injury, Raven was instantly filled with an unnatural and powerful force, a feeling very similar to that which signaled the reappearance of the red Marks of Scath.

'_No! NO!'_

Raven fought to prevent the darkness from overtaking her, and for her troubled yet vain efforts, she was jerked back and forth, almost as if she was experiencing an epileptic fit. "What's going on?" cried Beast Boy as he and the others looked on in shock as the red marks they had once seen in the ancient town library slowly began to cover Raven's arms, body and forehead. Then – apparently overwhelmed by the stress of matters and the dark magic - Raven fainted.

**If I fall and all is lost  
It's where I belong**

"Raven!" shouted Robin and he and the others raced over to the fallen Titan. Knelling beside her, Robin sat Raven up partially and the others looked on worriedly. Raven's violet eyes soon came into focus and Beast Boy knelled down beside Robin.

"Why didn't you tell us?" asked Robin. "It's happening, isn't it?"

"Please, Raven," said Starfire. "Today is the day? It is…"

" …The end of the world," Raven answered somberly. She then squeezed her eyes shut but the tears still poured forth. "It's finally come…"

"Easy Raven," said Cyborg, walking over and taking Raven into his arms. "Just take it easy. We've got your back."

"But…"

"Titans, we need to return to the Tower," said Robin, rising off from the ground. "ASAP."

The others nodded and Starfire took Robin's hand and lifted him into the air. Meanwhile Beast Boy rose off of the ground and turned to Raven. "It looks like it's time for your present," he said.

Raven just looked at him. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"You'll see," replied Beast Boy, who promptly turned into a pterodactyl. He then took to the air, grabbed Cyborg by the shoulders and Raven hung on tight as the Titans raced back to Titans' Tower…

* * *

**2:47 p.m. **

"Okay, everyone. Just as we planned." Robin led the team through a maze of corridors series and high security doors in an infrequently traveled level in Titans' Tower.

"Where are you taking me?" questioned Raven, looking around in confusion. Not even she knew this part of the Tower.

"You said there was nothing we could do," answered Robin. "We didn't agree, so we've been preparing for this day."

At this, Beast Boy shot a glance and a small smile over at Raven, who being still in the dark on matters, had a puzzled look on her face. The team soon reached one last door and Robin placed his hand on the the door's palm reader. The door quickly unlocked and Raven's eyes widened at the sight inside. It was a rather sizeable room – no doubt a safety or 'panic' room of some sort- with walls lined in blue circuit boards and a luminescent floor. Also decorating the walls were some small magic symbols.

**If you want to live, let live  
If you want to go, let go  
I'm never gonna be your sweet, sweet surrender**

"You did all this for _me_?"

"We're ready to take on Trigon," said Robin courageously.

"No. You can't be. Just go. Save yourselves."

"We're not giving up. Neither are you. Our plan is simple. Raven, you are the portal. Trigon needs you to take over the Earth."

"But if Trigon can't get to the portal," said Cyborg. "… Then he can't take over."

"So all we must do is keep the Trigon from getting to Raven," deduced Starfire. Raven just sighed.

"You _can't_."

"We _will_." The Titans then entered the panic room and Cyborg set Raven down on her feet. "You'll be safe in here," he assured. "Everything's ready. I've installed all the latest state-of-the-art technology. Nothing alive is getting in here.

"And these symbols should keep out everything else," commented Starfire. "We took them out of your books."

"Just in case you need some extra mojo," finished Beast Boy.

"This is all great, but it's _not_ going to make a difference," said Raven wearily. She then turned away from the others. "Today the prophecy will be fulfilled. Trigon is coming. There's no stopping him."

"There's never been a villain we couldn't stop before," said a confident Robin.

"Trigon isn't a villain. He is the incarnation of evil, the source of all darkness. The…"

"Okay…'bad dude'," said Beast Boy. "We get it."

"No. You don't. You don't know Trigon."

"And Trigon doesn't know the Titans," reassured Robin. "Stay in here. We'll be watching from up there if you need us."

Raven looked up to see a broad observation window and she sadly watched as the Titans filed out of the room. Then just before he passed through the door, Beast Boy circled back and caught hold of her arm. "For luck," he smiled, placing something into her hand and he ran out. Raven then opened her hand to find the penny he had found earlier in the park.

"All the luck in the world won't help us now…"

**3:44 p.m. **

Raven hovered a few feet off of the ground, deep in a meditative stance. Even though her eyes were closed, she could feel the stares of her teammates who now sat high above her in the observation room. The whole concept of a panic room and rallying up against Trigon seemed so lost on her. Why couldn't they just take the little time they had left and escape? There were other planets and even other dimensions that could've offered sanctuary. Then again, how long would it be before Trigon's sphere of influence reached there as well?

"I must say that I admire the Titans' approach on matters," said Intelligence, as she and the other emotions stood about in Quiescence. "Most people in their shoes would've bailed out the second they found out about all this. Who knew that they had been building this room or that they were able to pull this off in such a short span of time? And the research and thought put into the smallest details."

"It's all pointless though," said the voice of Neurotic, and Bravery turned up her nose.

'_She's right, you know,' _thought Raven._ 'They can't stop him. Nothing can stop him...' _Raven's thoughts then focused in on the penny she now cradled in the palm of her hand.

'_But… they're willing to risk everything for me. If anyone could stop Trigon, maybe __the__y could.'_

"You know better than to fill your head with fanciful ideas."

Raven's eyes popped open. _'You aren't here,'_ she thought, closing her hand over the penny as if to extract some of its hidden good luck. _'You __can't__ be.'_

"I am always with you. You are part of me…forever."

"Get out!"

Raven's eyes widened with fear as the panic room was transformed into an underground cavern and Raven found herself hovered over a small slab of stone amidst a sea of flames. She could also feel two pairs of burning red eyes watching her from behind...

"Oh, no," mouthed Affection and many of the other emotions cowered at the sight of this evil illusion.

"There is no stopping what is about to happen," boomed Trigon. This is the reason I sired you. You were born so I could rule the Earth."

"What if I don't let you?" inquired Raven, whirling around to face him. Bravery nodded in agreed and egged her on. "What if I don't become the portal?"

"It is not your place to tell me what to do!" barked Trigon. He then summoned a massive ball of fire - probably in hopes of crushing his insubordinate progeny's own inner fire – and caused it to swell up and engulf the cavern.

"_I_ am the one with all the power! _I_ am the one who decides your destiny! You do not have a choice!"

In response to this, Raven hurled a wide channel of her black energy towards Trigon's disembodied eyes. The moment the two powers made contact, Trigon's two pairs of eyes disappeared but his towering silhouette now appeared in its place. "Azar, above," responded Bravery, whose voice now seemed surprisingly weak and small.

"You will _always_ be Daddy's little girl…"

"I am _nothing_ like you!" said an indignant Raven. Suddenly as if to spite her, Raven's eyes turned red and a second pair of eyes came forth. Gasping out in both shock and dread, Raven took off into the air and landed several yards away from Trigon. "No! Don't let him take over, Raven!" cried Intelligence. Bravery meanwhile had gone over to join the other emotions and Rage was transfixed by everything happening.

"You wanted to protect your friends," boomed Trigon as he approached Raven, his thundering footsteps reverberating throughout the cavern. "Keep them from knowing. But you cannot deny the evil within you. You will bring destruction to everything and everyone."

**Guess it wasn't real after all  
Guess it wasn't real all along (And now I know)**

Trigon eventually came to a stop and looked down at a disheartened Raven. "Like father, like daughter."

"No!" cried Raven, lifting her head feebly.

"You cannot hide from your destiny."

Raven leapt up from her crouching position and levitated until she reached a higher ledge in the cavern. "Why are you doing this?" she lamented. "Why does everything have to be this way?"

Trigon frowned upon hearing this. "Because…of mankind, those sniveling little worms that you seek to protect. Some had dubbed themselves as the children of God, but for centuries the majority of mankind have associated themselves with our kind, those ousted from Heaven. The humans sought our immense power, and it is because of this drive that all forms of magic came into existence. Then after fervently worshipping us, they betrayed us and used the magic and powers that _we_ taught and blessed them with to banish me and my kind from Earth! Mankind is a traitorous and disgusting race, child, and I have used everything at my disposal to see to it that they are obliterated from existence for their treachery. "

"What do you have to gain if there is no one left on Earth to serve you?"

"Plenty. Earth will be a fitting example to all the rest of creation of what can and will happen to those who try to cross me. And you _do not_ want to cross me, Raven. It'll just make the rest of what is left of your time here all the more painful. Just look at your mother's example…"

Raven looked up with tears welling in her eyes, the vivid memory of seeing her mother bleed out on the floor from her mortal wounds suddenly fresh in her mind. "Those that do not learn from history, are doomed to repeat it, and this, Raven is the absolute truth. I am unstoppable. Nothing can hurt me. Nothing can break me. You are nothing without me and your friends…"

Trigon waved his hand and a faint image of the events outside the room could be seen. Raven looked on worriedly as the Titans, who now stood outside of the Tower valiantly tried to fend off Slade and the myriads of fire-beings that now served him. "…Your friends cannot stop the inevitable. They are doomed." He then reached down and scooped Raven up into his clawed hand.

**If I fall and all is lost  
No light to lead the way (**_**Never thought that it would end this way**_**)  
Remember that all alone is where I belong**

"Do you really want their last day to end like this? How can you bear to watch them suffer?"

"Don't hurt them," said Raven sadly, lowering her head.

"I am not the one hurting them. You are. You know what must be done. "

"But, Father…I don't want to…"

"You cannot hide from your destiny," said Trigon, lowering Raven to the ground. His hand then curled into a fist and Raven gasped. When she opened her eyes, Raven found herself lying on her stomach on the floor of the panic room. As she struggled to catch her breath, Raven's eyes – which had returned back to normal – were heavy with tears. After several moments of lying on the ice-cold floor, Raven dragged herself up and sighed deeply.

"I don't want to see you suffer…" she said softly, and with that phased out of the panic room. When she resurfaced in the Tower's lobby, Raven geared herself for what was to be an emotional scene and threw open the entrance door. Outside, the Titans were seized by Slade's fire-beings and Slade had a hand ignited and ready to strike Robin dead.

"STOP!"

The flames encompassing Slade's hand extinguished and the fire-beings released the Titans. All eyes were drawn to Raven as she floated towards Slade, the demons parting like a burning red sea to grant her access. She soon reached Slade, landed with an air of grace and opened her somber eyes.

"I will go with you."

**In a dream  
Will you give your love to me?  
****Beg my broken heart to beat  
Save my life, change my mind**

"We won't let them take you!" said Robin, jumping in between Raven and Slade.

"You need to get back in the safety room!" agreed Starfire. "Please!"

"I can't hide from my destiny any longer."

"No!" cried Beast Boy.

**If I fall and all is lost  
No light to lead the way (Never thought that it would end this way)**

Suddenly and without warning, Raven twirled around to face her friends. With a crackling hand of black magic, Raven caught hold of the Titans, who screamed from pain as what appeared to be black lightning attacked their bodies and once they were rendered unconscious, Raven lowered them to the ground.

**  
Remember that all alone is where I belong**

**  
**"Goodbye," she said remorsefully. "Be safe." She then turned back to Slade.

"Let's go."

**Oh oh oh oh…  
****Oh oh oh oh…**

* * *

**6:09 p.m. **

As the unholy precession made its way towards the old town library, a sense of terror and uncertainty overwhelmed the city. Many denizens had fled when the sky first fell under twilight and for the few that did remain in the city, the sight of fire-like creatures roaming the streets did nothing to quell their already spiking fear. Raven did her best not to make eye contact with anyone (which was pretty easy since everyone they encountered ran in the opposite direction) and it wasn't long until the party reached the library. They proceeded into the building and down the spiraling staircase towards the innermost chamber.

**Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear  
Sealed with lies through so many tears  
Lost from within, pursuing the end  
I fight for the chance to be lied to again**

"The chamber has been prepared for you," said Slade. "Everything is ready for Trigon's ascent."

"You're a fool," snipped Raven. "Whatever he promised, he won't deliver."

"Dear child, you don't know what you're talking about."

"You think I don't know my own father?"

"You are merely the portal…an insignificant pawn in Trigon's game."

"Then I guess we have that in common. And once he gets what he wants, you'll be insignificant too."

An enraged Slade stopped short in his tracks and his hands immediately flared up. "Shut your mouth!" Several of the fire-beings immediately leapt onto Slade in an effort to keep him away from Raven.

"Get off me! Do as I command!" he barked. But it was to no avail. The fire-beings maintained their hold on him and pretty soon, Slade was on the floor. Raven walked over to his bowed state and one of the creature's cocked Slade's head up to look at her.

"Come to think of it, Slade… you're _already_ insignificant. Even your own army won't listen to you…Leave him."

The fire-beings obeyed her command and took up their place alongside of her, leaving a seething Slade in the darkness of the corridor. Raven felt a slight twinge of satisfaction from putting Slade in his place, but despite that she could not shake the disturbing words both he and Trigon addressed to her moments ago…

**You will never be strong enough**

"_I am unstoppable…"_

**You will never be good enough**

"_You are nothing without me…"_

**You were never conceived in love**

"_You are merely the portal…an insignificant pawn in Trigon's game."_

**You will not rise above**

"_You cannot hide from your destiny."_

'_My destiny…'_

**They'll never see  
I'll never be  
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me**

The fire-beings led Raven to a room the Titans hadn't come across during their last time to the library. It was a massive room with a round skylight and a tall stone hand pillar at the center of the room. Raven then glanced up and the blackened sun's shadow slowly fell upon her. After a moment, she glanced down at her hand where she still hung onto the penny Beast Boy had given to her.

"It is time. The prophecy shall be fulfilled."

**But through my tears breaks a blinding light  
Birthing a dawn to this endless night  
Arms outstretched, awaiting me  
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree**

She then stepped forth to begin her trek up to the top of the stone hand, but the sudden clamor from behind her caused her to stop. Looking back, Raven watched as the Titans, both kicking and screaming barreled through the crowd of fire-beings in an effort to reach her, but the creatures lashed back and quickly overpowered them.

"Raven!"

Raven effortlessly extended a hand, and she dismissed the fire-beings from the room. Now freed from their captors, the Titans crossed the room and towards Raven. "It has already begun," she said plainly, lowering her raised hood. "And there's no stopping what is meant to be."

**Rest in me and I'll comfort you  
I have lived and I died for you  
Abide in me and I vow to you  
I will never forsake you**

"You're willing to give up on everything, all because of some prophecy you heard as a child? What if it's wrong?"

"Robin, I know what I know."

"I don't accept that. You can take control. You can make it not happen."

**They'll never see  
I'll never be  
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me**

"I've known my whole life that this day was going to come. I tried to control the dark side of me. I tried to do good things, to fight evil, and hoped that would somehow make up for the horrible thing I'm destined to do."

"But no one knows their destiny. There are things you can't possibly know."

**They'll never see  
I'll never be  
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me**

"There are some things I didn't know…like how I would make such wonderful friends. All I wanted was to make your last day perfect."

She then turned away from the others and closed her eyes. "Instead, you spent it worrying about me."

Robin stepped forward and took Raven's hand into his own.

"That's what friends do." Raven however pulled away from his grasp and retreated closer to the stone pillar.

"… And as my friends, you have to let me go."

She then summoned her powers, and a large black semi-opaque barricade sealed the Titans off from Raven. Frustrated by Raven's fatalistic resolve, Robin raced up towards the barrier and slammed his fists up against it. Raven gave the Titans one last fleeting look, pulled up her hood and headed towards the stone hand. As she neared the pillar, the stones lining her path started to rise, creating a makeshift staircase. Raven continued her stoic ascent to the top and along the way, she could hear the Titans furiously pummeling into the barrier, desperate to stop her from unleashing Trigon. Eventually Raven reached the summit, and hovered lotus-styled in midair on the stone hand's palm. She bowed her head and went on to recite the incantation that would bring forth Trigon…

**REST IN ME, I'LL COMFORT YOU  
****  
**"The gem was born of evil's fire..."

**I HAVE LIVED AND DIED FOR YOU **

"…The gem shall be his portal…"

**ABIDE IN ME AND VOW TO YOU **

"…He comes to claim, he comes to sire…"

**I WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU**

"…The end of all things mortal!"

Raven's eyes turned white and the red marks reappeared on her body. She then cried out as the strength of dark magic overtook her form, and the ancient red runes flew off her person and circled around her. As she hovered with arms and legs spread-eagled, a glowing white light came forth from her stomach and slowly began to swallow her whole. What happened next completely threw Raven for a loop. Instead of feeling immense pain and dread, Raven felt a great release and a sense of calmness overtake her. Her eyes clenched shut and then popped back open as she felt herself becoming lighter and lighter. Then just before Raven disappeared into nothingness, she released her grip on Beast Boy's penny.

'_I have no need for material objects where I'm going,' _she thought and closed her eyes. _"I'm so sorry…"_

**They'll never see  
I'll never be  
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me…**


	30. Chapter 30: My Immortal

CHAPTER 30

This was supposed to be the end of the story, the end of everything. It was supposed to be all over. Earth's skies had started to 'burn' and were crimson red from the searing flames and lava that engulfed the surface, all forms of living beings had turned to lifeless stone, and the sun had set forever in this realm. This was the way it was foretold to happen and this was the way it was supposed to remain…

"Oh…"

A soft groan could be heard amongst a pile of rubble and after a great deal of exertion, a small hand broke forth. Several moments later, the tiny hand managed to dig out a bigger hole in the debris and a violet-haired head – Raven's head - popped out gasping for air. Her violet eyes were as large as saucers and she hyperventilated as she fought to drag herself out of her stony prison. Eventually Raven was successful and with the exception of having her head in a fog, she was none the worse for wear as she staggered out…

_'I guess Azar was wrong,'_ she thought sadly._ 'There really is a life after death and judging by the looks of things, I must be in…'_

Raven gasped sharply and clutched her stomach as if she was going to be sick. She then looked down in confusion as she caught a glimpse of her body. Instead of seeing the body of a teenaged-girl in a black leotard and blue boots, Raven was in her all-white outfit, and she appeared and felt like a mere child.

"What is this…" she said out loud, and upon hearing herself, clasped her hands over her mouth. "Wh…" Raven then spotted what appeared to be a shattered mirror lying not too far away. Racing over to it, Raven uneasily peered into its reflective surface…

…And was floored to see herself as a child…

"Azar, above," said the voice of Intelligence. Raven then glanced up at one of her reflections in the fragmented glass and surprisingly enough, a younger version of Intelligence appeared in its place. She –for the most part- looked the same as her older counterpart, but instead of the large glasses she always wore, this version of Intelligence sported a smaller pair attached to a glasses chain that hung around her neck.

"This is…most unusual…" said the yellow-cloaked chibi, analyzing her hands. Raven just blinked.

_"_This doesn't make sense. Why have I been sent here as a kid? I thought that I would at least still be a teenager."

Intelligence took a good look around and after a moment of hesitation turned back to face Raven.

"…Because you're not dead."

"…What?"

"You're not dead. This horrible, horrible place is…Earth."

Raven backed away nervously and took off running. She reached the end of the street that she was on and gazed over the edge. As far as the eye could see, lava replaced what was once water, countless ruins of buildings and homes laid every which way and – much to Raven's horror- the hulking form of Trigon now sat on the remains of Titans' Tower as if it was a throne…

"No…" said Raven feebly, falling to her knees. "This can't be…"

"She's right, Raven," said Neurotic, appearing in the reflective surface of a discarded pot. She too was younger and smaller in stature. "This is Earth…or at least what remains of it."

"But how can I still be here? I fulfilled the prophecy. I'm supposed to be dead… I wish I was dead."

"Don't say that!" said Affection, popping up alongside Neurotic. "Don't ever say that!"

"Well what good does it do me to be here? Look at this place! Look at what I've done!"

"I see what you've done, but that is also the reason why we're still here."

"…I don't understand."

"Well, what is one of the last things you told the Titans? The last thing you did for the Titans?"

"…The Titans?"

Affection, Neurotic and Intelligence just looked at each other, while Happiness, Bravery and Timidity appeared alongside of them – Timidity next to Affection, Happiness next to Intelligence and Bravery next to Neurotic.

"They're your friends, Raven," replied a somewhat confused Happiness. "You remember don't you? Cyborg? Starfire? Beast Boy? …Robin?"

Raven sadly shook her head.

"This isn't good," replied Intelligence. "She's displaying amnesiac tendencies. Maybe this is a side effect to what has happened?"

"Well, yeah, that and the fact that she's a kid again," said Sloth, appearing across from the others in a shattered storefront window. "Don't forget about that because we got changed too!"

"Calm down, Sloth…"

_"_How can we be calm at a time like this!? Look around you! We're stuck on this charcoal ball, Raven doesn't remember anything and there's nothing…we can…"

Sloth lost her train of thought when she realized that during her rant that she had somehow passed through the broken window. All of the other emotions gasped and Raven fell backwards from the shock of the matter.

"…Do about it?" finished Sloth feebly. Raven slowly got back on her feet and she warily approached the slovenly emotion. She extended her hand out, as if to see if this was only an illusion and she nearly jumped out of her skin when Sloth mirrored her actions and the two came into contact.

"Now this is freaky," said Sloth. She then laughed. "Hey. How much you guys want to bet that you can walk about out here too?"

Raven turned to the others, and Bravery looked on unsurely. She then touched her hand to the glass and was surprised to see it pass through. Continuing on, Bravery steadily made her way out and soon enough she tumbled out beside Raven. The other emotions exchanged looks and pretty soon, all seven emotions stood alongside and around Raven who turned back to Intelligence.

"… What in the world's going on?" questioned Raven. "How did I get here? How did you guys get here? How did we all get…like this?"

"Something…weird happened when we became the portal," said Intelligence as Neurotic nodded in agreement. "You do not recall," continued Neurotic, "But before you completed the prophecy, you longed for our friends, the Teen Titans to be safe and to do that powerful magic was needed. The magic could not work however if you had died."

Raven's eyes grew wide. "You mean by me simply wishing these Titans no harm, it ended up protecting me?"

"I believe so."

"It does make sense," said Intelligence, rubbing her chin. "The spell used was one of the spells we learned from Azar, and her spells were some of the few in existence that could counter Trigon's magic."

"Precisely. Azar's magic prevented us from disappearing into nothingness. We were reborn –in a sense- but our 'second chance' came at a great cost. The clashing of such great, opposing magical forces caused our psyche to shatter, and in addition to us being able to exist outside of your mind, you've suffered some memory loss as well. Chances are though that these are only temporary side effects – your memory should return in time and we will be able to fuse back with Raven. Prayerfully though ladies, this will come very soon."

"Why so?" asked Happiness. "What would happen if we didn't fuse back together?"

"You each may have felt yourselves growing weaker. Part of it is due to the stress of the spells that ravaged us, but it is mostly because we're really not supposed to exist outside of Raven's mind. If we do not return to it, we will fade into nothingness."

"So for the record," said Sloth. "Raven has amnesia, we each still stand a chance of dying, and because of Trigon's doing, we probably also don't have our magic powers or even the ability to fly. Is that correct? We're completely powerless?"

Neurotic and Intelligence nodded sadly.

"This little theology and psychology lesson has been very interesting, ladies," scoffed Bravery. "Now do either you have any useful words of wisdom? Maybe some suggestions on what to do next because I'm not throwing in the towel! Not now, not ever!"

"I can't say," murmured Neurotic.

"You mean you don't know?" asked Timidity, hiding behind Affection and Happiness.

_"_I didn't say that."

"So you have some idea on what will happen next?" asked Sloth.

"Didn't say that either."

"Then what is it?" cried Intelligence. "Come on, don't leave us here in the dark!"

"It's not for me to say. True, I have some ability to see the future, but that's the thing. All I see is haze. What happens next all depends on the path Raven chooses, so only she will we knows of our future…"

**I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
****And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone**

The other emotions turned to look at Raven.

"So, maybe it's all a sign," chimed in Happines. "Maybe, that means that there's still hope!"

"Happiness, please…" moaned Raven.

"But…"

"No buts," she huffed and stormed away. "I don't remember much of anything, it comes to me in pieces. But what I am certain about is the fact that we've been lied to for practically all of our lives. Trigon has come back to Earth. No one can stop him and we were fools to believe any differently! Now just…just leave me alone."

**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase**

Raven took off running down another 'street', one which twisted and turned and skidded to a stop when she came across several citizens of Jump City, citizens who were now turned to stone. A sickening sense of déjà vu overcame Raven and a sordid memory of her last trip to Azarath came into her mind's eye…

_"Witch!"_

_"Murderer!"_

_"Why did you let us die?"_

_"Get out of here! You're not welcomed here. You were __never__ welcomed here!" _

_"You did this! You did this to us!"_

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have…all of me**

"…This is all my fault…" said Raven sadly, backing away from the statues and setting down another pathway.

"…Raven?"

"I said go away," she quivered. "There's nothing any of you can say that could make any of this go away."

"Raven," said Intelligence. "Please. Once before, we asked you not to shut us out - especially when you needed us most. I can't think of a better time for you to lean on us."

**You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
****Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me**

"I can't. I can't trust in anyone and I can't trust in myself. You know that. People have constantly lied about who I was, about caring about me, about me being able to stop Trigon, and you all were crazy enough to let me believe them!"

**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
****When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have…all of me**

_"_Well, what about the Titans?" questioned Bravery, stepping in front of her. "They've always stood by you and they were even willing to give their lives to protect you, to keep this from happening."

"You casted a spell that protected them from Trigon and the fate of Earth," interjected Affection. "So somewhere out there in all this mess, they're still alive. They're still alive, Raven, and I'll bet that they're looking for a way right now to stop Trigon...and maybe even to find and help us."

**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along**

"Not possible, and even if it were, it doesn't matter. It never mattered. I'm destined to be all alone, we're all powerless to stop Trigon, and if the Titans were smart they would be looking for a way off of Earth - not looking to get themselves killed."

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have…**

"You're crazy!" screamed Bravery. "Amnesia or not, you are crazy to believe that Tri …"

Bravery fell silent, and she and the other emotions turned their attention to something across the way. Raven followed suit and her face turned into a scowl. Standing directly across from her was the absolute last person she'd wished to see.

**  
All of me…**

**Me…**

**Me…**

"Rage…" she uttered bitterly.


	31. Chapter 31: Your Star

CHAPTER 31

Raven stared down one of her oldest enemies. Like the other emotions, Rage too had maintained her usual garb and had taken on a younger form. However, Rage did not seem like her usual self. For starters, she was unusually quiet, her eyes were tired and mild and she looked downright sickly. Not that Raven or the others cared…

"How dare you show your face!" she yelled. "Go away!" Rage however did no such thing. Instead she slowly began to make her way towards the others.

"Hey girls," murmured Bravery. "Now that we're all separate entities, why don't we toss Rage over a cliff and see if (A) she floats, (B) she melts like a stone, or (C) all of the above?"

"Cute," laughed Rage softly - if you could call it a laugh. "Really cute. But don't get any funny ideas because I'm not here to fight. Thanks to the fulfillment of the prophecy I'm now significantly weaker than I've ever been – probably more so than all of you put together. I'm just here to talk."

"Ha! Now I've heard everything, and what rock did you crawl out of? Where have you been all of this time?"

Rage rolled her eyes. "I woke up somewhere not far from here, and after listening to the eight of you carry on, I just followed your voices here. Now what's all this about having to fuse back together?"

"What for? There's no way you'd be welcomed back. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"I'm just as much a part of Raven as all of you. I have the right to want to live.'"

"Are you serious? We'd all be better off without the likes of you around. Ever since we were young, you've been the center of most of our fights, you've tried to take over Raven's mind and you played Ambassador to Trigon!"

"You're throwing all of this in my face as if I chose to be this way!" shrieked Rage. "I didn't have a choice! You all have always treated me like the black sheep and you have no idea what it was like to be me!"

Raven looked on at the spectacle in bewilderment and not long afterward, she walked back towards the edge of the cliff to take in the apocalyptic world around her. Raven's eyes then glanced up at the scarlet red sky. The other emotions continued to look on in confusion, and Rage turned away from the others though it was still apparent that she was very upset.

**I can't see your star  
****I can't see your star  
****Though I patiently waited bedside for the death of today  
****I can't see your star**

"…The rest of you seem to forget how things once were. You forget that when Raven was born, there were only two emotions that she could feel, two broad emotions that all babies feel: the comfort of contentment, and the discomfort of misery. This was Affection's and my place in life. However there was another side to me, a side which haunts us to this very day. You see unlike Affection - or even the rest of you – I wasn't formed naturally. I didn't come into Raven's mind as she grew physically and as she matured mentally. I was planted – _planted_ – into Raven on the day she was conceived. I have had to go for all of this time knowing about what had to be done and what did indeed occur on this day."

**The mechanical lights of Lisbon  
Frightened it away**

"So you want to downplay your role in all this and say that you were only doing what you were told, huh?" scoffed Bravery. "Because…"

"I am not done talking," said Rage, wincing as if she was in great pain. "And if I had the strength, I'd take advantage of the fact that I could actually throttle you and you would take on damage."

Bravery just glared at her. "I think what Bravery was trying to say," said Intelligence, stepping in between the two, "is that you must admit that your actions have been…"

**And I'm alone now  
Me and all I stood for  
We're wandering now  
All in parts in pieces, swim lonely  
Find your own way out**

"Now don't _you _start!" snapped Rage, and the yellow-cloaked emotion hurriedly backed away from her. "I swear on Azar's grave…you and all the rest of you are nothing but a bunch of hypocrites! You're always jumping down Raven's throat for holding back her emotions holding back her opinions, holding back what's troubling her. You've each had a chance to express yourselves when it mattered most. Even Sloth's laidback attitude has been favored over mine and whenever it has come to me or something I want to do it's all, 'Don't get angry! Don't lose control! Don't let your _rage_ take over you!'"

**I can't see your star  
I can't see your star  
****How can the darkness feel so wrong?**

Intelligence and the others looked on dumbly. "Ever since Raven was a baby," continued Rage. "I was always told 'no', simply because I was the lone and unfortunate one out of all of us that got paired up with Trigon's influence. But at the same time, there was so much tension, frustration, jealousy and hatred building up inside of me, and sometimes it just boiled over. That's when Trigon tried to take advantage of things…"

"Like the time you made Raven fight with you and you took over Raven's mind," said Neurotic.

"In one word, yes. I couldn't always help the things that I said and did once I blew my top. Sometimes it really was all Trigon's doing. But for everything else I take full accountability for and that's because I was only doing what came naturally to me! I was only doing what was expected of me!"

"I, I guess we all have never looked at it that way before," said Affection, approaching Rage and placing a hand on her shoulder. Rage however jerked away and walked some distance away from the group, and the others followed after her.

**And I'm alone now  
Me and all I stood for**

"You should've," said Rage, casually looking over her shoulder at her entourage. "After all, we each compliment one another and we couldn't function or live without the other. We all have an emotion that is our polar opposite and she is supposed to help balance the other out."

**We're wandering now  
All in parts in pieces, swim lonely  
Find your own way out**

"How could being angry or jealous or hateful about anything be a good thing?" snipped Bravery who actually cringed when Rage suddenly appeared in her face. "The same way it's good to be a sniveling coward, a hyperactive airhead, a snobbish bookworm, a basket case, a boorish bum, a softie and a hotheaded marine! Think about that for a moment and think the next time before you speak. You'll live longer that way."

"Where the heck are we going anyway, Rage?" asked Sloth, stopping to rest on some debris. "I'm bushed."

"You're so bloody lazy. But as for our destination, I'm not certain. It's the same place I woken up at, and it seemed very familiar for some reason. It felt…safe to be at."

"Ok," said Raven. "And when we reach this safe place, what are we supposed to do next?"

"How the heck should I know? Nothing is as it should be anymore. We don't even know how we're supposed to merge back into you or when the opportunity is supposed to present itself. I was just going to return back to this place and just wait."

"Wait?"

"For the silence, for the darkness, for the…"

Rage looked back at Raven whose face was one of great sympathy and she sighed deeply as she continued on down the path. "Whoa," said Happiness, who watched Rage slowly walk away. "That was most…"

"Depressing?" questioned Timidity.

"Disturbing?" said Neurotic.

"Or (C), all of the above?" said Sloth.

"'C'. Definitely, definitely 'C'."

* * *

"Oh my…"

Raven and the seven remaining emotions looked on in wonder. Before them were the remains of a cathedral. The devastation of the Earth had ripped its roof clean off. It also had caused its walls to cave in and numerous exposed and damaged support beams jutted from either side, giving the grim appearance of a pair of skeletal hands cradling the building in its palms.

"I…I remember this place…"

**So far away**

The others turned to Raven who stepped forth from the group and slowly approached the building. She continued on down the path and opened the doors to the church. Inside the place was an absolute wreak. Large pieces of concrete and other debris laid scattered about the room and on top of several of the pews, its columns were smashed and shattered and what was probably once a tiled or carpeted floor was now replaced with dirt and rock. Surprisingly however, the church's numerous stained glass windows were still intact.

**It's growing colder without your love**

"I brought a friend to this place once," said Raven to herself, who placed her hand upon one of the pews. "I once had a friend…but that was long ago."

**Why can't you feel me calling your name?**

Raven's eyes then fell upon Rage, who sat in one of the pews towards the front of the church. Rage sensed Raven's gaze and slowly turned to face her.

"So you followed me after all," she stated tediously.

"Where else was I supposed to go? Where else were _any_ of us supposed to go?"

**Can't break the silence  
It's breaking me**

Rage shrugged indifferently and turned back to stare off into space. Raven made her way towards the pew and took a seat. "I know that what I'm about to say won't change anything," started Raven. "But you were right. You were right about everything. You are just as much a part of me as any of the others out there, and for everyone we've known and especially for me to deny you the right to express yourself was wrong. I don't expect you to forgive me either, but I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Rage."

**All my fears…  
****Turn to rage…**

Rage remained silent and unmovable and Raven lowered her head. "I take back everything bad I've ever said, everything that I ever wished upon you, and if there was a way for us to get back together, I'd let you back in. I'd let you all back in…"

The sound of the cathedral doors creaking open caught Raven's attention and she turned around. Instead of seeing any of her other emotions, she saw the silhouette of a man. Worriedly, she turned to face Rage was startled to see that she was alone all in the pew.

**And I'm alone now  
****Me and all I stood for  
****We're wandering now  
All in parts and pieces, swim lonely  
Find your own way out now**

Raven gasped and dove to the floor. _'Who is that man?'_ she thought nervously as she listened as his heavy footsteps echoed throughout the building. _'And what happened to Rage and the others?'_

"Hello? Is anyone here?"

Raven froze at the sound of his voice. Why it sounded so familiar and felt so comforting and painful to hear she wasn't sure, but she had to figure out why. Raven cautiously crept a little bit closer to the stranger (whose back was turned to her) and she was able to make out some more details about him: the man was actually a teenaged boy with spiky black hair. He wore an unusual ensemble composed of a red vest, green gloves and tight-like pants, a yellow cape, and some heavy-looking combat boots with steel toes. The boy continued to survey his surroundings and after a brief moment of hesitation, Raven took off running. _'Oh no!'_ she thought when the boy spotted her out the corner of his eye and he started to give chase.

**And nothing worth fighting for  
We're wandering now  
All in parts and pieces, swim lonely  
Find your own way out**

Raven ran as fast as her little legs would carry her over and under the countless piles of debris. But it was of no use – the teen was able to miraculously keep up with her. Stopping to catch her breath, Raven gasped as this person reached toward her and snatched away her cloak. As Raven turned to face him she got a good look at his face and concealing his eyes was a black mask. The boy's eyes widened as he too got a good look at her, as if he was in total disbelief by who he found.

"…Raven?"

"Who…who are you?"


	32. Chapter 32: Farther Away

CHAPTER 32

Raven looked up suspiciously at the spiky-haired teen. For the past several minutes, the two youths had stared each other down, both of them reluctant to make the first move.

"Who are you?" repeated Raven, not certain what to make of this stranger's being here.

"It's okay," he said reassuringly. "I'm here to take you back."

'_Back?'_ thought Raven. _'What does he mean by 'back?'_' She then broke off into a panicked run.

"Raven!"

Raven continued her flight and after clambering over a pile of rubble, she 'exited' the building and raced down a winding flight of stairs. She then glanced over her shoulder to see that the teen was running alongside of her on the uneven and rocky slope lining the staircase.

'_Azar above – who __is__ this guy?'_

"Wait! I'm not going to hurt you!"

The boy suddenly skidded to a stop when he realized that the path he had taken dropped over the edge of a cliff. As he stopped and made his way towards the path Raven had taken, she had continued on down the stairs and across a bridge that stretched across the fissure the boy nearly fell into. She skittered into a nearby cavern and through a maze of towering stone columns.

'_Got to hide, got to hide!'_ she thought anxiously, and much to her relief she spotted a small nook in the cavern's wall. As she dove into it, she could hear the sound of the boy's footsteps and she scuttled inside fearfully.

'_Oh! This is a dead-in! And there's no time to…oh!'_

"Please!" called out the boy as he reached in. "I just want…Ow!"

A swift and well-placed kick to his leg dropped him to the ground and after snatching her robe from out of his hand, Raven took off towards the stone columns. She bounded onto the first column effortlessly and continued onward leaping from column top to column top. One tiny misstep however soon had Raven sliding down into another gorge and she landed into a crumpled mess. Seconds later, the boy who had been persistently following her leapt down a few yards away.

"Raven, it's me, Robin," he said as he advanced towards her. "Remember?"

"I'm lost," said Raven who was now reclining on the ground. Robin's face saddened.

"I know. But I've found you. You don't need to be afraid anymore. I can help you…"

Robin knelled down to her level and held out a hand. "…But you have to let me."

Raven's eyes widened at hearing this and her words from a memory once forgotten to her filled her recollect:

"_Robin please, don't throw me out. You have to let me help you. It's the only way…_ _I want to understand what you're feeling and going through! I want to be able to help you! I only want what's best for you! But if you're closing me out, how can I do that? How can I do any of that?"_

Raven's eyes began to well with tears._ 'Robin…' _she thought wistfully. She then after much uncertainty reached out and partook of his hand.

'_There isn't anything you can do,'_ she thought, looking up into his eyes. _'But I also don't want to be alone.'_

"You're going to come with me?" he asked. "I'm not forcing you, you know?"

"…I know."

Robin smiled at her. "Alright, then. Just follow me. There's a boat that we can take."

"…A boat? But there is no water."

"Let's just say that this is a special kind of boat. Come on. Get on my back." Robin then knelled down and Raven climbed on. "We've got a bit of a walk before we're back there…"

Some time later and Raven and Robin had made their way back to the river of lava Robin remembered using on his quest to find her. He caught hold of the boat and anchored it with his foot.

"_This _is the special boat?" Raven asked doubtfully. "I don't know about this."

"It's ok. I thought the same way about it at first too. But you'll be safe - I'll make sure of it. Here, climb onboard."

Raven stared at the boat for a second and took Robin's hand again. She made her way onto the boat and sat at the stern and Robin joined her shortly afterwards. He then grabbed the oar and with a great push, managed to get the boat going down the lava canal.

"We're going to be alright," said Robin in between strokes. "Just sit back and enjoy the ride."

Raven sighed and turned to get a look at her new surroundings. All around the pair was molten rock and the chasm's steep, craggy walls. Raven then closed her eyes and the sight of three people came into view. One was a young man with a chocolate complexion and was composed of metal and circuitry. Another was a teenaged girl with golden orange skin, striking emerald eyes and long fiery red hair. The last person was a teenaged boy and with the exception of his outfit, everything, his hair, his eyes and his skin was green.

**I took their smiles and I made them mine  
****I sold my soul just to hide the light  
****And now I see what I really am  
A thief, a whore, and a liar**

'_These…must be my friends…the Titans. But __why__ are they my friends? I've put them in so much danger. I tried to hide from them who I really was. But they're still here…'_

The boat eventually reached its destination and Robin ran it aground onto the nearby shore. He once again extended a helping hand and a warm smile towards her. "It's all right" he coaxed and Raven climbed back onto his back. "How about a story - to pass the time?"

**I run to you (And away from this hell)  
Call out your name (Giving up, giving in)  
I see you there (Still you are)  
Farther away  
**

Raven never answered him but Robin went on to tell his story as he started to climb one of the chasm's walls. "This is the story of Raven. She was my very good friend. Many people thought that Raven was mysterious and different, and this was true. She _wasn't_ like most people, but then again that is what made Raven special. She was hardworking, smart, witty, caring,and she was very brave. Together we fought evil. We beat monsters and villains, and we kept our city safe. But even though she was doing good, Raven was always afraid that deep down inside, she was bad. See, from the day she was born, people told her that someday, something terrible was going to…"

The violent tremors of an earthquake rendered Robin silent and he and Raven glanced down as the lava canal began to drain into the crack that suddenly appeared in the ground. To their dismay, a horde of fire-beings streaked out of the void and upwards into the heavens, creating tremors and cascading boulders along the way. Robin then gritted his teeth as he felt his grip on the chasm's wall weaken and he cried out as the wall gave way and he and Raven tumbled down into the gaping maw of the abyss. Desperate to stop their rapid descent, Robin dug his second hand into the cavern wall but it was an extended ledge that ceased his plummet. Unfortunately however, the ledge also succeeded in jerking Raven clear off Robin's back and she screamed as she hurtled towards the river of fire.

"Raven!"

'_Dear God, this is it. I'm going to die,'_ thought a panic-stricken Raven, and she looked on in surprise as Robin released his grip from the ledge seconds later and dove in after her. He quickly reached Raven and after grabbing her in a crushing hug, he whipped out his grappling hook from his trusty utility belt and fired it. The line caught hold onto the chasm wall and the two swung over to a narrow rock bridge. Robin and Raven touched down hard and broke off into a sprint as the bridge began to collapse piece by piece (and as deadly debris continued to rain down from above). With one last leap, the two reached solid ground and looked on as the fire beings flew out of the chasm. They were safe…at least for now…

"You okay?" asked Robin, setting her down to get a good look at her. "…You didn't get hurt?"

Raven's sullen face glanced up at him_._

**I'm numb to you  
Numb and deaf and blind  
You give me all but the reason why  
I reach but I feel only air at night  
Not you, not love, just nothing**

"Robin, why are you doing this?"

"You do remember, don't you?"

Raven nodded sadly and turned to look over the cliff's edge. "The story you were telling…I can see it. Bits and pieces. You…our friends…my father…like it was a dream. A nightmare. Whatever it was, it's over."

**I run to you (And away from this hell)  
Call out your name (Giving up, giving in)  
I see you there (Still you are)  
Farther away**

"Raven, there may still be a way to…"

"Nobody can stop him," interrupted Raven. "I remember that. You came down here for nothing."

"…I came down here for _you_."

**Tried to forget you  
But without you  
I feel nothing**

"Why!?" said Raven angrily and with tears in her eyes. "I can't help. My powers came from him. And now that he's done with me, I don't have them anymore." She then hung her head and slumped to the ground.

"There was…a prophecy, Robin. And it came true. It's all over now."

**Don't leave me here  
By myself  
I can't breathe**

"Yeah," he replied, knelling down beside her. "It's the end of the world. But so what? We're still here…still fighting. Still friends."

"_Look_ at me, Robin! There's nothing I can do! There isn't any hope!"

"… Then I guess…I'll just have to have enough hope for the both of us."  
**  
**He smiled at her and Raven's tiny fingers clasped onto Robin's hand and once again, she was riding piggyback on him. Robin then turned to face the nearby wall and started back up the slope.

**I run to you (And away from this hell)  
Call out your name (Giving up, giving in)  
I see you there (Still you are)  
Farther away**

"I still can't believe that you're standing by me," said Raven, clinging onto Robin for dear life. "That you _want_ to stand by me."

"I have every reason to. Once upon a time, I doubted myself. I didn't think that I was fit to be leader and I was even was ready to believe that I had gone crazy. But you helped me. Believe it or not, _you_ helped me, Raven. Now I would like to return the favor. We may have lost the battle, but the war's not over. This isn't over, Raven, and once we find the others we'll beat this. Together."

I run to you (And away from this hell)  
Call out your name (Giving up, giving in)  
I see you there (Still you are)  
Farther away  
Farther away  
Farther away  
Farther away  
Farther away  
Farther away…


	33. Chapter 33: Whisper

CHAPTER 33

"Finally..." Robin groaned as he pulled himself and Raven out of the chasm and onto the surface above. "I almost thought that we'd never get out of there."

"This place seems familiar somehow."

"That's because through these doors and up the flight of steps is the old town library."

"…Where all of this started."

"Yeah. Come on. The Titans should be somewhere around here…"

Somewhat drawing the drive and strength from within, Robin began to sprint up the winding staircase. A short time later and the two reached the top of the staircase.

"Screech all you want! We're not going down without a fight!"

"That was Cyborg!" said Robin. "Raven, stay here. I'll be back for you."

Raven looked on timidly as Robin took off towards the sound of the clamor, but her uneasiness and curiosity got the better of her and she quickly set off after Robin. She found Robin standing some distance away on top of a concrete slab and crashing down some distance from him were the Titans. Moments later a pack of fire-beings zoned in on the team, and Cyborg and Starfire unleashed their trademark attacks onto the creatures. Several of themselves dissipate into the air, but a few remained locked onto their targets. Just then, Robin whipped out a set of his exploding discs and hurled them at the attackers. As his discs took care of the stranglers, he suddenly felt a tug on his leg.

"Raven?" he questioned, looking down at her. But before he or Raven could say anything else, the Titans caught sight of Robin and made their way over to him.

"Robin!"

"Dude! You're alive!"

The Titans' eyes then fell upon the sight of Raven who nervously glanced up at them and clung to Robin's leg tightly.

"Raven…" said a stunned Cyborg.

"…Yes?"

Beast Boy and Cyborg stood with mouths agape. Starfire however seemed transfixed by this smaller version of her friend. "Raven," said Robin. "These are the Titans, the friends I've told you about. There's Cyborg and Beast Boy and Starfire. Do you remember them?"

"…A little," said Raven sadly.

Now Starfire's face was etched with confusion. "Robin? What has happened to Raven?"

"For lack of a better expression, Star, she's been to hell and back. When Raven became the portal, there were some…side effects."

"No fooling," said Beast Boy who knelled down to look at her.

"Somehow she lost bits of her memory," continued Robin. "And she doesn't really seem to have her powers."

"Trigon took them from me," said Raven sadly. "Once he was finished with me, he made sure that I couldn't do anything to challenge him."

A series of very loud thunderclaps and bright streaks of lightning filled the air, and the stormy sounds sent Raven running for cover. As she cowered behind the concrete slab that she and Robin once stood on, the Titans listened as Trigon's voice echoed across the plain.

"Go forth and conquer! One by one, worlds shall fall, until every being in this entire dimension bows down to worship Trigon the Terrible!"

Starfire gasped. "The fire demons!" said Beast Boy. "Dudes, he's unleashing them onto the whole universe!"

"The Trigon must be stopped," said Starfire. "Otherwise more innocent lives shall be lost! And Tamaran…"

Raven looked on remorsefully. "I know, Star," said Robin. "That's why we need to hit Trigon with everything we've got. It's our only chance to break him."

"And Raven?"

Robin turned to look at her. "I'm not sure, but in her current state it'd be too dangerous to try and ask her to fight. You're going to have to stay low until we figure out what to do for you, Raven."

Raven nodded in agreement.

"So her powers are gone?" said Cyborg. "She really can't help us?"

"Well at least we still got that ring of Azar thingie so Trigon can't…"

Beast Boy's sentence trailed off when Starfire held up the shattered pieces of the ring in the palm of her hand. "Oh, crud," he murmured as she let the pieces fall to the ground.

"Sothis is it," declared Robin. "One final attack. Him or us. All or nothing."

The Titans nodded in agreement and Robin walked over to Raven. "This is your story, Raven," he said, kneeling and placing his hands on her shoulders. "And I'm not sure what happens next. I know it seems hopeless, but I believe that when the time is right you _will_ know what to do."

The large stone that concealed the Titans from Trigon's sight is moved out of the way and the team twirled around to find Trigon grinning wickedly at them.

"What strange vermin cower beneath my rocks?" he jested.

"Now!" cried Robin and the four 'Teen' Titans leapt up at Trigon. "I have endured your existence long enough," said Trigon casually and a deadly blast of energy from his eyes stopped the Titans in midair. As they cried out and groaned from the pain, Trigon cupped the sphere of energy encompassing them and Raven stepped forth to get a better view.

"Your world is ended!" boomed Trigon, apparently preparing himself to deal the Titans a final and fatal blow. "Your time is…"

A flash of lightning danced across the sky and the Titans watched in amazement as Slade came vaulting into view with a massive double ended weapon and swung it at Trigon. Trigon suddenly bellowed in pain as Slade came in for a landing and the majority of his left antler tumbled to the ground. Trigon clutched the stump on his head in disbelief and looked down menacingly as Slade and the recently liberated Titans touched down and readied themselves for a battle to end all battles.

"Titans! _GO!!"_

And with that, the Titans (and Slade) lunged into battle. Raven looked on speechlessly as a Cyborg and Starfire blasted away with their cannon and starbolts. Seconds later, Trigon slammed a heavy palm onto the ground, eliciting an earthquake which sent the team flying. Starfire – who was airborne anyway- kept at her assault and darted around Trigon's head. With his attention diverted to the Tamaranean princess, Beast Boy took it upon himself to sneak up behind Trigon as a pterodactyl and delivered one painful T-Rex bite to the ear. Now distracted by Beast Boy, Trigon was vulnerable for the fourth wave of the Titans' attack and Cyborg dealt him a square blow to the chest. Beast Boy morphed into a hawk and flew for cover, opening a way for Robin to leap into the fray. With his staff in hand, Robin vaulted across several rooftops and leapt up towards Trigon's face. At the last possible second, he whipped out yet another series of his discs and flung them at Trigon's eyes. When they made contact, a thick sheet of ice coated Trigon's eyes and he blindly stumbled backwards.

**Catch me, as I fall,  
****Say you're here and it's all over now…**

"I don't believe it," said Raven, who watched from a safe distance as the Titans' continuous barrage left Trigon howling in pain and rage. Beast Boy then morphed into a stegosaurus and was promptly thrown into the air by Cyborg. His spikes struck Trigon in the face and the so-called unstoppable tyrant fell to his knees.

"They're…hurting him!"

**Speaking to the atmosphere,  
****No one's here and I fall into myself…**

"Of course they're hurting them," said the familiar voice of Intelligence. Raven's eyes widened.

"Intelligence? I thought that you were…"

"Dead?"

"Something like that. Where did you guys go?"

"Back into your head. All of us are back in your mind. It was weird though because it happened without ther…"

"You can give her the full story later, Aesop!" screamed the voice of Bravery. "Right here, it's time to give Trigon a taste of his own medicine!"

**This truth drives me into madness  
****I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away  
****If I will it all away…**

"No! It…I couldn't…I can't fight Trigon…"

"Why not! Because some overgrown hothead said that you couldn't? Look before you, Raven."

Raven turned back to see Slade hurl his weapon at Trigon's right antler, and like the first one it came tumbling off of him. Trigon roared in pain as he staggered backwards into the lava filling Jump City Bay and he cowered before the Titans and Slade as they approached his fallen form.

"Look at this sight, Raven. Trigon _lied _to you -all in an attempt to keep you under his thumb. But _now look at him! This 'unstoppable' force to be reckoned who couldn't be hurt by anything has been wounded and brought to his knees by five mortals, and if he was lying about that, chances are that you still have some if not all of your powers."_

_"But…"_

**Don't turn away (Don't give into the pain)  
****Don't try to hide (Though they're screaming your name)  
****Don't close your eyes (God knows what lies behind them)  
****Don't turn out the light (Never sleep, never die)**

"I know this task seems daunting, and…it's ok to be afraid. But you've got to try. For the Earth's sake, for your friends' sake, for you. Just confide in us, Raven, and the rest will come into play."

**I'm frightened by what I see  
****But somehow I know that there's much more to come  
****Immobilized by my fear  
****And so to be blinded by tears  
****I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away  
****If I will it all away…**

"ENOUGH!!!" hollered Trigon and in a fit of rage unleashed an eye blast that sent Slade flying into a slab of concrete. Raven watched in horror as her former stalker and foe went limp.

"No!"

Raven watched helplessly as Trigon continued his offensive strike and his eye blast turned into a sweeping beam that consumed the Titans. Robin was the only one not immediately caught by Trigon's gaze but no amount of sprinting could save him and he too was struck down.

"_NO!"_

**Don't turn away (Don't give into the pain)  
****Don't try to hide (Though they're screaming your name)  
****Don't close your eyes (God knows what lies behind them)  
****Don't turn out the light (Never sleep, never die)**

Raven watched as Trigon stopped his assault, and there lying on the smoking asphalt were the Teen Titans. She hurriedly made her way towards her teammates but after noticing Robin was not there set off to find him. And she did – he was several yards away and like the other Titans, he was knocked out cold and unresponsive.

**Fallen angels at my feet  
****Whispering voices at my ear  
****Death before my eyes  
****Lying next to me I fear**

"Get up!" she sobbed, knelling down beside him and shaking him. "Robin, please! Get up!" Raven then heard the telltale sound of Trigon's thundering footsteps approaching her.

"Farewell, dear daughter," he spat, and sent down a fiery blast meant to do her in once and for all. However, and both to Trigon and Raven's surprise, a white translucent shield surrounded Raven and Robin, protecting them both from harm. Raven stared down at her hand which briefly crackled with energy.

"How…?"

"… You may have retained some trace of my power," said Trigon after a brief pause. "But you are still no threat to me, little girl. I am your creator, your master. You exist only to serve me. You survive only because I allow it."

Raven sadly lowered her head. "What hope can a mere child have of defeating her all-powerful father?" continued Trigon.

**She beckons me, shall I give in?  
****Upon my end shall I begin?  
****Forsaking all I've fallen for  
****I rise to meet the end…**

'…_Father?'_

At the sound of the very word, something deep within Raven snapped. There was always some level of animosity between her and Trigon, but this was nothing like what she was feeling before. This being…this, this monster was responsible for the pain and suffering of countless races and planets. He had raped and tortured her mother and killed her in cold blood. _His lust for power and vengeance led him to distort, twist and turn her world completely upside down. However what was even more damning to Raven was the fact that Trigon had the audacity to refer to himself as her father. Her father! Raven felt her blood begin to boil and as _her justifiable rage poured forth, her forehead chakra and her eyes started to shine white. "You may have created me…" she started as the light steadily grew brighter and consumed her being. When the light died away, Raven was back in her teenaged body and her hair was long and flowing just as it had been on her sixteenth birthday.

"…but you were _never_ my father."

**Don't turn away (Don't give into the pain)  
****Don't try to hide (Though they're screaming your name)  
****Don't close your eyes (God knows what lies behind them)  
****Don't turn out the light (Never sleep, never die)**

Raven then placed her hands together and fired a beam of magic at Trigon's chest and he stumbled backwards towards the bay. Raven then stormed past the Titans (who were slowly coming to) and glared hatefully at Trigon, who seconded the emotion.

"Wretched, insignificant…"

A second blast from Raven cut Trigon's tirade short and he flew backwards. Raven continued her march towards Trigon and blasted at him repeatedly.

**Don't turn away / Servatis a pereculum (Don't give into the pain)  
****Don't try to hide/ Servatis a maleficum (Though they're screaming your name)  
****Don't close your eyes/ Servatis a pereculum (God knows what lies behind them)  
****Don't turn out the light/ Servatis a maleficum (Never sleep, never die)**

"Fathers are kind!" she shouted boldly. "Fathers protect you! Fathers raise you!"

The onslaught of white magic left Trigon stunned and crippled and as he growled in pain, the Titans walked up behind Raven. He then fell to his knees and screamed in agony.

**Don't turn away / Servatis a pereculum (Don't give into the pain)  
****Don't try to hide/ Servatis a maleficum (Though they're screaming your name)  
****Don't close your eyes/ Servatis a pereculum (God knows what lies behind them)  
****Don't turn out the light/ Servatis a maleficum (Never sleep, never die)**

"I was protected by the monks of Azarath," continued Raven, the white magic now circling her body. The power that she had blessed her friends with earlier departed from their bodies at this time and it retraced back into her.

"I was raised by my friends. _They_ are my family. _This_ is my home…"

Raven's surge of inner and physical strength carried her into the sky and she spread her arms out wide as her chakra overflowed with power.

"… And _you_are _not_ welcome here! **AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!**"

**Servatis a pereculum  
****Servatis a maleficum  
****Servatis a pereculum  
****Servatis a maleficum  
****Servatis a pereculum  
****Servatis a maleficum**

Raven's soul self flew towards Trigon and unlike the customary 'black raven' often seen with this display of power, it was snow white in color and Trigon cowered as Raven's magic slowly consumed him. The brilliance of the attack eventually swallowed up Trigon whole and he howled one last bloodcurdling scream as he disappeared from view and from all existence. Raven's soul self continued to widen and it miraculously expanded across the entire city and beyond, and the Titans looked on in awe as everything the light touched was restored to its former state: the lava transformed back into sparkling water, the sky was clear and blue, the buildings and streets were as that were once before, the people and animals were again flesh and blood and Titans Tower stood tall and proud upon its island in Jump City Bay.

**Servatis a pereculum  
****Servatis a maleficum  
****Servatis a pereculum  
****Servatis a maleficum  
****Servatis a pereculum  
****Servatis a maleficum  
****Servatis a pereculum  
****Servatis a maleficum…**

The Titans then watched as Raven slowly came in for a landing. Her powers dissipated and the team slowly approached her.

"Raven…" said Starfire. "That was…"

"…Unbelievable," finished Cyborg.

"No," smiled a victorious Raven. "It wasn't." She then flung her arms around Robin.

"Somebody believed."

"Welcome back," replied Robin.

'_It's good to be back,'_ thought Raven contently.


	34. The Last Song I'm Wasting On You

EPILOGUE

**TWO YEARS LATER…**

"…So…" said Beast Boy, after a moment of hesitation.

"…So…" responded Raven, who seemed just as nervous as he was. The two Titans stood at the entranceway of a cemetery and their looks had changed some since that dark day that fell upon Earth two year prior. Raven for one was a bit taller and she had let her violet locks grow out some. She also wore a long-sleeved black shirt, some denim jeans and an opened full length dark blue trench coat. Beast Boy's appearance had changed a great deal too. It seemed like for the past year or so his body experienced a rapid growth spurt, and now the Titan who was once shorter than even Raven could look Starfire square in the face. He still had the same mop of unruly green hair and he wore a desert camouflage-styled jacket and a pair of jeans…

"Do you want me to go in with you?" he asked.

"No…I'll be ok. I'll just need a few minutes."

Beast Boy nodded and turned to lift up a large rectangular object wrapped up in bubble wrap and wrapping paper. Raven took the item from his hands and smiled lightly.

"…Thank you, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy smiled and he watched as Raven entranced the gloomy graveyard. She walked amongst the countless tombstones and memorial markers and eventually she came across a somewhat plain and barren plot of land. Standing not too far away and tending to a neighboring plot was one of the groundskeepers.

"You made it," he said softly. "I'm glad someone did."

"I'm just glad that you were able to do this for me," said Raven, unwrapping the item in her hand and she set it into the ground before her. She and the groundskeeper then observed the item carefully:

ANGELA ROSALINA ROTH DARLENE LACEY ROTH

June 23, 1971 – December 2002 April 5, 1947 – March 26, 1981

ALWAYS LOVING ALWAYS LOVED

THE PAST IS HISTORY AND THE FUTURE, A MYSTERY

BUT WE WILL HOLD DEAR OUR MERMORIES OF THIS

LOVING AND DEVOTED MOTHER AND DAUGHTER,

THEIR SMILES AND THE SOUND OF THEIR LAUGHTER…

…FOREVER.

"I am most sorry for your lost," said the groundskeeper. "Especially about the way they were taken from you."

"It's ironic, really. My grandmother died trying to protect my mother and over twenty years later history repeated itself…and my mom died to save me…"

"I only wish that scum-bucket Roth had been arrested and tried for his crime before he passed. 'Tis a bloody shame that the truth came to light only a short while ago and that they never were even able to recover all of your grandmother's remains."

Raven lowered her head. "…Perhaps. But then I have to look at it another way: I could spend the rest of my life hating someone I hardly even know, or I could live and let die….I rather live and let die. I've suffered too much to turn around and add on to my troubles by relishing in the past. All that's left now is to move forward."

"For a youngblood, you're definitely taking this a lot better than I would."

"I've done a lot of growing up in a short span of time. Then again, I had no choice."

The groundskeeper nodded. "Well then, I'll leave you to your family. Take care, Ms. Roth."

"Take care."

**Sparkling grey, in my own veins  
****Any more than a whisper, any sudden movement of my heart**

"I know it feels like a lifetime since…" said Raven knelling down in front of her mother's and grandmother's headstone. "…Since the day you were taken from me. And I know that I never even got the chance to meet you, but in some ways I felt like I have. I met a wonderful woman named Azar, and she was a loving mentor to me, just like you would have been. I also believe that my mother mirrored you in so many ways and I'm grateful that she learned so much from you because if it hadn't been for her, I don't know where I'd be now. In any event however, you two passed away far too early in your lives. You were deserving of a much kinder death than what you experienced and since neither of you were given a proper burial, I decided to find you a final resting place."

**And I know, I know I'll have to watch them pass away  
Just get through this day  
****Give up your way  
****You could be anything  
Give up my way and lose myself **

"…You know ever since the day I was born, people feared that I would bring about the end of the world and unfortunately, it did come true. But then I found the strength from within. Joyful memories that had been pushed so far back in my mind came into light and my emotions – which I've struggled to come to terms with all my life – I finally accepted both the good and bad things about them. I finally understood that it was ok to have certain thoughts and certain traits…because it reminded me that a part of me was still human and once I accepted them, I was able to keep those emotions forever and use their drive to destroy Trigon."

Raven then looked up at the sky and the clouds foretold of an approaching rainstorm. "And yet despite having such personal victories, there are still so many questions left unanswered. I was supposed to die two years ago but because I valued my friends, I was able to thwart that part of the prophecy. But what now? Will I age like a normal person or am I stuck in this body for an eternity? Will I eventually die or will I have to watch my friends grow old and die, leaving me in solitude? Maybe one day I'll find true love…and have children? Can I even _have_ children?"

**Not today  
That's too much guilt to pay  
**

Raven pursed her lips and a lone leaf blew onto her mother's side of the headstone. As she brushed it away, Raven had another thought.

**  
Sickened in the sun, you dare tell me you love me  
****But you held me down and screamed you wanted me to die**

"But I digress. Aside from getting you both a resting place, I wanted to take this time to confess something to you, mother, or better yet to beseech you. I…pray that you can forgive me. When Trigon misled me, I actually believed that you hated me, that you wished that I was never born, that you wished…you'd wished you'd killed yourself. And for quite sometime after that, I wanted absolutely nothing more to do with you or anything relating to you. To some degree I even had the image that it was you who was my enemy painted in my mind…"

**Honey you know, you know I'd never hurt you that way  
You're just so pretty in your pain  
**

"…But later the fog in my head cleared. I finally saw through Trigon's ruses and false illusions and I was appalled to see how he turned me against you. And for that I'm sorry. I should've known that you would never say such things to me and that you really loved me. Your very last thoughts were on how to protect _me_ – not yourself. But I know all that now and there is nothing that can make me forget or forsake that."

**Give up my way, and I could be anything  
I'll make my own way without your senseless hate...  
****Hate...  
****Hate...  
****Hate…  
**

A thunderclap rolled across the sky and Raven drew up the hood to her coat. "It's funny though. The things I want to remember I have to fight to keep their memory alive, but the things I want to forget remain at my side, haunting and taunting me. There are nights when I still dream about him. I hear his grating voice, I see his blazing eyes, I feel his unnatural touch. But now he has no hold over me. Not anymore. I am free to be my own person now, to do as I wish."

The rain started to fall and Raven slowly rose to her feet. "I guess I should cut this reunion short," she said. "I'll be back to see you soon…and…I love you both."

"Raven?"

Raven turned to find Beast Boy standing not too far off and alongside of a tree. He also had an umbrella out.

"Hey," said Raven walking up to him. "We were just finishing up."

Beast Boy took a look at the headstone and smiled lightly. "Here," he said, gesturing for her to get underneath his umbrella and the two made their way towards the exit.

"How do you feel?" he asked after they had walked for a few minutes in silence. "Are you going to be ok?"

"I'm better than ok. For the first time in years I've finally got some closure on my mother's and more recently my grandmother's death. I can finally let go of a lot of this pain inside of me and have a fresh new start…Do you think the others realize that we've been gone for so long?"

"I doubt it. Ever since our trip to Tokyo, Robin and Starfire are practically joined at the hip, and Cyborg left today in the T-ship to help out the Titans North, so it's not like they're going to miss the T-car."

"I still can't believe Cyborg lent you his 'baby' while he was gone," said Raven as they approached the parked T-Car and Beast Boy just grinned as he disarmed the car.

"…He didn't lend it to you, did he?"

"...Ok, no, but please don't tell him! He'll kill me!"

Raven rolled her eyes and climbed in on the front passenger side. "If I know Cyborg, he probably already knows."

"Cyborg is somewhere up in like freaking North Dakota. How is he going to AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Beast Boy?" said Cyborg, whose face appeared in the dashboard screen. _"What are you doing driving my car!?"_

Beast Boy chuckled nervously. "Well, you see, Raven here…"

"Oh, no," laughed Raven. "Do _not_ try to put this all on me. No one said that you had to drive me up here."

"Whose side are you on? Girlfriends are supposed to stand by their man, not throw them under the bus!"

"Not including today, we've only been out one time - and it wasn't even a date. So we're not officially a couple. And you took the T-car without checking with Cyborg - so you'll have to suffer the consequences."

"…I don't like you," murmured Beast Boy and Raven smirked at him. Beast Boy started up the car and drove up, arguing with Cyborg the entire time. Their words however went unnoticed by Raven – who stared out of the window.

**So run, run, run…  
And hate me, if it feels good  
I can't hear your screams anymore  
You lied to me but I'm older now  
And I'm not buying, baby  
Demanding my response  
Don't bother breaking the door down  
I found my way out**

'_So much has changed in so little time,'_ she thought. _'And so much has stayed the same. Cyborg is the oldest of the whole team and no longer an actual 'Teen' Titan. But he's still here with us and he spends so much of his time helping new divisions of the Titans – at least when he's out camping out at Titans East with a certain someone there. And after what felt like eons have gone by, it took a trip to the Far East and one heck of an epiphany to make Robin finally admit his feelings for Starfire. Had I still had feelings for him, I would be pissed at this turn of events, but now I'm just relieved. Starfire is a good friend and Robin is an even greater friend for helping me to stand my ground when I was weak. They deserve to be happy and after seeing them for the past four or so months, they're the happiest when they're together.'_

Raven then glanced over at Beast Boy who was no longer arguing with Cyborg but talking to him in a more civilized manner. _'My opinion of Beast Boy has done quite a lot of evolving since coming so close to death a few years back as well. I guess his brush with his former teammates and his brief stint in leading some honorary Titans against the Brotherhood of Evil has done him wonders. He still likes to kid around and stuff (he is almost a whole year younger than me) but he's matured a great deal too. I've also noticed that even though he is my polar opposite, there are a number of things we have in common, like how we had to fight our innermost demons, experiencing betrayal by the person that we loved and being misunderstood by others because of first impressions and outward appearances. I guess that's why a part of me kind of actually...likes him. '_

Raven paused and then laughed to herself, and Beast Boy shot her a sideward glance.

"What's so funny?"

"…Five years ago, back when we all first met, I was afraid to express myself because I was worried about my emotions wreaking havoc … or about Trigon. I was afraid to cry, afraid to scream, afraid to laugh…afraid to live. But I'm getting more used to being in my own skin, and it feels good."

"Glad to hear that. You ought to keep on smiling though, Raven. You've got a beautiful smile…and you deserve to be happy. You've got every reason to be happy."

**And you'll never hurt me again…**

Raven simply smiled. "Damn right, I do."**  
**

*THE END*


	35. Author Notes

Well, I can't believe it. I can't believe that it's finally over. It's been a long but fun year and a half, and I'm grateful to all who read and enjoyed Raven: Soundtrack of My Life. Believe me, there have been plenty of times when I seriously considered discontinuing the story, but there were some of you who encouraged me to keep at it so a special thanks to you guys. For those of you who are interested to see the song list used in piecing together this fic, see below:

**1. Missing - Anywhere But Home**

**2. Exodus – Evanescence EP *very rare***

**3. Bring Me To Life – Fallen**

**4. October/Goodnight –Unknown**

**5. Give Unto Me – Sound Asleep (aka Whisper EP) *very rare***

**6. My Last Breath - Fallen**

**7. Field Of Innocence - Origin**

**8. Thoughtless – Anywhere But Home (cover of Korn's song)**

**9. Bleed (I Must Be Dreaming), aka 'Untitled' – –Unknown**

**10. Weight Of The World – The Open Door**

**11. Where Will You Go? – Origin**

**12. Away From Me - Origin**

**13. All That I'm Living For – The Open Door**

**14. Lose Control – The Open Door**

**15. Imaginary - Fallen**

**16. Hello – Fallen**

**17. The Only One – The Open Door**

**18. Haunted - Fallen**

**19. Forever Gone, Forever You**

**20. Everybody's Fool - Fallen**

**21. Going Under -Fallen**

**22. Solitude – Evanescence EP *very rare***

**23. Good Enough – The Open Door**

**24. Lithium – The Open Door**

**25. Forgive Me – Sound Asleep (aka Whisper EP) *very rare***

**26. Snow White Queen – The Open Door**

**27. Sweet Sacrifice – The Open Door**

**28. Breathe No More ****– Anywhere But Home**

**29. Lies/Cloud Nine - Origin/The Open Door**

**30. My Immortal - Fallen**

**31 Your Star – The Open Door**

**32. Farther Away ****Innocence - Origin**

**8. Thoughtless – Anywhere But Home**

***33. Whisper – Origin/Fallen**

**34. The Last Song I'm Wasting On You – The Open Door (Bonus Track)**

_*For my personal use, I had spliced the introduction of the Origin version to the Fallen Version. _

As for the rest of the Soundtrack of My Life stories, I will continue it as soon as I decide (or rather you readers decide) on the Titan of choice but it will probably be a while before the story actually hits the net since there's a number of personal issues that I have been and must attend to. Besides, I have a seemingly endless list of projects (both literary and visual) that I want to achieve so it'll be anyone's guess when the series' next installation will appear. All I ask is for you to be patient and bear with me.

Until next time readers,

CasaNova73099


End file.
